Prophetic Parenting Part 3 – Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

The Prophetic Parenting series, taught by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani,  covers 40 Hadiths on raising righteous Muslim children. This segment of the Prophetic Parenting series covers hadith relating to good conduct with children.

 

It is narrated that the Prophet Muhammad, Allah bless him and give him peace, send Anan ibn Malik to run an errand for him. Anas, who was still a young boy, ran into some children on the way and forgot. When the Prophet found him, he asked him whether he had done what was asked of him. Anas replied, “Yes, I am going!”

This hadith teaches us many lessons. For example, if a child makes a mistake, a parent can work with them to fix the mistake rather than focus on what went wrong, which will not necessarily solve the problem.

In another hadith, one of his grandchildren entered the room where charity was kept for distribution, and took one of the dates and began to eat it. The Prophet removed the date form his mouth and gently reminded him that the charity was a trust to give to others, not for personal consumption, and that the family of the Prophet were prohibited from taking charity. In this way, he taught his grandchild in a gentle, yet firm way, correcting him without harshness.

Within the teachings of the blessed Prophet, we are taught to make good intentions when spending time with them, and having high aspirations for them. For example, the Prophet Muhammad once prayed for his cousin, Ibn Abbas, Allah be pleased with him, to become learned in the religion. Ibn Abbas then became the leading teacher of the Qur’an, although he was one of the younger companions. Parents should have high hopes for their children, and make a lot of supplications for them.

About the Series

As Muslims, we take family and our children seriously. We seek clarity and guidance to raise upright, righteous, successful Muslim children who love Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him). Shaykh Faraz Rabbani will cover 40 hadiths of the Prophet (peace be upon him) on parenting.

Beginning with how to choose a spouse while keeping in mind future parenting, to raising and educating children from when they’re small to when they are young adults. We will also see beautiful, faith-inspiring examples of the Prophet’s mercy, gentleness, wisdom, and excellence in his own parenting and dealing with children–while inculcating in them the highest of aspiration, discipline, curiosity, intelligence, and spiritual resolve.

Prophetic Parenting Part 2 – Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

The Prophetic Parenting series, taught by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani,  covers 40 Hadiths on raising righteous Muslim children. This segment of the Prophetic Parenting series covers hadith that relate to interacting with children, as well as how to nurture a good upbringing.

The Prophet Muhammad, Allah bless him and give him peace, told us that each child is born on the fitra, or its  natural disposition. This does not mean that each child is born a Muslim, but that each child is born with potential for honestly, good, and uprightness, as well as potential for corruption and waywardness. Therefore, the parents have a transformative role rather than a marginal one. Rather, it’s the parents that will influence the children either way. Results are in the hands of Allah, but parents are responsible for taking the means to raise their children well.

To help us attain this purpose,  the following dua appears in the Qur’an:

                                                   رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا 

“Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous”. (25:74)

The righteous people are the best of Allah’s servants. We aren’t just asked to make dua for simple righteousness, but rather we are encouraged to ask Allah to make us the best of His servants.

In addition, we are told that one of the good deeds that will continue to multiply after our deaths, is a righteous child that prays for us. This should encourage parents to persist in their efforts, even at times when they feel discouraged, exhausted, or even if they feel that their children are not achieving their purpose. A parent will be rewarded for every moment of hardship they experienced if they deal with it patiently, and will be rewarded even more if their child prays for them, long after they have passed away. This should be a source of inspiration and comfort for all parents.

About the Series

As Muslims, we take family and our children seriously. We seek clarity and guidance to raise upright, righteous, successful Muslim children who love Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him). Shaykh Faraz Rabbani will cover 40 hadiths of the Prophet (peace be upon him) on parenting.

Beginning with how to choose a spouse while keeping in mind future parenting, to raising and educating children from when they’re small to when they are young adults. We will also see beautiful, faith-inspiring examples of the Prophet’s mercy, gentleness, wisdom, and excellence in his own parenting and dealing with children–while inculcating in them the highest of aspiration, discipline, curiosity, intelligence, and spiritual resolve.


Prophetic Parenting Part 1 – Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

The Prophetic Parenting series, taught by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani,  covers 40 Hadiths on raising righteous Muslim children.

Shaykh Faraz Rabbani opens the session by bringing the discussion to the pre-marriage phase; choosing a spouse.

A successful marriage will be with somebody who has good character, empathy, generosity, and other inner trails, while things like beauty and wealth can fade away. This world is provision and a means, and the best provision in it is a righteous spouse.

Good character is very important because children are extremely impressionable from a young age. It is important for parents to model qualities that they want the children to instil, such as honesty and accountability.

In addition, parents should make their choices carefully, and make them for the sake of Allah, knowing that they have immediate moral consequence in this world, and in the hereafter.

Parents’ actions will affect their relationship with their children, and have emotional, physical, and moral consequences. The Prophet Muhammad was incredibly expressive in his love, and he described his two grandsons as “the two joys in my life.” He would regularly express his love to his family members and others. Parents shouldn’t be shy to be expressive in their love to each other and to their children,

In addition, parents should have a good idea of how they want to raise their children, and ways to achieve those goals. Secondly, they should have a good idea how to have a healthy and gentle how to install adab, or proper manners, in their day-to-day routine.

About the Series

As Muslims, we take family and our children seriously. We seek clarity and guidance to raise upright, righteous, successful Muslim children who love Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him). Shaykh Faraz Rabbani will cover 40 hadiths of the Prophet (peace be upon him) on parenting.

Beginning with how to choose a spouse while keeping in mind future parenting, to raising and educating children from when they’re small to when they are young adults. We will also see beautiful, faith-inspiring examples of the Prophet’s mercy, gentleness, wisdom, and excellence in his own parenting and dealing with children–while inculcating in them the highest of aspiration, discipline, curiosity, intelligence, and spiritual resolve.


Keep Calm and Mother On–Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil reflects on her role as a parent, and how to deal with mistakes and stress on your parenting journey.

I thought I was a kind and patient person. And then I had children.

It is easy to be patient when everything is in harmony. It’s harder to be patient when there is one crying baby. It is even harder when there are two. This reminds me of the Prophetic narration:

Narrated Anas Ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him): The Prophet (upon him be blessings and peace said, “The real patience is at the first stroke of a calamity.” [Bukhari]

There have been many, many tiny catastrophes that come with parenting young children. Some days end up with a visit to the emergency ward, like when my eldest daughter fell off a chair on Eid and broke her wrist. Others days end up with me craving the comfort of instant noodles, after a stressful day.

Motherhood has made me a creative problem-solving ninja. Motherhood has also made me feel moments of rage.
I can tell you, objectively, that anger is a secondary emotion. Beneath the waterline, the iceberg of anger is full of other emotions like shame, fear, sadness, insecurity, and so on.

Now I can also tell you about my all-encompassing feelings of despair, when I realised that I cannot comprehend why my 3 year old would hit her baby sister, or refuse to use the toilet when she clearly has to go. And following hot on that heels my helplessness is rage. And with that rage, comes an old childhood default of yelling.

How To Cope With Anger

Shouting when I’m out of my mind with anger feels temporarily good – but then that dissolves into shame, when I realise I’ve lost control of myself. And after my own shame and regret, I hugged my daughter. I told her I’m sorry I shouted at her. And then she hugged me and said, “I’m sorry I shouted at you.”

I realised something else after that. These mistakes all give me opportunities for growth. Repair attempts bring me closer to my daughter, as well as my husband. Every relationship is fraught with the potential for conflict, and conflict, when harnessed well, can help bring us closer. My daughter is also a preschooler with a developing frontal lobe. I’m the adult. It’s my responsibility to model calm. I don’t want my daughter to learn that it’s OK to yell, threaten and emotionally blackmail until you get your way. I want her to learn that it’s important to keep her cool most of the time, but when she inevitably slips up, it’s imperative for her to make it right. She needs to say sorry, and make it up to the other person. What I do to her speaks louder than what I say to her.

A compassionate friend with five children of her own comforted me, after what felt like the worst parenting day of my life. My 7 month old baby, new to solids, had indigestion and woke every 1-2 hours at night. I woke up absolutely shattered, and my preschooler felt especially challenging as a result. The day did not go well, suffice to say.

My friend gently reminded me that I am doing my best and that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Neither is there a perfect child, spouse, or friend. She also made the point to emphasise that my own childhood difficulties have gifted me with a commitment to be a more conscious parent – most of the time.

Sometimes, that’s all an exhausted mother needs. Reassurance.

Children break our attachment to things. Sometimes, they literally break things. Other times, it’s even basic ‘needs’, like 8 hours of sleep, or using the toiler without interruption. Maybe even having a sit-down meal or a hot cup of tea. These are the small blessings that I took for granted, until I had my first child. Now that I have two little ones, I am even more grateful for these blessings.

There is still the ‘old school’ voice in my head that thinks that sometimes, maybe what my daughter needs is a healthy dose of fear. She doesn’t need to get physically disciplined, but a bit of shouting and intimidation might do the trick. Then I catch myself, breathe, and find my centre. I know what happens when children get yelled at, maybe even hit – when they get old enough, some run away, and never come back.

It doesn’t have to be a dramatic fall out. Adult children who feel disconnected from their parents can very easily find ways to move far away. It is a huge earth, after all, with many opportunities. And as years go by, this continental drift can grow further and further apart. Spouses, children and loving and accepting in-laws can feel like far kinder oases of affection, instead of parents who continue to hurt and disappoint.

I think of this, when I look at my daughters. Right now, I am the centre of their universe. It is hard to imagine a time when they will no longer look for me. I am not only their In Case of Emergency contact, I am their everything-I-want-to-contact.

Until then, breathing helps. Pausing. Choosing to respond from a space of calm, instead of anger. It’s better for me to tell my daughter, “I’m walking away to take a break,” instead of lashing out at her. Articles like this help me realise that there are far better ways of dealing with challenges, better ways to set limits, and better ways to calm myself. I know this too – when my daughter feels connected to me, she is much more likely to cooperate.

Why Not Physical Discipline?

I realise that as I write this and put it out there into the world, I invite criticism. I’m too soft. I need to be firmer. I’m spoiling her. And so on. What’s wrong with a bit of physical discipline? How will children learn without punishment? Read more here, if you need more evidence that hitting children in anger isn’t even effective.

I don’t want to be a mother who screams at or beats her children to get them in line. In the long-run, I’ve witnessed so many examples of how that stops working. I want to be a mother who knows how to keep calm, set firm limits, and be there for her children. I know I struggle with keeping calm and setting limits because of my own childhood, but my children are my greatest teachers. Every day, they give me plenty of opportunities to practice.

`Abd Allah b. Mughaffal reported the Messenger of Allah (upon him be blessings and peace) as saying : “Allah is gentle, likes gentleness, and gives for gentleness what he does not give for harshness.” [Sunan Abi Dawud]

I think often about the gentleness of the Prophet (upon him be blessings and peace). I tell my daughter stories of how he let his grandchildren ride his back while he prayed. He was gentle, but he also knew how to be firm. There is something in that for me to learn, and practice.

There is something tremendous about bringing new life into this world. And the sunnah of this world is to expect hardship with blessings. O Allah, help all parents respond from a place of calm. Forgive us for our shortcomings, and help our children forgive us.


Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers through Qibla Academy and SeekersGuidance Global. She also graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales.


Resources for Seekers

As You Step Into the World, My Child–A Mother’s Advice about Entering High School

After being homeschooled his whole life, Hina Khan-Mukhtar’s youngest son began public high school for the first time ever. Here is some of the advice she gave him.

As he stepped out of my car and began his first walk to California High School, I recited the Ayat-ul-Kursi (Verse of the Throne) over him, said “Bismillah” (in the Name of God) aloud, told him to call on Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) at all times, to remember everything we’ve taught him, and to try to gain the most benefit in his time spent here. He smiled, nodded his head, swung his backpack onto his shoulder, and turned away from me to walk into a world where I could no longer follow.

Sr. Hina’s Advice for Coping With High School

1. Friends

I hope you make friends in school, but know that for the most part, the kids you meet will be your classmates and your acquaintances, not your “friends”. Your friends are people with whom you share similar values, and you have already been blessed with plenty of good ones, alhamdulillah. If you don’t make more friends in high school, that’s perfectly okay…making friends is not your primary goal nor is it your major need.

2. Influence

Know that in every moment of your life, you are either influencing others or others are influencing you. That’s it. It’s either one or the other; there’s no third option. The questions to always ask yourself are — Am I benefiting the world around me? Do I like who I’m becoming right now? Would the Prophet Muhammad (upon whom be peace) be proud to call me one of his own?

3. Bullies

 Be kind and friendly with everyone — but not with bullies. Bullies don’t respond to kindness; they only respond to boundaries. Don’t hesitate to speak aggressively to anyone who is trying to intimidate you. You’ll be surprised how quickly they’ll back down and (unfortunately) move onto someone else.

4. Dealing with Haraam

Remember that the eyes and the ears and the mouth are all gateways to the heart…and we want to try our best to get out of this world with pure hearts that reflect only Allah. When you see the haraam (prohibited) — and you will! — look away, lower the gaze. When you hear filth and profanity and vulgar discussions about the opposite gender, act bored. Most people just want an audience; when they see that you’re not interested, they’ll stop trying to impress you. And after hearing cussing and swearing from pretty much everyone around you, you too will one day be tempted to drop an F-bomb. Don’t. Dare to be different instead.

5. Dealing With Parents

 You will hear some kids constantly denigrating their parents. It’s generally considered “uncool” at this age to show love or respect for your parents. You’ll hear moms referred to as “stupid” and dads referred to as “a-holes”. If someone seems genuinely upset about something that they perceive to be an injustice, you can sympathize with them, but don’t ever let yourself be tempted to throw your own parents under the bus in an attempt to show others camaraderie and “understanding”. And don’t ever inadvertently encourage anyone else to be disrespectful of the very people who gave birth to them.

6. How to Study Well

Sit at the front of the class where you can focus on the board and hear the teacher clearly. The “cool kids” tend to want to sit in the back where it’s easier to get away with not paying attention. The ones who want A’s prefer to be where they can listen and focus. Set yourself up for success. And always remember the Hadith of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him): “Wisdom is the lost property of the believer, so wherever he finds it, he has a right to it.” Claim that beneficial knowledge, and don’t let anyone dare to steal it from you!

7. Respecting Teachers

Always greet and acknowledge your teachers. If you enjoyed a particular lesson or class, be sure to let them know. They’re working hard, and nothing makes them happier than knowing their students appreciate them and feel they are benefiting. When you go to the front office to pray, don’t just silently pass by the ladies at the front desk on your way to the conference room. Smile and say hello and ask them how their day is going. The same goes for taking the time to recognise the custodial staff, crossing guards, and parent volunteers. Adab (good manners) will earn you the respect of everyone, and it will get you far in life.

8. No Phone?

If anyone ever teases you for having a “lame” flip phone instead of a smartphone like “everyone else has”, let them know that you have been promised the same thing that your older brothers were promised — the latest iPhone on the day you graduate from high school and not a moment sooner. If anyone makes fun of you, just shrug and say, “Yeah, well, those are my parents’ rules — what can I do?” You don’t need to explain or defend or justify anything. At the end of the day, even your peers understand authority, and they will respect the fact that you have no choice but to acquiesce to it.

9. Feel Comfortable Sharing

If you ever feel like you can’t talk to me about something that’s bothering you, know that your father and brothers are there for you as well. We may not always be able to solve your problems (and you may not even want us to), but sometimes it just helps to get it out of your system by sharing your thoughts and anxieties with others. We can offer advice based on our own life experiences, or we can just listen. But remember that we’re on Team Raahim! We’re always here for you, insha’Allah, and you’re always in our duas.

10.  Final Advice

Remember the advice that Shaykh So-and-So gave you about high school — befriend “the academically-oriented kids”, study hard, get good grades, work out at least three times a week, avoid processed foods, and call on Allah for His Help at every turn.


With gratitude to Hina Khan-Mukhtar.


Resources for Seekers

Read this Wird Every Day for Protection, Insha’Allah

Shaykh Haisam Farache recently posted about this wird this on his Facebook page

Habib Kadhim (hafizahullah) during his recent visit to Australia, advised us to maintain the recitation of Wird Al-Habib Abu Bakr bin Abdur Rahman as-Sakran for ourselves and especially our children because we are in the End Times (a point he continually stressed during his visit) and the devils are not hiding anymore, they have become emboldened.

He also mentioned that in the Ahadith it has been related that they will emerge from the oceans and recite the Qur’an back at us mockingly.
A man will enter a Masjid and give an amazing lecture. The people will ask each other who that man was after he disappears without a trace, not knowing it was a shaytan disguised as a man, tricking them. The devils have a hatred for humans, especially those who love and worship God. They have envy towards them so be careful of their Evil Eye.
Maintain your adhkar for protection.
Please share widely.
DOWNLOAD: Wird al-Sakran
– Shaykh Haisam Farache

Parenting in the Age of Social Media, by Ustadha Rania Awaad & Hosai Mojaddidi

In a time where teens and youth are increasingly active on social media, parents and educators must stay informed and vigilant about the inherent and widespread dangers throughout the Internet. Ustadha Rania Awaad & Hosai Mojaddidi joined us for our April Friday Night Family night to explore the dangers and traps online designed to ensnare children. The speakers discussed the spiritual and mental health consequences of Internet negligence and offered practical solutions for increasing Internet safety.

Sister Hosai Mojaddid also provided these tips. This talk was delivered on April 21, 2017, as part of MCC’s monthly Family Night series when we invite insightful and influential American-Muslims who are making a positive impact on our community.

About the Speakers:

Ustadha Rania Awaad, MD, Clinical Director – Khalil Center, Bay Area
Raised in the U.S., Ustadha Rania Awaad began her formal study of the traditional Islamic sciences when her parents permitted her to travel to Damascus, Syria at the age of 14. Her desire to continue studying the Deen resulted in multiple trips back to Damascus, interspersed between her high school, college and medical studies. She was honored to receive Ijaazah (authorization to teach) several branches of the Shari’ah sciences at the hands of many renowned scholars, including many female scholars. She has received Ijaazah to teach Tajwid in both the Hafs and Warsh recitations from the late eminent Syrian scholar, Shaykh Abu Hassan al-Kurdi. In addition to completing several advanced texts of the Shafi’i madhhab, she is licensed to teach texts of Maliki fiqh, Adab and Ihsan. Currently, Ustadha Rania teaches online and local classes for The Rahmah Foundation, Rabata, and is on faculty of Zaytuna College where she teaches courses in Shafi’i fiqh, women’s issues in fiqh, and has helped develop and co-direct the Tajweed and Hifz progam.

Ustadha Rania also a medical doctor with a specialty in Psychiatry. She completed her Psychiatric residency and fellowship training at Stanford University where she is currently on the faculty as a Clinical Instructor in the Stanford Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences department. Her medical interests include addressing mental health care concerns in the Muslim community- particularly that of Muslim women and girls. She has been awarded grants from the NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health) to conduct research on this topic and has presented her findings at several medical conferences. Other on-going endeavors include the compilation of manuscripts addressing female-related mental health and medical issues from a fiqh-oriented perspective. She currently serves as the Director of the Rahmah Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to teaching Muslim women and girls traditional Islamic knowledge. In this capacity she also heads the Murbbiyah Mentoring Program which trains young women how to teach and mentor Muslim girls and teens. Ustadha Rania is both a wife and a mother; she has been counseling and teaching women classes on Tajwid, Shafi’i Fiqh, Ihsan, marriage and raising children since 1999.

Hosai Mojaddidi, Writer, Speaker & Co-Founder of mentalhealth4muslims.com
Hosai Mojaddidi is a second generation Afghan-American Muslim woman who is a freelance writer and editor and a lecturer on various Islamic/spiritual topics.

Sister Hosai Mojaddidi is also the co-founder of MH4M (www.mentalhealth4muslims.com), which was established in 2010. She started MH4M with Dr. Nafisa Sekandari because she is passionate about providing a unique and tailored approach to mental health support for the Muslim community which combines sound Islamic teachings with clinical science.

For nearly 20 years, she has also been actively involved in the Muslim community in the San Francisco Bay Area and southern California working and volunteering for several organizations including Peace Terrace Academy, Islamic Networks Group, Zaytuna Institute, Deen Intensive, Northstar School, (RIS) Reviving the Islamic Spirit, One Legacy Radio, Pillars Academy, Islamic Speakers Bureau of Southern California, Grand Mawlid, Rahmah Foundation, GiveLight Foundation, and Happy Hearts Learning Co-op.

In the various positions she’s held, and as a Qur’an teacher and lecturer over the years, she has been blessed to meet thousands of Muslims from different backgrounds and, in the process, develop many deep and lasting relationships both personally and professionally. She has also been able to gauge the mental health issues of the larger community firsthand by serving as a private mediator, advisor and mentor to many.

Resources for Seekers:

Shaykh Hamza Yusuf on The Social Costs of Pornography
Finding God Through The Chains Of Pornography Addiction
“Too Embarrassed to Talk About It”: Pornography Addiction and Some of Its Effects on Muslim Marital Life
Raising Your Children with Deen & Dunya – Radio Interview with Hina Khan-Mukhtar
Raising Children with Deen and Dunya
Making Ramadan a Time for Young Hearts to Grow
Ibn Khaldun on the instruction of children and its different methods
Islamic Parenting: Ten Keys to Raising Righteous Children
The Prophet Muhammad’s Love, Concern, & Kindness for Children
On Parents Showing Righteousness to Children

An Exhausted Mother’s Eid Reflections, from Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil gives thanks for the little things in life.

As I began to write this from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, my daughter sat beside me, playing with her Lego Duplo train set. Alhamdulilah, she turned two on Eid, and I am constantly reminded of the innumerable blessings and changes she has brought into my life.

On the morning of Eid, we drove to the nearby Kampung Tungku mosque to pray. I smiled at the families walking to the mosque ; young children were carried by their parents, the elderly were supported by their children, and everyone wore festive traditional clothes cut from the same bolt of cloth,

When we approached the mosque, the elderly were given the ground floor to pray, while the rest of us went up the stairs. To save time, I carried my toddler up, and got her settled in before Salatul Eid began. I sat closer to the back, next to another mother with her small children. My daughter was eager to wear her small telukong (prayer garment) after she saw me put mine on, alongside all the other women.

Right after I raised my hands in prayer, my daughter’s telukong slipped off her head. She’s still figuring out how to put it on by herself, so she repeatedly called out to me,  “Mummy, help Taskeen wear telukong.” I worried that ignoring her could lead to a tantrum, so I made dua that the imam would read one of the shorter chapters. I was reminded of this beautiful hadith:

It was narrated from ‘Abdullah bin Abi Qatadah, from his father that the Prophet (upon him be blessings and peace) said: “I stand in prayer, then I hear a child crying, so I make my prayer brief, because I do not want to cause hardship for his mother.” [Sunan An-Nasai]

This is the mercy of our Beloved Prophet (upon him be blessings and peace) who acknowledges the helplessness of a praying mother while her baby cries.

Last year, when my daughter was one, she cried and cried as I performed the Eid prayer. She was still so little then, so I broke my prayer, out of my own distress and my fear of distracting the rest of the congregation. Alhamdulilah, one year later, there was no crying, and she was able to wait until I finished two cycles of prayer. Progress! This is how I measure how far we have come: how much uninterrupted time I get in the bathroom; how many cycles I can pray before she starts calling for me, how long she can play with her toys on her own – these are the fruits of our hard, loving, real work together, as a family. My part-time jobs as a teacher and writer are my break from my full-time job as a mother.

Sadly, across the world today, we live in a time that does not value women’s work. There is no GDP or dollar sign attached to the countless tears we wipe away, the meals we lovingly prepare, and the endless diapers we change. And yet, these daily, loving acts of nurturing helps to build secure and loving human beings.

I am intimately connected now, to the brutal truth that comes with raising a child. It is relentless, everyday toil that brings both joy and pain. On good days, my toddler warms my heart with her memorable antics. On bad days, I struggle to stay calm in the face of the emotions that overwhelm her.

In the light of my all-consuming stage of motherhood, I look back wistfully to my past Ramadans of long nights of worship and Qur’anic recitation. I cannot help but compare these blessed times to the bare bones Ramadan since my baby was born. I can only pray and hope that Allah will accept the little that I do now, help me do better, and overlook my imperfections.

There has been so much tragedy this past Ramadan. I reflect on the violence perpetrated by ISIS and other extremists, and I wonder what went wrong. What broke inside these young men, to make them such vessels of violence? How can they commit these atrocities, in the name of a religion that cares deeply for the welfare of plants, animals, children, women and men? I can only pray that the light and mercy of Islam reaches their veiled hearts.

If you are an exhausted mother reading this, then trust that Allah knows every ache of your tired heart. Nothing is lost on Him – every tear you shed, every smile you bravely wear for your children, and everything you have sacrificed for them. God willing, your loving presence with your children will plant seeds of Prophetic mercy in their hearts. Your innumerable hours, days and years with them are never, ever wasted.

May these seeds we plant sprout strong, deep roots. May our children be the vanguards and sources of light and peace in a world so fractured by hatred and violence.

Resources for seekers on motherhood and parenting

Muslim Convert: Betraying A Parent by Becoming Muslim?

When adopting the faith of one parent seems like you’re betraying the other.

Whilst Leanna was searching for the truth, she was reunited with her biological father who turned out to be Muslim. But embracing his faith would mean that she’d betrayed the woman who raised her. Watch on to see how God guided her and helped her overcome…

We are grateful to Overcome TV for this recording.

Resources for Seekers

Parents – Your Door to Allah’s Acceptance, by Ustadh Uthman Bally

Sometimes a door to Allah is opened in the form of a good deed, such as praying or giving charity but then the door of acceptance is still closed. Through parents, this final door can be opened. parents the door to acceptanceUstadh Uthman Bally recounts story upon wonderful story of how the relationship with our parents can have a major effect on our futures.

From a companion of the Prophet who couldn’t say the kalima on his deathbed until his mother forgave him for his harsh tongue, to the grandson of the Prophet who would never share a plate of food with her mother for fear that he would take a piece that she wanted. Then there’s the people who gave joy to others that their joy became angels that praised God until the Day of Judgement, and the man who gave away his one good deed.

“You might do a very small act, which then becomes your opening.”

We are grateful to Ha Meem Foundation for this recording

Resources for Seekers