Being with Allah in the Smooth and the Rough

Question: We know that we turn to Allah more during difficult times. But how do we turn to Him when things are easy?

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Dear questioner,

Thank you for your important question.

‘Watch out for Allah, and Allah will watch out for you. Get to know Allah in good times, and He will know you in hard times.’ (Ahmad and others)

This means that if we are careful to fulfill that which Allah wants from us, He will help us when most need it.

One way to “get to know Allah” is to express your need to Him before it really hits. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, ‘Whoever wants Allah to answer his prayers when hard times come and afflictions hit, let him pray much (dua) when times are easy.’ (Tirmidhi)

Getting to know Him means finding where you really are in relation to Him. It means learning to appreciate how much He is involved in your daily life and how much you need him.

Another way this is done is by thanking Him for the blessings that we currently enjoy. As the saying goes, whoever does not appreciate something risks losing it.

In this way, one can get to know Him and remember Him in good times and bad times. For those who have developed a deep relationship with Allah, those who see everything in their life as coming directly from their cherishing and loving lord, there are only good times.

I pray this helps.

[Ustadh] Farid

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Farid Dingle has completed extensive years of study in the sciences of the Arabic language and the various Islamic Sciences. During his studies, he also earned a CIFE Certificate in Islamic Finance. Over the years he has developed a masterful ability to craft lessons that help non-Arabic speakers gain a deep understanding of the language. He currently teaches courses in the Arabic Language

My Father Looks At Pornography

Question: Growing up, my father watching porn created fights between my parents. My mom despised it especially when we would find out. My father asked me to set some things up for the house via the Internet on his phone. In doing so, I saw several disturbing porn pages that were open. This isn’t the first time, I’m just not sure if I should confront my father or tell my mother. I feel bad knowing that he is still hiding such things but I don’t want to create problems, I also feel uncomfortable in confronting him. Please advise on how to handle this situation.

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. It truly is a disturbing thing to see what you have seen, but truly wise and mature of you not to fall into the same unlawful habit. I praise you for this and pray that you can continue on the same path of piety when so much of humanity is hooked on this addiction

Enjoining good and forbidding evil

Islam commands Muslim to enjoin good and forbid evil according to certain criteria, please see them here and act accordingly:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/the-criteria-of-enjoining-good-and-forbidding-evil/

Bring him good company and keep him busy

One of the best things that you can do is to find good company for your father. Introduce him to scholars, influential people, other religious elders, your friend’s parents and invite them over for dhikr, Qur’an recitation, or just dinner.

In addition, try to help keep him busy with good things. Ask him to take you to the mosque, or for some other outing to bond with you. Ask him to spend time in nature with you. Suggest that he take up some form of exercise or better yet, volunteer for charity.

If you confront him

You may or may not choose to confront him, according to the criteria above, but if you do, make it sweet and short. You would be surprised how even one sentence can get someone thinking or shame them into changing their ways.

If he does not change, remember that “no soul bears the burden of another” [Qur’an, 35:18]. He is an adult and must face his own account on the Day of Judgment. Intend to try to help him, respectfully and effectively, but hand the matter over to Allah, for only He can change hearts.

Your mother

As for your mother, it is not obligatory for you to tell her, but do pray istikhara about it. Sometimes, if a man cannot help himself, his family needs to help him. If you did tell your mother, your intention would be to help him and work with your mother to encourage him to stop and to support him. You shouldn’t tell anyone else.

Please see this excellent advice for your topic as well:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/my-father-watches-pornography-what-shall-i-do/
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/father/

May Allah reward you and help you support your father. Your sincerity and willingness to help will not go unrewarded, by the grace of Allah.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Will Certain Etiquettes During Intercourse Shape One’s Future Children?

Question: 1. Is it true that if a couple talks during intimacy, their child will be born deaf or dumb? 2. Is it true that if a man looks at the private part of his wife during intercourse,  it will weaken the eyesight and memory of the husband? Or will the child have a vision problem? Or will the child be born to be immodest? 3. Can you help me understand this hadith: “When one of you goes in unto his wife, let him be covered, for if he is not covered, the angels feel shy and depart, then if they have a child, the Shayţān will have a share of him.” [al-Tabarānī in al-Mu’jam al-Awsaţ] 4. it is permissible for a male (married or unmarried) to do exercises where he touches his private part to increase its size? Is there any leniency regarding this provided he takes measures to avoid falling into sin?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. First, I want to commend you for openly asking about these bedroom issues. One should not be too shy to ask such things for this is the only way to attain correct knowledge in order to practice it and keep away from sin.

Speaking and looking at the wife during intercourse

1-2. The answer to your first two questions is no, these are simply myths or old wive’s tales.

Hadith about covering oneself

3. The hadith that you mention is weak, so one cannot derive a ruling of lawful or unlawful from this. Please see Shaykh Faraz’s advice on modesty during intercourse at this link:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/allowed-completely-naked-intercourse/

Exercises to increase the size

4. It is not permissible for a man to touch his private part if it will cause an ejaculation. A man should not waste his time doing this nor be preoccupied with thinking about the size of his private part. A man’s private part has nothing to do with how much he can please his wife.

Skills first, not the size

Rather, he should focus on being attentive and learning skills (in having her reach the climax) more than his size. Foreplay is key and the precursor to this is having a loving, kind marriage with mutual friendship and understanding.

May Allah bless your marriage and progeny and give you success and happiness in this world and the next.

Please see this link as well:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/sexual-practices-permissible-islam/

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

How To Deal With a Dua Made Against You

Question: What should I do if my husband prayed to Allah that my daughter and I die?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I am very sorry that you are under such stress from your own husband. I pray that you can both resolve your issues and treat each other with kindness, protection and love.

Du’a against one another

It is unseemly, unlawful, and contrary to the Prophetic sunna that Muslims make du’a against one another. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace, would hesitate to pray against his very enemies, let alone his companions and family members. Please see this link:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/islamic-belief/are-there-prohibited-duas/

Do not fear anyone’s du`a against you, for Allah chooses to answer what He wills and He does not abandon His pious servants. Rather, only fear Allah regarding your husband’s rights, for that, is the only thing that can harm you on the Day of Judgment, not his du`as.

Rectify your marriage

Every marriage requires help, guidance, knowledge, and determination in order to succeed. No matter how long you have been married, you will benefit from taking one of these courses:
https://seekersguidance.org/courses/marriage-in-islam-practical-guidance-for-successful-marriage/
https://seekersguidance.org/courses/keys-to-successful-muslim-marriages-practical-lessons-that-explain-the-prophetic-spirit-of-marriage/

Do your utmost to rectify your relationship with him and return his hate with kindness and respect. Continuous service, help, kindness, cleanliness, fresh food, hard work, and not complaining, arguing, or nagging will eventually win his love and respect and these ridiculous negative du`as will stop.

Please see this link as well for excellent advice:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/my-mother-makes-dua-against-me-will-her-duas-be-accepted/

May Allah give you tawfiq and bless you both to treat each other as a garment and live in tranquility together.

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Is It Permissible to Wear Watches That Have Small Amounts of Gold in Them?

Question:

Assalamu ‘alaykum.
Watches are usually made out of stainless steel, resin, or even titanium but inside the watch there are some parts made out of small amounts of gold. The gold is used as a good conductor of electricity in the circuit boards. Our computers and phones also are made like that as well. 

Are they permissible to use?

Answer:

Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

Indirect Usage of Instruments With Some Gold Is Permissible

In short, yes, it is permissible to use electronics and watches that have very small amounts of gold or silver in them – provided the usage does not entail direct contact with the person. So a watch with a casing or strap made of gold or silver is impermissible to wear.

As opposed to the small amount of gold used in the circuitry of phones, for example, for its conductive qualities, because there is no direct contact with it. One simply holds the outer casing of the phone which is made of metals and glass (Nahlawi, al Durar al Mubaha, Haskafi al Durr al Mukhtar, Ibn ‘Abidin, Radd al Muhtar).

Direct Usage of Gold is Impermissible

Using utensils or other instruments that are made fully of gold or silver is not permitted. This is a test for the believers in this life, and they will be rewarded with an abundance of it in the next life.

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Don’t drink from cups of gold and silver and don’t eat from their utensils, because they are for them – the disbelievers – in this life and for you in the Afterlife” (Bukhari).

May Allah grant you the best of both worlds.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with many erudite scholars. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Quranic recital and he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Quranic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.

Does The Qu’ran Imply The Permissibility To Sleep With Little Girls?

Question:

Assalamu ‘alaykum.

Does verse 65:4 of the Qur’an imply that it’s okay to have sex with little girls? For example, if a contract was issued with a 3-year-old girl, does this verse imply its okay to consummate with her?

Answer: Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

The Qur’an Does Not Permit Harming Others

The short answer is: no, the Qur’an does not imply that it is okay to sleep with little girls. Such an act would be harmful to this child on many levels – physically, mentally, and emotionally, as she would not be ready to process this experience. There would also be a likelihood of physically harming her severely.

Such a notion comes to people’s minds when they project the lowest practices and morals of their culture onto the Qur’an without understanding it on its own terms. We’ve discussed this at great length in this lesson and the next lesson on this topic. I advise you to listen to both for a full understanding.

What Does the Verse Refer To?

The verse was translated by Dr. Mustafa Khattab as follows:

“As for your women past the age of menstruation, in case you do not know, their waiting period is three months, and those who have not menstruated as well…” (Qur’an, 65:4).

This verse gives us the ruling for the ‘idda period for ladies who do not have menstrual cycles, either due to them having passed the menopause, or them not having started their menstrual cycles. This can refer to someone in their teens too, and in many pre-modern cultures marrying young was the norm.

There were no societal expectations of finishing school, getting a degree, or pursuing higher education. Marriage was normal at younger ages. This is all discussed in detail in the lessons above.

In any case, a marriage could not be consummated if there was any chance of harming the wife. So the projected ideas you’ll find on the internet don’t apply.

Don’t Entertain Information Which is Inaccurate

The internet is a place where you will come across a lot of information about Islam, and not all of it is accurate. It’s a terrible idea to listen to the arguments against Islam that many people present. Usually, they are inaccurate, biased, and decontextualized. This fills people with doubts.

Engage with what will benefit you and deepen your faith. May Allah facilitate the matter for you.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with many erudite scholars. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Quranic recital and he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Quranic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.

Was Adam Meant To Be Immortal In Paradise?

Question: Assalamu ‘alaykum.

1) The Qur’an 7:20 states that Satan tempted Adam through the promise of immortality, so was Adam not already immortal in heaven?

2) The Qur’an 20:119 says that Adam will not be hot from the sun, does this again imply that there is a sun in heaven or Adam was created in another location?

Answer:

Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh,

I pray you are well.

Was Adam Immortal in Paradise?

No, he was not. In fact, the Qur’an clearly states that he was created to be khalifa on Earth (Qur’an, 2:30). He was placed in Paradise to teach him the nature of the Devil and his deceptiveness. Adam was aware of his mortality.

Was There a Sun in Paradise?

No, there was not a sun in Paradise. Nor was Adam actually in another location. Rather, the verses in question express that Adam was told he could live a life that did not have the discomforts that life on Earth had.  “Indeed, not being hungry nor naked is yours. You will not be thirsty nor subject to great heat” (Qur’an, 118-119).

Please watch this video and the following one for more details.

May Allah bless you with the best of both worlds.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with many erudite scholars. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Quranic recital and he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Quranic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.

I heard that Imam Malik was Sufi, is that true?

Question: Was Imam Malik (May Allah have mercy on him) a Sufi?

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

In order to answer this question, we must first clarify what you mean by Sufi.

Sufism

Sufism is a term later coined for a meaning that has always been part of our religion. It refers to purification (tazkiya) and spiritual excellence (ihsan).

Imam Ahmad al-Zarruq defines Sufism as sincerely turning to Allah [Zarruq, Qawa’id al-Tasawwuf].

If this is the meaning you intended in your question then Imam Malik (May Allah have mercy on him) was of the elite of the Sufis.

Other Meanings

However, if you mean by Sufi a practitioner or adherent of a specific spiritual path, then that is not easily discernible as the formation of the well-known spiritual paths that are present today came well after the time of Imam Malik.

Imam Malik’s Spiritual State

Imam Malik (Allah have mercy on him) was not only a person of knowledge but of great piety and nearness to Allah and His Messenger (may Allah bless him and give him peace).

It is narrated about Imam Malik that he said, “I never pass through a single night except that I saw the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace)” [Abu Nu’aym, Hilya al-Awliya].


Summary
By the above, it is clear without any doubt, that Imam Malik was a person of purification of the heart (tazkiyya) and spiritual excellence (ihsan) which are what is meant by the word Sufism. Furthermore, Imam Malik was a fervent follower of his teachers and mentors, so with these meanings in mind, yes Imam Malik was a Sufi.If however, by Sufi you mean any other meaning than the above then the answer would depend on your definition of Sufi.All in all, we can say, with certainty, that Imam Malik was of the most righteous of the pious predecessors (May Allah have mercy on him).

See the following link for more clarity on the term Sufi:

Was Sufism Recommended by the Prophet?
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/was-sufism-recommend-by-the-prophet/

Hope this helps
Allah knows best
[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Yusuf Weltch is a graduate from Tarim; a student of Habib Umar and other luminaries; and authorized teachers of the Qur’an and the Islamic sciences

What Should I do If I Forget During the Prayer?

Question: What Should I do If I Forget During the Prostration of Forgetfulness? I’ve been repeating prayers like this constantly and am starting to hate myself but I’m worried if Allah will question me for not repeating my prayer. What should I do?

Answer:

I pray you are well.

Mistakes In the Sujud al Sahw Are Overlooked

If you have made a mistake in the prayer and are performing a forgetfulness prostration to compensate for it, then just complete the two sajdas and end your prayer. If you’re not sure if you’ve done one or two, do another and end your payer.

Mistakes in the forgetfulness prostration are overlooked, and they do not require another forgetfulness prostration, nor a repetition of the prayer (Shurunulali, Maraqi al Falah, Tahtawi, Hashiya Maraqi al Falah).

Learn How to Pray and Fix Mistakes

Please take one of the free courses on the prayer that we offer. That way you’ll learn how to identify mistakes and rectify them. As a general rule, if things in your practice of Islam seem to be getting too difficult you should consult a teacher.

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Indeed, [the practice of] the religion is ease itself” (Bukhari).  So if something seems difficult you may be doing it wrong. You don’t need to make up the prayers. Focus on thanking Allah for this ease that He has placed in the din.

May Allah grant you the best of both worlds.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with many erudite scholars. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Quranic recital and he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Quranic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.

My Dawn Prayer Entered Into the Sunrise

Question: If Fajr ends at 7:45 a.m, and I begin praying at 7:43 and finish at 7:45, is my prayer valid?

Answer: Yes, your dawn (fajr) prayer is considered valid as for the current performance, according to the Shafi`i school, although you incurred the sin (haram) of praying it partially during sunrise.

If less than one rak’a of one’s prayer occurs within the proper time (A: meaning that one does not lift one’s head from the second prostration of the rak’a before the time ends) and the remainder takes place after it, then the whole prayer is considered a make-up. If one rak’a or more takes place within the prayer’s time and the remainder is after it, then the prayer is considered a current performance, though it is unlawful to intentionally delay the prayer until part of it occurs after the time is finished. [The Reliance of the Traveller, f2.3]

As for the Hanafi school, this answer indicates that your fajr prayer was invalid and has to be made up. Fajr Prayer and Sunrise

I recommend this du’a to you from the Qur`an,

Lord, grant that I and my offspring may keep up the prayer. Our Lord, accept my request. [Qur`an, 14:40]

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.