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Sleepless Child

Answered by Shaykh Farid Dingle

Question: Assalamu alaykum

After adopting a girl and her brother, my son has found that he cannot sleep at night and is extremely demanding? From a spiritual point view, what should we do?

Answer: Dear questioner,

Thank you for your very important question.

The first thing is to be thankful to Allah. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, ‘I and he who takes care of an orphan are like this in Paradise,’ and he held out his hand making a small space between his index finger and ring finger. (Bukhari and Muslim) It is huge honour and grace from Allah to be able to do such an amazing act of worship.

Secondly, be very positive. ‘I am nigh to what my servant thinks of Me. If he thinks good of Me, it will be good for him; if he thinks evil of Me, it will be evil.’ (Ibn Hibban)

Thirdly take all the medical and psychiatric means to get her to sleep properly. Taking the means to avoid a problem, does not mean that you are not content with Allah sending you it.

I pray this helps.

Wassalam,
[Shaykh] Farid Dingle

Please see this answer.

Shaykh Farid Dingle grew up in a convert family in Herefordshire, UK. In 2007, he moved to Jordan to pursue traditional studies. Shaykh Farid continues to live in Amman, Jordan with his wife and kids. In addition to continuing his studies he teaches Arabic and several of the Islamic sciences.

Shaykh Farid began his journey in sacred knowledge with intensives in the UK and Jordan (2004) in Shafi’i fiqh and Arabic. After years of studying Arabic grammar, Shafi’i fiqh, hadith, legal methodology (usul al-fiqh) and tafsir, Sh. Farid began specializing in Arabic language and literature. Sh. Farid studied Pre-Islamic poetry, Umayyad, Abbasid, Fatimid, and Andalusian literature. He holds a BA in Arabic Language and Literature and continues exploring the language of the Islamic tradition.

In addition to his interest in the Arabic language Shaykh Farid actively researches matters related to jurisprudence (fiqh) which he studied with Shaykh Hamza Karamali, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, and continues with Shaykh Amjad Rasheed.

Is It Best to Eat and Sleep Well and Worship More or to Eat and Sleep Less and Worship Less?

Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah

Question: Assalamu alaykum

1. Is it best to eat well and worship more or to eat less and worship less?

2. How do we reconcile the Islamic view on eating, drinking and sleeping less with modern-day recommendations to get all of the necessary minerals and vitamins which requires us to eat way more than the recommended one third for food, one third for drink and one third for air? They also say that not getting enough sleep is dangerous for the health? They recommend around 8 hours.

3. The righteous say that such habits is bad for the spiritual heart but how is it good for the spiritual heart to feel tired, unsatisfied and having mineral and vitamin deficiencies?

Answer: Wa’alaykum assalam. I pray you’re well.

The answer to your questions are simple insha’Allah; Seek the way of moderation.

Allah Most High tells us, ‘We have made you a justly balanced community’ [2:143], and the Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Verily, your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you, and your wife has a right over you.’ [al Bukhari]

Practical application

The practical application of moderation in eating and sleeping is to eat/sleep as much as you need to fulfil your obligations, perform voluntary worship, and carry out your daily activities.

It is better to eat/sleep sufficiently and be productive and feel well in mind and body, than eat frugally and unable to function or be depressed. People will differ according to their needs, so assess what you need to eat drink, and sleep, and act accordingly.

Furthermore, what you eat is also very important. A blend of protein, good fats, plenty of vegetables, and some carbohydrates usually work for most people.

Training

Having said the above, spiritual training does often consist and benefit from hunger and some tiredness. However, in the same way we cannot expect a non-runner to breeze through the New York Marathon, we should not diminish our food intake suddenly and expect to be able to function as usual. The soul and body are the same in that they both require training and conditioning.

The way to reduce one’s food intake therefore, is to very gradually reduce the amount of food one eats, very slowly and over a long period of time. For example, you may lessen your portions slightly every 1-2 months. For many people, eating ‘a third’ is difficult, so one must build up to this very slowly to achieve it without harm. The same principle applies to sleep, one reduces it very slowly over a long period of time, such as 10 minutes every week.

One can also experiment with going for ‘long’ periods of time without food (e.g. 6-12 hours), such as trying intermittent fasting, or fasting the sunna days of Mondays and Thursdays. Getting accustomed to an empty stomach and feeling hunger pangs for some part of the day is good for both the body and soul and strengthens them.

However, in all these, one should always make sure one can function, be productive throughout the day, and take care that they feel well emotionally. If not, then they should adjust their food/fast/sleep accordingly so that no harm is done. Allah loves His servants and does not like that they harm themselves.

And Allah knows best.

Warmest salams,
[Shaykh] Jamir Meah

Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007, he traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with a main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continues advanced studies in a range of Islamic sciences, as well as teaching. Jamir is a qualified homeopath.

My Husband Doesn’t Sleep Next to Me. What Can I Do?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: Assalam aleykum,

I have three small children under the age of 5. Less than a year ago, my mother-in-law passed away, and from that day until now, he sleeps in his father’s room. My father-in-law is not sick.

I sleep in a separate room with our three children. I only sleep next to my husband when guests come over. Is my husband doing the right thing by me?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us. Please forgive me for the delay.

Father-in-law

Your husband sounds like a very concerned son, and that is praiseworthy. However, your rights are important too. It is obligatory for your husband to look after both his father as well as you, and your children. The key here is balance.

Husband

It is very important for you to communicate your unhappiness with your husband. Having three small children is incredibly exhausting, and one of the ways you can recharge is by nourishing your marriage by tending to your marital bed.

My Husband Neglects Me. What Do I Do?
My Husband Does Not Satisfy Me During Marital Relations. What Can I Do?
Building a Great Sex Life is Not Rocket Science

If your husband is not sleeping next to you, do you still have marital intimacy? This is a very important part of your marriage, and if neglected, can lead to bigger problems later on.

Communication

How open is your husband to your influence? Does he accept feedback well? Many spouses tend to go to the defensive, especially when you raise topics related to their parents.

Husbands Can Only Be Influential if They Accept Influence
Emotionally Intelligent Husbands are Key to a Lasting Marriage

Please of ways you can soften your start-up before bringing up this topic to your husband. Expect him to go on the defensive the first few times.

Date night

Do you and your husband have enough time alone? Please make it a point to nourish your marriage by spending quality time together on a regular basis.

4 Ways Parents Can Balance Couple Time and Family Time

Self-care

Do you have enough support in your daily life? The daily care of three small children is exhausting, so please reach out for help. Even if it’s once a week, please ensure that you have some time to yourself to recharge alone.

I pray that Allah brings you and your husband closer together.

Please see:

Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered

[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.

Could You Give Me Supplications in Order to Have a Sound Sleep?

Answered by Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan

Question: Assalam alaykum,

My child is always crying in sleeping. She don’t have sound sleep. Could you give me some duas to get rid of this issue?

Answer: Wa alaykum al-Salam

Shukran for your question.

Ensure that your child recites the recommended prayers before going to bed at night. The following are emphasized:

– Perform ablution before sleeping.
– Recite Ayah al-Kursi (3:255) as well as the last three chapters of the Quran. Thereafter, she should blow a spit like blow in her hands and wipe it over her entire body. This could be repeated thrice. Note, if she is too young to recite these by herself, the parent may recite it and wipe over her body.
– Recite the testimony of faith, ashhadu al la ilaha illaLlah wa ashhadu anna Muhammadar RasuluLlah.
– The prayer before sleeping, Allahumma bismika amutu wa ahya.

In addition, ensure that there are no three dimensional toys or dolls visible in the room. Also, remove images or photos of non-Muslims. Parents should frequently recite Ayah al-kursi in the home as well as surah al-Baqarah (this could also be played digitally).

Thereafter whenever she has a bad dream, she spit like blow over her left shoulder thrice and seek protection from Allah, reciting, a’udhu biLlahi minash shaytanir Rajim. Consistency in the above will bring an end to bad dreams, with the Will of Allah.

May Allah protect and bless her.

Wassalam
[Shaykh] Abdurragmaan Khan

Shaykh Abdurragmaan
received ijazah ’ammah from various luminaries, including but not restricted to: Habib Umar ibn Hafiz—a personality who affected him greatly and who has changed his relationship with Allah, Maulana Yusuf Karaan—the former Mufti of Cape Town; Habib ‘Ali al-Mashhur—the current Mufti of Tarim; Habib ‘Umar al-Jaylani—the Shafi‘i Mufti of Makkah; Sayyid Ahmad bin Abi Bakr al-Hibshi; Habib Kadhim as-Saqqaf; Shaykh Mahmud Sa’id Mamduh; Maulana Abdul Hafiz al-Makki; Shaykh Ala ad-Din al-Afghani; Maulana Fazlur Rahman al-Azami and Shaykh Yahya al-Gawthani amongst others.

When Should I Perform a Ghusl After Finding Wetness After Sleep?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam alaykum

Yesterday I found a stain on my pants so I decided to make a ghusl. However today I went to sleep in these same clothes again and when I woke up I thought this stain looked bigger. I also didnt feel anything sticky on my penis and I have no memory of an erotic dream.However would I have to make a ghusl for this?

Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

No, you would not have to perform a ritual bath (ghusl) in the scenario described, namely, when you are reasonably sure that the wetness seen after sleep is not from ejaculation.

Please see: Wet Dreams and Ritual Purity: A Reader

And Allah Most High alone knows best.

wassalam,
[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Tabraze Azam holds a BSc in Computer Science from the University of Leicester, where he also served as the President of the Islamic Society. He memorised the entire Qur’an in his hometown of Ipswich at the tender age of sixteen, and has since studied the Islamic Sciences in traditional settings in the UK, Jordan and Turkey. He is currently pursuing advanced studies in Jordan, where he is presently based with his family.

Is It Disliked to Lie Down on My Stomach?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam alaykum,

Is it disliked to lie down on my stomach?

Answer: Assalam alaykum wa rahmatullah,

Generally, lying down or sleeping on your stomach without excuse would be deemed disliked due to the interdictions of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) against doing so. Reasonable excuses, nonetheless, would include recovering from pain, or illness in general, digesting food, getting a massage or other similar reasons.

Although the traditions (hadith) seem to mention specifically sleeping on your stomach, the excuses the jurists (fuqaha) give as exceptions to the general rule would appear to point to the disliked nature of simply lying down in such a manner as well.

Ibn Majah related with his chain to Abu Dharr (Allah Most High be well-pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) awoke him with his blessed foot as he slept on his front saying, “this is the lying of the people of the Fire.” And in another tradition, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) remarked, “This is a lying which is disliked by Allah Most High.” [Tirmidhi]

[Khadimi, al-Bariqa al-Mahmudiyya; Nabulsi, al-Hadiqa al-Nadiyya (2.588); Qari, Mirqat al-Mafatih; Ibn ‘Allan, Dalil al-Falihin; al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya]

Please also see: Is It Prohibited to Sleep on One’s Stomach? and: Is It Allowed to Sleep After the Prayer of Asr? and: Is It Sunna to Renew My Wudu Right Before Going to Sleep?

And Allah Most High alone knows best.

قال الخادمي في البريقة شرح الطريقة: (((ومنها الانبطاح) وهو الاضطجاع على البطن (بلا عذر) كعذر هضم الطعام أو غمز الأعضاء عند الحاجة إليه (مج عن أبي ذر – رضي الله تعالى عنه – أنه قال «مر بي رسول الله – صلى الله تعالى عليه وسلم – وأنا مضطجع على بطني» استراحة بلا اقتضاء «فركضني» ضربني وحركني «برجله وقال يا جنيدب» تصغير جندب اسم أبي ذر وهو كنيته «إنما هذه ضجعة أهل النار» فسر هكذا يلقون في النار على وجوههم فلا تشابههم))اهـ.
وفي الفتاوى الهندية نقلا عن الغرائب: ((…وعلى الوجه اضطجاع الكفار ولو كان ممتلئا يخاف وجع البطن فلا بأس بأن يجعل وسادة تحت بطنه وينام عليها يذكر الله تعالى في حالة النوم بالتهليل والتحميد والتسبيح حتى يذهب به النوم)) اهـ.

wassalam,
[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Tabraze Azam was born and raised in Ipswich, England, a quiet town close to the east coast of England. His journey for seeking sacred knowledge began when he privately memorized the entire Qur’an in his hometown at the age of 16. He also had his first experience in leading the tarawih (nightly-Ramadan) prayers at his local mosque. Year after year he would continue this unique return to reciting the entire Quran in one blessed month both in his homeland, the UK, and also in the blessed lands of Shaam, where he now lives, studies and teaches.

Do I Need to Perform a Ritual Bath After Wetting My Bed With Urine During My Sleep?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalamu alaykum,

Do I need to perform a ritual bath after wetting my bed with urine during my sleep?

How can I know if sperm has also exited?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

No, you do not have to perform a ritual bath (ghusl) after wetting the bed. However, you do need to wash that area of your body so that it becomes purified again.

As for the exiting of sexual fluids, this would necessitate a bath if certain conditions are met. Please see: Wet Dreams and Ritual Purity: A Reader

And Allah Most High alone knows best.

wassalam,

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

How Can I Protect Myself From Bad Dreams?

Answered by Ustadha Noura Shamma

Question: For the past month I have been having bad dreams once in a while, and this is something that would very rarely happen before. I recite ayat ul kursi, surah Ikhlaas, surah Falaq and Surah Naas every night before sleeping. What other steps can I take to protect myself?

Answer: Bismillah al-Rahman al-Rahim,

I pray insh’Allah all is well with you and your family.

Alhamdulillah for the guidance and sunnah of our beloved Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, through whom Allah taught us all we need to know to have the best of this life and the next. The sunnah of the Prophet alihi salam covers every part of our lives alhamdulillah.

These are some of the key sunnahs we should perform in preparing for sleep and what to do if awakened during the night.

Getting ready for sleep:

Make a complete wudu, even if in as state of menses or otherwise, with the intention of following the sunnah and drawing close to Allah.

Shake out your bedding, and use a portion of your clothing to “dust” the bed, in case anything has crawled under the covers.

Cup your hands and blow into them gently three times, then recite the last three surahs of the Qur’an (surahs 112, 113, 114) into your hands, then wipe your face, head and as much of your body as possible. Do this three times.

Recite ayat al-Kursi (2:255) and the last two verses of surah al-Baqarah.

Lay on your right side, with right hand under check and face the qibla. Don’t lay on your stomach.

Ya’ish bin Tikhfah Al-Ghifari (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
My father said: I was lying down on my belly in the mosque when someone shook me with his foot and said, “Lying down this way is disapproved by Allah.” I looked up and saw that it was Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him). [Abu Dawud].

Recite the following duas.


بِاسْمِكَ رَبِّي وَضَعْتُ جَنْبِي، وَبِكَ أَرْفَعُهُ، فَإِنْ أَمْسَكْتَ نَفْسِي فَارْحَمْهَا، وَإِنْ أَرْسَلْتَهَا فَاحْفَظْهَا، بِمَا تَحْفَظُ بِهِ عِبَادَكَ الصَّالِحِينَ”

In Your name my Lord, I lie down and in Your name I rise, so if You should take my soul then have mercy upon it, and if You should return my soul then protect it in the manner You do so with Your righteous servants. [Bukhari and Muslim]

Make an intention to wake up for tahajud and ask Allah for help in doing so.

Ask for forgiveness and continue making thikr as you fall asleep.

If you wake up during the night and get out of bed, wipe the bed again with a part of your clothes.

1. If you have a pleasant dream, thank Allah Most High. Such dreams can be shared.

2. If one experiences an unpleasant dream then one should spittle (a form of spitting comprising mainly of air with little spit) three times on the left side and then recite three times: “I seek refuge with Allah from the evil of shaythan”. Also change one’s position to the other side and sleep. [Muslim]

It is important that we teach each other and our children these sunnahs from early age and make it part of bedtime routine. May Allah bless you all with restful and easy sleep.

And Allah Alone Knows.

Hadith references:

Al-Bara’ bin ‘Azib (May Allah be pleased with them) reported:
Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) directed me thus: “Whenever you go to bed, perform Wudu’ as you do for Salat then (before sleeping) recite: ‘O Allah! I have submitted myself to You, I have turned myself to You, committed my affairs to You and sought Your refuge for protection out of desire for You and fear of You (expecting Your reward and fearing Your punishment). There is no refuge and no place of safety from You but with You. I believe in the Book You have revealed and in the Prophet (peace be upon him) You have sent.”‘ Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) added: “If anyone recites these words and dies during the night, he will die on the true Deen, and if he remains alive till the morning, he will obtain good. And make this supplication your last words (before sleeping).”

[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Hudhaifah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
Whenever the Prophet (peace be upon him) lay down for sleep at night, he would place his (right) hand under his (right) cheek and supplicate: “Allahumma bismika amutu wa ahya [O Allah, with Your Name will I die and live (wake up)].” And when he woke up, he would supplicate: “Al-hamdu lillahil-ladhi ahyana ba’da ma amatana, wa ilaihin-nushur (All praise is due to Allah, Who has brought us back to life after He has caused us to die, and to Him is the return).”

[Al-Bukhari].

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, ‘When one of you goes to bed then with the edge of your lower garment (or the edge of the sheet) clean the bed, for you don’t know what is in the bed.’

Our Mother Aisha (may Allah be well-pleased with her) narrated that when the Prophet (peace be upon him) went to bed every night, he would hold his hands together and blow into them, and recite into them  Qul Huwa Allaahu Ahad, Qul a’oodhu bi rabb il-falaq and Qul a’oodhu bi rabb il-naas. Then he would wipe his hands over whatever he could of his body, starting with his head and face and the front of his body, and he would do that three times. [Bukhari]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “By reciting it (Ayat- ul-Kursi), there will be a guardian appointed over you from Allah who will protect you during the night, and Satan will not be able to come near you until morning” [Al-Bukhari]

Recite the last two verses of Surat Al-Baqarah (Chapter 2 – The Cow)
Abu Mas’ud Al-Badri (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I heard the Prophet (peace be upon him) saying, “He who recites the two Ayat at the end of Surat Al-Baqarah at night, they will suffice him.” [Al- Bukhari and Muslim]

Hudhayfa said, “When the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, went to bed at night, he placed his hand under his cheek and then said, ‘O Allah, in Your name I die and live.’ When he woke up, he said, ‘Praise be to Allah who has brought me to life after He made me die and to Him is the gathering.'” [al-Bukhari]

“بِاسْمِكَ اللَّهُمَّ أَمُوتُ وَأَحْيَا”

Abu Hurraira (RA) reports that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was asked, “What prayer is most virtuous, after the obligatory prayers?” He said, “Prayer in the depths of the night.” [Muslim, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Nisaa’i, Ibn Majah]

And Allah knows best.

wassalam,
Noura Shamma

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

How to Respond to the Call of the Dawn Prayer?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam alaikum,

What should one respond to “Assalatu khayr min nawm” (prayer is better than sleep) during the call to the Fajr prayer?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray that this message finds you well, insha’Allah.

The sunna is to respond by saying, “sadaqta wa barirta,” “sadaqta wa bi’l haqqi nataqta,” or “ma sha’ Allahu kan wa ma lam yasha’ lam yakun.”

[Shurunbulali, Maraqi al-Falah, with Tahtawi’s marginalia]

And Allah alone knows best.

wassalam,
Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

What Supplication Can I Recite to Get a Good Night’s Sleep?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: What supplication can I recite to get a good night’s sleep?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well.

There is a narration of Abu Hurayra (Allah be well pleased with him) where the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) instructed him to recite Ayat Al-Kursi before sleeping. This would prevent the devil from coming close to him, and Allah would protect him throughout the night.

Please read Praiseworthy Acts to Do Before Sleeping to give you more duas to help you sleep.

Wassalam,
Raidah

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani