How Can Parents Manage the Effects of Adolescence on Their Children?
Answered by Shaykh Abdul Sami‘ al-Yaqti
Question
What should parents do to mitigate the effects of adolescence on their children?
Answer
All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds. Blessings and peace be upon the Master of the Messengers, his Family, and all his Companions.
Before answering this question, it is important to clarify two key points, briefly, which the answer will be based on:
First
Some psychologists have exaggerated their descriptions of adolescence and the changes that occur during this stage. They have even described it as a period of psychological storms or a phase of madness and intense mental and emotional turmoil. For example, Stanley Hall defined it as “a period of storms, stress, and tension, surrounded by psychological crises, dominated by suffering, frustration, anxiety, conflicts, problems, and difficulties in adjusting to others.” [Dr. Fariyal al-Ustadh, Risalat al-Bulugh wa al-Murahaqa lada al-Banat]
Second
When parents, guardians, and educators understand the characteristics of adolescent development, they greatly help them deal with teenagers and choose appropriate tasks for them. [Riyad Muhammad ‘Askar, Nafsiyyat al-Murahiq]
Parents’ Role
The role of parents in mitigating the potential negative effects of adolescence can be summarized in the following points:
- Supervision and Attention: Monitor and stay involved with your children during this phase, avoiding neglect.
- Preparation and Awareness: Introduce and explain the changes—especially physical ones—that the child will experience.
- Teaching Religious Rules and Etiquette: Educate them about the religious obligations and social manners related to puberty and responsibility before these changes occur.
- Consistent Support and Guidance: Provide continuous psychological, educational, and practical support throughout their youth.
Many books and studies discuss this phase and its challenges in detail, which can be referenced for further insight, like “Sikulujiyyat al-Murahiq al-Mu‘asir” and “Mushkilat al-Tufula wa al-Murahaqa” by Dr. ‘Abd al-Rahman al-‘Isawi.
Summary
While adolescence may bring about natural effects or awkward situations, it is important not to overemphasize them or treat them as overly severe. If we exaggerate, these effects could escalate into psychological problems that are difficult to manage. Therefore, it is essential to approach this phase with wisdom and the steps mentioned.
And Allah knows best.
[Shaykh] Abdul Sami‘ al-Yaqti
Shaykh Abdul Sami‘ al-Yaqti is a Syrian scholar born in Aleppo in 1977. He obtained his degree in Shari‘a from the Shari‘a Faculty of Damascus University, a Diploma in Educational Qualification from the Faculty of Education at Aleppo University, and a Diploma in Shari‘a and a Master’s in Shari‘a from the Faculty of Sharia, and Law at Omdurman University in Sudan. He is currently writing his doctoral thesis.
He studied under esteemed scholars such as Shaykh Abdul Rahman al-Shaghouri, Shaykh Mustafa al-Turkmani, and Shaykh Dr. Nur al-Din Itr, among others. Shaykh al-Yakti has worked in teaching and cultural guidance in orphanages and high schools in Aleppo. He served as an Imam, Khatib, and reciter at Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque in Abu Dhabi and as a certified trainer for Khatibs in Abu Dhabi’s Khatib Qualification Program.
He is involved in developing and teaching a youth education program at Seekers Arabic for Islamic Sciences.
Among Shaykh al-Yaqti’s significant works are “Imam al-Haramayn al-Juwayni: Bayna Ilm al-Kalam Wa Usul al-Fiqh” and the program “The Messenger of Allah Among Us (Allah bless him and give him peace).”
