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Can I Ignore the Calls of Someone Who Is Trying to Misguide Me?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: Assalam alaykum,

I am a convert to Islam. I befriended someone who I believe is trying to misguide me. Is it permissible for me to ignore his calls?

Answer: Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allai wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for seeking out an answer.

Faith

Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet, upon him be blessings and peace, said: “The most perfect believer in respect of faith is he who is best of them in manners.” [Sunan Abi Dawud]

Your priority is to safeguard your Islam, above all else. If you do cross paths with this person, then give him salams, but do not go out of your way to spend time with him. Always uphold excellent character, no matter where you are, or who you are with.

In short, if you fear that his influence will misguide you, then it is permissible for you to ignore his calls.

Education

It would be wise for you study at SeekersHub in order to lay a strong foundation in Islam. There is a wide selection of classes to choose from, and I encourage you to solidify your belief through a course such as Essentials of Islamic Belief: Dardir’s Kharida Explained.

Support

It is important for converts like you to establish a strong support network. Find like-minded brothers you can spend time with. You will often find good people at good places such as mosques, community hubs, chaplain’s offices, and so on.

I encourage you to perform the Prayer of Need and ask Allah for support and steadfastness.

I pray that Allah strengthens your iman, sends you good company, and makes you a means of good in this world and the next. Please keep in touch with us at SeekersHub.

Please see:

Can I Cut Ties With a Muslim Friend Who Is a Bad Influence?
084 – Good Company in Seeking Knowledge | Seeking Supplications

Wassalam,

[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.

How to Avoid Cutting Ties With People and Bad Company at the Same Time?

Answered by Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan

Question: Assalam alaykum,

When is something considered cutting ties as opposed to avoiding company of people who may either cause you to waste time in frivolous talk or may lead to sin such as backbiting?

Answer: Wa alaykum salam

Thank you for your question

There are two important considerations regarding your question. The types of ties one may have and what constitutes maintaining ties.

Types of ties:

Muslims are encouraged to maintain good ties with all. However, the emphasis of maintaining ties differ from person to person. Keeping ties of kinship, by way of example, is compulsory; while extrafamilial ties do not share the same ruling.

What constitutes keeping ties:

Imam al-Nawawi defined maintaining ties as, “showing kindness to relatives according to your condition and there’s. This could be through financial support; offering your services; and at times by visiting or greeting and so forth.” [Sharh Sahih Muslim]

Ibn Hajar explained it as, “the comprehensive meaning (of joining ties) is to offer all possible good and removing all possible harm. If however, they are disbelievers (apostates) or wrong doers, then severing ties with them for the sake of Allah, is the (prescribed) form of joining ties.” [Fath al-Bari]

Your question:

Avoiding the company of someone, family or other, does not constitute severing ties, as long as you are there to assist when assistance is required, and that you try visiting once in a while. In addition, avoiding the company of someone that may be the cause that you become sinful, is definitely encouraged.

However, given the sad state of the ummah, this may require one to go in seclusion which is not practical. What would be better for you, is to develop tactics when interacting with people. By way of example, if someone was to speak ill of another and you are able to state that this is sinful then do so. If you cannot, then try changing the topic. If you unable to do that as well, then excuse yourself, politely, and walk away. I’ve noticed that when people realize that you do not want to hear backbiting, they refrain from doing so when you are in their company.

May Allah protect us from all actions that are displeasing to him. May He guide us and make us a means for the guidance of others, amin.

And Allah knows best

Wassalam
[Shaykh] Abdurragmaan Khan

Shaykh Abdurragmaan
received ijazah ’ammah from various luminaries, including but not restricted to: Habib Umar ibn Hafiz—a personality who affected him greatly and who has changed his relationship with Allah, Maulana Yusuf Karaan—the former Mufti of Cape Town; Habib ‘Ali al-Mashhur—the current Mufti of Tarim; Habib ‘Umar al-Jaylani—the Shafi‘i Mufti of Makkah; Sayyid Ahmad bin Abi Bakr al-Hibshi; Habib Kadhim as-Saqqaf; Shaykh Mahmud Sa’id Mamduh; Maulana Abdul Hafiz al-Makki; Shaykh Ala ad-Din al-Afghani; Maulana Fazlur Rahman al-Azami and Shaykh Yahya al-Gawthani amongst others.

What Should I Do With Friends Who Swear and Backbite?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Question: Asalamu’alaykum Wa rahmatullahi Wa barakatu
What should I do with friends who swear and backbite?
Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray this finds you well.
Good or bad influence
The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “A person is on the religion of his close friend, so let him carefully examine who he befriends.” [Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud]
If you feel your friends would listen to your suggestion, then it would be better for you to advise them in private. If you feel that they would be resistant and perhaps even get angry at you, then it would be better to reduce your interaction with them.
Friends rub off on each other, for better or for worse.
If you fear that prolonged interaction with your friends would cause you to also engage in gossiping and/or swearing, then it would be best for you to keep company with people of better character and behaviour.
The ruling on swearing
Is it impermissible to tell inappropriate jokes?
Smoking marijuana and the importance of keeping good company
Raidah Shah Idil
Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.