Does Mutual Separation Without Explicit Words Mean Divorce?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

We have been married for over five years, and during this time, we have separated three or four times. I have never explicitly said the words “you are divorced” or anything similar.

Mostly, our separations have been mutual decisions due to disagreements or her need to take care of her parents. We would agree to separate to allow her to fulfill that obligation, thinking we were “done.” However, we always ended up reconciling.

Does this constitute an express or allusive intention of divorce?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question.

Your mutual decision to separate, and the statement that “we were done,” would need intention and circumstantial indicators for divorce, such as an argument or explicit discussion of divorce. Only you can determine whether these situations arose with those specific intentions.

Unclear or allusive words like “we are done” do not automatically result in divorce. However, if one intended divorce or if a discussion of divorce took place, then one irrevocable divorce would occur, and the wife would enter her waiting period (‘idda). If the couple wishes to reconcile, they can renew the marriage contract (nikah) during or after the waiting period.

Words that do not explicitly and clearly express the severing of the marital bond require an intention or circumstantial indication, such as discussing separation or divorce.

Allusive and Non-Allusive Words

Divorce is of two types:

• Clear and plain words (sarih)
• Allusive words (kinaya)

Sarih (clear) means expressly pronouncing the word divorce or words derived from it, such as: “I divorce you” or “you are divorced” etc. Kinaya (allusive) means using words that are not exclusively prescribed for issuing divorce but allude and hint at it.

Clear and plain words effect divorce whether one intends divorce by them or not, while allusive words do not effect it unless one intends divorce by them or it is determined by the circumstance one is in. [Ibn ’Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

Refrain From These Types of Statements

Divorce is a serious matter and should only be executed after consulting with a scholar. Many people hastily mention divorce, committing a grave sin by not adhering to the clear rules.

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) encouraged us to speak well, saying:

“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him say what is good or remain silent” [Bukhari].

Review Marriage Obligations

Both of you should review your obligations within the marriage and agree on a plan for conflict resolution. You may also take a free course with us on Islamic marriage. May Allah (Most High) create happiness and harmony in your marriage, amin.

I encourage you to explore the valuable answers and resources linked below for further guidance, in sha’ Allah.

Related:

• Marriage and Divorce Archives
• A Guide to Marriage: SeekersGuidance Reader
• Why Marriage Contracts & Agreements Matter Seminar by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
• Devil’s Tricks – The Path of Muhammad: Birgivi’s Manual of Taqwa Explained
• A Reader on OCD and Waswasa (Baseless Misgivings)

Why not start your journey of knowledge by enrolling in a course on SeekersGuidance? For example, you could take Keys to Successful Muslim Marriages from the Islamic Studies Curriculum and progress through each course from there.

I pray this helps with your question.
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Mawlana Ilyas Patel has received traditional education in various countries. He started his schooling in the UK and completed his hifz of the Quran in India. After that, he joined an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied secular and Aalimiyya sciences. Later, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries to further his education. Mawlana has served as an Imam in the Republic of Ireland for several years and taught the Quran and other Islamic sciences to both children and adults. He also worked as a teacher and librarian at a local Islamic seminary in the UK for 12 years. Presently, he lives in the UK with his wife and is interested in books and gardening.