My Husband Is Addicted to Weed

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Question: After marriage, I learned that my husband is a weed addict and does not practice the deen. My question is that how to bear with him and handle this Islamically? I also fear that I am harsh to him when we fight which might anger Allah.

Answer: Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you sister for your question. This is a tremendously difficult situation and I pray that Allah rewards you for your hard work and patience. Allah, Most High, says, “And whoever relies on Allah completely – He is more than enough for him.” [Qur`an, 65:3]

Istikhara

Your situation is not sustainable but at the same time leaving your husband may not be the correct thing while your child is young. You must pray Istikhara: The Prayer of Seeking Guidance and ask Allah to guide you to the right way. Pray it for at least 21 nights during tahajjud time and How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (salat al-haja)? as well. Plead for His help and guidance and follow what you feel Allah puts in your heart.

In the meantime

While you make your decision, do your best to be patient with him and make life comfortable for him. This is an approach from “Fascinating Womanhood”. This book speaks about treating your husband kindly, cheerfully, and being very feminine in order to bring out his masculine and responsible nature, bringing a better balance to the marriage.

Keep away while he is intoxicated

You are doing the right thing to stay away while he is intoxicated. You could stay in your room with the door locked, or you could go out with your baby somewhere while he is at home intoxicated. If you don’t have a driver’s license, please take the steps to get one right away. If you eventually do end up leaving him, you will need these skills to live on your own. You should also consider acquiring a skill or degree while you are married to him in case you need to support yourself afterward.

Marijuana anonymous

This 12 step recovery program has proven to help marijuana addicts recover from their addiction. You can find it here: https://marijuana-anonymous.org/ See the website and encourage your husband to join it. I have seen more than one successful marriage where a lady is patient throughout her husband’s addiction and he recovers. I pray that this happens for you sooner than later. Ultimately, the decision is yours.

Take care of yourself

Don’t forget to take care of yourself through these hard times. Pray your prayers on time, pay zakat, fast Ramadan, and learn your personally obligatory knowledge. Also, learn your rights and responsibilities as a wife. These courses are all available on Seekers. Focus on your child, your house, and your self-growth and learning. Take time for exercise, fresh air, eat healthily, take supplements, and get enough rest. Find religious friends that help you and support you emotionally. “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out”. [Winchell, Walter]

Dua

Rely on Allah, trust in His plan. A great good may come out of this. These are some Dua´s that will be useful inshaAllah. Selected Prophetic Prayers for Spiritual, Physical and Emotional Wellbeing by Chaplain Ibrahim Long

The Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “Strange is the affair of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except the believer. If he has an occasion to feel delighted, he thanks (Allah), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he is harmed, he endures it patiently, thus there is a good for him in it.“

The Legal Ruling on Smoking and Its Punishment
Smoking Marijuana and the Importance of Keeping Good Company
Smoking Marijuana: Are My Prayers Not Valid for 40 Days?

May Allah help your husband recover and unite your hearts in happiness and Allah’s good pleasure.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Sudden Fear of Dying

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Question: Suddenly I got thinking that I will die tomorrow and I can’t stop crying. I prayed two Rakats, but I only fell asleep after hearing a dua and a surah. Today I feel the same and I’m confused whether it is from Allah or the Shaytan.

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum Sister,

Thank you for your honest question. You sound like you are in much pain. May Allah guide you through this and relieve your heart.

I want to let you know that no one can tell you when you are going to die. This has been written in the Tablets, from the time that you were in the womb, and you must not preoccupy your mind with it. Every soul will taste death, as it says in the Qur’an, but we must focus on preparing for it.

If I were in your shoes, I would do the following:

1) Pray on time, five times a day
2) Read some Qur`an with the meaning every day
3) Give charity or do service every day
4) Exercise in the fresh air and eat healthy every day, especially drop the sugar
5) Keep the company of good, religious friends and family
6) Learn your personally obligatory Islamic Knowledge; it is your best weapon against anxiety and worry.

Allah, Most High, says, “those who believe and whose hearts find comfort in the remembrance of Allah. Surely in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find comfort.“ [Qur`an, 13:28]

Please regularly invoke the Du`as in the links below, may Allah give you every success and relief!

Abu Zayd Balkhi on Depression – Shaykh Dr. Asim Yusuf
Depression and Sadness
Selected Prophetic Prayers for Spiritual, Physical and Emotional Wellbeing by Chaplain Ibrahim Long

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Is It Permissible to Disown an Actively Homosexual Family Member?

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Question: Is it permissible to disown an actively homosexual family member?
Answer: Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,Dear questioner,

May Allah guide me, you, and all of our family members.

It is impermissible to cut family ties with any family member unless they are actively harming someone.

Asma the daughter of Abu Bakr asked the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) if she should keep ties with her mother who was at the time an idol worshipper, and he said that she should. (Bukhari) Idol worship is much, much worse than being in a physically homosexual relationship.

This tells us that one cannot disown someone just because they are engaged in gross sin. Rather, one can only avoid them, or cut off ties, if there is harm in being around them.

Please see:

How Should I Go About Having Meetings With My Homosexual Brother?

Cutting Ties to In-laws

I pray this helps.

[Ustadh] Farid Dingle

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Farid Dingle has completed extensive years of study in the sciences of the Arabic language and the various Islamic Sciences. During his studies, he also earned a CIFE Certificate in Islamic Finance. Over the years he has developed a masterful ability to craft lessons that help non-Arabic speakers gain a deep understanding of the language. He currently teaches courses in the Arabic Language

With Regards to Seclusion, Is It Right to Ride With the Opposite Gender in a Car?

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Question: With regards to khalwa, is it okay to ride with the opposite gender in a car? Not as in chauffeuring but riding with them in the front seat because you know them and you are going to a common destination?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum

The definition of seclusion (khalwa) that jurists provided was for a man being alone with one woman who is not of unmarriageable kin (mahram) within an enclosed area in such a way that a third party is unable to see or enter upon them.

Such seclusion with the opposite gender has been prohibited in sound prophetic traditions. Ibn `Abbas stated, “I heard the Prophet (God bless him and grant him peace) give a sermon. He said, ‘A man should not seclude himself with a woman except that there be with her someone who is of unmarriageable kin (mahram).'” (Bukhari, Muslim)

Situations not deemed as impermissible seclusion

The following scenarios would not be considered impermissible seclusion:

(a) a man and a woman being outside in public, such as a street or sidewalk.

(b) a man and a woman being in an enclosed area that people can and do routinely enter and exit without requiring permission, such as a mosque.

(c) a man and a woman being in an enclosed area that people cannot easily and routinely enter without permission but where they are visible to outsiders, such as a glass office whose door is closed.

(d) a man and a woman being in an enclosed area that people cannot easily and routinely enter without permission but where there is a barrier separating the two.

(e) a man and a woman being in an enclosed area that people cannot easily and routinely enter without permission but with another person present who is either (i) a mahram or spouse, (ii) an upright non-mahram man, (iii) an upright non-mahram woman, or (iv) a group of non-mahram woman.

(Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar (6:368) but interpreting category (e(iii)) as relating to a very elderly woman; Nawawi, al-Majmu` (4:173-74); Mawsu`a al-Fiqhiya (19:267-68))

Sharing a car ride with the opposite gender

In regards to sharing a ride with a member of the opposite gender who is not a mahram with no other party inside the car and no clear barrier between the occupants, this would not constitute seclusion when it is in a place (such as a town, city) where there are people around who would able to see them. Otherwise, it would constitute seclusion, such as during the night in an isolated place.

Even in cases where it would not technically constitute seclusion, it may be disliked and superior to avoid unless there is some need.

[Ustadh] Salman Younas

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Salman Younas was born and raised in New York and graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Political Science and Religious Studies. After studying the Islamic sciences online and with local scholars in New York, Ustadh Salman moved to Amman. There he studies Islamic law, legal methodology, belief, hadith methodology, logic, Arabic, and tafsir. Ustadh Salman’s personal interests include research into the fields of law/legal methodology, hadith, theology, as well as political theory, government, media, and ethics. He is also an avid traveler and book collector. He currently resides in Amman with his wife.

In What Order Should One Study the Shafii Madhab, and Which Books of Fiqh Should One Study?

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Question: In what order should one study the Shafii madhab, and which books of fiqh should one study?

Answer: Wa alaykum assalamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Dear questioner,

Thank you very much for your poignant question.

What is generally observed across the Shafii world is that they study Matn Abi Shuja, Fath al Muin, and then Minhaj al Talibin.

Stages of Learning

The great late Shafii scholar, Imam al Bajuri mentions that there are three levels of learning.

The first is when you do not have an idea about the general discussions of the given science. Such a person is trying to acquire that basic picture.

The second is the student who has an overview of the discussions, but not in much detail or much mastery. Such a student then needs to achieve mastery and detail.

The third is he who has the mastery of the details and is able to decisively prove (or debate) them. This the final stage of learning, and the goal of studying fiqh. (Hashiya Bajuri ala Ibn Qasim, Bajuri)

With this in mind, what is generally observed across the Shafii world is that they study Matn Abi Shuja, Fath al Muin, and then Minhaj al Talibin, with the three books covering the three levels above.

Many will add many other books in the first and second stages, and this generally brings about better results. That said, Ibn Khaldun was critical of students reading lots of primers. (Prolegomena, Ibn Khaldun)

Self Study

Imam al Nawawi seems to have studied three books in fiqh: the Tanbih of Shirazi, the Wasit of Ghazali, and the Muhadhdhab of Shirazi. With each, he spent a long time with his teachers clarifying the meanings, implications, and details of the rulings within.

That said, he didn’t just read with his teachers, but when he reached a certain level, he read very, very extensively. This is what made Nawawi so significant.

And this is the case with all big ulema. None of them simply sat with their teachers and took down notes. Rather, they sat, took notes, researched, debated, etc, until they reached the level of their own teachers.

One of my own teachers actually forbade me to ask any questions that didn’t stem from my own reading. He told me that for every one hour of class time, I had to do nine hours of reading.

That said, doing the extensive reading before the first stage mentioned above is not a good idea at all, and one should always refer back to one’s teachers and not just go off on one’s own path.

Conclusion

In view of the third-level learning stage, any well-known primers that enable the student to achieve the learning goals are good. Matn Abi Shuja, Fath al Muin, and then Minhaj al Talibin have been a mainstay of many Shafi’is for about four hundred years.

I pray this helps.

[Ustadh] Farid Dingle

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Farid Dingle has completed extensive years of study in the sciences of the Arabic language and the various Islamic Sciences. During his studies, he also earned a CIFE Certificate in Islamic Finance. Over the years he has developed a masterful ability to craft lessons that help non-Arabic speakers gain a deep understanding of the language. He currently teaches courses in the Arabic Language

Is Repentance Accepted From Intentionally Killing a Believer?

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Question: Is there repentance for murder because I’ve read that Ibn Abbas had said that there is no repentance for the intentional killing of a believer. But on the contrary, why do the majority of the scholars say that there is repentance for the intentional murder of a believer? thanks

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

Repentance

The narrations that you quoted must be understood in their context. Allah Most High says, “O My slaves who have wronged themselves! Do not lose hope in the mercy of Allah. Verily Allah forgives all sins. Surely He is the All-Forgiving and Merciful.” [Qur’an; 39:53]

Allah Most High says, “Verily Allah does not forgive that partners be associated with Him and He forgives all else for whom He wishes…” [Qur’an; 04:48]

Thus if we understand the following verse within the context of the above we will understand the matter clearly.

Allah Most High says, “And whoever kills a Believer intentionally then their recompense is Hell-Fire, abiding therein forever; and upon them is the anger of Allah and His curse and for them is a painful punishment.” [Qur’an; 04:93]

Regarding the verse ‘whoever kills a Believer intentionally…’

Tafsir of Fakhr al-Din al-Razi

In the commentary of this verse, Fakhr al-Din al-Razi (may Allah have mercy on him) says,

“Know that we say (regarding this verse, the following): This verse is specific (i.e. not general) in two situations.

The first is that intentional killing can be in a manner that is not unjust, such as retribution (Qisas). For, in this case, the threat (mentioned in the verse) could never apply.

The second is that the intentional killing was done in an impermissible manner if one repents from it, the threat also does not apply.

Thus if these two situations can be specified then we affirm that the generality of the verse is limited in regards to Divine pardon with the following verse as proof: “and He forgives all else for whom He wishes.” [Ref: al-Razi; Mafatih al-Ghaib]

Tafsir of Imam al-Suyuti

Imam al-Suyuti (may Allah have mercy on him) brings the following narrations regarding this verse,

(A) “Ibn Abi Hatim narrates from the transmission of al-Dhahhak from Ibn ‘Abbas (may be pleased with them) that He would say, “His recompense is Hell-Fire if he is taken to account. (I.e. this is in regard to the Believer not the Disbeliever) Thus if Allah wants He will pardon the Believer and if He so wishes He punishes.”

(B) “Ibn Abi al-Nujud transmits from Ibn ‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them) regarding the above verse, “It is His (i.e. Allah’s) recompense of them. If He wants He punishes and if He wants He forgives.”

(C) Imam al-Baihaqi narrates in al-B’ath from Abi Mujliz regarding the verse, “It is his recompense. And if Allah wishes to forgo taking him into account He can do so.”

(D) Ibn al-Mundhir narrates from ‘Aun bin ‘Abdullah regarding the verse, “It is his recompense if Allah takes him into account.”
[Ref: al-Suyuti; al-Durr al-Manthur]

Allah Forgave the Man who Killed 99 people

The story of the man who killed 99 people is more than sufficient to clarify this point

In summary, nothing can come between a person and repenting to Allah Most High. If their repentance is sincere that is.

The Prophet (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “The one who repents from a sin is like one who has no sin.” [al-Baihaqi]

These verses, however, clearly denote the severity of such a heinous action. And for the one who does so and does not sincerely repent, a bad ending is feared for them.

Our teacher, the Mufti of Tarim, Habib ‘Ali al-Mashur (may Allah preserve him) mentioned regarding the above verse – that one of the biggest causes for a bad ending in this life and possibly for one to lose their faith prior to death is to kill a Believer.”

Hope this helps
Allahu A’alam

[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Yusuf Weltch is a graduate from Tarim; a student of Habib Umar and other luminaries; and authorized teachers of the Qur’an and the Islamic sciences.

The Infinitude of Allah

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Question: What does it mean to say that Allah is infinite? Is his size of height limitless?

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Dear questioner,

Thank you for your important question.

Allah is finite in His essence in that He is only one. He is limitless in His attributes in that there is no limit to what He can do and how much He can give etc.

Strictly speaking, Classical theologians do not use the term infinite/limitless to describe Allah. Limitlessness/Infinitude is part of the experience (marifa) of Allah’s greatness.

Please see:

http://www.masud.co.uk/ISLAM/nuh/hikam1.htm

I pray this helps.

[Shyakh] Farid

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Farid Dingle has completed extensive years of study in the sciences of the Arabic language and the various Islamic Sciences. During his studies, he also earned a CIFE Certificate in Islamic Finance. Over the years he has developed a masterful ability to craft lessons that help non-Arabic speakers gain a deep understanding of the language. He currently teaches courses in the Arabic Language

Female inheritance rights

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Question: If one has just one daughter, why can’t one just give her all of one’s estate?

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Dear questioner,

Thank you for your important question.

Allah Most High sent us the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) to show us how to be happy in this life and the next. ‘And We have not sent you, [O Muhammad], except as a mercy to the worlds.’ (Qur’an, 21: 107)

By keeping to what Allah has told us to do we will be successful. If we follow our own whims or our own logic, we will be unsuccessful and unhappy.

Allah Most High has made inheritance very, very clear in the Qur’an. ‘But if there are [only] daughters, two or more, for them is two-thirds of one’s estate. And if there is only one, for her is half.’ (Qur’an, 4: 11) If there is only one daughter, she only gets a half, and the remaining goes to male universal heirs (asaba).

Given that women do not have to pay dowries, or support their husbands or children, Allah has given them less inheritance. This is how Allah in His wisdom Has apportioned rights and responsibilities among mankind. He knows best what is in our interests.

Depending on which of them are left from either your father’s or mother’s side, it could be the parent’s grandson, the parent’s brothers, or other male heirs.

https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/inheritance-laws-can-i-stipulate-other-than-the-determined-amounts-mentioned-in-the-quran/

I pray this helps.

[Shaykh] Farid

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Farid Dingle has completed extensive years of study in the sciences of the Arabic language and the various Islamic Sciences. During his studies, he also earned a CIFE Certificate in Islamic Finance. Over the years he has developed a masterful ability to craft lessons that help non-Arabic speakers gain a deep understanding of the language. He currently teaches courses in the Arabic Language

The physical relationship between Allah and the universe

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Question: Is the universe in Allah, or is Allah in the universe?

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Dear questioner,

Thank you for your important question.

Allah is neither in the universe nor is the universe in Allah. The two are completely different categories of being.

Allah is the creator and exists through Himself. The universe exists because of Him, but not physically in Him. He is greater than having a physicality, because physicality itself implies dependence.

‘He is the First and the Last, and the Outward and the Inward; and He is Knower of all things.’ (Qur’an, 57: 3)

Please see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLmoZ4r12GI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5PE6scbWV4

I pray this helps.

[Shaykh] Farid

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Farid Dingle has completed extensive years of study in the sciences of the Arabic language and the various Islamic Sciences. During his studies, he also earned a CIFE Certificate in Islamic Finance. Over the years he has developed a masterful ability to craft lessons that help non-Arabic speakers gain a deep understanding of the language. He currently teaches courses in the Arabic Language

Women’s right to divorce

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Question: Why is it that a man can independently and unilaterally divorce his wife, while a woman can only get a divorce with his agreement or through legal intervention?

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Dear questioner,

Thank you for your important question.

The reason why Allah has given different rights and responsibilities to men and women is that men and women are physically and emotionally different.

Allah has said in the Quran, ‘Men are in charge of women because We have given more to some than others.’ (Qur’an, 4: 34)

Please see:

https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/can-muslim-women-be-imams-are-women-equal-to-men-in-islam/

Generally speaking, men can independently enter and exit a marriage, while generally speaking women cannot independently enter and exit a marriage. This is not to harm women, but to protect them. The need to protect women is something recognizable to many people who have lived life and is demonstrable by the differences between men and women.

In the case of genuine physical or emotional harm, she can exit the marriage. But in order to be fair, there has to be some kind of greater legal authority to judge whether or not there is genuine physical or emotional harm. (Hashiya al Dasuqi)

I pray this helps.

[Shaykh] Farid

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Farid Dingle has completed extensive years of study in the sciences of the Arabic language and the various Islamic Sciences. During his studies, he also earned a CIFE Certificate in Islamic Finance. Over the years he has developed a masterful ability to craft lessons that help non-Arabic speakers gain a deep understanding of the language. He currently teaches courses in the Arabic Language