Is It Sinful To Stay Up Late?

Question:

Is it sinful to stay up late?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question.

 

Disobeying Parents

When one wants to understand if one’s parents should be obeyed, it is good to learn when they do not need to be obeyed. Parents do not need to be obeyed when their demands are in contravention of the shari`ah, extreme or abusive. Please see the details here:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/maintaining-family-ties-obeying-parents/

https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/when-may-parents-be-disobeyed-and-how/

 

Staying Up Late

Considering that staying up late is a bad habit, harmful, and contrary to the Prophetic Sunna, I would say that it could easily be counted as a sin to do this against one’s parents’ wishes. Well-meaning parents compromise with their children when they see how much they want to stay up. They might agree to a later bedtime, but if a child was to transgress that as well, it is just plain wrong. May we seek refuge in Allah from the evil or our own selves.

 

The Rank of Parents

Please see the link below and consider this hadith: Ibn Mas’ud narrated that a man asked the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, “What deeds are the best?“ The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace,   said: “1) To perform the (daily compulsory) prayers at their (early) stated fixed times, (2) to be good and dutiful to one’s own parents, (3) and to participate in Jihad in Allah’s Cause.” [Bukhari]

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next and make you a coolness for your parents’ eyes.

https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/obedience-to-parents-when-they-are-being-difficult/

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

 

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

How Do I Deal With a Mother Who Only Shows Me Affection When She Wants Something From Me?

Question:

The only time my mother talks to me nicely is when I do housework. I do respect her and treat her well, and I help out around the house as the eldest daughter, caring for my siblings, and run errands for her, but never once have I felt that she was ever grateful or even cared about me. She would only touch me to get me to do chores. When I cry in front of her out of stress or anxiety, she scolds me and backs away from me. Please give me advice.

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I am so sorry that your mother is not affectionate and gives you the cold shoulder when you are upset.

 

A Person’s Experiences

Please understand that her life experiences made her into the person she is now. It may be that her parents were not loving, or it may be that they did not know how to show their love. She may have always been encouraged to suppress her emotions and show a tough shell. I am certain that your mother loves you, and I am certain that she is proud of the young lady that you have become.

 

Affection

The advice I am going to give you is what I learned from books on marital advice. As an adult, if you want affection, you must give it first. Start hugging your mother every morning when you wake up. Do it every day, and make it a habit without fail. She will be taken aback at first, but she will come to love it and expect it. If your mother is sitting down somewhere, do not hesitate to sit next to her or put your head in her lap. As the eldest, you will be averse to this, but these habits will change the course of your relationship, by the grace of Allah.

 

Time

Generally speaking, mother-daughter relationships improve with time, especially if you start good habits. When you are older, married or not, you will start being an example for her, and you can communicate to her that it is OK to be more loving and open with her feelings. This will benefit your siblings as well. Your test, for now, is to treat her in the way that is best for both of you. Show patience, encourage emotions, and try to bond with her by going out alone with her, doing her favorite activities with her, praying with her, or listening to her stories.

 

Turn to Allah

In the meanwhile, turn to Allah with supplication, for He sees and appreciates everything that you do. Give in regular charity, even if only a little, be the best Muslimah that you can be, and build your relationship with your Lord. There is no problem that Allah sends down that He cannot solve, so ask for mercy and kindness to be put between your hearts. Make the intention to be a loving and affectionate parent yourself. See the extent of Allah’s mercy below. May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Verily, Allah created, on the same very day when He created the heavens and the earth, one hundred parts of mercy. Every part of mercy is coextensive with the space between the heavens and the earth, and He out of this mercy endowed one part to the earth. It is because of this that the mother shows affection to her child and even the beasts and birds show kindness to one another, and when there would be the Day of Resurrection, Allah would make full (use of Mercy).” [Muslim]

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

 

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Is It a Sin for Not Being Able To Afford a Proper Hospital Birth for My Wife and Deliver the Child Myself?

Question:

If one cannot afford to give his wife a birth in the hospital and neither a midwife to help her, and all he is able to do with his means is to learn himself how to be the so-called “midwife”, would this man be forgiven for not being able to pay for medical bills for his wife?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I commend you for doing your best with your family and for being concerned with your wife’s rights over you. Allah provides in whichever way He wills, and I admire your submission to His will.

 

Options

It is obligatory to pay for the medical expenditures connected to childbirth for your wife, although other medical fees are not obligatory to pay. [Reliance of the Traveller, m11.4]  If I were in your position, I would consider getting medical insurance, taking a loan, or speaking to someone at your local mosque to discuss acquiring a charitable donation for the cause. There are many routes to take before trying to deliver the baby yourself, which can be risky. I might even approach a doctor or midwife from the community and ask them to deliver your wife’s baby in exchange for a skill or service that you might provide.

As long as you are trying your best for your wife and exhausting every resource, you will not be sinning. By His grace, you will be rewarded eternally for your intention and sincerity; may Allah bless you all with the best of this world and the next.

Please see the details here:
https://islamqa.org/shafii/qibla-shafii/33410

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

 

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Is It Permissible for a Convert To Work To Support Herself As She Has No Muslim Family To Support Her?

Question:

Can a convert woman in America who is unmarried and has no Muslim male or female relatives work if she needs to provide for herself?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for your sincerity and for your willingness to be independent.

 

Sustenance (Rizq)

Although you may feel alone, please know that Allah is with you and He has guaranteed your sustenance for you. No one can take away what is meant for you, and your provision will reach you no matter what method Allah uses to get it to you. Please see the details of seeking provision here:
https://seekersguidance.org/articles/general-artices/seeking-nearness-to-allah-the-ultimate-aim-in-our-worldly-work/Shazia Ahmad
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/what-does-it-mean-to-have-beautiful-restraint-and-balance-in-ones-work-career-and-in-seeking-ones-provision/

 

Working in a Mixed Environment

Although there is no obligation upon Muslim women to support themselves, these days, a woman, especially in the West, may find herself without any option but to work to lift herself out of poverty. In this case, she may work, even in a mixed environment, as long as she follows gender interaction rules and keeps a modest decorum.

Please see the details here:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/a-reader-on-gender-interaction/
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/women-the-workplace-is-it-impermissible-for-me-to-work-even-if-i-observe-proper-limits/

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

 

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Is It Permissible To Meet a Potential Suitor in a Public Place Without a Chaperone?

Question:

Would it be permissible to meet a potential spouse in a public place to find out compatibility, of course without any touching, flirting, or inappropriate behavior?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for being concerned about your religion and for fearing Allah in this important matter.

It is permissible for a couple to meet in a public place to discuss marriage, and the most important criteria here is ‘urf, the custom of the land.  It may be seen as inappropriate for a young man and woman to meet outside if they come from a conservative family that is very traditional, while it would be seen as perfectly fine for, say, two working professionals who are in their thirties or even divorced, to meet and talk in a public place.

I recommend that any young suitor or maiden in this position use their discretion and good judgment and get the permission of the girl’s father in any case. Keep in mind that if a couple wants to discuss things alone, there are many ways to do it. A couple may sit in the living room, while the parents converse in the kitchen, or the couple may sit in the backyard, while the family remains inside. Please see the following link and may Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

https://seekersguidance.org/answers/marriage/meeting-with-a-potential-suitor-in-public/

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

 

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Who Becomes the Owner of a Jointly-Owned Business Between Spouses After the Death of One of Them?

Question:

If a husband and wife are legally joint owners of a business or real estate and one of them dies, does the remaining spouse become the sole owner of the property/business, or does all or a portion have to be divided according to inheritance laws?

Answer:

Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

Upon the death of one of their spouses, all of their assets are divided amongst the heirs of that individual according to the Islamic laws of inheritance. Some will go to the spouse, some to the parents, children, etc. The surviving spouse’s share in the business or real estate is not affected.

Please ensure that everyone who has a right receives that right. This is very important for the safety of those who distribute financial rights like this on the Day of Judgement. Not doing so can also ruin relationships permanently in this life.
May Allah grant you the best of both worlds.
[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with many erudite scholars. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Quranic recital and he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Quranic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.

Does Breastmilk Produced Through Artificial Means Bring Shari’a Rulings Into Effect?

Question:

A one-year-old baby was given breastmilk that came through consuming tablets. Is baby now the foster daughter of the woman who breastfed her? Do other rulings apply?

Answer:

Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

 

The Mother’s Family

Yes, the child is now the foster daughter of the lady who breastfed her. See it is her having been placed within the family of the lady who breastfed her. She does not have to cover in front of the foster mother’s brother or son – unless, at some point, there is the fear of this leading to inappropriate interaction from either side. In that situation, she would have to cover.

Otherwise, it is as though she is a biological daughter of the foster mother when it comes to the mother’s direct relatives. The normal rules of clothing and interaction between siblings and near relatives apply here too.

 

The Mother’s Husband

However, the husband of the foster mother is not considered her father as the milk as produced through artificial and not natural means. She child would have to cover in front of him after reaching puberty. [Maydani, al-Lubab]

Try to promote good relationships between her and the rest of the family, always; and even amongst the family members. Having good relationships is highly emphasised in Islam, and it is the means to religious and worldly success.

May Allah grant you the best of both worlds.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

 

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with many erudite scholars. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Quranic recital and he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Quranic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.

How Do I Deal With My Toxic Parents Who Give Me Constant Stress?

Question:

I am an 18-year-old girl, who has been physically, emotionally, and mentally abused due to my toxic and overcontrolling parents since I was six. They often play the Muslim parent card, and I find it hard to communicate with them as I fear talking to my dad, and my mom tries to brainwash me with her emotions. It has been tough for me to focus on my studies and other things. I am often forced to do anything they please, and I recently lost my patience to deal with them.

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I am very sorry for the stress that you are going through with your parents. Please know that a parent-child relationship should be based on mutual love, mutual respect, and mutual understanding. This is a much more effective parenting method in the long run, and I pray that you can achieve this with your parents.

 

Resources

The best thing I can tell you for your situation is to read these excellent and relevant answers, first:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/how-do-we-deal-with-parents-who-emotionally-and-spiritually-abuse-their-children/#
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/dealing-with-a-dysfunctional-relationship-with-parents/
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/dealing-problems-with-abusive-father/

 

Excellence towards Parents

It is true that children should show excellence to parents, but this can be done in various ways. Restraining yourself from a mean or disrespectful response is excellence towards your parents. Doing what they ask when you have some free time is excellent. May Allah reward you for the restraint and patience that you have shown thus far.

 

Harm

As you genuinely feel that your parents are harming you, you must find a way to distance yourself gradually. Explain to them that you need to study, and do not bottle up your emotions. Tell them honestly that they are asking too much of you and that you need a bit more free time. Perhaps you can discuss their expectations of you and write them down, so it is clear and agreed upon.

 

Patience

Your age is the most difficult age when it comes to dealing with parents. You are coming to the age of independence and making your own decisions, while your parents have to learn to start letting go of their little girl. Rest assured that you will move out one day, and marry, maybe sooner than later, and things will get easier, by the grace of Allah. Many a young person does not get along with their parents only to become their best friends after they have their own children.

 

Turn to Allah

In the meanwhile, turn to Allah, learn your personally obligatory knowledge, be the best Muslimah that you can be, and build your relationship with your Lord. There is no problem that Allah sends down that He cannot solve, so ask for His Mercy and Kindness. He will surely come to your aid.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “There are three whose supplication is not rejected: The fasting person when he breaks his fast, the just leader, and the supplication of the oppressed person; Allah raises it up above the clouds and opens the gates of heaven to it. And the Lord says: ‘By My might, I shall surely aid you, even if it should be after a while.’” [Tirmidhi] May Allah give you the best of this world and the next and facilitate your matters for you.

Given the considerations in such cases, we urge you to please consult reliable local scholars or counselors about the specifics of the situation.

Jazakum Allah khayr. May Allah facilitate all ease and good for you. 

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

 

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Should I Pray Istikhara About Marrying a Man Whose Family Refuses Me Because of My Caste?

Question: 
Should I perform istikhara for this boy I actually like, whose family will not agree? What should I do?
Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question.  I empathize with your frustration of wanting to marry someone whose family does not agree. Rest assured that you are not the only one this has happened to, and the best thing is to submit to Allah’s will.

 

Istikhara

There is no harm in praying istikhara about waiting for this boy or not. It actually would be better for you to do this and feel comfortable about making your next step. If it comes as negative, you can clear your mind and start opening up to other options, and if it is positive, you might talk to your parents about him. See these links:
[https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/istikhara-the-prayer-of-seeking-guidance/]

 

Two Options

Your options are only two. Either you will move forward with him or you will not. Be prepared to submit to Allah’s will, and know that Allah is always there with you and understands your pain. Build your relationship with Him first, and put all your trust and reliance on Him. Trust that if this boy is not for you, someone better will come along, by His grace.

Please see these answers about caste:

https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/do-i-have-to-marry-someone-within-my-caste-to-please-my-family/

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next and bless your union with whoever it may be.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Can I Play Video Games To Keep Family Ties Strong?

Question:
Can I play video games to keep family ties strong?
Answer:
Dear questioner,
 May Allah bless you and increase you in good.
One of the most important things in the life of a Muslim who is striving to be a good Muslim is about the company one keeps.
Good Company
The Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
 “A person is on the religion of his close friend, so let him carefully examine whom he befriends.” [Tirmidhi]
This hadith lays down the foundation of good. Muhammad Mawlud, a great West African scholar, says in his famous Matharat al-Qulub, “The foundation of all good and evil rest in the same source, companionship.” I recommend you keep the company of those who remind you of Allah and whom you enjoy their company because it enriches you and leaves you a better Muslim after your time with them.
Temptation 
Temptation and Shaytan’s ploys could be tricky. The devil will try to find subtle ways to delude you. So take caution!
“Satan is an enemy to you, so treat him as an enemy. He only invites his gang to be among the inmates of the Inferno.” [Qur’an 35:6]
 Playing one game sometimes to keep the kinship bond may lead to more games, which opens up that trap-door for you once again.
We do not need to do anything that jeopardizes our relationship with Allah to please others.
Have a meal together, buy them a gift, have some tea or coffee together, maybe even pray together! There are many ways to keep kinship bonds ties strong without video games.
As for the actual ruling of video games, refer to this answer:
May Allah bless you and keep you strong on your faith. 
[Imam] Yama Niazi
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani