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Greeting, Hugging Non-Mahram Men and Women

Ustadh Salman Younas is asked about a wife seeing his husband hug a non-Mahram woman in front of her children and how to deal with this.

Question:

Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

I have been married for almost six years and have two daughters. My husband usually shakes hands with non-Muslim women and I don’t. I was thinking to talk to him about that. It was first time after six years that my husband’s non-Muslim friend invited us to a dinner. I was surprised to see when my husband’s friend’s wife asked to hug him and he said yes. They hugged each other and then we left. It was a shame for me because they did it in front of me and our kids. I want to raise my children on Islamic manners and now I am getting concerned about it because i believe that our children do what they see.

I talked to him about it and he acknowledged his mistake but I didn’t get any answer that he would not do that again or not. And now after that I am having doubts about our relationship that whether I should continue it or not.

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

Unless there is something more to the situation that you have failed to disclose, it would seem ill-advised to think of ending your marriage solely based on this action of your husband, which he himself admits is a mistake.

Often, even practicing Muslims find it difficult to avoid shaking hands with the opposite gender in certain situations. There is a social and psychological pressure that people often succumb to when confronted with the choice of shaking someone’s hand or not doing so in both casual and professional settings. Your husband is certainly not the first person to slip in this regard. In fact, it is a common problem that people report and inquire about.

If your husband is a good partner otherwise and someone who tries to practice his faith, I would advise you to be a loving and supporting spouse. Nudge him in the right direction. Try to understand his struggle and speak to him like a friend and sincere confidant. Help him overcome the difficulties he is facing. But don’t suffocate him. Rather, advise him and then give him some space to take it in and work on himself.

People slip, and sometimes they do so repeatedly. It does not mean they are bad people, nor does it mean that they do not care for their religion and practice. As the Prophet, blessings upon him, said, “Every son of Adam is a sinner, and the best of sinners are those who repent.” (Tirmidhi)

It is also important to ensure that other areas of your life are ones where both you and your husband are practicing your faith as this may eventually be the key to overcoming one’s vices.

Finally, you should continue making supplication for him and your family. In the end, God is the one who changes hearts.

Salman

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.


How to Pray Tahiyat Al Masjid (Greeting the Mosque)? (Video)

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Question: Assalamu alaykum

How to pray “Tahiyat Al Masjid” (greeting the mosque)?

Answer:  Wa’leykum Salam,

Here is a video answer by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani to this question:

Shaykh Faraz Rabbani is a scholar and researcher of Islamic law and Executive Director of SeekersHub Global After ten years overseas, Shaykh Faraz returned to Canada in the Summer of 2007. In May 2008 he founded SeekersHub Global to deal with the urgent need to spread Islamic knowledge—both online and on the ground—in a reliable, relevant, inspiring, and accessible manner. He has been repeatedly listed as one of the world’s 500 most influential Muslims (The Muslim500).

I Am a Convert to Islam and My Fellow Muslims Do Not Return My Salams. What Can I Do?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: I attend a weekly study circle in the Muslim community in my area, and I say salams to my fellow Muslims. They constantly don’t return my salams. Although I try not to let it bother me, this is something disheartening. How should I respond to this in a proper manner?

Answer:Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Giving salams

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “When one of you arrives at the gathering, then give the Salam, and if he is given a place to sit, then let him sit. Then when he stands, let him give the Salam, the first is more worthy than the last.” [Tirmidhi]

Anas narrated that the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, “As-Salam (peace) is one of the Names of Allah Almighty which Allah has placed in the earth. Therefore give the greeting among yourselves.” [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad]

Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, “You will not enter the Garden until you believe and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I tell you something the doing of which will give you love of one another?” “Yes, Messenger of Allah,” they replied. The Prophet said, “Make the greeting common practice among you.” [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad]

Please continue to give salams, as it is part of our sunnah, a means of building love, and a reminder of one of Allah’s beautiful attributes. Keep your intention for Allah Most High. Model good character as a means of encouraging others to good. Doing good acts is harder when others do not reciprocate. Persisting in good acts is a sign of your sincerity, inshaAllah.

Good opinion of others

Hamdun al-Qassar, one of the great early Muslims, said, “If a friend among your friends errs, make seventy excuses for them. If your hearts are unable to do this, then know that the shortcoming is in your own selves.” [Imam Bayhaqi, Shu`ab al-Iman, 7.522] Excerpt from Making 70 Excuses for Others in Islam – A Key Duty of Brotherhood by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.

I am not sure why they are not returning your salams, but try to make excuses for them. Don’t blame it on yourself. You aren’t doing anything outrageous or strange by giving salams. Please rest assured that you’re doing the right thing.

Convert to Islam

“And obey Allah and His Messenger, and do not dispute (with one another) lest you lose courage and your strength depart, and be patient. Surely, Allah is with those who are As-Sabirin (the patient ones).” [Qur’an, 8:46]

I am sorry to hear that you already feel excluded. This is a common challenge for converts to Islam. It is so it is easy to look inwards when others behave coolly towards you. Take heart that nothing is lost with Allah; He is aware of all the good that you do, and He knows your sadness. Take this as a lesson in developing patience with Allah and His Creation. Persevere in doing that which pleases Him, and trust that He will send you an opening.

Please perform the Prayer of Need and ask Allah to send you good companions, and to lift sorrow from your heart. Take active steps to seek out friends who increase your love for Allah and His Messenger (upon him be blessings and peace). Good people can be found in good places.

That being said, remember that Allah is your Closest Companion, and He will never let you down.

Please refer to the following links:

I Became Muslim and Am Now Lonely and Depressed. What Can I Do?
A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah
What Are Some Prophetic Supplications That Can Help Me Deal With Trials in My Life?

Wassalam,
Raidah

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani