Is Standing for a National Anthem Shirk?

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question: Is standing for national anthem shirk? If yes, then if a student stands for the national anthem because it is the rule of the school and hates to do so would he or she be out of the fold of Islam what should a student do in such a case?

Answer: Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

No, standing for the national anthem is not shirk.

What is Shirk?

Shirk would be to:
a. Say there is another independent god besides Allah.
b. Say that Allah is part of another god – like the trinity.
c. Say that someone else is worshipped because he can make you closer to Allah.
d. Worship others besides Allah due to following another person.
e. Affirm that conventional causes bring about their effects independently of Allah.

For more details on this please take one of our Courses on Theology. (Sanusi, al Muqaddimat).

So, clearly, standing for the national anthem is none of the above, therefore it is not shirk. It is a mark of respect, which is not impermissible.

If, however, the anthem has any lyrics which clash with belief or values of the din then the ruling would change accordingly. In this situation, it would be best to speak to the school and clarify that you mean no disrespect, but there are elements that are problematic, and you would like to be excused from it.

May Allah grant you the best of both worlds.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with erudite scholars such as Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh Abdurrahman Arjan, Shaykh Hussain Darwish, and Shaykh Muhammad Darwish. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic with teachers such as Dr. Ashraf Muneeb, Dr. Salah Abu’l-Hajj, Dr. Hamza al-Bakri, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Dr. Mansur Abu Zina, and others. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Qur’anic recital by Shakh Samir Jabir and Shaykh Yahya Qandil. With Shaykh Ali, he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Qur’anic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.

Do I Have to Pay Back my Father After Graduating?

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question: Assalamu ‘Alaykum, My dad gave me a lot of money for my undergraduate studies. Do I have to pay it back?

Answer: Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

If your father did not specify that this money was a loan then you are not obliged to pay it back. You can assume it was a gift.

Repaying Good With Good

Having said that, some of the best qualities one can acquire are gratitude and being appreciative. If it is possible do give it back to your father. Even if he does not accept the money he will appreciate the gesture.

The Messenger of Allah said, “Whoever does something good for you do something equivalent for them. If you’re unable to do so then pray for them until you think you have done the equivalent.“ (Abu Dawud)

May Allah grant you the best of both worlds.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with erudite scholars such as Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh Abdurrahman Arjan, Shaykh Hussain Darwish, and Shaykh Muhammad Darwish. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic with teachers such as Dr. Ashraf Muneeb, Dr. Salah Abu’l-Hajj, Dr. Hamza al-Bakri, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Dr. Mansur Abu Zina, and others. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Qur’anic recital by Shakh Samir Jabir and Shaykh Yahya Qandil. With Shaykh Ali, he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Qur’anic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.

The Importance of Education in Life

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question: My sister has stopped going to school for the last three years. She is too scared to go to school. We tried to contact many scholars but no one could help us. I request you to please help us and tell us what to do.

Answer: Assalamu alaykum,

May Allah reward you for being concerned for your sister. This is a serious matter indeed. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “Seek knowledge from your cradle until your grave.“ Getting an education is something that is necessary for a girl, no matter the age, in order for her to raise a generation of intelligent, devoted believers.

The first thing I would do is take a step back and look at your family’s life as a whole. You must do your best to eliminate the strictly prohibited (haram) and the offensive (makruh) from everything in your family’s life. Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “Verily, this world is cursed and everything in it is cursed. Except for the remembrance of Allah and what is conducive to it, the scholar and the student.” [Tirmidhi] Here are a few examples to follow for your sister and the family:

1) Only eat of the permissible (halal); do not go near unslaughtered meat or any doubtful ingredients in the food you buy.

2) Remove any statues from the home, or pictures of animate beings from the walls and decor, such as birds, butterflies, etc)

3) Be sure that she and everyone else is praying five times a day. No men should be missing the Friday prayer. Everyone should learn or review their personally obligatory knowledge to make sure that their worship is valid. Check to see if you owe any zakat and pay it in full. Also, pay off any debts.

4) She and everyone in the home must read some Qur’an every day, preferably understanding the meaning of a translation.

5) She should be covering herself with hijab when she leaves the home or comes in the company of marriageable (non-mahram) men.

6) She and the rest of the family should reconcile with any enemies or with anyone against whom they are holding grudges.

7) Check for any contraventions of the shari`ah that might be going on.

Once you have begun to apply at least these guidelines above, you can hope that Allah will solve this issue for you. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “Take care of Allah, and He will take care of you.“

Get up in the last third of the night to pray The Prayer Of Need. Ask Allah to forgive you all, ask Him to rectify this problem.

During this period, make sure that she is learning at home, and keeping up to date with her English, Maths, and Islamic Knowledge and Qur’an. https://www.khanacademy.org/ is an excellent website to use.

She should recite all of her sunna du’as when leaving the house, or returning to it when eating, entering or exiting the bathroom, when getting dressed, waking or sleeping, etc. Especially recite the Verse of the Throne (ayah al-kursi) before bed and the last three chapters (surahs) of the Qur’an.

A teacher once told me, “Nothing gets rid of a problem better than charity does“. Give in charity when you can, you can even slaughter an animal to feed the poor. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “Verily, the most beloved of deeds to Allah are the consistent ones, even if only a little.“

I ask that Allah solves this situation for you all and that she return to sound mind and body, capable of helping herself and others.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

What Should One Do If One Had Intercourse With One’s Wife While She Was Still Menstruating?

Answered by Ustadh Farid Dingle

Question: What should one do if one had intercourse with one’s wife and then later found out that she was still menstruating?

Answer: Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Dear questioner,

Thank you for your important and valued question.

In the Shafi’i school, it is recommended when one has intercourse with one’s wife and then later finds out that she is still menstruating to give away half an Islamic gold dinar in charity, or its monetary equivalent. (Asna al-Matalib, Zakariya al Ansari)

There is, of course, no sin on either party as it happened unintentionally.

The Islamic gold dinar is 4.235g. (Reliance of the Traveller, Nuh Keller) Today, half of that would roughly come out to 102 USD.

The reason for this ruling is the hadith, ‘If a man sleeps with his wife while she is menstruating, then if the blood is dark red, let him give a dinar in charity, and if it is light in color, let him give half a dinar.’ (Abu Dawud and others)

I pray this helps,

[Ustadh] Farid

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Farid Dingle has completed extensive years of study in the sciences of the Arabic language and the various Islamic Sciences. During his studies, he also earned a CIFE Certificate in Islamic Finance. Over the years he has developed a masterful ability to craft lessons that help non-Arabic speakers gain a deep understanding of the language. He currently teaches courses in the Arabic Language

How to Repent From an Homosexual Relation

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: I am a Muslim male who had sexual intercourse with the same gender and I decide to repent and ask God for forgiveness because really I would like to change. What should I do?

Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

There is no prescribed expiation (kaffara) for engaging in sexual intercourse with the same gender, nor for any type of fornication whatsoever, which occurs outside the month of Ramadan.

Nevertheless, engaging in any form of sexual activity outside of a valid marriage is deemed to be a grave sin which requires deep and sincere repentance. True repentance has three conditions: (1) to leave the sin immediately, (2) to remorse over having committed the sin, and (3) to resolve never to return to it. You need to be honest with yourself and take all reasonable means to ensure that you don’t slip up again.

The Sunna Way of Repentance

The Blessed Prophet of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), said, “There is no servant who commits a sin, performs the ritual ablution (wudu) well, and then prays two cycles (rak‘as) after which he seeks Allah’s forgiveness, save that He is forgiven.” (Abu Dawud) This is a description of the Prayer of Repentance (salat al-tawba), and one may even perform the ritual bath (ghusl) in place of the wudu to indicate one’s complete washing away of the sin from one’s life.

On another occasion, the Noble Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), said, “The one who repents from sin is like the one who has no sin.” (Ibn Majah) He (Allah bless him and give him peace) also told us to “follow up a bad deed with a good deed and it will wipe it out.” (Tirmidhi) Though the repentance alone is a good deed, consider also giving some charity (sadaqa) and performing a number of good deeds as a manner of beautifying your repentance and voluntarily expiating for the wrongs committed.

Seeking Professional Help

Further, given the number of times that this major sin has occurred, I’d recommend that you also reach out to a sensitive professional who can help counsel you so you can break free of such behaviour altogether. I’d encourage avoiding living or being alone as much as possible, drastically reducing your accessibility to the internet and to also travel for a period of time, if you’re able.

Finally, Ibn ‘Ata Illah al-Sakandari (may Allah sanctify his secret) said, “How often a sin that bequeaths humiliation and neediness is better than worship that bequeaths exultation and haughtiness.” This is a trial from Allah Most High, and by turning back to Him to sincerely change, you’ve opened all kinds of doors of eternal good for yourself. Do everything you can to keep up the impetus in the right direction. “Watch out for Allah, and you will find Him before you.”

(Nawawi, Riyad al-Salihin (33-34))

Please also see: Intercourse During the Month of Ramadan and: A Reader on Tawba (Repentance)

And Allah Most High knows best.

Wassalam,

[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Tabraze Azam holds a BSc in Computer Science from the University of Leicester, where he also served as the President of the Islamic Society. He memorised the entire Qur’an in his hometown of Ipswich at the tender age of sixteen, and has since studied the Islamic Sciences in traditional settings in the UK, Jordan and Turkey. He is currently pursuing advanced studies in Jordan, where he is presently based with his family.

Is It Permissible to Show off If It’s Not Done Out of Contempt?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question: Is it permissible to show off if it’s not done out of contempt?

Answer: Assalamu alaykum,

It is not permissible to show off in religious or worldly works, even if one is not doing it out of contempt or arrogance.

It says in the Reliance of the Traveler, (p33):

Allah Most High says:

(1) “The hypocrites are trying to fool Allah, while it is He who is outwitting them. And when they stand to pray they do so lazily, showing off to people, remembering Allah but little.” (Qur`an, 4:142)

(2) “0 you who believe: do not nullify your charity by reminding recipients of having given it and by offending them, like someone who spends his money as a show for people.” (Qur`an, 2:264)

The Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said,

(1) “The first person judged on Resurrection Day will be a man martyred in battle.” He will be brought forth, Allah will reacquaint him with His blessings upon him and the man will acknowledge them, whereupon Allah will say, ‘What have you done with them?’ to which the man will respond, ‘I fought to the death for You.’ “Allah will reply, ‘You lie. You fought in order to be called a hero, and it has already been saying.’ Then he will be sentenced and dragged away on his face to be flung into the fire.” Then a man will be brought forward who learned Sacred Knowledge, taught it to others, and who recited the Koran. Allah will remind him of His gifts to him and the man will acknowledge them, and then Allah will say, ‘What have you done with them?’ The man will answer, ‘I acquired Sacred Knowledge, taught it, and recited the Koran, for Your sake.’ “Allah will say, ‘You lie. You learned so as to be called a scholar, and read the Koran so as to be called a reciter, and it has already been saying.’ Then the man will be sentenced and dragged away on his face to be flung into the fire. “Then a man will be brought forward whom Allah expansively provided for, lavishing varieties of the property upon him, and Allah will recall to him the benefits bestowed, and the man will acknowledge them, to which Allah will say, ‘And what have you done with them?’ The man will answer, ‘I have not left a single kind of expenditure You love to see made in Your cause, save that I have spent on it for Your sake.’ “Allah will say, ‘You lie. You did it so as to be called generous, and it has already been saying.’ Then he will be sentenced and dragged away on his face to be flung into the fire.” [Muslim]

(2) “The slightest bit of showing off in good works is as if worshipping others with Allah.” [Hakim]

(A: When there is an act of obedience the servant intends to conceal but Allah reveals, then it is merely gratitude for His blessings to admit it to others and thank Him for it. When asked if one is fasting, for example, and one is, then one should say “Praise be to Allah” (alhamdulillah).)

Please see the following links about showing off: Is It Haram to Like One’s Beauty and Appearance? and Showing Off

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

What Is Belief and What Is Disbelief?

Answered by Ustadh Mohammed Tayssir Safi

Question: Assalamu ‘Alaykum, My question is regarding a person who seems to affirm the theory of evolution concerning humans and some beliefs that contradict the Islamic creed. What is ruling on a person who makes such statements? Is he still considered a Muslim or is he an apostate?

Answer: Wa Aleykum Salam

Questions revolving around the belief or disbelief of a specific individual are serious and should be handled with the utmost care. These types of questions should be handled by specialists of law and theology and should not be a topic for open conversation and contemplation. They should also not be engaged from a distance, rather, these types of discussions should be had face to face using the wisdom, gentleness, and mercy that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) always employed.

Furthermore, even an expert’s determination does not actually mean that a person is a believer or a disbeliever before God, rather, it is merely an educated attempt at applying general principles derived from revelation to a given circumstance. Only God truly knows who is a believer and who is a disbeliever, since only God can see the reality of our hearts and only He knows the detailed circumstances in which we live. I preface with all of that to say: We should not be inquiring about the belief status of other people. In fact, we should generally avoid it at all costs.

However, given that the question has been posted, we can use it as a teachable moment. We will address your question specifically, but we can also use this question to address the question of belief and disbelief more broadly. The hope is that the reader can get an idea about how these questions are generally understood in the tradition and the great care we should take to avoid declaring anyone a disbeliever.

But before we move on to addressing the larger issue, let’s first address your question directly. Given the scenario that you have laid out, the person would still be considered a Muslim. One does not leave Islam unless they reject or deny certain matters that are delineated below

What is belief and what is disbelief?

Belief is to submit your heart to what you know to be certainly a part of the religion of the Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace). And disbelief is to not submit, or to reject, or to deny what is certainly a part of the religion. In fact, it is more specific than that: It is to deny that which God has commanded us to believe in that is certainly part of the religion. Thus in order for a person who is Muslim to disbelieve (Allah protect us all from such an end), they essentially must reject what we were commanded to believe in and is certainly part of the religion. [See Ghazali’s Iqtisad as well as his Faysal al-Tafriqa and Taftazani’s Sharh al-Aqa’id]

However, the matter is actually more complicated and nuanced because some matters are known to be certainly part of the religion by the average person and other matters are only known to be certainly part of the religion by experts. The non-expert is not held to the standard of an expert. Rather, he/she only disbelieve if they reject what the average person would certainly know is a part of the religion. An example of this would be the five prayers. If someone were to reject the five prayers, they are rejecting what everyone knows is a part of Islam and as such have disbelieved. But a person might reject one of the laws of inheritance that are certainly part of the religion and are often taken directly from the Qur’an but for a non-expert to reject that would not render them a disbeliever because that is not common knowledge.

In the scenario you asked about, the individual in question does not seem to be denying that which God has commanded us to believe in that is certainly part of the religion. In some of the cases you mentioned, it isn’t even clear whether he is even denying outright or not. In other cases, the matter in question is not certainly known by common knowledge. Perhaps the only exception to what I have just mentioned would be your characterization of him bluntly pronouncing disbelief. It would really matter what he said, specifically, and even then his repeating the testimony of faith thereafter would enter him back into the fold regardless. His not believing that statements might cause one to disbelieve is not one of those commonly known certain parts of the religion and so his rejecting that would not render him a disbeliever.

Given the complexity of what was described above, what is the best step forward?

How should we respond in such cases?

As mentioned at the beginning of this answer, it is best not to inquire about the belief status of another person. However, if one is doing it out of the general concern and wanting to impact the person positively then that is acceptable. In that case one should abide by the following:

Generally, such cases should be left to scholars of the religion to respond to. If you have individuals in your life that can help advise you and advise the person in question, then great! However, one should not debate, call out, or get into an argument with someone over such matters. These are delicate issues that require knowledge, wisdom, and experience. Therefore, non-experts are much better off involving experts unless they believe that it is highly likely that they can advise someone in a good way and that said person will take it in a good way. Otherwise, we risk pushing the person further out which is not the intended outcome.

In addition to what is mentioned above, the scholar should engage the person privately and not publicly. People will generally respond negatively to public criticism or any type of public challenge. It is much more beneficial for the scholar to engage the person and counsel them in private, presenting all proofs in a wise, intelligent, and kind way. The only exception might be someone who is publicly calling to corrupt beliefs, then it is incumbent on someone who is an expert to address it in a wise manner, publicly, so that others will not be impacted by those false beliefs.

In conclusion, disbelief is a ruling of the Sacred Law

Disbelief is not something that we can wield against people we disagree with. Rather, disbelief is the most weighty charge anyone can be accused of and it is only delineated by God and not anyone else. The implications of disbelief are enormous and as such should never be rushed to and in fact should be avoided unless absolutely necessary. [See Ghazali’s Iqtisad and his Faysal al-Tafriqa] Therefore, we must take the utmost care not to rush to such judgments or push people in that direction. This religion is not ours to decide who is in and who is out. Rather, it is up to scholars to extract from revelation what God asks of us and implement it with the wisdom, mercy, and gentleness that the Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace) employed.

I strongly advise you, all readers, and myself to be very cautious when it comes to such matters.

Allah knows best,
I leave you in Allah’s care,

[Ustadh] Mohammed Tayssir Safi

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Mohammed Tayssir Safi was born in Dubai, and moved to the United States six months after he was born. He graduated from the University of Michigan–Ann Arbor in 2006 as a double major in Political Science and Middle Eastern and North African Studies. He spent the next 3 years of his life traveling the Middle East, completing the Arabic program, CASA, in Egypt, and pursuing private studies in Arabic linguistics and introductory Islamic sciences. His brief introduction to Islamic studies continued for another year at the Dar al-Mustafa Institute in Tarim, Yemen. Mohammed also teaches Arabic at the University of Michigan. Apart from classes at the University of Michigan, Mohammed studies at the hands of Muslim scholars privately in multiple sciences including linguistics, law, and theology.

Stealing From One’s Mother

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question: I stole a pendant from my mother’s bag. When she asked me about it I felt terrible. I don’t want to be called a thief. Please guide me.

Answer: Assalamu ‘alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

Giving the value of the pendant to your mother, or placing it in her bag, will suffice as repayment if returning the actual pendant is no longer possible. (Maydani, al Lubab). You would also need to repent to Allah for this sin.

Honesty Leads to Righteousness

Sidq, the word for ‘truthfulness’ in Arabic, can also be understood to mean honesty in some contexts. Truthfulness is the quality of not lying in one’s speech. When it comes to physical acts, the word used is honesty.

The Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, told us that “Indeed truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to the Garden. A person can keep speaking the truth right until he becomes, in the sight of Allah, as an utterly truthful person (siddiq).” (Bukhari) ‘Siddiq’ is the name of the rank the greatest of the awliya’ are granted.

The same would apply to honest dealings with people. If you stick to truthfulness and honesty they will be the cause of many good things happening to you in your life. Please reflect on this.

Imagine having to lie to your mother about this scenario? Imagine what she would think if she found out. Ask Allah for help, and make a resolve not to do such a thing again. May Allah facilitate it for you. Amin.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with erudite scholars such as Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh Abdurrahman Arjan, Shaykh Hussain Darwish, and Shaykh Muhammad Darwish. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic with teachers such as Dr. Ashraf Muneeb, Dr. Salah Abu’l-Hajj, Dr. Hamza al-Bakri, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Dr. Mansur Abu Zina, and others. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Qur’anic recital by Shakh Samir Jabir and Shaykh Yahya Qandil. With Shaykh Ali, he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Qur’anic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.

Best Order To Study The Step One Courses

Answer by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question: What is the best order to study the step-one courses?

Answer: Wa ‘alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh

I pray you are well.

The step one courses are best studied in the following order:

1. Absolute Essentials of Islam (Hanafi or Shafi’i)

2. What Muslims Believe and Why: Dardir’s Kharida al-Bahiyya

3. How Islam Works: What is Religion, and How It Is Preserved, Transmitted, and Interpreted

4. On Worship (Purification, Prayer, Fasting, Zakat, and Hajj) – Hanafi, or Shafi’i

5. On Spirituality: Living the Sunna, Leaving Sin, and Acquiring Good Character: Ghazali’s Beginning of Guidance

6. Living Right: Halal and Haram and Living Prophetic Excellence (Hanafi or Shafi’i).

7. On Spirituality: Living the Sunna, Leaving Sin, and Acquiring Good Character: Ghazali’s Beginning of Guidance

The supplementary, self-study courses can be taken in any order. Whatever works best for you.

We only provide these courses in English, but you are welcome to study them elsewhere in Arabic if you have the opportunity. We also have a number of courses in Arabic in our Arabiyya catalog.

For spirituality, in addition to the courses in this step, there are a number of courses in our On-Demand library. Please consult those. You ask to contact your course instructor for more information.

I hope that helps. May Allah bless you with the best of both worlds.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with erudite scholars such as Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh Abdurrahman Arjan, Shaykh Hussain Darwish, and Shaykh Muhammad Darwish. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic with teachers such as Dr. Ashraf Muneeb, Dr. Salah Abu’l-Hajj, Dr. Hamza al-Bakri, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Dr. Mansur Abu Zina, and others. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Qur’anic recital by Shakh Samir Jabir and Shaykh Yahya Qandil. With Shaykh Ali, he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Qur’anic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.

Dealing Problems With Abusive Father

Answered by Shaykh 

Question: I’m a woman who lives with both parents and siblings home. My dad has sexually abused me for 13 long years without my mom knowing. Do I have any right to leave my parents’ home and never speak to my dad again?

Answer: Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh

Dear sister, I pray Allah gives you a quick release from these difficulties you have endured. The difficulty of the situation and the burden of the secret must have been unbearable.

You have every right to leave your parents’ home; in fact, you must. You need to take all the steps to get yourself out of harm’s way, as living in such an environment is clearly very harmful to you.

Allah Hates Oppression

The Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, quoted Allah Almighty Himself to have said, “Truly, I have made it forbidden on myself to wrong anyone; and I have made it severely forbidden for you! So do not oppress each other!“ (Muslim)

Allah hates oppression, and it is necessary for you to end this cycle by moving away to your new school. This will prevent the continuation of this problem.

When you are ready, you need to discuss this matter with your mother. Do not break ties with her due to your father’s actions. She must know, as there are legal ramifications to this situation too. Also, if he has been secretly doing this to you all these years, it is very likely that there have been other victims.

If he’s managed to keep it a secret from your mother, it’s possible that you could have kept other similarly vile acts a secret. Even if there aren’t any other females he has access to, it needs to be brought up: some younger males could be in danger too.

Distance Yourself

At this point, you need to get out of harm’s way and focus on healing. I don’t advise you to go near your father again for the foreseeable future. The scars you have will take a long time to heal. You will need a lot of therapy and a supportive company to move beyond this.

This is a safeguarding issue, and it should be reported to the authorities. Usually, it is the silence of the victims that emboldens people like this to prey on others. This may even be in his own interests to prevent him from further harm to others.

Supplication

Keep supplicating to Allah for a way out, healing, and for you and your loved ones to stay safe. In the Qur’an, Allah commands us to be excellent to our parents (Qur’an, 17:23). The wording indicates that they deserve this just for being the means of entering this world.

Putting up with harm, and restraining yourself from a bad response are both forms of excellence. If things do get out don’t you yourself think that you are being bad, and don’t let anyone else convince you of that either. I’d say you’ve shown plenty of excellence through these all these years, to both of your parents.

Find Support

Find someone who can support you through this and take the necessary steps. Don’t think about cutting ties or anything right now. The priority is to get away and heal. Things may get worse before they get better.

You don’t have to go near him, nor do you have to speak to him at this point. In fact, it’s better you don’t.

As a closing thought, I’d say that such tests are not given to everyone. They are very hard, and the pain may seem unbearable, but the gifts Allah has in store for you will be infinite and unimaginable great. Have a daily dose of reminders on patience and fortitude, and this seminar may be useful on your journey to healing. Get professional help.

May Allah take very special care of you. Amin.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with erudite scholars such as Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh Abdurrahman Arjan, Shaykh Hussain Darwish, and Shaykh Muhammad Darwish. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic with teachers such as Dr. Ashraf Muneeb, Dr. Salah Abu’l-Hajj, Dr. Hamza al-Bakri, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Dr. Mansur Abu Zina, and others. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Qur’anic recital by Shakh Samir Jabir and Shaykh Yahya Qandil. With Shaykh Ali, he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Qur’anic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.