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Did I Divorced My Wife by Uttering the Word Talaq?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam alaykum

A person has had an argument with his wife. He then sits alone imagining in his head a scenario where he tells her “talaq” (divorce) as response to her bad behaviour. He has no intention whatsoever of giving her a talaq in reality, but merely fantasises. Whilst fantasising that he says “talaq” he – without any intention at all to do so – also says accidently says talaq verbally. He is now scared after having heard himself utter the word “talaq” that the talaq has really taken place, although he never had any intention at all of giving it in reality. Has the talaq taken place?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

If a man verbally utters a divorce (talaq) and directs it towards his wife, it would count as a divorce, even if he did so accidentally.

To actually determine whether the word “talaq,” here, affects the number of divorces the person in question has remaining, he needs to clarify what exactly the reason for his utterance was. Otherwise, the basis would be that he has two counts remaining.

[Ibn ‘Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar ‘ala al-Durr al-Mukhtar]

Please also see this answer.

And Allah Most High knows best.

[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Tabraze Azam holds a BSc in Computer Science from the University of Leicester, where he also served as the President of the Islamic Society. He memorised the entire Qur’an in his hometown of Ipswich at the tender age of sixteen, and has since studied the Islamic Sciences in traditional settings in the UK, Jordan and Turkey. He is currently pursuing advanced studies in Jordan, where he is presently based with his family.

Am I Divorced?

Answered by Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan

Question: I had been separated from wife for a few years but met on several occasions. However, one day my wife said it was over and I gave my wife a Talaq but she later wanted to get back. And when my wife again said that the marriage was over, feeling anxious and stressed, I gave her a Talaq. However, I regretted it immediately and told my wife that I wanted her back. Am I divorced? 

Answer: Wa alaykum al-Salam

From your question it appears that you gave your wife two valid divorces, and after the second divorce, you almost immediately took her back as your wife (raj’ah). If the above is correct, then you are still married to your wife.

Note that if you were to give her a third divorce, you will not be able to take her back as a wife unless she marries another man, consummates the marriage with him and thereafter he divorces her. You would then have to wait till her waiting period expires and then marry her in order for her to be halal for you again.

And Allah knows best
[Shaykh] Abdurragmaan Khan

Note: Given the considerations in such cases, please consult reliable local scholars about the specifics of the situation. Jazakum Allah khayr.

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdurragmaan received ijazah ’ammah from various luminaries, including but not restricted to: Habib Umar ibn Hafiz—a personality who affected him greatly and who has changed his relationship with Allah, Maulana Yusuf Karaan—the former Mufti of Cape Town; Habib ‘Ali al-Mashhur—the current Mufti of Tarim; Habib ‘Umar al-Jaylani—the Shafi‘i Mufti of Makkah; Sayyid Ahmad bin Abi Bakr al-Hibshi; Habib Kadhim as-Saqqaf; Shaykh Mahmud Sa’id Mamduh; Maulana Abdul Hafiz al-Makki; Shaykh Ala ad-Din al-Afghani; Maulana Fazlur Rahman al-Azami and Shaykh Yahya al-Gawthani amongst others.

Is It Valid to Marry Someone Who Has Been Drinking Alcohol?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam alaykum

A friend met this guy who agreed to do marry her. He started to learn about Islam, he understood everything and on the day of the marriage he had a glass of wine.

He then came at night, read his shahada and did the marriage in front of witnesses.
The marriage was then consummated.

After a big argument few weeks later he said to the girl that “if you don’t stop contacting me I want divorce”.

1) Is this marriage valid?
2) Is his shahada accepted?
3) Are they divorced?

Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

In general, drinking alcohol or doing any other unlawful action does not affect the validity of a person’s faith.

According to your description of the events, the person pronounced his faith, and subsequently married the girl. If all the conditions of a marriage contract were met, then it would be a legally valid marriage. Thereafter, “I want divorce” is not a statement of divorce, so the marriage would be unaffected.

However, I’d recommend getting in touch with a sensitive marriage counsellor so that the issues can be resolved; and couple this with some guidance from a local, reliable religious scholar.

Please also consider taking: Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriages

And Allah Most High alone knows best.

wassalam,

[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Tabraze Azam holds a BSc in Computer Science from the University of Leicester, where he also served as the President of the Islamic Society. He memorised the entire Qur’an in his hometown of Ipswich at the tender age of sixteen, and has since studied the Islamic Sciences in traditional settings in the UK, Jordan and Turkey. He is currently pursuing advanced studies in Jordan, where he is presently based with his family.

My Husband Pronounced a Divorce Over the Phone Without Warning. Is My Divorce Valid?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: My husband and I married a few months ago. I left to come to visit my family. While I was home, we got into an argument about me working. A week later my husband called me and pronounced talaq (divorce). He has not spoken to me since.

Is the divorce valid? Have I committed any sins? Will he be judged on his behaviour?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well.

Consultation

Is there a local scholar you can speak to about your situation? Please consult one as soon as you can.

Validity

I am very sorry, but based on your description, your divorce is valid. It would be sinful for your former husband to have divorced you without good reason, but it is still valid. You have done your part by reaching out to him and trying to reconcile. Yes, as with any action, he will be taken to task by Allah for his behaviour.

Moving Forward

You have two options:

1) Reconcile

Perhaps your husband regrets his decision to pronounce talaq. It could have been a result of waswasa, poor advice from others, or something entirely different. Allahu alam. Is there any way you can reach out to him, perhaps through a trusted family member or respected community elder? Because he pronounced talaq only once, there is still a chance for you to reconcile.

Please complete this course Islamic Marriage: Guidance for Successful Marriage and Married Life to help you better understand the spirit and law behind marriage in Islam. Ideally, a couple should be clear on how to deal with major points of contention before getting married e.g. the wife working, living arrangements etc.

Should the two of you reconcile, then please work on better methods of communication and conflict resolution. Consult a marriage therapist if you need to.

2) Move on

As heartbreaking as this sudden and unexpected divorce is for you right now, trust in the promise of Allah. “For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.” [Qur’an, 94:5-6]

To help you decide, please perform Salatul Istikhara up to 7 times. You do not need to look for the answer in a dream. Rather, observe how events unfold in your life, and see what Allah makes easy for you. If He makes easy a return to your husband, then that is a sign for you. If He blocks your return, then that is a sign for you.

Divorce may seem like the end of the world right now, but trust that even the worst of heartaches is temporary. Think of this as a new beginning, and a way for you to know what you want in a husband for next time, inshaAllah. Some of the best lessons in life hurt, but they provide us with invaluable wisdom. Look after yourself during this heartbreak. Reach out to loved ones who will support you. Make a lot of istighfar, read Qur’an, make dua in the last third of the night and make plenty of salawat upon the Prophet (upon him be blessings and peace).

I pray that Allah soothes your heartbreak, grants you clarity, and replace what you have lost with something better.

Please refer to the following link:

My Heart Feels Uneasy After Divorce – What Can I Do?
What are the Wisdoms behind the Rulings on Divorce in Islam?
A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah
Selected Prophetic Prayers for Spiritual, Physical and Emotional Wellbeing by Chaplain Ibrahim Long

Wassalam,
Raidah

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.