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Infertility: Why does Allah Not Bless Some With Children?

As part of the SeekersHub Ramadan series, Supplications from the Qur’an, Shaykh Ahmed Sa’ad al-Azhari addressed a sensitive and sometimes painful topic:

Infertility

Why does Allah bless some of us with children, and others not? Is it better to be a happy, childless couple than to be an unhappy pair of parents to a child, who has been sent to test us? When praying for Allah to grant us children, what should we pray for – just any child or one that is a “trust bearer”?

This is a beautiful, concise explanation – just ten minutes, that is sure to move you and humble you.

Listen to it on our podcast or watch it here:

 

Resources on infertility and parenting:

The Powerful Dua of a Parent
Maryam: Blessed Mother & Child
Raising a Muslim with Manners
Prophetic Advice For Raising Righteous Children
Raising Children with Deen and Dunya
Making Ramadan a Time for Young Hearts to Grow
Ibn Khaldun on the instruction of children and its different methods
Islamic Parenting: Ten Keys to Raising Righteous Children
The Prophet Muhammad’s Love, Concern, & Kindness for Children
On Parents Showing Righteousness to Children
Habib ‘Umar bin Hafiz’s advice on duas to read during pregnancy and labour and for infertility

Praying for a Trust Bearer: On Child-Bearing, Surat al-Anbiyā’ (verse 89), Duas from the Qur’an Explained

You’re listening to a series of lessons on important duas found in the Qur’an, as explained by Shaykh Ahmed Sa’ad Al Azhari – a distinguished master of the Qur’an and scholar in residence at Seekershub Toronto during Ramadan 2015.

Shaykh Ahmed addresses a sensitive and sometimes painful topic: why does Allah bless some of us with children, and others not? Is it better to be a happy, childless couple than to be an unhappy pair of parents to a child, who has been sent to test us? When praying for Allah to grant us children, what should we pray for – just any child or one that is a “trust bearer”?

This is a beautiful, concise explanation – just ten minutes, that is sure to move you and humble you.

All SeekersHub programming during this blessed month is freely available at the Ramadan Hub. Your financial support is crucial to our #SpreadLight campaign, which seeks to provide truly excellent Islamic learning to at least 1,000,000 seekers of knowledge in the coming year! This will serve as an ongoing charity (sadaqa jariyah) so please donate today.

The Powerful Dua of a Parent

In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful

All praises are for Allah SWT, the most Compassionate, the most Forgiving.

Salutations and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad SAW, his family and companions.

Oh Allah, I submit myself to You.

I realize that parenting a child is a very difficult task and I turn to You in humility for Your help.

I implore You for Your wisdom and guidance.

Oh Allah, I know that our children are an amaanat from You, to care for and to raise in a manner that is pleasing to You.

Help me do that in the best way.

Teach me how to love in a way that You would have me love.

Help me where I need to be healed, improved, nurtured, and made whole.

Help me walk in righteousness and integrity so that You may always be pleased with me.

Allow me to be a God-fearing role model with all the communication, teaching, and nurturing skills that I may need.

Oh Allah, You know what our children need. Help and guide us in praying for our children.

Oh Allah, put a hedge of safety around our children. Protect their bodies, minds, and emotions from any kind of evil and harm.

Oh Allah, I pray that You protect them from accidents, diseases, injuries, and any other physical, mental, or emotional afflictions and abuse.

Oh Allah, I pray that You keep our children free from any addictions and vices.

Draw them close to You for protection from every ill and evil influence of our society, whether it’s apparent to us or not.

Oh Allah, grant them the best of company as their friends — people who will inspire them to love and worship and obey You.

Oh Allah, grant our children hidaaya and a heart that loves to obey You.

Shine Your light on any secret or unseen rebellion in their hearts and destroy it before it takes root.

Oh Allah, guide them away from any pride, selfishness, jealousy, hypocrisy, malice, and greed and make them uncomfortable with sins.

Penetrate their hearts with Your love and reverence today and always.

Oh Allah, make apparent to them the truth in any situation and let them not be misled by falsehood.

Oh Allah, grant our children the ability to make clear decisions and let them always be attracted to good things that are pure, noble, true, and just.

Oh Allah, guide them in making choices that please You.

Oh Allah, help them to taste the sweetness of walking with a humble spirit in obedience and submission to You.

Oh Allah, grant them the wisdom to choose their words carefully and bless them with a generous and caring spirit.

Oh Allah, I pray that they never stray from the path of deen and that You give them a future filled with Your best promises.

Oh Allah, always keep our children cleansed and pure from evil and shaytaan.

Oh Allah, keep them steadfast in establishing Salaah and help them revere the Glorious Quran as Your Word and Law and to read it with understanding daily. Let it be their source of light and guidance.

Oh Allah, let our daughters love wearing hijab and our sons the dress of a humble Muslim.

Let their dress be a representation of their Imaan and of their love and respect for Your commands.

Lead them to a position where they rely truly on Your power alone and fear You in the open and in secret.

Oh Allah, make them so strong in their deen that they never encounter doubt.

Oh Allah, do not allow any negative attitudes in the place of our children’s lives.

Oh Allah, guide our children in honouring and obeying You, Your Rasool (peace be upon him), and us as parents (when we are commanding that which is pleasing to You).

Make them the coolness of our eyes.

Oh Allah, fill our children with compassion and caring that will overflow to each member of our family.

Oh Allah, grant them piety.

Oh Allah, help them love, value, appreciate, and respect one another with good communication between them always.

Oh Allah, drive out any division between our children and bring them healing.

I pray there be no strain, breach, misunderstanding, arguing, fighting, or severing of ties.

Oh Allah, allow them to one day marry righteous, God-fearing, kind, hard-working, intelligent, beautiful, healthy spouses who get along with and respect and love (and genuinely enjoy) every member of our family and who lead our children (i.e. their spouses) even closer to You and Jannat ul Firdaus.

Oh Allah, please grant me the company of pious friends, relatives, extended community members, and teachers who will be inspirational role models for my children and will help me raise them to be the best of believers.

Oh Allah, please don’t let me become self-satisfied and arrogant in my parenting, but please don’t humble me or shame me through my children’s misdeeds either. Please let me always give credit for their good character to You and please don’t ever let me stop praying for them.

Oh Allah, please don’t let my children be “late” in meeting any of life’s milestones that are expected of them.

Oh Allah, protect my children from debt. Make them givers and not takers.

Oh Allah, grant my children noble professions with halal incomes that give them respect and dignity in Your Eyes and in the eyes of their fellow human beings.

Oh Allah, grant them worldly comfort so that my children can come to You through the Door of Gratitude and so that they are not forced to come to You through the Door of Patience. Please let them always be grateful…and patient.

Oh Allah, I pray for a close, loving, happy and fulfilling relationship with them for all the days of our lives and to be reunited with them in Jannat ul Firdaus. آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ


Edited by Hina Khan-Mukhtar, who said, “This list of duas was not started by me but I edited it and added a few of my own and am now sharing…feel free to add your own and continue sharing!” Khan-Mukhtar is a mother of three boys and one of the founders of the homeschooling co-operative known as ILM Tree in Lafayette, California, which now serves over 30 homeschooling families in the East Bay. In addition to teaching Language Arts to elementary, middle school, and high school students, she has written articles on parenting and spiritual traditions for children and is involved in interfaith dialogue.

 

Resources for Seekers:

Why does Allah Bless Some with Children and Others not?
Raising Your Children with Deen & Dunya – Radio Interview with Hina Khan-Mukhtar
Raising Children with Deen and Dunya
Making Ramadan a Time for Young Hearts to Grow
Ibn Khaldun on the instruction of children and its different methods
Islamic Parenting: Ten Keys to Raising Righteous Children
The Prophet Muhammad’s Love, Concern, & Kindness for Children
On Parents Showing Righteousness to Children
Habib ‘Umar bin Hafiz’s advice on duas to read during pregnancy and labour and for infertility

Habib ‘Umar bin Hafiz’s advice on duas to read during pregnancy and labour

Students of Habib ‘Umar bin Hafiz collected this list of recommendations some years ago, for those amongst us who are pregnant or struggling with infertility.

Daily

  • Surah Inshiqaq (Surah 84) – to be recited daily throughout the pregnancy
  • Surah Luqman (Surah 31) – to be recited daily during the 1st trimester when the baby’s brain, mental faculties and nervous system are developing
  • Surah Yusuf (Surah 12) – to be recited in the 2nd trimester when the child’s physical appearance is forming
  • Surah Maryam (Surah 19) – to be recited in the 3rd trimester as labour approaches
  • Ya Lateef” – to be recited 129 times every morning and evening

7th month only

  • The husband should recite Surah Inshirah (Surah 94) 152 times on the baby

Labour

  • The first ayat of Surah al-Fath’ (Surah 48)
  • Ya Lateef”
  • Surah Maryam (Surah 19)
  • Surah Inshirah (Surah 94)
  • As salaam Alaikum ayuha-nabee wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu”

General advice

  • Shaykh Muhammad Ba Shu’ayb once advised, for the sake of any children we are to have to recite all our adhkar and awrad everyday and to ensure that we pray as many prayers in congregation with our spouse.
  • Read as much Qur’an as possible.
  • Try and do as much salawat on the Prophet (saw) as possible – in particular Salat al-Tunjina’ and “As salaam Alaikum ayuha-nabee wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu”
  • As babies are said to be able to recognise certain sounds and music from their time in the womb, reading certain texts such as the “Book of Assistance” by Imam al-Haddad, is advised in order to bring about recognition.
  • One of the Habaib also advised pregnant women to look at pictures of the Ka’aba when she was too tired to actively engage in ibada.

For those trying to conceive children

  • Recite Surah Fatiha (Surah 1) 41 times in between the sunnah and fard of Fajr prayer.
  • Recite verse 38 of Surah Imran (Surah 3) as many times a day as possible.

 

Further reading for seekers:

Supplication at Birth of Child
Dealing With Infertility
Invocations To Bear Children
Supplications for Having Children and For Dealing With Pain
What Acts Are Recommended After Giving Birth to a Child?
How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (salat al-haja)?