Should I Approach Marriage While I’m Still an Unemployed Student?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
As an unemployed student considering early marriage for the sake of Allah, what is the best way to approach someone respectfully while balancing deen, responsibility, and family involvement?
Answer
Thank you for your question. Your sincerity, maturity, and desire to marry a religious girl are all praiseworthy, Masha’Allah.
Marriage
Does she fulfill the criteria mentioned by the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace)? One must choose a spouse for religion. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty, or her piety. Select the pious; may you be blessed!“ [Bukhari; Muslim]
This applies to both genders.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“O young people! Whoever among you is able to marry should do so, for it helps lower the gaze and protect chastity. And whoever is unable should fast, as it will diminish his desire.” [Ibid.]
The Right Approach
Approaching her and not the family blurs the boundaries between halal and haram, and I advise you to go directly to her father if you have prayed istikhara about her and it feels positive. You would have to tell him that you are a student but plan to graduate soon and apply for jobs.
You could propose a nikah or engagement at least. You never know, he may appreciate the extra time that you need if his daughter doesn’t feel ready yet. Families often value character, deen, and ambition even more than current income, especially if you show commitment.
Turn to Allah
Remember that you Lord is All-Seeing and All-Hearing. If this is meant to be, He will provide for you and facilitate it. Trust in Him. If not, then be prepared to move on and in sha Allah, you will find someone who is destined for you.
Find solace in Allah’s promise in the Quran:
“(…) And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide for him from sources he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed, Allah has set a measure for all things.” [Quran, 65:2-3]
Please see more details here:
- How Do I Convince My Mother to Let Me Marry While I Am Studying?
- How to Explain the Advantages of Marrying Young to My Family?
- Can I Pray to Allah That I Marry My Classmate from University?
- How Do Students With No Money Deal With Sexual Urges?
- How Do I Approach a Girl for Marriage While I Am Still Studying?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied ‘aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
