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How Can I Guide My Parents to the Right Path?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: It’s tough to guide family, especially my parents, to the right path. How should I communicate with my family to help them?

I find it hard to memorize Qur’an and to reform my character. What should I do?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for your sincere concern, and guide your family towards a better practice of their deen.

Guiding Parents

“Indeed, [O Muhammad], you do not guide whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills. And He is most knowing of the [rightly] guided.” [Qur’an, 28:56]

Most parents do not like being told what to do by their children, and moreover, guidance is up to Allah.

Think of wise and tactful ways to encourage your parents to the deen. Being by improving your own self first. Sometimes, the indirect method is best. Treat them with good character, and make dua for them after every obligatory prayer. Share interesting gems of knowledge with them if they are open to listening. Don’t preach to them because they will probably find it irritating.

If you feel that encouraging them to act of worship will bring about more benefit than harm, then feel free to do so. But if you feel that doing so will cause more harm than benefit, then refrain. If you are unsure, then please perform the Prayer of Guidance and wait for events to unfold before making your decision.

Remember to always treat your parents with compassion and respect. I encourage you to complete The Rights of Parents to teach you more about the rank of parents, even non-practising ones. I pray that Allah softens their hearts and guides them to the deen.

Baby steps

I recommend enrolling in some introductory courses to ensure your acts of worship are sound and valid. Please pick one of the schools of thought for introductory fiqh (Shafi’i Fiqh or Hanafi Fiqh).

Once you have covered that, then complete Essentials of Spirituality: Ghazali’s Beginning of Guidance Explained as a way to help organise your daily life. Continue to complete courses, one at at time, and make continual dua for Allah to help you practice what you learn.

Perform the Prayer of Need and ask Allah to guide your parents, keep you steadfast, and improve your practice of the deen.

Please refer to the following links:

Am I Accountable if My Family Doesn’t Practice Islam?
How to Advise a Non-Practicing Muslim

Wassalam,
Raidah

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Strange Dreams and Night Behavior

Answered by Shaykh Faraz A. Khan

Question: I was wondering if you could shed some light on the below.

What is the reality/meaning behind people who behave bizarrely during the sleep. I sometimes speak, get-up and do stuff and have what can be described as total mumble-jumble dreams (completely non-sense stuff). I often dismiss the dreams but what worries me is the getting out the bed and doing stuff in my sleep.

However, I am very steadfast in reciting the Quls and Ayahtul Kursi before sleeping.

Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

I pray this finds you in the best of health states.

As long as you are taking the means prescribed by the sunna to ward off the devil, then you should not be worried any jinn involvement with respect to your dreams or behavior during sleep. You might want to consult a physician to see if there is an underlying medical condition that can be dealt with.

The means to ward off the devil include:

(a) Seek refuge in Allah Most High, by saying, A’udhu bi Llahi min ash-shaytani r-rajim [Bukhari, Muslim]; and recite Ayat al-Kursi, as well as the last three surahs (Ikhlas, Falaq, Nas) [Tabarani, Mu’jam Kabir].

These verses can be recited after each prayer once, and in the morning and evening three times each.

(b) Be consistent in remembrance of Allah (dhikr). Dhikr is a powerful fortress that blocks out the devil’s whisperings, which are in reality of no power or consequence. As Ibn Ata’illah states, “If the devil is not heedless of you, then do not you be heedless of the One in Whose Hand is your forelock.” Allah is in full control. Allah created the devil to spur us forward in our journey to Him Most High.

(c) Find good company—people who make much remembrance of Allah, and who remind you to do the like.

(d) Learn sacred knowledge under righteous scholars so you know the reality of the Sacred Law and its limits. Implement what you learn. The more sound knowledge one has of the religion, the more empowered one is to deal with the devil.
(e) Maintain a strong relationship with the Qur’an, reading some portion daily, however little. Make sure you pray all five prayers on time, and try to attend the mosque for as many of the five as you can.

And Allah knows best.
wassalam
Faraz

Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani