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What Can I Do After Refusing to Help Someone Financially?

Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah

Question: I was in my car when a man asked for help. His bike tire was punctured and I didn’t have the change that he wanted. I said I can guide him to the nearby shop to get his bike repaired. I am so worried about refusing to help him financially. What should I do?

Answer: In the Name of God, the Merciful and Compassionate

Thank you for your question. May Allah grant you the best of states and guide you to what is pleasing to Him.

Quite often when we’re presented with spontaneous events we get flustered and it is difficult to think calmly and collectively, and make the right decision, decisions that in a normal situation we would make easily and thoughtfully. The incident you mention took place at a traffic signal, and this would have in no doubt added to the situation’s urgency. Things are always clearer in hindsight.

Despite this, what you did in this incident, and your regret of not helping the man even more than you already had, is in of itself a tremendous act of kindness. Many people would not have even gone out of their way to guide the man to the repair shop. What you deem as a small act of goodness is nevertheless a very significant deed with Allah. As such, you have more than satisfactorily fulfilled the hadith that,

‘Whoever relieves the hardship of a believer in this world, Allah will relieve his hardship on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever helps ease someone in difficulty, Allah will make it easy for him in this world and in the Hereafter. Allah helps the servant so long as he is helping his brother.’ [Sahih Muslim]

Intention

The Prophet (peace and blessing be upon him) stated that, ‘Acts are according to intentions.’ [Muslim]. Not helping the man in the way you felt you should have, was not intentional. This feeling itself is praiseworthy, and furthermore, you will be rewarded for wanting to have given him more, even if you didn’t.

God’s Mercy

Do not despair of God’s mercy, as it is prohibited and not becoming of the faithful. Allah, Most High, tells us in the Qur’an,

‘And despair not of Allah’s Mercy; surely none despairs of Allah’s Mercy except the unbelieving people.’ [Surah Yūsuf 12:87]

Therefore, being in good cheer and look at the positive side of each event that comes your way. Learn any lessons you feel are important from such incidents and move on. Allah will send many other opportunities in your path inshallah, and you will be in a better position to know how to handle it in a way you feel is best. Allah does not expect us to be perfect, but he does want us to strive to be the best we can be, and to do this we have to make mistakes, learn from them, and move forward.

Finally, if you still want to do the man a good turn, then raise your hands in supplication to Allah, and pray for him and his family. He may not know of your du’a for him in this life, but he will in the next, but most of all, God knows.

Warmest salams,
[Shaykh] Jamir

Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007, he traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with a main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continues advanced studies in a range of Islamic sciences, as well as teaching. Away from the Islamic sciences, Jamir is a qualified homeopath and runs a private clinic in Amman.

Death is not the only way we lose our scholars – Launch of SeekersZakat Fund

Our teachers often remind us that upon the passing of a scholar, they take with them to their grave, the treasure chests of knowledge and wisdom they’d accumulated throughout their life of; hard work, years of dedication and sacrifice and as such, their passing is a loss on multiple levels.

Now we know death is inevitable but death is not the only way we’re losing our scholars.

Ustadh Amjad explains in this video:

Due to the chaos and ugliness that is spread by ISIS and others in Muslim lands, countless scholars have had to flee Muslim countries, live in refugee camps or work 2-3 odd jobs just to get by, thus making teaching secondary.

Teaching also ends up on the back-burner for several scholars right here within our communities because the need to earn a living and provide for oneself and one’s family takes precedence.

But it doesn’t have to be this way…

The SeekersZakat Fund has been formed as one solution to dispelling darkness and spreading the light that is sacred knowledge. With this fund, we can enable our scholars to teach, research, write and produce content for generations to come.

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SeekersZakat Fund will collect zakat donations and distribute to the following individuals who are zakat-eligible, deserving and have been approved as such by our qualified scholars:

Muslim scholars, enabling them to teach this religion instead of just trying to get by.
Your zakat enables qualified scholars to continue transmitting sound, reliable Islamic knowledge through teaching, writing, and research.

Students of Sacred Knowledge, to preserve this religion for the next generation.
Your zakat enables numerous students of Sacred Knowledge to pursue their studies full-time under mentorship of qualified scholars, facilitating the preservation and spread of the light of Prophetic guidance.

Others in dire need of urgent assistance.
Your zakat helps address the immediate needs of those who have been overwhelmed by difficult circumstances. Such cases are individually considered and assessed for zakat eligibility.

This is a critical and urgent need in our times. We owe it to these scholars, whom the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) himself referred to as his inheritors. We owe it to our future generations and we owe it to ourselves.

So give your zakat to the SeekersZakat Fund, even if in advance.

This is the best zakat you could give. Ibn Abidin said, ‘The best zakat is to those most worthy, and through which there will be the greatest resultant benefit’.


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If you already gave your zakat please support us with your charity by becoming a monthly donor here.
For other amounts or one-time donations, click here.

Note:
Donations are Tax Deductible in the US.
We ensure that the zakat you give us is distributed in accordance with Islamic principles

How Can I Help Non-Practising Family and Friends?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: Assalamu alaykum,

I have friends who I’ve known for almost a decade, who don’t practice unfortunately. I try my best to drag them to Islamic events, talk to them about Islam. This is the same case with my siblings.I try my hardest, but there’s only so much I can do.

What should I do in this situation? Especially when I feel like I’m losing my own imaan by being around people who don’t care about their deen as much.

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well.

Priorities

“Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty and ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger and those who believed along with him said, “When (will come) the Help of Allah?” Yes! Certainly, the Help of Allah is near!” [Qur’an, 2:214]

The nature of this dunya is one of trials, and we are often tested by those whom we are nearest to. InshaAllah, successfully navigating this difficulty will help you attain closeness to Allah.

Your priority is learning your fardhul ‘ain (personally obligatory knowledge), in order to ensure that your acts of worship are sound and valid. Lectures and so on move the heart, and do serve a purpose, but it is safest for you to learn your fiqh and aqidah from teachers who are connected to the Prophet (upon him be blessings and peace). Seekers Guidance offers courses in Hanafi and Shafi’i Fiqh as well as Aqidah. I strongly recommend that you pick a fiqh class which is closely aligned to what you are already practicing. If your family is from the subcontinent, then Hanafi fiqh would be best. Study Aqidah as well, to solidify your belief.

Prayer

Please strive to pray all of your five daily prayers. Guarding our prayers is of the utmost importance. Do not let them go because all the prayers that we miss must be paid back before we meet Allah. There is something deeply transformative about guarding our prayers no matter how unmotivated we may feel – there is a medicine in salaat which we cannot find in any lecture.

Convincing others

It sounds like you are very tired of trying to persuade others in your family and circle of friends. My advice is for you to stop trying. Focus on improving your own worship. Be the example you want others to follow. Your adult friends and siblings are accountable for their own actions, as you are accountable for yours. If they wish to spend their time pursuing other things, then that is up to them. We cannot change people unless they want to change.

Take comfort in knowing that guidance is ultimately from Allah. The most non-practising sibling/friend you have could be inspired by Allah one night to make his/her taubah, and return wholeheartedly to Him. No amount of haranguing from you could have the same effect. On the contrary, you could drive him/her futher away from the deen, no matter how praiseworthy your intentions.

Gently ask your mother to make dua for her wayward children, instead of relying entirely on you to guide them back. Their state with Allah is not your burden. Your state with Allah is your responsibility. It is natural to be concerned about our family members, but not to the point where you tire yourself out and miss your own prayers.

Good company

“The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows. So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him.” [Bukhari and Muslim]

It is the nature of humans to seek companionship, so choose your companions wisely. Make new friends who inspire you and remind you of Allah and His Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).

Tahajjud

Seek comfort in the last hour of the night, before the entry of Fajr. Make dua, and stand up for tahajjud prayer. Pour out your concerns to Him, the All Powerful and Most Merciful. You were created for Allah alone, and only He can truly soothe your pain. No matter what your mind may tell you, your heartache and exhaustion will not be relieved when your friends and family start practising the deen. That is a situation you cannot fix by your own hands.

Reconnecting to Allah and submitting to the wisdom of His Decree, however, will soothe your heart, inshaAllah. Part of His Wisdom is the current state your family and friends are in. The wheel is always turning, as Shaykh Nuh Keller has said. None of us know the states we will be in when we meet Allah, but we can prepare by doing our best and by making plentiful dua for a good ending.

I pray that Allah eases your heartache, makes you steadfast on prayer, and guides your loved ones back to Him, when the time is right.

Please refer to the following links:

A reader on missed prayers
Is it disbelief to miss prayers and pray them late?
How Can I Give Islamic Advice to My Family When They Know About My Sinful Past?

Raidah Shah Idil

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Videos from the “Help Haiti, Heal Haiti” Emergency Online Fundraiser: Shaykh Hamza Yusuf, Imam Zaid Shakir, Shaykh Faraz Rabbani, Imam Mohamed Magid, Dr. Sherman Jackson, Imam Tahir Anwar, Shaykh Yahya Rhodus, Imam Khalid Latif and Others


Just in case you missed the “Help Haiti, Heal Haiti” Emergency Online Fundraiser, here are the videos from the event: