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My Son Married a Non-Muslim

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question: Assalamu alaykum

My son has married a white non-Muslim girl. May Allah give him guidance and put in his heart to marry a Muslim girl. Please give me some duas to recite to help my husband and I get out of this situation.

Answer: Assalamu alaykum sister,

SubhanAllah, this must be a difficult situation for you. I can see that you don’t approve of this marriage and you are trying to find a way out. May Allah give you peace in your heart.

First, which religion does she follow? Is she Christian or Jewish? If not, then your son’s marriage to her would be invalid in any case. Is a Marriage to a Non-Muslim Woman Valid? (Shafi’i)

There are some considerations in this situation. You can decide to support the couple, love them, teach them and be a good example as a Muslim for them. Or you could be distant from them, show them your anger and frustration, and try to make them miserable until they end the marriage. Which one is better for your sanity and for your relationship with your son?

Instead of fighting the situation, you can pray to Allah to give your son what is best for him and pray for his religion. The only thing that can help him in his afterlife is his religion, not what kind of wife he has. So direct your prayers toward his love of Allah and the Messenger. Ask him to take a course on personally obligatory Islamic knowledge. Ask him to read the Qur`an regularly with the meaning. Encourage him to pray, fast and go to `umrah.

Is the girl interested in Islam? She can take a course about Islam too. Offer to teach her to read the Qur`an. Buy her a translation. Be kind and supportive to her. Let her see how beautiful the life of a religious Muslim really is.

Please see the following link for the powerful du`a of a parent, I recommend that you say it every day until you gain some peace of heart. In the meanwhile, be sure to pray on time, pray tahajjud in the last third of the night, pay your zakat and make up any fasts or prayers that you missed. Eat only of the halal, make sure your income is halal and eliminate all the prohibited (haram) and disliked things (makruh) things from your life. And of course, read some Qur`an with the meaning everyday.

The Powerful Dua of a Parent
10 Powerful Duas That Will Change Your Life

Wassalam,
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterwards, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Can I Give Impermissible Food to Non-Muslims?

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question: Assalamu alaykum

Would non muslims be obligated to cover any particular parts of their body as they do not have any legal private region? Having said this, would it be permissible for a muslim to look at the hair, for example, of an unrelated non muslim woman if no sexual inclination is found?

On the same note, would it be permissible to give non muslims haram food?

Answer: Wa ‘alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh

Thank you for your question.

According to the dominant Usuli position non-Muslims are primarily made responsible for belief in the revelation sent to the final Messenger, Muhammad (Allah bless him and grant him peace). In Muslims lands they follow the laws of trade, and the penal system would also apply to them (Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar).

However, a Muslim is expected to deal with them according to the laws of the Shariʿa, so the general laws of looking at members of the opposite gender would apply here (Salah Abul-Hajj, al-Bayan). It would be permissible to look at a member of the opposite gender when needed, such as a cashier in a supermarket. One is not expected to state at his shoes when handing over his money; rather the decorum, and good conduct of Islam should be exercised.

Giving Impermissible Food to Non-Muslims

The general rule is ‘that which is impermissible to acquire is impermissible to give’. Therefore actively giving some haram food to someone is not permissible (Zarqa, Sharh al-Qawaʿid al-FIqhiyya). However, one may leave it for them to take in an indirect manner. For example, if one unknowingly purchased some food which was impermissible, and was unable to return it for whatever reason, one could offer it to a non-Muslim colleague, and leave it next to their desk at work for them to take.

And Allah knows best.

Wassalam,
[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 to study and sit at the feet of some of the most erudite scholars of our time.

Over the following eighteen months he studied a traditional curriculum, studying with scholars such as Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh Abdurrahman Arjan, Shaykh Hussain Darwish and Shaykh Muhammad Darwish.

In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years, in Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Theology, Hadith Methodology and Commentary, Shama’il, and Logic with teachers such as Dr Ashraf Muneeb, Dr Salah Abu’l-Hajj, Dr Hamza al-Bakri, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Dr Mansur Abu Zina amongst others. He was also given two licences of mastery in the science of Qur’anic recital by Shakh Samir Jabr and Shaykh Yahya Qandil.

His true passion, however, arose in the presence of Shaykh Ali Hani, considered by many to be one of the foremost tafsir scholars of our time who provided him with the keys to the vast knowledge of the Quran. With Shaykh Ali, he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Qur’anic Sciences, Tafsir, Arabic Grammar, and Rhetoric.

When he finally left Jordan for the UK in 2014, Shaykh Ali gave him his distinct blessing and still recommends students in the UK to seek out Shaykh Abdul-Rahim for Quranic studies. Since his return he has trained as a therapist and has helped a number of people overcome emotional and psychosomatic issues. He is a keen promoter of emotional and mental health.

I Have a Kid With a Non-Muslim Man. Can I Marry Him?

Answered by Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan

Question: Assalam alaykum,

I am a muslim woman but not practising and I am married to a non muslim man. We also have two wonderful children. He believes in Islam, he believed before we got married.

We both are learner in islam and we want to get married islamic. Is it possible?

Answer: Wa alaykum al-Salam

Thank you for writing to us, may Allah increase your desire to draw close to Him and that of your partner.

The first requirement is for your partner to formally embrace Islam. He does so by pronouncing the testimony of faith:

أشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وأشهد أن محمدا رسول الله

Ashhadu alla ilaha illaLlah, wa ashhadu anna Muhammada ar-RasuluLlah

I bear testimony that there is no God but Allah and I bear testimony that Muhammad sallaLlahu alayhi wasallam is (the final) Messenger of Allah.

You may also explain to your partner that the pillars of faith are:

1. To believe in Allah alone, He has no partners.
2. To believe in the angels.
3. To believe in all divine scriptures. Note that Muslims believe that certain divine scriptures have been interpolated and distorted. The final revelation is the Holy Quran.
4. To believe, love and respect all Prophets of God, including Moses and Jesus.
5. To believe in good and bad predestination.

His formal acceptance of Islam would effectively remove all his wrong doings and he starts a new life with a clean slate. Regarding yourself, you have technically been living in disobedience and are required to repent to Allah. Allah loves you, a sign of His love for you is the desire He placed in your heart to rectify your current situation. His doors are always open and He loves it when His servants turn to Him in repentance. In addition, repentance has a sweetness that cannot be expressed in words.

Once your partner formally accepts Islam, you will have to remarry him following the procedue of an Islamic marriage contract. If you have access to a scholar locally, its best you contact him for this purpose; if you do not have access, please write to us again.

Please note, that prior to this marriage, you are considered a stranger to your partner and sexual interaction and relations would not be permissible.

May Allah bless you and him, grant you both a beautiful union. May He place much love, compassion and understanding between. May He bless your offspring and make you an exemplary family, Amin.

And Allah knows best
Wassalam
[Shaykh] Abdurragmaan Khan

Shaykh Abdurragmaan
received ijazah ’ammah from various luminaries, including but not restricted to: Habib Umar ibn Hafiz—a personality who affected him greatly and who has changed his relationship with Allah, Maulana Yusuf Karaan—the former Mufti of Cape Town; Habib ‘Ali al-Mashhur—the current Mufti of Tarim; Habib ‘Umar al-Jaylani—the Shafi‘i Mufti of Makkah; Sayyid Ahmad bin Abi Bakr al-Hibshi; Habib Kadhim as-Saqqaf; Shaykh Mahmud Sa’id Mamduh; Maulana Abdul Hafiz al-Makki; Shaykh Ala ad-Din al-Afghani; Maulana Fazlur Rahman al-Azami and Shaykh Yahya al-Gawthani amongst others.

Is Feeding Non-Muslims During the Day in Ramadan Permissible? (Shafi’i)

Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah

Question: Assalamu alaykum

Some scholars say that it is haram to give food to a non-Muslim who is morally responsible during the day in Ramadan. Others say that it is permissible to feed them during the day in Ramadan.

What is the position of the Shafi’i school on issue?

Answer: Assalam ‘alaykum. Jazakum Allah for your question.

Both answers quoted in the question are correct in their own way, one being more general than the other.

The Shafi’i Opinion

The opinion of the Shafi’i school is that it is impermissible to give food or sell food to a non-Muslim during the fasting day, as quoted in Ibn Hajr’s Tuhfa, Imam al Sharqawi’s Hashiyat al Tahrir, and Ba Fadl’s Bushra al Karim.

This ruling is based on the Shafi’i position that non-Muslims are legally responsible for both the obligation of accepting Islam and the agreed-upon details of the shariah (furu’), as mentioned by Imam Nawawi in his Sharh Sahih Muslim.

Therefore, in the Shafi’i school, if a Muslim feeds a non-Muslim during the day it is as if he is assisting the non-Muslim in sin.

Other Opinions

Other madhabs, such as the Hanafi school, hold that non-Muslims are not held accountable for the details of the Shariah, and therefore a Muslim feeding a non-Muslim during the fasting day of Ramadan does not amount to assisting them in sin, as they won’t be asked about it on the Day of Judgement.

Though I cannot be sure in what exact context Sayyid Habib ‘Umar intended his words, it appears that he was adopting a broader approach to the answer, not a madhab-specific answer, but rather a da’wah based approach grounded in using wisdom in a situation with a greater purpose in view, namely, guiding others to Islam. Note that Habib did not mention ‘the Shafi’i opinion’ in his answer.

Utilising a broader opinion from another school is a valid, and sometimes necessary approach in some circumstances. Adopting the strict position of one’s own school may not always be in the greater interest and benefit of the given situation.

This is fiqh in practice (tatbiq); sound knowledge translated into action with wisdom and contemplation. The application of which depends on time, place and people.

In summary, both answers are correct in their own way, the first is more madhab-specific, more text-based, while the second answer seems to be more general, da’wah focussed, and with practicality and wisdom as the guiding principles.

And Allah knows best.

I hope this clarifies things for you insha’Allah.

Warmest salams,
[Shaykh] Jamir Meah

Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007, he traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with a main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continues advanced studies in a range of Islamic sciences, as well as teaching. Jamir is a qualified homeopath.

Can a Muslim Call a Non-Muslim ‘Brother’?

Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah

Question: Assalamu alaykum

Can a Muslim call a non-Muslim ‘Brother’?

Answer: Assalam ‘alaykum. I hope you’re well insha’Allah.

Yes, it would be permissible to refer to or respond to a non-Muslim as a ‘brother’ referring to the common brotherhood of humanity.

According to some scholars, it would also be permissible to greet a non-Muslim with ‘Assalam ‘alaykum’ and respond to their greeting with ‘Wa’alaykum assalam’. The permission is more desirable if one hopes for their Islam. And Allah knows best.

[Sharh Sahih Muslim]

Warmest salams,
[Shaykh] Jamir Meah

Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007, he traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with a main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continues advanced studies in a range of Islamic sciences, as well as teaching. Jamir is a qualified homeopath.

Does Not Talking About Islam With a Non-Muslim Mean That I Am Pleased With Disbelief?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam alaykum

I was waiting on a cash desk when a man asked me if I am Muslim. I replied with “Yes” and then he said “Elhamdulillah”. He said:”I have the intention to become Muslim.” After that, we talked again without touching the topic of Islam and suddenly he walked away. Does it mean that I was pleased with his disbelief? What to do in such a situation?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

No, the scenario in question does not constitute being pleased or contented with disbelief (rida’ bi’l kufr).

In general, the jurists give examples which are indicative of principles they are trying to get across. They are not supposed to be taken literally, and this is why many jurists wrote explicitly that they do not give legal verdicts (fatwa) according to what is found in legal texts. Law is not so simplistic.

Even in an actual and serious case, the jurist will strive to take whichever position reasonably keeps the person within the fold of Islam. Anathema (takfir) is no small matter, and in our times, it is a cancer affecting the community of believers (umma). Please see the attached answers for further details and discussion.

Moreover, most people who intend to become Muslim are already subsumed within the faith by virtue of what they have believed in and accepted as truth. Thus, formally “accepting” and the like has social wisdoms, but isn’t an essential part of faith, just like the testimony of faith itself.

In any case, if you feel that you didn’t adequately assist, or you wish you would have said more, you can supplicate for the person in question. But if the person didn’t ask you of anything, nothing is specifically, religiously required from you.

[Qari, Sharh Alfadh al-Kufr (78-81); Ibn `Abidin, Sharh `Uqud Rasm al-Mufti (440)]

Please also see: What is the Ruling For Someone Who Has Thoughts of Disbelief Without Saying Them Aloud? and: Misgivings Regarding Apostasy and How to Deal with Them and: Overwhelmed and Confused in Trying to Understand and Practice Islam: What Can I Do? and: Did I Become a Disbeliever by Repeating Lyrics Containing Disbelief?

And Allah Most High alone knows best.

[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Tabraze Azam holds a BSc in Computer Science from the University of Leicester, where he also served as the President of the Islamic Society. He memorised the entire Qur’an in his hometown of Ipswich at the tender age of sixteen, and has since studied the Islamic Sciences in traditional settings in the UK, Jordan and Turkey. He is currently pursuing advanced studies in Jordan, where he is presently based with his family.

Why Is a Muslim Woman Not Allowed to Marry a Non-Muslim Man?

Answered by Ustadh Salman Younas

Question: Assalam aleykum

1) I have heard that Muslim men are allowed to marry jew and christian women, from what is this understanding derived?


2) I was wondering whether the same thing was true for women? If not, I was wondering what the reasoning and context surrounding this was?


3) If the people concerned are already in a relationship, is it preferable for them to get married?

Answer: assalamu alaykum

1. The permissibility of a Muslim man marrying a woman from the ahl al-kitab (‘People of the Book’) is understood from the Qur’anic verse, “It is lawful for you to marry chaste Muslim women and chaste women of the People of the Book when you have given them their dowries.” (5:5)

According to most scholars, this verse specifies or abrogates a previous verse of the Qur’an (2:221) that prohibited men and women from marrying non-Muslim polytheists. The exception in Qur’an 5:5 was only extended to men and not to women as is clear. As such, the permission to marry the ahl al-kitab only extends to men. [al-Jassas, Ahkam al-Qur’an (2:15-20); al-Qurtubi, Jami li-ahkam al-Qur’an (2:453-57)]

2. There is scholarly consensus that it is neither valid nor permitted for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man. The simple reason for this is that the divine command in the primary texts does not extend such an allowance to women. While scholars mention certain wisdoms underlying this rule, such as the fact that the religious identity of one’s progeny is less likely to be preserved in a marriage between a Muslim woman and non-Muslim man, the ruling ultimately is not subject to context nor whether such a wisdom is actually realized in a given situation.

3. If a woman is in a situation where she is in a pre-marital relationship with a non-Muslim man, such a relationship must be ended as soon as possible. The parties involved may discuss a future in terms of marriage but this would require the man to convert in order for it to be Islamically valid.

While it is natural to feel a sense of pain and sadness when relationships end, we must remember that ultimately we are believers in God and aim for next-worldly felicity, which comes through submitting to what He has commanded of us.

For more advice on this, I would advise you to read the following:

Advice to a Christian Man Who Wants to Marry a Muslim Woman
I’m in Love With a Hindu Man

Love for a Non-Muslim Man & Inviting Him to Islam

[Ustadh] Salman Younas

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Salman Younas graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Political Science and Religious Studies. After studying the Islamic sciences online and with local scholars in New York, Ustadh Salman moved to Amman. There he studies Islamic law, legal methodology, belief, hadith methodology, logic, Arabic, and tafsir.

Is a Convert Rewarded for the Good Deeds He Performed Prior to Converting to Islam?

Answered by Ustadh Salman Younas

Question: Assalam aleykum

Do good deeds of a convert performed while he was a non-Muslim get accepted (and he receives benefits for them) when he becomes a Muslim?

Answer: assalamu alaykum

A convert is rewarded for the good deeds he or she performed prior to converting to Islam.

This is based on the literal understanding of the hadith, “You have embraced Islam with all the good deeds that you used to practice.” [Bukhari, Muslim]

Another hadith that supports this understanding is the statement of the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him), “If a servant accepts Islam and practices it well, God will record for him every previous good deed he performed.” [al-Nasa’i, Sunan]

For this reason, Imam al-Nawawi stated that, “The correct position held by the verifying scholars – and some reported consensus on this – is that if a non-Muslim performed good deeds, such as charity and maintaining family ties, and then embraced Islam and died a Muslim, the reward of these deeds will be recorded for him or her.” [Ibn Hajar, Fath al-Bari (1:99)]

And God knows best
[Ustadh] Salman Younas

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Salman Younas graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Political Science and Religious Studies. After studying the Islamic sciences online and with local scholars in New York, Ustadh Salman moved to Amman. There he studies Islamic law, legal methodology, belief, hadith methodology, logic, Arabic, and tafsir.

Are All Non-Muslims Deemed “Kafir”?

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Question: Are all non-muslims deemed “kafir”?

Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,
I pray this finds you in the best of health and spirits.

The term “kafir” refers to someone who is not Muslim—someone who does not believe in the guidance the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) came with.

There are different types of non-Muslims:

(1) Those who merely do not believe;
(2) Those who reject belief;
(3) Those who dislike belief and believers;
(4) Those who actively oppose and fight belief and believers.

The verses about enmity to disbelievers refer to this last category.

The Term “Kafir” as a Derogatory Term

The believer is commanded by Allah and the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) to be true, upright, and dignified in speech. Allah Most High says, “Believers, be mindful of Allah and speak only words that are upright.” [Qur’an, 33.70] And to, “Say only good to people.” [Qur’an, 2.83]

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should say the good or remain silent.” [Bukhari and Muslim]

Thus, the legal scholars of Islam mention that it is sinful to use terms like “takfir” in derogatory or insulting or hurtful ways. [Fatawa Hindiyya]

One must also be careful, spiritually, of the sins of looking down on others, pride, self-consequence, conceit, and similar.

The Fate of Non-Muslims?

A non-Muslim is held responsible for disbelief if the message of guidance reaches them and they reject it. See:

What is the Fate of Non-Muslims in the Afterlife?

Are Non-Muslims Who Lived Good Lives Condemned to Hell?

We do not delve into the specific fate of individuals, whether believers or disbelievers—as their affair is with their Merciful and Just Lord, Allah Most High.

And Allah is the giver of success and facilitation.

wassalam,

Faraz Rabbani

Photo: Joan Halifax

I Don’t Want My Husband’s Friend to Die as a Non-Muslim. What Can We Do?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: My husband has a non-Muslim friend. He doesn’t want her to die as a non-Muslim and suffer in Hellfire. She is already going through a lot of troubles so my husband feels that it is unfair that she will have to go to Hell. He wants her to accept Islam. Is there anything we can do for this?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you and your husband for your sincere concern.

Guidance

“Surely you do not guide whomever you love, but Allah guides whomever He decides, and He knows best the ones (who are) rightly-guided.” [Qur’an, 28:56]

It is praiseworthy to want your husband’s non-Muslim friend to embrace Islam. There is no greater good in this life or the next.

Regularly perform the Prayer of Need in the last third of the night and beg Allah to guide her, and to ease her hardship.

Treat her with compassion and patience. Do what you can to lift her suffering in this life by being of service to her. Connect her with righteous people of good character, who will inspire her to see the good of Islam. Please still keep in mind that guidance is not in your hands, and it is a gift from Allah.

Hope and Patience

It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah (upon him be blessings and peace) said: “It is necessary that you do not become hasty.” It was said: “What does being hasty mean, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: “When one says: ‘I supplicated to Allah but Allah did not answer me.'” [Sunan Ibn Majah]

Have hope that Allah will answer your duas in the best way possible. Don’t be impatient, especially if you continue to see her struggle with her family problems. One of my teachers shared that Allah took forty years to answer the dua of one of His Prophets (upon him be peace), and they were the best of people.

Ending

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (upon him be blessings and peace) said: “Allah created a hundred mercies, and He placed one mercy among his creation, they show mercy to one another by it, and there are ninety-nine mercies with Allah.” [Tirmidhi]

Only Allah knows the ultimate fate of each person. Trust in His Wisdom, Mercy and Justice.

Please refer to the following links:

Positive Spiritual Thinking: Choosing Mindfulness (taqwa) and Embracing Trust (tawakkul) by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah
Suffering and Divine Wisdom

Wassalam,
Raidah

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.

Photo: Feggy Art