I Want to Become a Scholar in Islam, but My Mother Wants Me to Get Married and Have Children. What Do I Do?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: I want to live a life of seeking knowledge and teaching. My dream is to be an exegete of the Qur’an. My family wants me to get married, but I feel my time will be consumed by this. My mother will be upset if I do not get married. I feel like my life is being controlled by them. What should I do?

Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah grant you clarity in your confusion. Please forgive me for my delay.

Goodness to parents

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (upon him be blessings and peace) said, “May he be disgraced! May he be disgraced! May he be disgraced, whose parents, one or both, attain old age during his lifetime, and he does not enter Jannah (by rendering being dutiful to them)” [Muslim]

MashaAllah, it is heartening to see a young person so keen to benefit the ummah. I pray that Allah rewards you for your intention. However, as with all things, the key is balance. In many ways, it would seem more noble to study and teach ‘ilm. However, for as long as your parents are alive, serving them is a means of attaining Jannah.

I urge you to complete watching this excellent talk to give you a better idea of the great reward in being of service to your parents: How To Develop Meaningful Relationships With Parents (Shaykh Faraz Rabbani, Shaykh Zahir Bacchus & Shaykh Rami Nsour)


Please perform the Prayer of Guidance and ask Allah to help you choose which path to take. If Allah facilitates ease in travelling to learn Arabic, then that is your path. If Allah blocks that path and makes it easier for you to stay with your family, then that is your path.


It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah (upon him be blessings and peace) said: “Richness is not an abundance of worldly goods; rather richness is contentment with one’s lot.” [Sunan Ibn Majah]

If you long for what Allah does not will for you, then you are only fanning the flames of your own heartbreak. Please perform the Prayer of Need and ask Allah to grant you contentment with His Decree, in whatever form it takes. Trust that He knows what is truly beneficial for you, in both worlds.


Your life is not wasted because you have not memorised Qur’an. Do not despair – this is a trap of the Shaytan. Your life has unfolded exactly as Allah has willed it, because this is what is best for you. There is still time for you to commit to memorising the Qur’an, inshaAllah. Consult a local scholar and come up with a plan.


It was narrated from Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allah (upon him be blessings and peace) said: “Marriage is part of my sunnah, and whoever does not follow my sunnah has nothing to do with me. Get married, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations. Whoever has the means, let him get married, and whoever does not, then he should fast for it will diminish his desire.” [Sunan Ibn Majah]

There are lessons which you can only learn through being married and having children. No level of theoretical knowledge can match the lived experience of exercising patience, forgiveness, mercy and gratitude every single day.

I encourage you to complete this course Islamic Marriage: Guidance for Successful Marriage and Married Life to better prepare you for marriage. Nothing is hard for Allah; if He wills, He can send you a wife who is supportive of your desire to learn and teach. Have high hopes in Your Merciful Lord.

Please refer to the following links:

Positive Spiritual Thinking: Choosing Mindfulness (taqwa) and Embracing Trust (tawakkul) by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Supplication for Those Who Want to Memorize the Qur’an
I Want to Study Islam Abroad But Parents Insist on Me Staying at Home


Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Photo: Ferdinand Reus

Is It Sinful to Seek Knowledge without Trying to Become a Scholar?

Answered by Ustadh Amjad Tarsin

Question: I have two things running through my mind. First, is it okay for me to want to study arabic and the sciences of Islam and not have a pursuit to be a shaykh? Also I don’t always agree with interpretations from our scholars.

Secondly, could you enlighten me more about interfaith marriage keeping in mind that I am a revert?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

May Allah grant you His enabling grace in seeking knowledge and make it a means of increased guidance and nearness to Him. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Seeking knowledge is an obligation upon every Muslim.” [Ibn Majah, Tabarani].

One’s intention in seeking knowledge should be fulfilling this obligation and recognizing that it is through knowledge that one is able to worship Allah properly. One should not seek knowledge in order to become famous online or otherwise–it should be internalized first and foremost, sincerely seeking Allah’s good pleasure alone.

Seeking knowledge is a source of reward, blessings, and guidance for those who do so for Allah’s sake. Doubts about seeking knowledge or fear of being held accountable for what one knows are deterrents from the devil. Do not be scared about seeking knowledge, but recognize it as a duty, and seek Allah’s assistance in its pursuit and implementation.

Secondly, when it comes to not agreeing with interpretations of scholars, there are a few things to keep in mind. Without knowledge, one is not really able to accurately disagree with scholarly opinions. Just because we may not personally agree with something does not necessarily mean that it is not true or does not have a basis. Also, when one seeks knowledge, the opinions of the scholars begin to make more sense because we learn the proofs they base their positions upon. As Allah states in the Qur’an: “Ask those who have knowledge if you do not know.” (16.43)

When looking to get married, know that the most spiritually sound and emotionally fulfilling way of doing so is the way taught to us by Allah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) . As Allah the Sublime and Exalted says in the Qur’an: “Another of His signs is that He created spouses from among yourselves for you to live with in tranquillity: He ordained love and kindness between you. There truly are signs in this for those who reflect.” (Quran 30.21). Also, even where a Muslim man may marry a woman from the People of the Book, the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) encouraged foremost marrying a woman of piety and deep connection to Allah and His Messenger.

And Allah knows best and His assistance is sought.

Amjad Tarsin

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Can I Become a Scholar By Studying With SeekersGuidance?

Answered by Shaykh Rami Nsour

Question: Asalamu alaikum, I want to become a scholar of history and I do not know of many avenues I can take to study. I am a woman who can not travel without a mahram and though I have many male siblings none is even willing to take me to the next state over, let alone another country to study. Can I become a scholar of history by taking classes on your website?

Answer: Wa alaykum as salam wa rahmatullah,

May Allah aid you in your pursuit of knowledge. The best thing that a Muslim can do is study.

You can very well begin your path to scholarship through our online courses. You will begin by gaining a firm foundation in your basics, meet teachers who can guide you, and fellow students to assist you on your journey.

As you grow in your studies, you can pursue higher studies online with us or be put in contact with scholars who you might be able to study with in person. The important thing is to begin right away!

Sign up now for a course on basic belief and worship such as the following:

Islamic Beliefs for Seekers: Dardir’s Kharidah Explained

Islamic Law for Seekers (Hanafi, Part I): Worship