My Teenage Son Is Not a Good Muslim

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question: Assalamu alaykum

My teenage son is not practicing Islam as his parents are. He doesn’t pray, he avoids wudu, he is into music too much. He listens to us for a few days then goes back to his attitude. He snaps at us, gets angry, and avoids the family. My husband nearly hit him recently because he disrespected me and his sister. We are sorrowful that we don’t have Allah’s blessings in our home. I supplicate to Allah five times a day for him. I read Qur’anic translations to him but he is not interested. How do we bring him back to Islam?

Answer: Assalamu alaykum sister,

Thank you for your question. I empathize with your challenge to make your son understand the importance of praying and being with the family. This world has a way to rope teenagers in, with peer pressure and the desire to try new things and be different.

The absolute best possible advice I can give you is to read this article by Hina Khan-Mukhtar: Parenting: Planting the seeds of prayer in our young ones

It is never too late for a person to change, but keep in mind that children who rebel in their teenage years may need time. They might find their guidance before they are twenty, or perhaps much later.

Your job as a parent is to connect with them emotionally and start bonding with them. After this bond is established, your understanding and respect for each other will increase. You need that respect and love as a stepping stone to start speaking to your son about his religion. This love and respect will also enable him to want to spend time with the family.

Another thing that you should always do is to befriend good religious influential people. Keep them around you and your home. Pray together as a family and avoid the haram in your home as much as possible. Pray on time, cover correctly, pay zakat, don’t ingest anything unlawful and safeguard yourself from backbiting or usury. Take a free course on Seekers to learn your personally obligatory knowledge. These things will ensure that you have barakah in your home no matter what your son is doing.

Never give up on your du`as. Allah hears all that you ask and He will decide what to give you and when. Be patient until then and be kind to him. Also be grateful that he is not involved in much worse things, like drugs or sex.

Please see the links below for more information. May Allah reward you.

How to Counsel a Teenager with Religious Shortcomings?
I Struggle with My Prayers and Am so Worried About My Family Members Who Do Not Pray. What Do I Do?
My Teenager Is Disrespectful and Has No Empathy. What Do I Do?

Wassalam,
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterwards, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Imam Mahdi

Answered by Shaykh Farid Dingle

Question: Assalamu alaykum

How do we know who Imam Mahdi is and what he looks like?

Answer: Bismillahi al-Rahmani al-Rahim.

Dear questioner,

Thank you for your valued question.

The Mehdi will be a man of the descendants of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) who will have a pronounced forehead and a hooked nose. He will fill the earth with justice and will rule for seven years. (Ahmad, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Ibn Hibban and Hakim) His name will be Muhammad and his father’s name with be Abdullah. (Ahmad, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Tabarani, Ibn Hibban, Hakim)

He will come before the Dajjal and before Sayyidna Isa.

Although it is nice to know how to identify the Mehdi, it is much more important that he will identify us as true Muslims when he comes. This means that we should busy ourselves with learning and applying the basics of our religion, and make sure that all the creases in our spiritual lives are ironed out before he comes.

I pray this helps.

Wassalam,
[Shaykh] Farid Dingle

Shaykh Farid Dingle grew up in a convert family in Herefordshire, UK. In 2007, he moved to Jordan to pursue traditional studies. Shaykh Farid continues to live in Amman, Jordan with his wife and kids. In addition to continuing his studies he teaches Arabic and several of the Islamic sciences.

Shaykh Farid began his journey in sacred knowledge with intensives in the UK and Jordan (2004) in Shafi’i fiqh and Arabic. After years of studying Arabic grammar, Shafi’i fiqh, hadith, legal methodology (usul al-fiqh) and tafsir, Sh. Farid began specializing in Arabic language and literature. Sh. Farid studied Pre-Islamic poetry, Umayyad, Abbasid, Fatimid, and Andalusian literature. He holds a BA in Arabic Language and Literature and continues exploring the language of the Islamic tradition.

In addition to his interest in the Arabic language Shaykh Farid actively researches matters related to jurisprudence (fiqh) which he studied with Shaykh Hamza Karamali, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, and continues with Shaykh Amjad Rasheed. 

Fulfilling the Sexual Needs of the Husband

Answered by Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan

Question: Assalam alaykum,

My friend is a convert woman, doubting about Islam, because her husband keeps reminding her of this hadith: Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses [and does not come], and he spends the night angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.”

I need some fiqh-related rulings on this topic, because what is the limit, can a husband call his wife 3-5 times a day (this is her case)?

Answer: Wa alaykum salam

Thank you for writing to us.

In short, Islam honours and respect women. Further, no soul is under an obligation to do that which it cannot bear. Allah, High and Mighty, said in the Quran, “Allah does not obligate anyone beyond his capacity” [2:286]

Accordingly, the sister is only under an obligation to fulfill the sexual needs of her husband within her capacity. If she is ill, weak or experiences any pain, she is not obligated according all scholars. Also, the husband should have mercy towards his wife, knowing that the best of husbands, peace be upon him, said that “the best of you, are those who are best to their wives.” He should also know, that a successful marriage is one where spouses, at times, forego rights and not demand them. Finally, as a possible solution, it is permissible for a wife to fulfil the husband’s desires without conjugal relations. By way of example, Islam permits a wife to bring her husband to a climax by the usage of her hands and Allah knows best.

Given that the hadith of Abu Hurayra quoted in your question has been the cause of much discussion and debate. And that in a recent incident at an Islamic seminary in our community, a feminist not only criticised the hadith, but also mocked it to the extent that she made the audience laugh at it, the current author felt the need to discuss the narration in light of the following:

Authenticity

The hadith has been transmitted by both Imam Bukhari and Imam Muslim. There is virtually consensus among the scholars that narrations contained in sahih compilations of Bukhari and Muslim are all authentic. Like many other scholars, Imam Nawawi takes the view, in his Tahdhib al-Asma wa al-Lugat, that there is consensus on this point. However, a minority of scholars have challenged it.

Nevertheless, none of the traditional scholars have taken issue with this hadith of Abu Hurayra. In addition, as this answer sets out to demonstrate, scholars of the modern era who have taken issue with it have done so either because they do not understand, or because they are unwilling to understand, the words of the Messenger, peace be upon him.

Finally, it is absurd to discard the system and methodology adopted by the early scholars to determine the authenticity of narrations. Their systematic thoroughness in verifying and vilifying hadith narrators, their almost obsessive diligence in distinguishing the reliable from the unreliable, their efforts to preserve what they received and their scrupulousness in transmitting it unaltered, is unmatched. The Manhaj al-Naqd of the late Dr M. M. Azami (may Allah elevate his status, amin) is amongst the masterpieces that discuss this reality at length.

Islamic Law and the welfare of societies

Allah, High and Mighty, alone knows what is best for His creation. He alone knows where their welfare lies. In order to bring about the welfare of all creatures – human beings and even animals – Allah sent Prophets and revealed Scriptures containing His Law. The final Messenger and Seal of all Prophets is our Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. Allah revealed the Quran to him. His actions, utterances and approvals, tacit or otherwise, served as an explanation of the Quran. Allah said about him, peace be upon him, “And he (the Prophet, peace be upon him) does not speak from [his own] inclination (3) It is (his utterances) but revelation revealed (4)”.

Accordingly, the companions, the successors and those who followed them went to great lengths to preserve whatever emanated from him, peace be upon him, as he was a source of our Sacred Law, the only legal system that is able to establish world peace and order. All oppression on the face of the earth, whether great or small, originates from humanity steering away from this legal system, the system of Muhammad, peace be upon him.

The meaning of the hadith

Scholars are in agreement that when the husband requires sexual gratification from his wife, she is obliged to fulfil his need. The meaning of the hadith, when taken at face value, may seem to suggest that our law, or the Prophet, peace be upon him, does not consider women and their interests. However, the real problem is the unwillingness of some people to try to understand the Prophet, peace be upon him.

If the ways and the character of the Prophet, peace be upon him, as well as his concern for women, are understood properly, conclusions such as this would never be reached. Throughout history, there has never been a person who has championed the cause of justice and fairness to women like Muhammad did, peace be upon him. When the world treated women with disrespect and considered them inferior, Muhammad, peace be upon him, defended their rights. Women were very badly treated in Christian Europe and in Persia. For instance, they were excluded from decision-making. In addition, all menstruating women were not allowed to bathe with their husbands or sleep in the same room as them. Neither were they allowed to eat at the same table or use the same utensils as them. Muhammad, peace be upon him, on the other hand, established their honour. He, peace be upon him, respected his wives – he raced them in the desert, he bathed with them, he ate and drank from their left-over food and drink, and he sought their counsel on the most serious of matters. He said, “The best of you are those who are best to their wives, and I am best to my wives”.

So how should we understand the hadith in light of the ways of this merciful, loving and kind Prophet?

Firstly, a wife only has a duty to to fulfil her husband’s sexual needs if she has no valid excuse. [Fath al-Bari] If she is ill, in pain or weak, she is excused from this obligation. Consequently, in regard to the original question, the sister is only obliged to offer her husband sexual relations if she is not harmed and does not experience pain or weakness. All scholars are in agreement on this.

Secondly, Allah and His Messenger, peace be upon him, do not want women to be cursed. It is ludicrous to suggest the contrary, as the feminist referred to above has done. One of the objectives of marriage is that each spouse must protect the other’s chastity. The western ideology that a woman should be free to engage in sexual relations with her husband and to refrain when she wishes and desires to do so is a defective one. This is illustrated by the widespread adultery present in western societies. I am not suggesting that this is the only reason for adultery, but it is certainly one of the primary ones. The ruling in the hadith thus has at its core the interests of women and the preservation of their marriages.

Similar to this is the narration where he, peace be upon him, said the angels curse the wife who sleeps at night while her husband is angry with her. Outwardly, to those who do not try to understand the wisdom of our law, it appears to wrong women. However, the reality is that the Messenger, peace be upon him, knew that men by nature forgive and overlook quickly, while women find this difficult. The consequence of a woman sleeping at night without reconciling with her husband, especially if this is repeated night after night and week after week, is that the couple begin to grow apart. In due course, if this continues, they become so distant from one another that they are no longer attached to each other and become incapable of having a decent conversation. This is one of the most common challenges in contemporary marriages. The Prophet, peace be upon him, did not want the wife to be cursed; he wanted to encourage her to preserve her marriage and to learn how to reconcile and communicate with her husband daily, so that her marriage does not become one where she feels alone and unhappy.

Thirdly, hadith commentators mention that cursing refers to “distancing from Divine Mercy.” The wisdom of the warning is to avoid harm in one’s life, relations, and religion–and to preserve the good.

Fourthly, though not clearly referenced in hadith, men are also under an obligation to fulfil the wife’s sexual needs. Thus the matter is one where spouses assist each other in maintaining their chastity. This further emphasises the fairness and justice of Allah’s Law.

And Allah knows best

Wassalam
[Shaykh] Abdurragmaan Khan

Shaykh Abdurragmaan
received ijazah ’ammah from various luminaries, including but not restricted to: Habib Umar ibn Hafiz—a personality who affected him greatly and who has changed his relationship with Allah, Maulana Yusuf Karaan—the former Mufti of Cape Town; Habib ‘Ali al-Mashhur—the current Mufti of Tarim; Habib ‘Umar al-Jaylani—the Shafi‘i Mufti of Makkah; Sayyid Ahmad bin Abi Bakr al-Hibshi; Habib Kadhim as-Saqqaf; Shaykh Mahmud Sa’id Mamduh; Maulana Abdul Hafiz al-Makki; Shaykh Ala ad-Din al-Afghani; Maulana Fazlur Rahman al-Azami and Shaykh Yahya al-Gawthani amongst others.

Guidance on the Coronavirus & Attending the Mosque

Answered by Shaykh Salman Younas

Question: Would it be permissible to not go to congregational prayers (including Friday prayer) due to the spread of disease such as Coronavirus. Likewise, if your mother wishes for you to not go to congregational prayers due to the worry of getting infected what should you do?

Answer: assalamu alaykum

The basis is that if there is reasonable fear of contracting this illness or spreading it in a specific location by going to such public gatherings, one must not go.

Given the current situation and guidelines provided by organisations like WHO (The World Health Organization), the approach being advised is, however, rightly one of excessive precaution. This means you should not go to the mosque (including Friday prayer) if:

(a) You have flu-like symptoms, even if minor,
(b) You have been around people who have flu-like symptoms, even if minor,
(c) You are in an area where the authorities have strongly advised against attending public gatherings, or have temporarily banned such gatherings [Note: In certain places, governments are very slow to respond and their information out-of-date or underestimates owing to a lack of sufficient testing and resources. All the while, confirmed cases of coronavirus continue to rise. One should always use his or her own independent and reasonable judgment and avoid public gatherings especially if there are signs of community spread of the virus in one’s area.]
(d) Reliable health experts in your locale have strongly advised the implementation of social distancing policies to curb the spread of the disease.
(e) You fit the description of those who the authorities have advised to enter self-isolation, such as people who have recently visited countries where the risk of coronavirus is high (China, Italy, Iran, Japan, etc.).
(f) You are an elderly person or someone with underlying health condition, especially if in an area where there are, or likely to be, cases of infection.

The need to avoid public gatherings, including the mosque, is even more pressing if one is in close contact with elderly people at home or elsewhere since they are particularly vulnerable to this disease, which spreads largely unnoticed. The responsibility of every individual Muslim is not simply to protect himself from harm, but also not being a cause of harm to others.

Therefore, it should be noted that while highly meritorious to pray in the mosque, the confirmed sunna for the general congregational prayers (besides the Friday prayer) is simply to pray in congregation – whether at home or elsewhere. Given current developments and the way events are unfolding, it would be firmly advised that one temporarily avoid attending the mosque for the general congregational prayers even in the absence of the conditions mentioned above.

As for Friday prayer, in the absence of the conditions mentioned above, it would remain ideal to attend. However, even here the potential for harm should be limited as much as possible. This means that women and children should be told to stay home as the Friday prayer is not obligatory upon them. Elderly people and those with underlying health conditions should also be advised the same. Mosques should put in place measures to keep their premises clean and prevent the spread of this disease. For some guidelines on this (specific to the UK), please see the guidance of the BBSI (British Board of Scholars & Imams) by following this link.

Update 1: In regard to point (e), if such a time arises where social distancing is seen as required by experts to curb the spread of this disease, which seems to be the case in many places now, the individual – even if otherwise healthy – should not attend large or concentrated gatherings and events at mosques. The community in this case is exempt from the Friday prayer and people should pray Dhuhr at home. Furthermore, taking into account expert advice and their responsibilities to congregants and the wider community, mosque committees should also seriously & quickly decide on implementing social distancing measures, which is increasingly the advice of numerous health and policy experts and should therefore be heeded. This may entail canceling or severely restricting prayer services for such a duration where the spread of coronavirus can be effectively limited. The exact duration and decisions concerning scaling up or down social distancing measures are best determined in consultation with relevant experts who understand evolving local situations.

[Shaykh] Salman Younas

Shaykh Salman Younas  graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Political Science and Religious Studies. After studying the Islamic sciences online and with local scholars in New York, Ustadh Salman moved to Amman where he spent five years studying Islamic law, legal methodology, belief, hadith methodology, logic, Arabic, and tafsir. He the went on to complete his PhD at the University of Oxford and continues his traditional studies with scholars in the United Kingdom.

My Mother Treats Me Like a Maid

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question: Assalamu alaykum

My mother backbites about one child to the other. She scolds me for my siblings’ mistakes is always rude to me. She is never interested in my important events. There are many helpers in the house, alhamdullilah, so she doesn’t do any housework nor cook. She only gets up to do her daily tasks. I come home tired after work, but she asks me to do all the housework at night because we don’t have a maid at night. I do it but she finds faults in that as well. My other siblings come home tired too, but they can rest or sleep without doing chores. My dad and I do almost everything. Even though I control myself sometimes I shout at her when she interferes with my chores.

Answer: Assalamu alaykum,

I empathize with your difficult situation. Everyone deserves to live with respect and dignity and not be put down or abused. May Allah help you to get out of this situation.

Backbiting

Allah Most High says, “O believers! Avoid many suspicions, ˹for˺ indeed, some suspicions are sinful. And do not spy, nor backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of their dead brother? You would despise that! And fear Allah. Surely Allah is ˹the˺ Accepter of Repentance, Most Merciful.” [Qur’an, 49:12]

And He Most High says, “Woe to whoever disparages others behind their back or to their face.” [Qur’an, 104:1]

Hudhaifa reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “A slanderer will not enter the Garden.” [Bukhari; Muslim]

Ibn ‘Abbas reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) passed by two graves and said, “They are being punished and not for anything very great. One of them did not guard himself against urine and the other was involved in backbiting.” [Bukhari; Muslim]

Please see the following links for a definition of backbiting and what to do when you hear it:
What Constitutes as Slander, Backbiting and How to Avoid It?
What To Do When You Hear Slander and Backbiting

You can’t control it when your mother backbites, but you can control listening to it. When she starts, just change the subject. If you can tell her that you don’t want to listen to slander, judge whether she can respectfully accept that or whether she will get angry. Act accordingly. If she can’t handle your reasoning, just leave the room or change the subject every time she starts. You could also respond to each of her complaints by saying something positive about the person.

Like a maid

You don’t need to accept being treated like a maid. If she genuinely needs help, you can divide your chores throughout the week and do them at your pace, not hers. If you are tired, tell her so. Ask your siblings to get involved in the chores as well, don’t expect your mother to tell them. Explain to your siblings that if you all work together at night, the chores will get done faster.
It is not obligatory for you to do your mother’s chores. Your obligation in Islam is to be kind to her, not to obey her.

Try your best not to shout at her, because it is sinful to disrespect one’s parents. I am not saying that you are unjustified in your anger, but channel your grief and anger into du`a in the last third of the night instead of shouting. Ask Allah to help and send you something better in your life. Perhaps, it is a good time to marry? Ask Allah to facilitate whatever is best for you, and ask Him for `afiyah (relief).

May Allah make it easy for you and give you `afiyah.

Shazia Ahmad

My Parents Humiliate Me Every Day. What Do I Do?
How Do We Deal With Parents Who Emotionally Abuse Their Children?
Dealing With a Dysfunctional Relationship With Parents

Wassalam,
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterwards, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Getting Married During the Month of Rabi al Awal.

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question: Assalamu alaykum

Is it allowed in Islam to get married in the month of Rabi ul awal?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

There is no sin or dislike in getting married during any time of the month of Rabi`ul-Awwal.

May Allah reward you and your family with the best of both worlds.

Wassalam,
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterwards, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Do I Have to Obey My Husband in Everything?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question: Assalamu alaykum

I met an Imam about my bad marriage. He said paradise lies at the foot of the husband and that I must obey him in everything because men are caretakers of women. However, what if he is mistreating the wife, emotionally abusing her, and not fully supporting her financially when able? What if she works full-time and feeds and clothes herself? Does he still have a right to be obeyed? Why is a man’s behavior towards his wife barely discussed, but paradise is still at his feet? This is like slavery. Can he command me to do things such as cooking, cleaning, which are not obligatory in Shafi’i madhab? Can he order me to hop on one foot for an hour? Do we have to obey them only concerning his rights or is it a blanket statement?

Answer: Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I am sorry that you are experiencing problems with your husband, this can cause a lot of frustration and unhappiness. All of this can be rectified with the help of Allah and you asking for sincere guidance on the topic.

Your answer is found here in the following link: Is It Sinful to Disobey to One’s Husband?

In short, obedience to the husband regarding permissible actions is obligatory, whether he is supporting her fully or not. [see link above] A marriage is built on the premise of love, mercy, understanding and aiming to please Allah. Harmony, peace, and aligning yourselves in your relationship is key.

Although this may be difficult to digest, taking the first step to a marriage’s harmony is usually done by the wife. A woman has enough patience, wisdom, sweetness, and smarts to completely change a man.

A marriage should never be about the black and white rules of obedience. These rules should only be brought up when a couple is unable to get along. Then the shari`ah is called upon to settle a dispute between them. Generally speaking, if a woman is kind to her husband and does obey him, he will move mountains for her.

Please take a course on marriage together: Keys to Successful Muslim Marriages: Practical lessons that explain the Prophetic Spirit of Marriage
Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriage

See these answers about marriage:
Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered

And these articles will answer some of your questions as well:

Obedience to the Husband in Mustahab and Makruh Acts

I’m Fearful That Islam Is Causing My Depression. What Can I Do?

Wassalam,
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterwards, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Are Good Deeds Unaccepted If You Don’t Wear Hijab?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question: Assalamu alaykum

I have been struggling with my OCD regarding religion. Alhamdulillah, I am almost recovered completely. However, one question that is taking a toll on me is whether Allah loves me because I do not wear the hijab. This question has made me want to forget everything I have accomplished in my religion because I feel unworthy for not covering my hair. I have stopped wearing skirts and bikinis. I hope to wear the hijab one day. Are any of my good deeds accepted despite not wearing a hijab?

Answer: Assalamu alaykum sister,

Thank you for your question. Allah, Most High, says in His book, “Say, ‘If you love God, follow me, and God will love you and forgive you your sins; God is most forgiving, most merciful.’“ [Qur`an, 3:31]

Also, in a hadith Qudsi, it has been related that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “Allah, the Almighty, and Sublime, said, ‘Whosoever shows enmity to someone devoted to Me, I shall be at war with him. My servant draws not near to Me with anything more loved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him, and My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I shall love him. When I love him I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant him it. I do not hesitate about anything as much as I hesitate about [seizing] the soul of My faithful servant: he hates death and I hate hurting him.‘“ [Bukhari]

Allah’s Messenger, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “If Allah loves a person, He calls Gabriel, saying, ‘Allah loves so and so, O Gabriel love him‘. So Gabriel would love him and then would make an announcement in the Heavens, ‘Allah has loved so and so, therefore, you should love him also.‘ So all the dwellers of the Heavens would love him, and then he is granted the pleasure of the people on the earth.“ [Bukhari]

As you can see from the above, Allah, Most High, loves his servants if they take steps towards Him and follow the way of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace. Allah even declares war on the person who is at enmity with the one He loves!

You have done an outstanding job by putting away your skirts and bikinis and I am positive that you will be rewarded for it. Every single good deed counts unconditionally and if done for the sake of Allah, it will serve you for all eternity in sha Allah. It seems to me that your effort to change is a clear sign in itself that Allah loves you. If Allah has deemed you worthy to be Muslim, trust Him and thank Him for it.

Keep up your good work, don’t ever despair, keep up your good intention to wear hijab and always seek to improve yourself, your knowledge and your application of it. Ask Allah to guide and strengthen you every step of the way.

Wassalam,
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterwards, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Learning Hijama (Cupping)

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question: Assalamu alaykum

I wana to learn how to perform islamic hijama cupping for its a sunna
of the prophet Muhammed, Allah bless him and give him peace, and it’s the best among the cures. I want to revive this sunnah please help me. How to get hijama online learning?

Answer: Wa ‘alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullah wa baraktuh.

I pray you are well.

I’m sure you can find a reputable institute online who will teach you the proper method and practice of cupping. I don’t know of any institute that I can recommend. It’s probably a good idea to look for one that has some official body approving it, so you know what you learn is authentic.

Your intention of reviving a sunna is very noble. There is a narration from the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, which – despite its weakness – provides great motivation and hope for such acts: “Whoever revives my sunna loves me; and whoever loves me will be with me in the Garden.” (Tirmidhi).

May Allah grant us all that honour. Amin

Wassalam,
[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 to study and sit at the feet of some of the most erudite scholars of our time.

Over the following eighteen months he studied a traditional curriculum, studying with scholars such as Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh Abdurrahman Arjan, Shaykh Hussain Darwish and Shaykh Muhammad Darwish.

In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years, in Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Theology, Hadith Methodology and Commentary, Shama’il, and Logic with teachers such as Dr Ashraf Muneeb, Dr Salah Abu’l-Hajj, Dr Hamza al-Bakri, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Dr Mansur Abu Zina amongst others. He was also given two licences of mastery in the science of Qur’anic recital by Shakh Samir Jabr and Shaykh Yahya Qandil.

His true passion, however, arose in the presence of Shaykh Ali Hani, considered by many to be one of the foremost tafsir scholars of our time who provided him with the keys to the vast knowledge of the Quran. With Shaykh Ali, he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Qur’anic Sciences, Tafsir, Arabic Grammar, and Rhetoric.

When he finally left Jordan for the UK in 2014, Shaykh Ali gave him his distinct blessing and still recommends students in the UK to seek out Shaykh Abdul-Rahim for Quranic studies. Since his return he has trained as a therapist and has helped a number of people overcome emotional and psychosomatic issues. He is a keen promoter of emotional and mental health.

My Brother Refuses to Support his Parents

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question: Assalamu alaykum

Can you advise me with regards to a situation and the Islamic perspective please? My brother has migrated into another country and keeps refusing to support his parents but seeks their assistance whenever it suits his motives.

I believe they were quite supportive of him and feel all the burdens on my shoulders. How can I approach this problem, it’s not even the physical needs of my parents but the emotional ones that bothers the most.

Answer: Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

You’re in a very difficult situation. There’s nothing you can do to make your brother help, nor should you try to be forceful in your approach. Helping in a time of need is something which stems from care and concern, but life and relationships are sometimes very complicated.

Don’t Expect Anything

You know your brother, and you know what to expect from him. If he hasn’t helped in the past, the chances are that he will probably stay that way. For your own peace of mind, don’t expect to receive anything from him.

If he does want to get involved, then, by all means, let him. You should not expect anything from him. Doing so will save you from the feeling of being let down when he doesn’t turn up.

Is this fair on you? Probably not. But if he’s not getting involved then you can’t really force him to. Sometimes, Allah makes other people a test for us in our lives to see our reaction. “We have made some of you a difficult tribulation for others of you. Will you be patient?” (Qur’an; 25:20)

Whatever you endure, you’ll be rewarded and compensated fro many times over. Allah is too generous not to reward you abundantly.

Have Empathy

Look at your brother. I don’t know the exact situation, but I’m guessing that there is some experience which has affected him some way. How was his relationship with your family members growing you? How was he with your father?

Many a time, our experiences affect our behaviours. Perhaps he went through something which is making it difficult to engage with your family now. Allah knows.

Give him the benefit of the doubt. If he has a legitimate excuse, Allah knows it. Otherwise, you’ll be gaining from what is literally a windfall. Your service of you father may just end up the means which guarantees you Paradise without any prior punishment of judgement. Would that not be worth it?

Communicate with Him

I think you should try and speak to your bother. Not about his conduct, but about why he feels he needs to be distant. Express what you feel, and how it is affecting you. Listen to how he feels, and how being involved would affect him.

Perhaps you will see each others perspectives, and that may become a bride to clearing matters for you all.

May Allah unite your heats in the best of ways.

Wassalam,
[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 to study and sit at the feet of some of the most erudite scholars of our time.

Over the following eighteen months he studied a traditional curriculum, studying with scholars such as Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh Abdurrahman Arjan, Shaykh Hussain Darwish and Shaykh Muhammad Darwish.

In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years, in Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Theology, Hadith Methodology and Commentary, Shama’il, and Logic with teachers such as Dr Ashraf Muneeb, Dr Salah Abu’l-Hajj, Dr Hamza al-Bakri, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Dr Mansur Abu Zina amongst others. He was also given two licences of mastery in the science of Qur’anic recital by Shakh Samir Jabr and Shaykh Yahya Qandil.

His true passion, however, arose in the presence of Shaykh Ali Hani, considered by many to be one of the foremost tafsir scholars of our time who provided him with the keys to the vast knowledge of the Quran. With Shaykh Ali, he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Qur’anic Sciences, Tafsir, Arabic Grammar, and Rhetoric.

When he finally left Jordan for the UK in 2014, Shaykh Ali gave him his distinct blessing and still recommends students in the UK to seek out Shaykh Abdul-Rahim for Quranic studies. Since his return he has trained as a therapist and has helped a number of people overcome emotional and psychosomatic issues. He is a keen promoter of emotional and mental health.