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Being HIV Positive and Getting Married

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question: Assalamu alaykum

I committed sodomy in the past, and repented from it. Now, I have been diagnosed as HIV Positive. Has my tawba been accepted? Can I marry a woman who is HIV Negative, and have children with her?

Answer: My dear brother, wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

Do not worry; I’m sure Allah has accepted your sincere repentance. It would also be permissible for you to marry someone who is HIV Negative if she knew exactly what she was getting into.

Allah Loves Our Repentance

We know from a rigorously authenticated narration that Allah is extremely pleased with us when we repent. Imagine a person saved from certain death; when this happens he says something like, “O Allah, you’re my servant and I’m your lord!“ (Muslim) Although he doesn’t experience emotions, Allah is more pleased when a believer apologises and repents than this person who is saved from certain death.

You should feel certain that Allah has accepted your repentance. If you still feel down about what you did use it as a means to keep repenting to Allah, for anything and everything. Allah loves those to frequently repent to Him. (Qur’an; 2:222). Console yourself knowing that Allah has given you the opportunity to become of those who He loves. If Allah loves you – what is there to worry about? He’ll take care of you.

As for the HIV, I feel for you. I pray Allah negates the impact of his illness and give you a long, healthy, and happy life full of good works which please Him.

Try to think of this as a test from Allah, and a means to not only having your faults removed, but to raise you. We all have tests in life, yours happens to be related to this matter. See it as a means of actually getting closer to Allah.

The Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “Verily, a man will have a particular rank [decreed for him] with Allah, but he is unable to reach it with deeds. So, Allah keep trying it with what he dislikes until He makes him reach that rank.” (Ibn Hibban) Every temporary difficulty you suffer in this life will lead to a permanent reward for you in the next life.

Marriage

It would be permissible for you to marry anyone as long as you told her of your continuing health issues. You do not have to disclose how you got the HIV, though. Some people contract it via improperly disposed syringes.

If she is happy to marry you after being fully aware of the potential risky then go ahead. There are medications available which could render the HIV pretty much inert, and there are options such are ‘sperm washing’ for the issue of conception. She would have to know about all of this, as her life, and the life of any potential baby are at risk. (Zarqa; Sharh al Qawa’id al Fiqhiyya).

May Allah bring you ease in your matter.

Wassalam,
[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 to study and sit at the feet of some of the most erudite scholars of our time.

Over the following eighteen months he studied a traditional curriculum, studying with scholars such as Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh Abdurrahman Arjan, Shaykh Hussain Darwish and Shaykh Muhammad Darwish.

In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years, in Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Theology, Hadith Methodology and Commentary, Shama’il, and Logic with teachers such as Dr Ashraf Muneeb, Dr Salah Abu’l-Hajj, Dr Hamza al-Bakri, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Dr Mansur Abu Zina amongst others. He was also given two licences of mastery in the science of Qur’anic recital by Shakh Samir Jabr and Shaykh Yahya Qandil.

His true passion, however, arose in the presence of Shaykh Ali Hani, considered by many to be one of the foremost tafsir scholars of our time who provided him with the keys to the vast knowledge of the Quran. With Shaykh Ali, he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Qur’anic Sciences, Tafsir, Arabic Grammar, and Rhetoric.

When he finally left Jordan for the UK in 2014, Shaykh Ali gave him his distinct blessing and still recommends students in the UK to seek out Shaykh Abdul-Rahim for Quranic studies. Since his return he has trained as a therapist and has helped a number of people overcome emotional and psychosomatic issues. He is a keen promoter of emotional and mental health.

Am I Being Punished for My Sins by Becoming HIV Positive?

Answered by Ustadh Salman Younas

Question: I have committed abominable things (zina) with both women and men for the past 6 years on a regular basis. Last summer I decided that I should change because I was unhappy in this way of life. Two weeks ago I have been diagnosed to be HIV positive. I want to know if you think it bears the signs of punishment for my past numerous wrong doings?

Answer: assalamu alaykum

You should not view this as a punishment but as an opportunity that God has given you to grow in your religion and draw closer to Him.

There are many traditions from the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) informing us of the fact that tribulation expiates the sins of a believer. They include:

(a) The Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) said, “A man is tried according to his religion. If he is firm in his religion, then his trials will be more severe. If he is weak in his religion, then he is tried according to his strength in religion. The servant will continue to be tried until he is left walking upon the earth without any sin.” [Tirmidhi, Sunan]

(b) The Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) said, “If Allah loves a people, then he afflicts them with trials. Whoever is patient has the reward of patience, and whoever is impatient has the fault of impatience.” [Ahmad, Musnad]

(c) The Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) said, “No Muslim suffers weakness, illness, worry, sorrow, vexation, or gloom-even the thorn that pricks him-without Allah thereby expiating some of his misdeeds.” [Bukhari, Sahih]

These traditions, among many others, show us that suffering, trials, and tribulation are all means by which we are given the opportunity to draw closer to God. This is the most important thing to understand when you find yourself in very tough circumstance. When we possess such an understanding, we can approach our circumstances in a positive manner as opposed to being disheartened and turning away from the divine.

Always have a good view of God for He says, “I am as my servant thinks I am.” [Bukhari, Sahih] If we opine that our God is merciful, compassionate, generous, and that these trials that we experience are a blessing from Him, this is how it will be, InshaAllah.

We ask Him to grant you and us good health, well-being, and protection from that which displeases him.

For more: How Do You Distinguish Between a Test From Allah and Punishment?

[Ustadh] Salman Younas

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Salman Younas graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Political Science and Religious Studies. After studying the Islamic sciences online and with local scholars in New York, Ustadh Salman moved to Amman. There he studies Islamic law, legal methodology, belief, hadith methodology, logic, Arabic, and tafsir.

Married Man Addicted to Boys

Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari

Question: I’m an adult man with a wife and children.   Since a young age, I’ve liked both males and females.  I have sex with my wife regularly. However, I can’t resist when I see a good looking boy, and many times I have sex with boys.

I pray to Allah in vain to keep save me from this sin.  I don’t know what to do.  Otherwise i look completely straight and no one can ever make out this disease in me.

Please help me.

Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful

Dear Brother,

Thank you for your question. I pray this message finds you well.

Due to the extreme seriousness of your situation, I urge you to seek professional help immediately. You should speak with a psychologist or a psychiatrist who specializes in sexual addiction. Furthermore, you should speak with a spiritual guide as the root of the problem is spiritual.

You should stop deceiving yourself. Straight men do not sleep with other men, let alone young boys. If you are, in any way, victimizing children, you owe it to yourself and them to get help. Depending on the age of these boys, you very well could be committing a crime on top of major sins (homosexuality and adultery).

And then there is the matter of your wife. Not only are you deceiving her by leading a double life, you are exposing her to a host of sexually-transmitted diseases, including HIV/AIDS.

I implore you to take a good look at yourself and your behavior. Is this how you want to meet Allah? You are hurting your wife, your child, the people with whom you are committing this major sin, and yourself.

Please repent to Allah and ask for divine assistance in curing yourself from this affliction.

Stay away from temptation and get professional help.

May Allah Ta’ala rectify you,

Zaynab Ansari