Question: I am converted and recently found a person I want to complete my deen with. We both agree to marry and I am very sure. What I fear is my parents because they are non-Muslim and in this case, I wonder… how much of their wishes should I obey as I have a duty towards them as a Muslim?
Answer: I want to congratulate you on finding a Muslim spouse that is suitable for you and someone that you can complete your religion with.
There is naturally going to be discomfort and fear that arises between parents and a child when that child is choosing a new path and way of life. This however, is not a reason to not move forward.
You should first pray Istikhara: The Prayer of Seeking Guidance and make sure that you have asked Allah to guide you in this decision. If you still feel positive, you can gently explain to your parents what is happening. They may not agree, but you can respectfully tell them that you have made your decision (assuming you are over 18 years old) and will go ahead with it. It is not your duty to obey them in this matter, because they are not Muslim. Your duty is to be kind and respectful to them. If marrying this man hurts them, it would not be sinful.
Respect and kindness
You can involve them in the wedding process, tell them how well he treats you, visit them when you can, and call them regularly. It is these little things that make a person feel loved, included, and involved. When you treat your parents like this, they will get on your side very quickly. When they see how you live as a Muslim, it may even change their own hearts towards Islam.
If you have no Muslim guardian, you may authorize a male Muslim who is legally upright to act as your guardian in marrying you to the groom. [Mughni al-muhtaj ila ma’rifa ma’ani alfaz al-Minhaj]
May Allah bless you both in this union.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.