How to Deal with My Husband’s Disinterest towards Islam?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
My husband is not practicing Islam, does not go to Friday prayers, does not fast, eats non-halal food, and lately has also told my son that Allah Most High is inaccurate. Please suggest ways to make him love and practice Islam.
Answer
I empathize with your pain of seeing your husband not pray and exposing atheistic ideas to your children. May Allah guide him back to the truth and overcome these doubts. These links offer the best advice on the subject:
My Husband Doesn’t Pray
My Husband Doesn’t Pray: How Do I Advise Him
Kindness and Mercy
The most important thing for your marriage is to be kind to him and tell him gently that you feel strongly about the importance of praying, believing in Allah Most High, and not exposing the children to anything else. You should advise him peacefully without getting upset and continue this train of subtle advice until he comes to terms on his own. Pushing someone to pray usually never works or never lasts. With time, I believe that he will change. Persevere and be patient. Allah, Most High, says, “And seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, it is a burden except for the humble—” [Quran, 2:45]
Reasons for His Behavior
Your husband might have underlying issues causing him to act out like this. He might be feeling depressed, stressed, have financial problems, or something else. It would be wise as a wife for you to get close to him, bond with him, and figure out his most profound pain. Take your time, talk to him regularly, don’t apply pressure, and tell him that you are his biggest supporter and helper. This might relieve him and bring out feelings you didn’t know existed. Keep up this trend; it is essential to making a marriage work.
Your Own Worship
Try to increase your worship to bring the baraka into your home. Pray on time, complete with sunnas, read some Quran daily, and ask Allah Most High fervently to guide your husband. Du’a is very powerful; this test could elevate your relationship with Allah Most High. Allah Most High listens and answers every du’a in the best way for that person.
The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Our Lord who is blessed and exalted descends every night to the lowest heaven when the last one-third of the night remains and says: Who supplicated Me so that I may answer him? Who asks of Me so that I may give to him? Who asks My forgiveness so that I may forgive him?” [Abu Dawud]
Children
Right now, you are the sole religious guide for your children, and you must display strength for that responsibility. Communicate to him that if he does tell the children that Allah is not accurate, you will interject and tell them the truth. Don’t be apologetic or even hide it from him. He should see your firmness on this point and will probably abandon this behavior with your son. Teach your son to pray, get him Quran lessons, and instill in him Islamic behavior. Take a course at Seekers like:
Keys to Raising Righteous Children: Eight Lessons on Successful Parenting
Nurturing Children: Key Lessons from the Prophet as a Parent & Educator
Halal Food
Please ensure that non-halal food does not enter your home, nor do you eat it yourself and your son. Ensure that you will not be able to serve him or cook if this enters the house. You can draw some lines that he should respect. Never get angry at any point but show dignity and self-restraint in your communication.
May Allah ease this for you and bless your family with the total pleasure of Allah Most High, the Exalted.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
