How Do I Deal With Other’s Betrayal of Me?

Question: In every relation, whether it’s my parents, my siblings, my relatives, my friends, or my colleagues- they misuse my good qualities. Some of them betrayed me, some of them expect materialistic gain, some of them hurt me. Please guide me and pray for me.

Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

May Allah Most High ease your difficulty and bless you with the strength to persevere.

Life is a Test

In situations such as this, we must remind ourselves that this life and everything in it is a test. The nature of tests is difficult and often we fail to see the wisdom behind them.

Allah Most High says, “…and We made some of you a test for others. Will you then bear patiently? And your Lord is All-Seeing.” [Qur’an; 25:20]

The tests that we go through regarding those we are close to us require patience. To strive to uphold the outward and inward commandments of Allah Most High in difficult times is the essence of patience (sabr) and God-consciousness (taqwa).

As Allah Most High says, “…if you bear patiently and have taqwa, their plot will not harm you at all.” [Qur’an; 03:120]

Reward according to Difficultly

You should see your relationships with others as an opportunity to refine yourself and your character.  There are certain aspects of beautiful character that take an effort to adopt. And often, they can only be acquired in times of hardship.

The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Surely the extent of the reward is according to the extent of the test. And verily when Allah loves a people, He tests them. Thus whoever is pleased (i.e. with the decree of Allah) then for them is (Divine) contentment and whoever is angered, then for them is anger.” [Tirmidhi]

When Allah Most High tests someone He gives them opportunities to purify themselves and acquire Prophetic character. This opportunity is a sign of Allh’s love for that person.

As the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Should I not guide you to the noblest character of this world and the hereafter? Pardon those who wrong you, give to those who withhold from you, and join ties with those who cut you off.” [al-Bayhaqi; al-Sunan al-Kubra]

Being Cautious

With that being said, we must also be cautious not to allow others to step on us or take advantage of us. As the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “The Believer is not bit from one hole twice.” [Muslim]

Thus, distancing yourself from those non-family members who harm you may be advisable. As for your family members, you should strive to uphold family ties although it is difficult.

Prayer of Need

You should try to pray each day, The Prayer of Need, as taught to us by the Prophet (may Allah bless him and give him peace) and ask Allah Most High for righteous companions.

See the following link:

How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (salat al-haja)?

May Allah ease your difficulty
Allahu A’alam

[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Yusuf Weltch is a graduate from Tarim; a student of Habib Umar and other luminaries; and authorized teachers of Qur’an and the Islamic sciences.

Saving Our Souls Series

Our teacher, Shaykh Yusuf Weltch, guides us through a journey, a path that ultimately leads to true happiness; the love of Allah.  Join us as we take this trip.  Keep an eye on this page for updates to new articles and podcasts.

Part 1: Introduction | Click here

  • An article on the heart and the need to take care of it

Part 2: Obligations of the Heart | Click here

  • We’ve heard of bodily obligations, but what are the obligations of the heart?

Part 3: A Precious Counsel from a Revered Scholar | Click here

  • The believer’s state

Part 4: 22 Sins of the Heart | Click here

  • Yes, even the heart can sin, which are the worst of sins

Part 5: 12 Sins of the Stomach | Click here

  • Everything we digest has an impact on the heart

Part 6: 12 Sins of the Eyes | Click here

  • Seeing eye to eye with the legislation

Part 7: 38 Sins of the Tongue | Click here

  • Do you want Paradise guaranteed for you?

Part 8: The Sins of the Ears

Part 9: The Sins of the Hand

Part 10: The Sins of the Private Parts

Part 11: The Sins of the Feet

Part 12: The Sins of the Body

How Can a Muslim Be Fully Aware of Satan’s Plan?

Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Weltch

Question: How can a Muslim be fully aware of Shaytan’s plan? Like avoiding the bad? What tricks does he use to make a person transgress?

Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

The fundamental component by which one can know the plots and plans of the Shaytan is having deep understanding of the Religion.

The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “One person of deep understanding of religion is harder on Shaytan than a thousand worshippers.” [Ibn Majah]

Deep Understanding

Deep Understanding is the fruit of seeking sacred islamic knowledge. Knowledge of the teachings of Allah Most High and His beloved Messenger (may Allah bless him and give him peace).

The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Whoever travels a path, seeking therein (sacred) knowledge Allah will facilitate for him a path toward Paradise. And verily the Angels lay down their wings out of being pleased with seeking knowledge….” [Ibn Majah]

Practical Steps for Seeking Knowledge

Firstly, you should seek out a reliable teacher who has studied from a reliable institute or from reliable scholars. Their character should be in accordance to the Prophetic teachings.

Secondly, strive to learn from them the basics of the religion regarding faith, worship, and spirituality.

If you then desire to further your studies, consult your teachers regarding the way forward.

Shaytan’s Plot

– Shaytan’s goal is to drag everyone with him to the Hell-Fire.

Allah Most High says, “Verily Shaytan is your enemy, so take him as an enemy. He only calls his followers to become inhabitants of the Blazing Fire.” [Qur’an; 35:06]

– He has no control over anyone except that he incites them toward evil through his whispers.

Allah Most High tells us, “And Shaytan says, when the affair is decided: ‘Verily Allah promised you the promise of truth; I also promised you but I broke my promise to you. I did not have any authority over you except that I called you and you responded to me. Therefore, do not blame me, but blame yourselves. I cannot help you, nor can you help me…’” [Qur’an; 14:22]

– Shaytan deceives. He beautifies disobedience for people.

Allah Most High says, “…and Shaytan has made their deeds beautiful to them and he has barred them from the (right) way, so they are not guided.” [Qur’an; 27:24]

His Plot is Weak

Allah Most High says, “… surely Shaytan’s plot is weak.” [Qur’an; 04:76]

Summary

In summary, the greatest way to travel the straight path and protect one’s self from the plots of Shaytan is knowledge coupled with sincere practice. Thereafter, having a community and a teacher or mentor in which one can consult in unclear decisions.

Hope this helps
Allah knows best

[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Yusuf Weltch is a graduate from Tarim; a student of Habib Umar and other luminaries; and authorized teachers of the Qur’an and the Islamic sciences.

Taking A Non Muslim As A Role Model

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question: Is it permissible to admire and take non-Muslim as a role model for their humility and good qualities without wanting anything to do with their disbelief?

Answer: Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barkatuh

I pray you are well.

Yes, this admiration of good conduct and character is permissible. The Messenger of Allah said, “Clearly, I have only been sent to complete righteous character.” (Ahmad). This hadith indicates that other nations have good character, but its pinnacle is found in the teachings of Islam.

Follow the Messenger of Allah

Allah told us the He sent us the Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, as an excellent role model for us to follow: “Indeed there is for you, in the Messenger of Allah, an excellent exemplar…” (33:21). Make him the person who you emulate, you’ll never be let down.

From amongst the living, there are many righteous people and scholars who embody some aspects of his perfect conduct. No one can embody it all besides him, Allah bless him and give him peace. This is safer, as they are likely to uplift and inspire you in every way. More than someone who does not know or embody the sunna can.

Islam recognizes the virtue of individuals, Muslims, and non-Muslims alike. The Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, honored the daughter of Hatim al Tayyi’, a man is known for his great generosity, simply because his father was an honorable man.

A sounder approach is to pray for those non-Muslims within whom we recognize virtue. Ask Allah to guide them to Islam, and they’ll have the virtue of iman to add to their list.

May Allah grant you the best of both worlds.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with erudite scholars such as Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh Abdurrahman Arjan, Shaykh Hussain Darwish, and Shaykh Muhammad Darwish. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic with teachers such as Dr. Ashraf Muneeb, Dr. Salah Abu’l-Hajj, Dr Hamza al-Bakri, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Dr. Mansur Abu Zina, and others. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Qur’anic recital by Shakh Samir Jabir and Shaykh Yahya Qandil. With Shaykh Ali, he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Qur’anic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.

Speaking Harshly

Answered by Ustadh Salman Younas

Question: Today after jummah prayer was over I was looking for a women who I had told I would give her money, so I was looking for her and a man came and asked me for money and he claims that he’s the person I “promised”, so he basically lied. I got angered and spoke harshly to him. Am I sinful for speaking to the man harshly?

Answer: assalamu alaykum

The answer to this question would depend on the nature of your harshness and what exactly you stated.

Anger is not only a natural human emotion but a necessary one for essential human functioning. However, because it is so easy for a person’s anger to become a “swelling ocean” and exceed the bounds, our religion has placed great emphasis on controlling and moderating one’s anger. Thus, the Prophet (blessings upon him) counselled his companions not to become angry. [Bukhari], and many great scholars when asked to summarise good character said it was to leave aside anger. [al-Ghazali, Ihya Ulum al-Din]

Imam al-Ghazali mentions that anger is acceptable only:

i. at the right time,
ii. in the right place,
iii. for the right reasons, and
iv. with the right intensity.

Falling short in any of these points will lead to imbalance and a type of anger the Prophet warned against – one that is not entailed by religion nor the intellect. This imbalanced and blameworthy anger is dangerous because of what it leads to: mockery, insults, demeaning and abusing others, envy, hatred, backbiting etc.

If your anger involved any of this, it should be considered sinful and you should repent. However, if it was merely an expression of firmness and frustration at this person’s act of lying that did not exceed the bounds, it would not be sinful.

But it is often superior to hold back and put up with people in the type of situation you describe and to still seek the forgiveness of God. Imam Ahmad stated, “Good character is to not get angry or enraged. Good character is to patiently endure what comes from people.” [Ibn Rajab, Jami al-Ulum wa’l-Hikam] The spiritual masters of Islam advise people to resist the impulses of their self (nafs) as a form of training it. In other words, when it gets angry, a person should strive to conquer it through good moral character and a display of gentleness. [al-Qushayri, al-Risala]

[Ustadh] Salman Younas

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Salman Younas was born and raised in New York, graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Political Science and Religious Studies. After studying the Islamic sciences online and with local scholars in New York, Ustadh Salman moved to Amman. There he studies Islamic law, legal methodology, belief, hadith methodology, logic, Arabic, and tafsir. Ustadh Salman’s personal interests include research into the fields of law/legal methodology, hadith, theology, as well as political theory, government, media, and ethics. He is also an avid traveler and book collector. He currently resides in Amman with his wife.

The True Eid – Ustadh Amjad Tarsin

“Be Joyful with Allah.” This is what Ustadh Amjad Tarsin heard while he was studying abroad. Here, he speaks about Eid in our religion, and encourages us to see the beauty encompassed in the tradition.

Pray for Acceptance

One of the best things we can do on Eid, is pray for the acceptance of the actions that we performed in Ramadan. Even great deeds are meaningless if they are not accepted by Allah. Imam Ali once said that no accepted action is insignificant. Scholars say that the sign of acceptance of your actions, is that Allah places in your heart a greater commitment to continue those fasts. They also say that a sign that your Ramadan is accepted, is that you are able to fast the six days of Shawwal, which carry the reward of fasting the rest of the year.

Before Ramadan ends, we should try to make intentions to carry on certain acts of worship. Of course, we cannot continue fasting every day, praying 20 rakats at night, and reading a whole juz a day. However, we can try to pray tajajjud, do some voluntary fasts and recite a page of Qur’an a day. Small, consistent actions enable you to stay engaged with Allah’s word.

Be Thankful

Why do we chant “Allahu Akbar” and other words of praise, on Eid day? The answer lies in a very special verse on the Qur’an.

“So that you may complete the prescribed period and proclaim the greatness of Allah for guiding you, so that you may be grateful.” (2:185) 

Therefore, we celebrate the completion of Ramadan by praising Allah. Of course, our celebrating Eid is like an engagement party, with the real celebration is in the next life, when we meet our Lord. Eid is a celebration, and any day that we are able to fulfill our duty towards our Creator, is a cause of celebration.

Remembering the Greatest Eid

As we celebrate this Eid, let’s remember the Greatest Eid; the day we meet our Lord. For some people, their whole lives are like Ramadan, and their day of Eid is when they see Allah.

There was once a righteous man who told one of his students, “When you hear of my death, buy sweets and distribute it to those at the madrassa.” Because he was so eager to meet Allah, he considered his death a celebration, rather than a cause for fear.

Habib Kadhim al Saqqaf on the Last Ten Days of Ramadan

*Originally Published on 7/06/2018

Habib Kadhim al-Saqqaf encourages us to maximise our benefit from the last ten days of Ramadan, and offers advice and practical tips.

Step 1: Appreciation & Intention

We can begin by appreciating the gift of these blessed ten days, and learning about what Allah is offering us therein. We can receive it with gratitude and joy, and thankfulness to Allah for His gift.

We can intend to fast happily, do good works and pray tarawih in order to follow the practice of the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace. Intend to deal with others well this Ramadan.

Step 2: Understanding

We know that the first part of Ramadan is mercy, the middle part of it is forgiveness, and the last part of it is freedom from the Fire. By recognizing that the last ten nights are freedom from the Fire, we can plan to strive harder in order to achieve it.

We can also keep in mind that Allah prescribed the fast to us, just as He did to others before us. It was not meant to be a pointless command to put us in difficultly, but rather to teach us valuable lessons in self-restraint and God-consciousness.

Step 3: Rejoice

Therefore, we can rejoice in the presence of these days, by exposing ourselves to the mercy of Allah, and embodying it by showing mercy to other. This is in the spirit of the hadith, “The merciful ones will be shown mercy by the Most Merciful. Show mercy to the ones on Earth, and the one beyond the heavens will be merciful to you.” (Tirmidhi) We should pray for Muslims and non-Muslims alike, and we should pray that people who are isolated or unaware of the religion, find a connection to it.


 

The Believer, Futuwwa, & Times of Crisis – Shaykh Salman Younas

A few days ago, I visited the local supermarket to stock up on some basic supplies for the home – some rice, canned food, tissues, cleaning items, and medicine. An announcement from the government was imminent, and anticipating a potential decision to close schools, offices, and other public venues and activities, people were rushing to prepare themselves for the worse of the coronavirus crisis. 

Finding some of the items on my list proved a difficult task. Fever reducing medication, such as paracetamol, was sold-out in most places despite efforts to limit the quantity individuals could purchase. I went from store to store until finally I was able to purchase the maximum two packets of medicine allocated to each customer. This was the fifth store I had visited. Earlier, as I walked in the medicine aisle of one chain pharmacy, I saw an elderly couple looking for the same medicine that I was. There was none, of course, and I informed them that the situation was the same at the local supermarket. 

The coming days will prove to be challenging for many of us: increasingly confined to our homes and uncertain of what to expect in the coming few weeks and months. Some people, however, will be faced with difficulties of an entirely different magnitude. The coronavirus, which has gripped the entire world, is particularly dangerous for those above the age of sixty and those with underlying health conditions. Significant numbers will succumb to the virus, while many others will be hospitalized in critical and intensive care. The empty shelves we are seeing as a result of the paranoia that has gripped various nations also means that many will probably find themselves struggling to find basic supplies and medicine, at least until a system is implemented to ensure demand is met.

Islam teachers us that the believer is someone who maximizes benefit and minimizes harm for all those around him. Often, when we speak about our treatment and dealing with other people, the concept of mercy, love, care, selflessness, etc., come to mind. In Islam, there is another concept that is all encompassing of the adab a believer is meant to display: futuwwa, or chivalry.

Its foundation, as stated by Imam al-Qushayri, is “that the servant of God always exerts himself in the service of others.” (al-Risala al-Qushayriyya) This is in keeping with the statement of the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him), “Allah is in the aide of his servant as long as the servant is in aide of his brother.” (Sahih Muslim) There are several futuwwa traits that we should uphold in these trying times, among them:

  1. Minimizing harm to others. Imam al-Junayd said, “Chivalry means keeping trouble away from others.” (al-Risala al-Qushayriyya) This is an all-encompassing definition. In the current context, keeping trouble away from others entails ensuring that one is not a cause for the spread of this illness in any way shape or form to an interdiction on hoarding, raising prices, spreading false news, and more. The believer is someone who avoids causing difficulties for others, while bearing the difficulties caused by them.
  2. Making active efforts to assist those around us. Imam al-Qushayri said, “Chivalry is that you do not hide from those who seek your assistance.” (al-Risala al-Qushayriyya) The coming weeks will see individuals in our community struggle: financially, emotionally, and in other ways. They will look to the wider community to lift them up and it is the duty of every Muslim to extend them his hand in support. This should be something we do actively without being asked. As Sufyan al-Thawri said, “It is contrary to proper adab to not serve when you are able to.” (Kitab al-Futuwwa)
  3. Giving to people freely. Imam al-Qushayri said, “Chivalry is that you neither hoard wealth nor seek excuses to avoid giving to those in need.” (al-Risala al-Qushayriyya) The past few days have shown that people are concerned about the future, which has resulted in buying goods in bulk often at the expense of others. This is contrary to trust in Allah (tawakkul). Part of chivalry is to have trust that one’s sustenance is guaranteed and not let concern for it prevent from assisting others.
  4. Giving preference to others. Imam Jafar al-Sadiq said, “Chivalry is that if we are given something, we prefer to give it to someone else.” (al-Risala al-Qushayriyya) This only arises from worldly detachment, being satisfied with little for oneself, and wishing much for others. It is expected of the Muslim in good times and is demanded of him even more when hard times fall on people. As the current crisis unfolds, Muslims will have to freely and generously give of their wealth, time, and resources in order to ensure the well-being of wider society.
  5. Showing compassion to all of creation. This manifests in numerous ways: a cheerful smile, a kind gesture, soothing words, tolerating the actions of others, overlooking faults, empathy, and praying for all. Everything we do in these moments should embody prophetic compassion. In times of uncertainty and anxiety, the believer will encounter unsavoury things, but he must confront them not with negativity, harshness, or complacency, but positivity, patience, and decency.

In Islamic discourse, the fata was essentially the word used to describe the ideal, noble man whose hospitality and generosity was so expansive that he left little for himself. The term futuwwa came to denote a code of honourable conduct that followed the examples of the prophets, saints, and righteous. At its core was the notion of not just generosity, but an almost heroic generosity of time, wealth, and spirit where one went above and beyond for his fellow human beings. If there was any time for Muslims to adopt the ethics and traits associated with futuwwa – loyalty, generosity, humility, courage, etc. -, it is this time we find ourselves in right now.

Regarding Sincerity: A Conversation About Truthful Intention and Self Accountability – By Dr. Mahmoud Masri

Dr. Mahmoud Masri

There’s a story in ‘al-Risala al-Qushayriyya’ of a young man who regularly attended a gathering (majlis), when he heard a shaykh discussing sincerity: how is it, how should it be when performing actions, etc. The young man found this heavy upon himself, and from that day forward he made a firm intention that he would not attend the gathering anymore, and refrained from going until the point he was harmed because of that. The Shaykh noticed his absence and asked regarding him. He eventually met with him and asked him why he was absent; he answered, “I heard from your words and was afraid for myself”. The Shaykh replied to him, “My son, that’s not the solution. We point you to sincerity (ikhlas) in actions, not to abandoning actions!”

Act! Thoughts such, “I’m doing this pious act and I fear the interest of people and their interest in my actions” may come to a person. One must not pay attention to this and should correct their intention. Even if he is actually one of the ostentatious, he should remain upon the action, and continue the deed. Like when they said, “We sought knowledge for other than Allah, and knowledge refused to be for any but Allah.”

Every action is such! Just like prayer may not be perfect because of what comes to the person of thoughts and notions; the solution isn’t to abandon prayer all together. Rather, the solution is in rectification, and this is done with training.

It is upon the person to adhere to actions, even if notions, whispers, or thoughts come to him. Thoughts of the self are like whispers of Devil: their remedy is to disregard them.

Section:

In the issue of the person who doesn’t like notoriety, and in this state, thoughts of people noticing this come to him.  This is from the hidden and intricate matters that are warned against in spiritual training.  As mentioned earlier, the approach here is to disregard these thoughts and to continue the actions he was doing. This is how these thoughts and things which resemble them go away.

One thing that helps the person in this is clarity (as-Safaa) and of the means of obtaining it are:

  • remembrance of Allah (dhikr)
  • good companionship (suhbah)
  • self striving (mujahadah)
  • self training and exercise (tadreeb wa riyadhatu-nafs)

You cannot remove darkness, but you can bring light. When light becomes present, darkness disappears. 

Whoever knows Allah is not the slave of fame nor of obscurity; rather, he will be a slave of Allah. Whatever state Allah places him in he submits to Him, outwardly and inwardly, and he doesn’t pay attention to anything else.  If he places him in one situation he is content, if he places him in another, he is content. He doesn’t look back on these matters.

As for the issue regarding people venerating a person for his work in da’wah while he doesn’t see himself deserving such treatment from them since there are people more knowledgeable than him, deserving something comes from Allah. If we were to look at worthiness then none of us would actually qualify by ourselves. What occurred is that which the divine will selected, so it’s from Allah’s decree and we have no control over the matter.

Furthermore, don’t look at the external and apparent. Rather, look at the fact that Allah is the one who moves them and their hearts; and that you are similar to them in that you are in Allah’s possession. You exchange the same love and respect. See in everything that it is from Allah, and say, “All praise is due to Allah” and this will push you to many things.

It is said, “Whoever has good opinion of you, work towards realizing it.”

Not by saying, “You spoke the truth” or “What you said regarding me and your good opinion of me is true, I am exactly what you say and think of me”.

Rather, the meaning is to act in accordance with their good opinion, make them truthful by actually doing the actions; that you are actually like that!

It has also been said:

When a rumor spread that Abu Hanifah used to pray Fajr with the wudu of ‘Isha he forced that upon himself and took it as a sign for himself from Allah. 

O Allah grant us sincerity.

 

Taken from the words of Shaykh Dr. Mahmoud Masri, click here to read the Arabic original.

Translated by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

The End of a Crucial Decade in Human History – Shaykh Sadullah Khan

* Courtesy of Masjid al – Furqan

In this Pre Khutba talk, Shaykh Sadullah Khan discusses the importance of valuing and utilizing one’s time appropriately and constructively. He reminds the congregation that it is critical to reflect on how time has passed us collectively. With the completion of a decade, Shaykh Sadullah highlights the various local and global issues and events that have affected human beings around the globe. From the Arab spring to the fascist laws being passed in India, the past decade has shown the degradation of morality within human beings. Despite the wonderful technological and scientific advancements, we as human beings have failed in truly making a positive change in our societies. It is critical for us to be aware of what is happening around us so that we as Muslims may be able to engage in actions of virtue and benefit.