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Since the Birth of My Baby, I No Longer Pray. What Do I Do?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: Assalam alaykum,

Before marriage, I prayed five times a day. I no longer do that, now that I am married, with a one year old baby. Now I am lost in sins, watch bad things, and backbite. What do I do?

Answer: Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.

Repentance

“And seek the Forgiveness of Allah, certainly, Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [Qur’an, 4:106]

Allah loves you, and wants good for you. Ask for forgiveness from Him, commit to paying back the prayers you have missed, and renew your intention to worship Him.

Support

Raising a young baby can be very exhausting and stressful. Please reach out for help. Do you have family you can count on to look after your baby at least once a week, even for an hour or two? Can you hire a trustworthy babysitter?

Use this time to nap, read a book, go for a walk, or whatever else brings you joy.

Reflection

Once you have some time to think, then ask yourself why your prayers are slipping. Is it the exhaustion that comes with raising a baby, or something else? Make dua for Allah to help you, strive to give in regular charity, and slowly remove whatever displeases Allah from your daily life.

Please listen to this podcast series to help rejuvenate your heart: The Rawha.

Husband

Alhamdulillah, you describe your husband as being a good man who establishes his prayers. Ask him for help. Ask him to help wake you up for Fajr, and also for Isha, if you fall asleep.

I pray that Allah grants you courage, steadfastness, and brings you back to daily prayer.

Please see:

How Should I Go About Making up a Lot of Missed Prayers?
Selected Prophetic Prayers for Spiritual, Physical and Emotional Wellbeing by Chaplain Ibrahim Long

Wassalam,

[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.

Can I Take My Child to the Mosque or Make Tawaf With Him?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam alaykum

Is it true that we can’t take young children into a mosque and that we can’t perform the circumambulation (tawaf) with them?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

No, it is permitted to take young children into the mosque area as long as you are reasonably sure they won’t (1) disturb other worshippers, and (2) violate the sanctity of the mosque by soiling it.

The tradition (hadith) found in Ibn Majah interdicting their entry is understood to be in the case there is reasonable likelihood of one of the two aforementioned considerations. Otherwise, it would be permissible, yet usually improper unless there is a need, as is the case with infants wearing soiled nappies. Children who have been taught to revere the sanctity of the mosque, however, are permitted to enter without any dislike.

As for carrying your child whilst their nappy is soiled during the circumambulation (tawaf), it would be permitted, yet improper and disliked. This is because it is a sunna for your body and clothing to be free from filth during the circumambulation, and doing contrary to the dictates of a sunna does not necessitate a formal penalty.

[Qari, al-Maslak al-Mutaqassit (103); Ibn `Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar `ala al-Durr al-Mukhtar (1.441), with Rafi`i’s Taqrirat; Kirmani, al-Masalik fi al-Manasik (1.442); Ibn al-Diya’, al-Bahr al-`Amiq (2.1135)]

Please also see: What Are the Rulings of Performing Tawaf, Sa’y, and Prayer While Carrying a Baby With Dirty Diapers (Nappies)?and: Does Carrying a Soiled Baby Invalidate the Prayer?

And Allah Most High alone knows best.

wassalam,

[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Tabraze Azam holds a BSc in Computer Science from the University of Leicester, where he also served as the President of the Islamic Society. He memorised the entire Qur’an in his hometown of Ipswich at the tender age of sixteen, and has since studied the Islamic Sciences in traditional settings in the UK, Jordan and Turkey. He is currently pursuing advanced studies in Jordan, where he is presently based with his family.

What Is the Correct Method to Clean a Baby Who Urinates in the Bathtub as I Wash Him?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: As salamu alaykum,

What is the correct method to clean a baby who urinates in the bathtub as I wash him?

My wife refuses to wash him down on the basis that only a small amount urine has been added to the larger volume of clean water.

Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

Legally, the urine of a baby is the same as the urine of an adult, namely, ritually filthy. Thus, if it falls into a small body of water, such as a bath tub, it would make the entire contents filthy and unsuitable for ritual purification.

As for the tradition (hadith) in which the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) “sprinkled water” over a baby’s urine, it is understood to refer to washing by pouring water over the area, as the commentators explain.

However, bearing in mind the hardship involved in bathing the baby in water at an appropriate temperature, and the fact that the baby obviously isn’t called upon to be in a state of ritual purification, his urinating in the tub would be somewhat excusable.

Nevertheless, you would still need to wash your own hands afterwards to rid them of the traces of filthy water, and similarly any traces on your person in the case of splashes and the like. Having said that, what would be superior is to give him a brief rinse at the end with some clean water as doing otherwise would be contrary to propriety and the way of excellence.

[Mawsili, al-Ikhtiyar li Ta`lil al-Mukhtar (1.114)]

Please also see: Are the Urine, Feces and Vomit of a Baby Filthy According to the Maliki School?

And Allah Most High alone knows best.

wassalam,
[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Tabraze Azam was born and raised in Ipswich, England, a quiet town close to the east coast of England. His journey for seeking sacred knowledge began when he privately memorized the entire Qur’an in his hometown at the age of 16. He also had his first experience in leading the tarawih (nightly-Ramadan) prayers at his local mosque. Year after year he would continue this unique return to reciting the entire Quran in one blessed month both in his homeland, the UK, and also in the blessed lands of Shaam, where he now lives, studies and teaches.

Can I Pray While Sitting and Nursing so as to Not Miss the Prayer Time?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam alaikum,

Sometimes when I am nursing my daughter she nurses from before the start of prayer through to the passing of the prayer time. It is hard to unlatch her as she will cry inconsolably.

Can I pray while sitting and nursing so as not to miss the prayer time?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

The basis is that the prayer cannot be delayed passed its time except by way of a genuine excuse which has been affirmed and validated by the jurists (fuqaha). [Ibn Nujaym, al-Bahr al-Ra’iq (2.85)]

Having said that, there are texts in the Hanafi School which would appear to permit the nursing woman to delay the prayer if her child would: (a) cry from hunger and (b) actually suffer real and serious harm from the delay. Harm would be that which is established through expert medical opinion, past relevant experience or clear signs, confirmed with living jurists (not just a local Imam or religious person) who attest to the soundness of the conclusions made. [Zahidi, Qunyat al-Munya (57), as quoted by Lacknawi in his Naf` al-Mufti wa al-Sa’il (181)]

As a matter of fact, Imam Lacknawi lists over ten cases in which the jurists have deemed delaying the prayer as valid, permissible and not sinful, but obviously with the proviso that it is done so soundly and with all of its requisite conditions. [Lacknawi, Naf` al-Mufti wa al-Sa’il (178-182)]

However, the reality is that the prayer need not take more than a few minutes at any given time, and in the vast majority of cases, the child is not going to suffer any medical harm if their feed is delayed for some moments, particularly if they have fed for an extended period of time already. As such, I’d advise striving to pray at the first of the time, asking Allah Most High for facilitation and ease, and then feed, remaining conscious of the prayer times (with alarms, if necessary), so that you can organise and feed around them. I’d also recommend seeking some medical assistance to ensure everything is going as it should.

Please also see: Can I Delay Prayers During Emergency Situations? and: Attending Juma, Praying and Fasting While Training to be a Firefighter

And Allah alone knows best.

wassalam,
Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

في البحر الرايق: وَيَجُوزُ تَأْخِيرُ الصَّلَاةِ عَنْ وَقْتِهَا لِعُذْرٍ كَمَا قَالَ الْوَلْوَالِجِيُّ فِي فَتَاوِيهِ الْقَابلَةِ إذَا اشْتَغَلْت بِالصَّلَاةِ تَخَافُ أَنْ يَمُوتَ الْوَلَدُ لَا بَأْسَ بِأَنْ تُؤَخِّرَ الصَّلَاةَ وَتُقْبِلَ عَلَى الْوَلَدِ لِأَنَّ تَأْخِيرَ الصَّلَاةِ عَنْ الْوَقْتِ يَجُوزُ بِعُذْرٍ ا هـ .
وفي نفع المفتي والسائل: فلو كانت امرأة اشتغلت بالصلاة يبكي ولدها بالجوع ويضرّ عليه ضررا غالبا وإن أرضعته يفوت الوقت جاز لها أن ترضعه وتؤخّر الصلاة … كذا في القنية ا هـ .
وفي القنية: لو اشتغلت بالصلاة يبكي ولدها وإن أرضعته يفوت الوقت ترضعه إذا خافت عليه ضررا غالبا ا هـ .

Are the Urine, Feces and Vomit of a Baby Filthy According to the Maliki School?

Answered by Ustadh Tariq Abdul-Rasheed
Question: Do the urine, stool, vomit etc of a baby count as najasa in the maliki madhab? The baby is both breast fed and formula fed.
Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful, and blessings and peace upon our master Muhammad, his family, companions and those who follow their noble way.
As salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
Impurity of Urine and Feces
Urine and feces are both considered impure in the Maliki school whether from a child or an adult. [Hashiya Dusuqi]
Purity of Vomit and Burping (Belching)
Vomit is considered pure unless the color, taste or smell of it has changed from the original state of food after having been settled in the stomach. This is usually discernible if the vomit has acidified and/or has a foul odor. Vomit would also be considered impure if it resembles feces [Hashiya Dusuqi]
Burping accompanied with food or liquid (known as qalas) is considered pure unless it resembles feces. [Hashiya Dusuqi]
The difference between vomit and burping is that vomit is what is forced up from the stomach after having settled in the stomach. Whereas, burping accompanied with food or liquid is what is forced up from the stomach as a result of a full stomach. However, the food or drink never actually settles in the stomach.
Dispensation from removing filth for mothers and wet-nurses
Due to the difficulty of remaining free from filth while nursing a child the scholars have allowed a dispensation for nursing mothers and wet nurses. Meaning that if due precaution is taken to prevent impurities from reaching the body and clothes when the child urinates or defecates it is recommended and not obligatory to remove the filth (from the body or clothing) if it is excessive (even if she sees the filth).
This ruling also applies if she is in doubt about whether or not filth is on her body or clothing. That is, she is not obliged nor is it recommended to sprinkle water on her body or clothing if she has doubts about filth being on them.
Finally, it is recommended for her to have a separate set of clothes for prayer but not obligatory. [Hashiya Dusuqi]
This dispensation is based on the following verses of the Holy Quran and is the well-known opinion of the Maliki school:
“He has chosen you and has not placed upon you in the religion any difficulty.” [Surah Hajj: 87]
“Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity.” [Surah Baqarah: 286]
“For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.” [Surah Sharh: 5]
Baraka Allahu feekum and Allah knows best.
Tariq Abdul-Rasheed

What Are the Rulings of Performing Tawaf, Sa’y, and Prayer While Carrying a Baby With Dirty Diapers (Nappies)?

Answered by Ustadh Faraz A. Khan

Question: Assalamu Alaikum,

I have a question regarding Umrah/Hajj. My husband and I are planning on performing Umrah this year inshAllah. we intend to take our 8 month year old baby as well. What I’d like to know is, is ones umrah valid if they’re carrying a baby on the tawaf/sai since obviously the babies nappy will contain impurity?

( I would like the Hanafi position please)

JazakAllah Khair

Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

I pray this finds you in the best of health and faith.

The following is based on the Hanafi school:

(1) For tawaf, it is wajib that an area of one’s garment of the size that covers the awra to be free of filth (najasa). Regarding the rest of one’s clothing, it is sunna for it to be free of filth. [Ibn Nujaym, Bahr al-Ra’iq; Fatawa Hindiyya; Qari, Sharh Lubab al-Manasik]

Hence, performing tawaf while carrying a baby whose diaper/nappy contains filth would be valid, although preferable to avoid.

(2) For sa’y, it is preferable (mustahabb) for the garment to be free of filth. [Qari, Sharh Lubab al-Manasik]

Hence, carrying such a baby is fine during sa’y as well.

(3) For any prayer, one cannot carry a baby whose diaper/nappy contains filth [i.e., more than the excused amount]. Doing so would invalidate the prayer. [Shurunbulali, Maraqi ‘l-Falah]

Hence, for all prayers, including the two rakats of tawaf performed after tawaf, one may not hold a baby with a dirty diaper. Perhaps you and your spouse could take turns holding the baby while the other prays.

And Allah alone gives success.

wassalam

Faraz A. Khan

Does Carrying a Soiled Baby Invalidate the Prayer?

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Question: I’ve learned in the Shafi’i madhab one’s prayer is invalid if one is praying while supporting filth. I was wondering is that the same in the Hanafi Madhab? For example, if one is praying and a baby with a dirty diaper jumps on you, is that prayer invalid?

Answer: Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you in the best of health and spirits.

If a baby with dirty diapers jumps on you, you should put them down without excessive delay. If you do so, your prayer remains valid.

It is permitted to carry babies if they’re clean, as is established from the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) with his noble grandchildren (Allah be pleased with them).

And Allah alone gives success.

Faraz Rabbani

(Originally answered on the SeekersGuidance Academy’s Absolute Essentials of Islam Course Forum)