Obeying Muslim Rulers

Question: What do I have to do if I mistakenly quote Islam on something?

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Dear questioner,

Thank you for your important question.

One may not obey the Muslim ruler concerning something sinful. (Nihayat al-Muhtaj, Ramli)

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, ‘A Muslim must hear and obey [the ruler] whether he likes it or not, as long as he is not commanded to do a sin. If he is commanded to do a sin, then there is no hearing and no obeying.’ (Bukhari and Muslim)

Please also see:

https://seekersguidance.org/answers/what-is-the-definition-of-an-islamic-country/
https://seekersguidance.org/articles/general-artices/shaykh-emad-effat-revolution-martyr-alazhar/

I pray this helps.

[Ustadh] Farid

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Farid Dingle has completed extensive years of study in the sciences of the Arabic language and the various Islamic Sciences. During his studies, he also earned a CIFE Certificate in Islamic Finance. Over the years, he has developed a masterful ability to craft lessons that help non-Arabic speakers gain a deep understanding of the language. He currently teaches courses in the Arabic Language.

How Do I Deal With a Mother Who Constantly Backbites and Gossips About Family?

Question: How should we treat our mother in the following situation? When I am talking to her, usually she spends most of the time complaining about her grandchildren on my sister-in-law or my brother or my father. I try to steer her to another topic, but she ends up going back to complaining or backbiting or gossiping. Sometimes I just put the phone down and let her rant without listening, checking every 30 seconds or so until she is finished.

Answer: Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. Alhamdulillah, it truly is a blessing that you have hatred in your heart towards backbiting, especially in this holy month, and that you want to help her change. Your concern is a gift in and of itself.

Help her change

The best thing that you can do is to help your mother change to become a better person. This will make her more beloved to Allah and those around her. Start with telling her, before she starts ranting, about a recent book that you might have read about the Prophet’s life, about the enormities of the tongue, about the great blessings in keeping silent. If you tell her often enough, she will start to listen, by the grace of Allah.

Tactics

In addition, you can try different tactics like changing the subject, keep bringing up your favorite topics, finding her a hobby or pastime, sending her recorded lessons that she can relate to and listen to, and if she really starts ranting, tell her that you need to go. You can also defend your siblings and tell your mom that nobody is perfect, and it doesn’t really help to complain. Tell her that the negativity will affect her health, and you don’t want her to get sick or stressed out.

Ask Allah

As with anything, ask Allah to help you and supplicate to Him to help you steer yourself and your family away from the Hellfire. He will certainly listen, and you’ll gradually see improvement. Work on yourself as well, and be sure to understand the enormities of the tongue and its repercussions. Knowledge is a light, and it can be spread to others; I pray that Allah gives you success with your sincere intention with your mother. May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

See:  https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/constitutes-slander-backbiting-avoid/

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

How Can Love Be a Sin Even if It Is Between Two People of the Same Gender?

Question: I have a question regarding homosexuality. I am just wondering how can love (of any kind) be a sin? I read that some Islamic scholars nowadays are trying to find in the Quran if there are some signs that it is only the homosexual lust that is punishable, not the homosexual love. Could that possibly be true? If not, please explain to me how love can be a sin, as we can see many people in the world are in love with the same sex.

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. That which you ask about are two different things in my mind.

True Love

There is nothing in and of itself impermissible about love. As a matter of fact, my teachers taught me that the heart craves love, and man will spend all his life trying ways to fill the heart with different things, but really only the love of Allah can fill it, as that is what it was created for. Please read this answer about true, intense love by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani:
https://seekersguidance.org/articles/featured-articles/ten-steps-to-allah-step-4-love-allah/

Types of love

Loving another falls into many categories; a few among them are: A) Loving someone that you can be with, such as a spouse, or B) loving someone that you can’t be with, such as a non-mahram or person of the same gender, usually termed lust. C) Loving the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace and his family and companions for their rank with Allah and for teaching us our religions. These are just a few, but the important difference between these is that we distinguish which love brings us benefit.
https://seekersguidance.org/articles/featured-articles/love-for-lady-fatima-habib-umar/
https://seekersguidance.org/articles/prophet-muhammad/allow-your-emotions-to-be-elevated-habib-umar/

Actions and feelings

Because the shari`ah governs actions and not feelings, one should pay the most heed to one’s actions, which will help make the feelings gradually fade. One must be careful to guide one’s heart to refrain and withdraw from what might lead one to the impermissible and allow its love to flourish in what is permissible. If one was to allow one’s lustful feelings to grow unchecked and not consider that they could overpower one and turn into action, one has been deluded by the Devil. If this were to occur, the doors of mercy would still be open to one through repentance.

Homosexuality

I haven’t heard anything about what you described in your question about love and lust from the Qur’an, but the rulings are clear. A person would do well to push away his desires, whether for the same gender or in an illicit heterosexual relationship, with help and support if necessary to fulfill Allah’s commands. As such, love is not sinful, but rather one’s acting on it illicitly would be. One’s reward would be infinite, and one’s pain and suffering would not be lost on Allah. Please see this link for more info:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/tackling-homosexual-feelings-supplication-repentance-and-going-cold-turkey/

Allah, Most High, says, “If you avoid the major sins forbidden to you, We will absolve you of your ˹lesser˺ misdeeds and admit you into a place of honor.“ [Qur’an, 4:31]

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next and grant you a love after which you will want for nothing else.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Was It Disrespectful To Ask My Absent Father Why He Looks for Us?

Question: One parent has tried hard to raise us, but the other parent abandoned us and did unspeakable, sometimes criminal things. That parent comes to see us occasionally but then verbally abuses the present parent. The other day, I asked the visiting parent, “Why are you looking for us? You abandoned us…“. My present parent says that I have a right to ask why the other parent is looking for us, considering I suffered a lot. I always try not to be rude at all, but I worry. Was that sentence disrespectful?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. You must have truly suffered, having had a single parent raise you and then listen to this verbal abuse. May Allah raise your rank and give you much good.

Respect

Respecting parents is a Qur’anic injunction, regardless of what kind of people the parents are. Although one must protect oneself from even a harmful parent, one is not allowed to be disrespectful. Allah, Most High, has told us, “For your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And honor your parents. If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never say to them ˹even˺ ‘ugh,’ nor yell at them. Rather, address them respectfully.“ [Qur’an, 17:23]

High standard

The morally high standard of respect that you see in the verse above tells us that one should not even utter a word of disrespect to them, let alone a whole question that might seem rude. Although I am not belittling your suffering at all, nor am I claiming that your pain doesn’t count, I feel that your question to your parent might have been rude.

Repentance

Don’t let this eat you up, but rather, make repentance and ask Allah to guide you to treat your parent the same way you would like to be treated when you are a parent. See if you can work on your relationship with the parent for a source of healing in the long run. See these links for more info:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/will-allah-forgive-someone-who-i-forgive-for-wronging-me/
https://seekersguidance.org/articles/quran-articles/serve-parents-now-late/

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Is it permissible to use Non-food Products that contain animal-derived ingredients or Alcohol?

Question Summary

Is it permissible to use Non-food Products that contain animal-derived ingredients or Alcohol? such as paint,shampoo,soap,toothpaste,makeup etc..

Question Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

You will find the answer you’re looking for in the following link:

https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/a-guide-for-consuming-various-meats-foods-alcohol-animal-by-product-ingredients-and-cosmetics/

Hope this helps
Allah knows best
[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Yusuf Weltch is a teacher of Arabic, Islamic law, and spirituality. After accepting Islam in 2008, he then completed four years at the Darul Uloom seminary in New York, where he studied Arabic and the traditional sciences. He then traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he stayed for three years studying in Dar Al-Mustafa under some of the greatest scholars of our time, including Habib Umar Bin Hafiz, Habib Kadhim al-Saqqaf, and Shaykh Umar al-Khatib. In Tarim, Shaykh Yusuf completed the memorization of the Qur’an and studied beliefs, legal methodology, hadith methodology, Quranic exegesis, Islamic history, and some texts on spirituality. He joined the SeekersGuidance faculty in the summer of 2019.

Is it permissible for Muslim women to wear makeup? If so, when is it allowed? What does Islam say about makeup?

Question Summary

Is it permissible for Muslim women to wear makeup? If so, when is it allowed? What does Islam say about makeup?

Question Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

It is permissible for a Muslim woman to wear makeup. In fact, in some circumstances, she may be rewarded for doing so. This ruling applies in the following circumstances:

1) Adorning Herself Privately, Not Publically

It is permissible and rewarding for a woman to adorn herself with her spouse. The inverse is also true. It is also permissible for her to adorn herself in a gathering where no non-mahram (marriageable) men are present.

2) The Makeup Does Not Prevent the Validity of Her Wudu/Ghusl

Some makeup acts as a preventative barrier for water in the washing of the wudu/ghusl. This is still within the bounds of permissibility when a woman cannot pray or remove the makeup before the next wudu/ghusl for prayer.

What is Prohibited?

It is prohibited for a woman to wear makeup that is customarily used to beautify herself if done in public or the presence of non-mahram men.

Anti-aging products and makeup meant solely to conceal flaws are not necessarily prohibited because they are not customarily used for beautification, rather a concealment. However, caution dictates that a Muslim woman should still avoid this type of makeup when going in public or before non-mahram men.

Allah Most High commands Muslim women saying, “Settle in your homes, and do not display yourselves as women did in the days of ˹pre-Islamic˺ ignorance. Establish prayer, pay alms-tax, and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah only intends to keep ˹the causes of˺ evil away from you and purify you completely, O  members of the ˹Prophet’s˺ family!” [Qur’an; 33:33]

In pre-Islamic Arabia (known as the time of ignorance), women would adorn themselves with makeup and perfume in public and act flirtatiously and/or seductively before the opposite gender. This is prohibited and forbidden directly by the Qur’an and Prophetic teachings.

Hope this helps
Allah knows best
[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Yusuf Weltch is a teacher of Arabic, Islamic law, and spirituality. After accepting Islam in 2008, he then completed four years at the Darul Uloom seminary in New York, where he studied Arabic and the traditional sciences. He then traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he stayed for three years studying in Dar Al-Mustafa under some of the greatest scholars of our time, including Habib Umar Bin Hafiz, Habib Kadhim al-Saqqaf, and Shaykh Umar al-Khatib. In Tarim, Shaykh Yusuf completed the memorization of the Qur’an and studied beliefs, legal methodology, hadith methodology, Quranic exegesis, Islamic history, and some texts on spirituality. He joined the SeekersGuidance faculty in the summer of 2019.

How Do I Tell My Family That I Won’t Join Their Family Business but Wish To Marry, Work, and Settle Abroad?

Question: I am about to graduate from my university soon, and my family wants me to join the family business. I don’t want to do that; instead, I want to get married and go abroad for my masters and try to settle there with my wife. My family does not know about my intention to marry (they might disagree), but they know about my intention to go abroad. I have known the girl I want to marry for four years now, and we have been waiting for this time to marry finally.

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for safeguarding your religion and for taking steps to be independent.

Decisions

As a male, you do not require your family’s permission to marry whom you want, go abroad, work abroad or settle abroad. But with this independence and freedom comes responsibility and wisdom. Please pray istikhara about your decisions first to make sure they are the right decisions for you. Are you choosing this girl for her religion? How will living in a different country affect your religious life and your future children? Please see this link:
https://seekersguidance.org/tag/choosing-a-spouse/

Reflect on this Prophet saying and always intend to take care of them, however best you can. Abu Ad-Darda’ said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, ‘(Honoring) one’s father may lead one to enter through the best of the gates of Paradise, so take care of your parents, (it is so, whether you take care of them) or not.‘“  [Ibn Maja]

Tact

You must be polite, kind, and respectful to your parents when you explain what you desire. You must try to come to some compromise of visiting them when you can, and perhaps sending them money regularly if viable. You should introduce the girl and her family to your parents properly, sit down, and discuss the matter without any anger or compulsion. Please don’t force your decisions down their throats but explain your reasons. Convincing them that your decisions are best for you is the most tactful way you can do it. Also, do tell them soon so they have time to digest your announcements.

Please see these answers in full about balancing your parents’ rights with your needs:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/abandon-life-build-abroad-take-care-parents/
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/leave-parents-allow-wife-house/

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Should I Pray To Get Into an Ivy League University Even Though My Parents Don’t Want Me To Go?

Should I Pray To Get Into an Ivy League University Even Though My Parents Don’t Want Me To Go?

Question: I would love to go to Cambridge University as I have a chance to get in. It would be a dream, but my parents don’t want that. When I first broached the subject, they got emotional, and I don’t want to displease them. My parents would prefer that I helped them by being in a nearby university. If I go to Cambridge, I can make better money and help out because we are a working-class family. Can I make dua to change their mind, or is that disrespectful to my parents’ wish? Is there anything I can do?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. Truly it isn’t easy coming to a respectful balance between your wishes and your parents’ wishes. I pray that you make the best decision together and that you achieve your goal or even better.

University

To live away from home and attend the university you want, you would need your father’s permission. Although it might seem impossible, I think that you should openly talk to your father about it, alone, and see how he feels. I know many students are pleasantly surprised when they sit down with their parents and end up with a positive reaction. You could also ask him to pray istikhara and talk to other parents whose daughters went away to school. Consulting with others is a sunnah in our religion, and there is much good to be found from it. If he ends up being convinced, you could then both talk to your mother.

Du`a

Your supplications are a personal and intimate conversation between you and Allah, Most High. You can and should pour your heart out to Him and ask Him what you wish. Asking for something that goes against your parents’ desires is not disrespectful, but rather, you are putting the decision in Allah’s hands, irrespective of what you or your parents want. You are showing complete submission to what He decides for you, and you are putting your trust in Him. Supplicating to your Lord will only make your servanthood grow and increase your faith and trust in Him, so never hesitate to supplicate for what you want. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, told us, “Supplication is the essence of worship.” [Tirmidhi]

Please see this link for more information on the etiquette of du`a.
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/islamic-belief/reality-etiquettes-supplication-reader/

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

  Should I continue to fast after breaking it?

Question:  Assalamualaikum, I needed some clarification on the ruling of fasting. I was reading the “Complete Guide to Fasting” but was a bit confused on a matter. Under the header “Category 2: Acts That Vitiate the Fast & Require to Make Up But Do Not Require Expiation.” When someone’s fast is vitiated, does that mean that one should break their fast? Or complete the fast as is, but also make it up at a later date?

Answer:
In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,

Assalam’aleykum, I pray this finds you in the best of states.

Jazakum Allah khayr for your question!

It is necessary (wajib) to continue to abstain from eating, drinking, and having sexual relations the rest of the day for someone who has vitiated his fast. [ Nur al-Idah]

The reason for this is to allow for the wrongdoer to show respect to the month of Ramadan to the extent of his ability. [ Maraqi al-Falah]

And Allah knows best.

May  Allah Most High grant you the best of this world and the next.

Please keep us in your du’as!

Wassalam

[Ustadh] Sufyan Qufi

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Fast and swallowing water

Question:  It was about 2 and a half minutes before Fajr time, so I rushed to brush my teeth and wash my face. After washing my face for the last time, I rinsed my mouth and gargled the water to make sure there was no food. I believe I also swallowed some water. I left the bathroom, checked my phone, and saw it was time for Fajr. After this, I was wondering whether or not my fast was invalidated?

Answer:
In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,

Assalam’aleykum, I pray this finds you in the best of states.

Jazakum Allah khayr for your question!

No, your fast was not invalidated because you were unsure whether or not you have swallowed water at all in the first place and because even if you had swallowed water, you were unsure whether or not this swallowing happened after the entering of the Fajr time.

“Certainty is not lifted by a doubt.”

[Ibn Nujaym, al-Ashbah wa’l Nadha’ir; Majallat al-Ahkam al-`Adiliyya]

This means that if one is certain about something, such as the validity of our worship, with this being the basic assumption for all human actions, then we will keep assuming it valid until certain that it was not. Mere possibilities and even likelihoods do not change this.

And Allah knows best.

May  Allah Most High grant you the best of this world and the next. Please keep us in your du’as!

Wassalam

[Ustadh] Sufyan Qufi

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani