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How Can a Single Mother Raise a Muslim Son?

Answered by Ustadha Shireen Ahmed

Question: Assalam alaykum,

I am a single mother raising a Muslim son who is nearing the age of puberty. Without a man to model the religion for him and take him to be among the men, how can I best encourage his development of religion and chivalrous character?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

I pray this message reaches you in the best of health and iman.

I have a couple of suggestions I can make it in this case. Firstly, we do have a course on SeekersHub called Becoming a Man with Ustadh Amjad Tarsin, and in that class he teaches young men or teenagers about how to have a good conduct and the things that they need to know. That is an excellent resource for your son. The course will next be offered after Ramadan.

Secondly, you can look for good role models in the community, for example at your local masjid or Islamic Center. You may find other students of knowledge or teachers that your son can be around and look up to. You need to look out for older teenagers who exemplify good character and are avid to seek sound Islamic knowledge to be good to companions for your son.

With regard to the prayer, you can certainly take your son to the Friday prayer and even other prayers if that is easy for you to do. That really depends on your situation. The main knowledge he needs to learn is known as personally obligatory knowledge. We offer courses on that on SeekerHub online. But he definitely needs real-life interaction with good companionship if you can find it in your own community.

Finally, it is very important for you to pray for him and pray that Allah Most High protects him from any kind of trials or tribulation so that he grows up to be a strong young man. May God make this task easy for you and help you to teach him in the best way. Do not under estimate the role you play in his life because you can teach him how to have good character with other people and help facilitate for him to learn sound Islamic knowledge. If you have any further questions or concerns please feel free to reach out to me anytime. All the best to you.

Wassalam
[Ustadha] Shireen Ahmed (Umm Umar)

Ustadha Shireen Ahmed (Umm Umar) was born and raised in Canada, where she graduated from the University of Toronto with a B.A. in Psychology and Sociology. After graduation, she set out to formally pursue sacred knowledge, studying Arabic at the University of Damascus and Islamic studies at Jamia Abi Nour and taking private classes in Qur’anic recitation, Prophetic traditions, Islamic Law (Hanafi) and the Prophetic biography.