Insulting others

Dear questioner, May Allah bless you and increase you in good.

For repentance to be sound, one needs to do the following;

The Conditions for Repentance

The conditions for repentance are:

1. Leaving the sin;
2. Remorse over having sinned;
3. Resolve never to return to the sin;
4. (If it relates to the rights of another person, then to) Return the rights or property one wrongly took. [al-Bariqa fi Sharh al-Tariqa; Riyad al-Salihin]So in your case, it seems like you have repented. Do your best never to slip into that sin again.
[Imam] Yama Niazi
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Repenting from sin

Assalam alaykum wa rahmatullah
Dear questioner,
May Allah bless you and increase you in good.
Repentance
A Muslim who commits sins and afterward repents by meeting the conditions of repentance has repented. That is the minimum that is required. However, adab or etiquette requires that we should repent for all our shortcomings and wrong actions continuously.
Allah says, “Surely Allah loves those who always turn to Him in repentance and those who purify themselves.” [Quran 2:222]
Have a good opinion of Allah
One should believe that Allah forgave you when you repented; that is from having a good opinion of Allah.
The Prophet ( peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Allah the Most High said, ‘I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am. I am with him when he mentions Me. If he mentions Me to himself, I mention him to Myself; and if he mentions Me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly greater than it. If he draws near to Me a hand’s length, I draw near to him an arm’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.'”
[Bukhari]
As your question correctly assumed, frequently repenting is from the etiquette of every good believer; likewise, frequently supplicating is also from excellence.
Remember Allah after prayers.
After every prayer, you are encouraged to repent and intend to be the most excellent servant. There is a beautiful hadith that teaches us in extension to what the Prophet told Mu’adh.
Mu’adh (Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) took hold of my hand and said, “O Mu’adh! By Allah I love you, so I advise you never to forget to recite after every prayer:

   اللَّهُمَّ أَعِنِّيْ عَلَى ذِكْرِكَ وَشُكْرِكَ وَحُسْنِ عِبَادَتِكَ

“O Allah, help me remember You, to be grateful to You, and to worship You excellently.” [Abu Dawud]
May Allah grant us all a constant state of turning in repentance to Allah.
[Imam] Yama Niazi

Concentration and Repentance

Dear questioner,
May Allah bless you and increase you in good.
Concentration and Repentance
The conditions of true repentance are the following:
(1.) feel remorse for what they have committed
(2.) cease from the sin
(3.) intend never to return to that sin ever again
[Nawawi, Riyadh al-Salihin]
If the sin involves others’ rights, for example, theft, then the condition for repentance to be sound, they would have to return that wealth to the owner of it.
Remorse is something that a human being feels in the heart. It is a feeling of regret that leads the person to want to change or right that wrong.
A person who loves Allah and magnifies Him, and fears Him, will naturally feel this remorse for the wrong they have committed. This feeling of guilt is for the reason of disobeying Allah. No other reason would be appropriate. Nonetheless, this feeling is still created by Allah and facilitated by Him for the servant to repent. We must therefore ask Allah to grant us true repentance.
If you would like to ponder and reflect on your wrong actions so that you may repent, this would be acceptable. However, you can not delay repentance of sin because you don’t feel you have concentration. In this case, delaying the repentance is itself a sin.

A believer should always be fearful of delaying a sin because they may end up dying before repenting.

May Allah grant you and I true repentance for His sake and success afterward, never to return to that wrong.

[Imam] Yama Niazi
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

How Can I Get Out of an Illicit Relationship When He Is Unstable and Marriage Is Not Possible?

Question: I have been in a long-term relationship with a man. We intended to get married from the start but didn’t get our parents’ blessings because we were very young. It hasn’t been easy. He has been mentally ill for a long time. It’s very hard on me because I constantly have to suppress my real feelings around him. I want to get married because I can’t carry the burden anymore of being in a haram relationship, but he is mentally unstable and unable to marry. What do I do?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. An unstable partner in an illicit relationship is certainly a cause to worry, and I pray that you can remove yourself from this as soon as possible.

The Prayer of Need

The first step to ending any relationship is to ask Allah to help you. It won’t be easy, and with your partner’s mental instability, it may damage him. However, if you stay with him, you are damaging him and harming him more. Pray the Prayer of Need before dawn if you can, and ask Allah to guide you on how to walk away. Ask your Lord to give you wisdom, tact, and gentleness, so that you can both be free from these shackles of sin. https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/how-does-one-perform-the-prayer-of-need-salat-al-haja/

Tawba

Show Allah your regret, remorse, and renewed intention to never sin like this again. Ask Him to turn a new page for you and put your life back on track.
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/a-reader-on-tawba-repentance/

Sincere repentance brings Allah joy as we see this Prophetic hadith. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Verily, Allah is more pleased with the repentance of His slave than a person who has his camel in a waterless desert carrying his provision of food and drink, and it is lost. Having lost all hopes (to get that back), he lies down in the shade and is disappointed about his camel; when all of a sudden, he finds that camel standing before him. He takes hold of its reins and then, out of boundless joy, blurts out: ‘O Allah, You are my slave, and I am Your Lord. ‘ He commits this mistake out of extreme joy.“ [Muslim]

Change yourself

Focus on school, work, Islamic knowledge, health, skills, and worship. It is also extremely beneficial to find the good company of religious sisters who will help you, support you and be good friends to you. Once you get your life back on track, you should ask Allah to send you a good, pious husband who will honor you and take care of you and will not expect you to disobey Allah. I am certain that if you make Allah number one, you will find much good and many blessings come your way.

 

Given the considerations in such cases, please consult reliable local scholars about the situation’s specifics—Jazakum Allah khayr.

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next and give you the strength to do what you must.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

How Can I Compensate for My Immense Regret at Backbiting About One of My Friends?

Question: I have been a terrible person talking behind the backs of one of my friends. Sometimes I felt hurt, and I ranted ill about him. He doesn’t know at all and is a good friend. I feel guilt, sadness, and depression; I don’t know what to do. I feel awful, I don’t have the courage to tell him about all the ill things I said about him, and every time I talk to him, I feel guilt and regret. Please help me; I’m an awful person.

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. Your regret and pain are some of the signs of accepted repentance. Your heartbrokenness and sincerity are a gift, and you should be grateful that Allah made you hate your action.

Telling your friend

You should not tell your friend that you were backbiting about him if it would upset the friendship and break his heart. Your sincere repentance is the first step, and you may also consider praying the Prayer of Repentance. Please see the excellent resources here:

https://seekersguidance.org/articles/featured-articles/what-are-the-conditions-of-making-tawba-transcript-ustadh-abdullah-misra/


https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/how-should-i-apologize-after-backbiting-someone/
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/how-to-repent-from-backbiting/
https://islamqa.org/shafii/qibla-shafii/33940

Mercy

Allah expects His servants to sin, but He also expects them to repent. Remember that you are not alone. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “By Him in Whose Hand is my life, if you were not to sin, Allah would sweep you out of existence, and He would replace (you by) those people who would commit sin and seek forgiveness from Allah, and He would have pardoned them.“ [Muslim]

In addition to this, Allah is keen to forgive his sincerely repentant servants. He tells us, in His book, “Say, ˹O Prophet, that Allah says,˺ “O My servants who have exceeded the limits against their souls! Do not lose hope in Allah’s mercy, for Allah certainly forgives all sins. He is indeed the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.“ [Qur’an, 39:53]

Compensation

If you want to make it up to your friend, somehow, buy him a gift, or give some charity on his behalf and your behalf. You can even read some Qur’an and donate the reward to him. The possibilities are endless. Also, make a habit of catching yourself when you are backbiting and note where you were and who you were with. This is incumbent in figuring out one’s triggers and preventing the problem in the future.

The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Have taqwa (fear) of Allah wherever you may be, and follow up a bad deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards the people. [Tirmidhi]

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next, and may He allow all of us to purify our tongues and hearts.

[Ustadh] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

 

How Can I Become a Steadfast Muslim After Getting Out of an Illicit Relationship?

Question: Is every pain that we feel a trial? I was in a haram relationship, but by the Mercy of Allah, He led me out of it. When I was in that relationship, I was cheated on by him often and got verbally abused. I used to cry a lot. I thought that because I was in a haram relationship, Allah would never see my pain because of my disobedience. Those moments were excruciating. From now on, how can I be a good Muslim, and can I have tips for remaining steadfast?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I empathize with your pain, and I am pleased that you have moved past this sin. I believe from now on; you will find much good and many blessings in your life by His grace.

Tawba

The first step toward changing yourself is repentance. Sincere repentance with sincere regret and the resolve to never do it again with any boy is essential. Please see the details here:

https://seekersguidance.org/articles/featured-articles/what-are-the-conditions-of-making-tawba-transcript-ustadh-abdullah-misra/

Learn

The second step is to increase your knowledge and apply it to your life correctly. Learn your basic obligations in Islam and the halal and haram of daily life. Couple these with a class on the Prophet’s biography (Allah bless him and give him peace) for inspiration and heart softening. See these always-free classes linked here:
https://seekersguidance.org/courses/absolute-essentials-of-islam-shafii-habshis-encompassing-epistle-explained-getting-started-with-your-belief-and-practice/

https://seekersguidance.org/courses/meccan-dawn-the-life-of-the-beloved-prophet-muhammad-in-mecca/

Resources

Watch these videos on steadfastness, and see the other links below for more tips on changing yourself for the better after much pain and tribulation:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5hJ56OYsT0
https://seekersguidance.org/show/dealing-tribulations-inward-outward/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HMzg0HSH1U

Finally, I want you to know that Allah did see the pain you were going through, and He did not cast you aside because of the disobedience. Proof that Allah heard your pain is that He took you out of this situation, giving you what was the best for you, and for that, your gratitude should be unending. May Allah give you the best of this world and the next and bless you with a husband who will treat you well and give you all that you deserve and more.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Repentance and taking the means to right wrongs

Dear questioner,
May Allah bless you and increase you in good.
Yes, the repentance will count. However, you are obliged to make up all missed fasts you mentioned. Your repentance is sound.
Conditions of repentance
(1) Sincere remorse for the sin
(2) Immediately leaving the sin
(3) Firm resolve never to repeat the sin
[Nawawi, Riyad al-Salihin]
It is recommended to make them up as soon as one can. However, It is not an obligation to make them all up immediately. [Maydani, al-Lubab fi Sharh al-Kitab]
Suggestion for a schedule to make up fasts
I would suggest you use shorter days in the winters to make them up quickly without a lot of difficulty depending on your situation. Another suggestion is to fast on Mondays and Thursdays, and you can make them up in just two years roughly. Insha`Allah, you will be able to make them up soon.
May Allah grant you success.
[Imam] Yama Niazi

Does One Have To Ask the Forgiveness of People He Has Wronged in the Distant Past?

Question:

Does one have to ask the forgiveness of people he has wronged in the distant past?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for writing to us.

 

A Requirement of Repentance

A requirement of true repentance after having wronged another person is to seek that person’s pardon. Accordingly, you would need to seek the pardon of those you may have wronged, even if it was a long time ago. [Nawawi, Riyad al-Salihin]

 

The Sacredness of the Believer

The Messenger Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,

“Every Muslim is haram for another Muslim, in terms of his blood, wealth and honour.” [Muslim]

If you insult, inflict harm, or violate anyone’s honour, you must seek their pardon. This is because your sin has been recorded in your book of deeds. This is true even if this took place many years ago. [Nawawi, Riyad al-Salihin]

To obtain Allah’s pardon and forgiveness, you must:
(1) seek the pardon of the person you offended, and
(2) turn to Allah seeking His forgiveness. [Nawawi, Riyad al-Salihin]

 

Advice

Even if the person has forgotten about the incident, thinks you are crazy, or believes that the matter is a trivial one, it is always better for us, as Muslims, to adopt the path of caution in matters regarding our relationship with Allah and the Day of Reckoning.

For a more detailed discussion on the meanings and conditions of repentance, you may read here:

https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/what-is-sincere-repentance/

And Allah knows best.

[Shaykh] Abdurragmaan Khan

 

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdurragmaan received ijazah ’ammah from various luminaries, including but not restricted to: Habib Umar ibn Hafiz—a personality who affected him greatly and who has changed his relationship with Allah, Maulana Yusuf Karaan—the former Mufti of Cape Town; Habib ‘Ali al-Mashhur—the current Mufti of Tarim; Habib ‘Umar al-Jaylani—the Shafi‘i Mufti of Makkah; Sayyid Ahmad bin Abi Bakr al-Hibshi; Habib Kadhim as-Saqqaf; Shaykh Mahmud Sa’id Mamduh; Maulana Abdul Hafiz al-Makki; Shaykh Ala ad-Din al-Afghani; Maulana Fazlur Rahman al-Azami and Shaykh Yahya al-Gawthani amongst others.

Does Lying About My Qualifications Make My Income Haram?

Question:
Does lying about my qualifications make my income haram?
Answer:
Dear questioner,
Thank you for your important question.
May Allah, Most High reward you for your desire to increase in knowledge.
Lying in order to obtain a job is a major sin and requires repentance. However, the income that is made from the job is permissible and unaffected by the lie.
[Sarakhsi, al-Mabsut]
The Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “Verily truthfulness leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to paradise. A man may continue to be truthful until he is recorded as a speaker of the truth. Verily lying leads to wickedness and wickedness leads to hell. A man may continue to tell lies until he is recorded as a liar.” [Bukhari, al-Sahih]
From the above Hadith, we understand that telling the truth will always lead to what is best, even if outwardly it does not seem so.
As the saying goes: “Honesty is the best policy.”
And Allah alone knows best,
[Ustadh] Omar Popal
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Do I Have To Remove Immoral Comments Online?

Question:

When I was young, I used to read immoral books, and I would promote these books with extensive praise and comments on forums. Should I go back and delete all of these comments?

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Dear questioner,

Thank you for your important question.

The past is the past, and we should never allow ourselves to be caught in a trap of guilt.

That said, if you think that your comments are still being read and you can remove them within a few hours, I would go ahead and delete them. Otherwise, you should not go to extremes and just assume that no one will read your comments any more.

One of the great scholars of the past visited another scholar and found him very disturbed. He asked him what was wrong and he replied, “‘A young man just came to me asking about the true nature of repentance. I told him that it was to never forget the sins that you had done.’ He objected and said, ‘Rather, repentance is that you forget your sins!'” [Al-Risala al-Qushayriyya]

This means that repentance requires that you have to feel remorse for what you did. This means that you never forget the fact that you did bad things and that you are shy before Allah. At the same time, you have to forget your sin and never go back to in order to really repent, and you cannot keep digging yourself into a hole of depression thinking about how bad you once were. We should repent, make amends, and get on with life. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Someone who repents from sins is like someone who does not have any sins to begin with.” [Ibn Majah]

I pray this helps.

[Ustadh] Farid Dingle

 

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Farid Dingle has completed extensive years of study in the sciences of the Arabic language and the various Islamic Sciences. During his studies, he also earned a CIFE Certificate in Islamic Finance. Over the years he has developed a masterful ability to craft lessons that help non-Arabic speakers gain a deep understanding of the language. He currently teaches courses in the Arabic Language.