Posts

Can I Wear Beautiful Clothing for a Wedding Celebration? (Shafi’i)

Answered by Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan

Question: Assalam alaykum,

Is there anything wrong in wearing beautiful clothing for an all female wedding celebration?

I bought a long dress with a high neck and sleeves to the elbows. It is more fitted than an abaya but not tight to the body. I would not be wearing a headscarf.

My husband has suggested that this sort of outfit is haram to wear in a female only environment (it is strictly no men and no photography).

Answer: Wa alaykum al-Salam

It would be permissible to wear such a dress at an only female gathering. The awrah between one Muslim female and another is the area between the navel and the knee; and between a Muslim female and a non-Muslim female is the entire body except those parts of the body that are usually exposed while doing household choirs. This effectively means that her hair, face, neck and lower arms and legs may be exposed. [Nayl al-Raja]

The challenge here is the stance of your husband and the desire of pleasing him. My suggestion is to explain to him that the dress is permissible according to the scholars. If he insists that he believes it to be haram, then ask him if his willing to acknowledge that perhaps difference of opinion exist and that you would like to act upon the opinion that permits it. If he still disagrees, then i believe it would not make sense to create unnecessary tension in your marriage over the wearing of a dress. This does not mean that every decision of difference in your marriage should be handled in this manner.

Should this be a recurring situation that you are always somehow coerced into an opinion he holds, even though scholars allow a practice you wish to implement, then i suggest you write to SeekersHub again for further and additional guidance.

May Allah bless you both

Wassalam
[Shaykh] Abdurragmaan Khan

Shaykh Abdurragmaan
received ijazah ’ammah from various luminaries, including but not restricted to: Habib Umar ibn Hafiz—a personality who affected him greatly and who has changed his relationship with Allah, Maulana Yusuf Karaan—the former Mufti of Cape Town; Habib ‘Ali al-Mashhur—the current Mufti of Tarim; Habib ‘Umar al-Jaylani—the Shafi‘i Mufti of Makkah; Sayyid Ahmad bin Abi Bakr al-Hibshi; Habib Kadhim as-Saqqaf; Shaykh Mahmud Sa’id Mamduh; Maulana Abdul Hafiz al-Makki; Shaykh Ala ad-Din al-Afghani; Maulana Fazlur Rahman al-Azami and Shaykh Yahya al-Gawthani amongst others.

Can I Attend a Muslim Wedding Ceremony to a Hindu?

Answered by Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan

Question: Assalam alaykum,

My cousin will be marrying a Hindu woman who does not plan to convert to Islam before the wedding. He has also agreed to have the wedding conducted according to Hindu customs and rituals.

Would it be permissible for a Muslim to attend this wedding? If not, how does one continue family ties?

Answer: Wa alaykum al-Salam

Shukran for your question.

While a Muslim male may marry a Jewish or Christian female, with certain conditions of course, none of the schools of Islamic jurisprudence permits him to marry a Hindu. The marriage is thus not valid or permissible and attending would tantamount to the intentional witnessing of haram and the tacit approval thereof as well. Consequently, it will not be permissible for you to attend such a Nikah.

This however should not be the cause for severing family ties altogether. Yes, make him aware that you disapprove of his marriage, don’t attend his wedding or wedding anniversary or any gathering that may lend support to this marriage, but still maintain contact. Pray for him and her, be a source of encouragement for them both. You may even visit them with this intention as long as this wrong doing of his does not become something that’s accepted in your family.

Regarding joining family ties with wrongdoers you may read further here: How to Avoid Cutting Ties With People and Bad Company at the Same Time?

And Allah knows best

Wassalam
[Shaykh] Abdurragmaan Khan

Shaykh Abdurragmaan
received ijazah ’ammah from various luminaries, including but not restricted to: Habib Umar ibn Hafiz—a personality who affected him greatly and who has changed his relationship with Allah, Maulana Yusuf Karaan—the former Mufti of Cape Town; Habib ‘Ali al-Mashhur—the current Mufti of Tarim; Habib ‘Umar al-Jaylani—the Shafi‘i Mufti of Makkah; Sayyid Ahmad bin Abi Bakr al-Hibshi; Habib Kadhim as-Saqqaf; Shaykh Mahmud Sa’id Mamduh; Maulana Abdul Hafiz al-Makki; Shaykh Ala ad-Din al-Afghani; Maulana Fazlur Rahman al-Azami and Shaykh Yahya al-Gawthani amongst others.

Etiquette of Marriage: A Comprehensive SeekersHub Reader

The etiquette of marriage form the 12th chapter of Imam Al-Ghazali’s seminal work, the Ihya, which is widely regarded as the greatest work on Islamic spirituality in the world.

 

Can I Make a Tayamum on the Wedding Day to Not Ruin My Makeup? (Video)

Answered by Shaykh Faid Mohammed Said

Question: Assalam alaykum

I fear that I will not be able to keep my wudu throughout my wedding day to perform my prayers. As a bride it would mean having to remove my hijab and makeup to perform wudu which will take a lot of time. Can I perform a tayammum instead?

Answer:  Wa alaykum assalam,

Here is a video answer to this question by Shaykh Faid Mohammed Said:

Shaykh Faid Mohammed Said is one of the most prominent Islamic scholar based in the United Kingdom whose efforts include teaching and community outreach work. Besides holding regular classes on the Qur’an, Seerah and Fiqh, Shaykh Faid is a pioneer in pastoral work providing advice and counseling services for those who are in need especially new Muslims, women and the youth.

What Is the Process for Delivering a Proposal For Someone’s Hand In Marriage?

Answered by Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan

Question: Assalam alaykum,

What is the process for delivering a proposal to a family?

If the girl is an illegitimate child and estranged from her father, can the proposal be given to someone else?

Answer: Wa alaykum al-Salam

May Allah reward you for your question.

The proposal process is not cast in stone and differs from culture to culture. As long as a given culture does not contradict the teachings of the Quran and Sunnah, then there is no problem in adhering to that culture. The following however are important considerations:

1. When a brother shows interest in a sister, the correct procedure would be for him to approach her wali our guardian, either directly or through the medium of someone. The wali is the father, then the grandfather, then the brother and then the paternal uncle.

Note that in many Arab cultures, the mother would go and meet the potential sister and her mother, and would thereafter decide whether she is a suitable spouse for her son or not. Nonetheless,

2. If the brother has not seen or spoken to the sister before and the wali agrees to consider him as a potential spouse for his daughter, he would arrange a meeting between the two of them for viewing and discussion. This meeting may recur until both parties agree to marriage. These meetings should be strictly in the presence of her mahram and usually does not happen more than thrice unless there’s a need.

3. Once the couple reaches an agreement, they would pray Salah al-Istikharah which sort of acts as a rubber stamp. In other words, once the couple has weighed the pros and cons and reached a decision that they would like to pursue the marriage, they would pray istikharah asking Allah that if the marriage is good for them in this world and the next that He realizes it for them; and if it is not good for them, that he turns them away from it. Thus the couple should believe that when the marriage materializes that it came from Allah; and when it does not, it also came from Allah.

4. After the couple agreed to marry, a formal proposal would take place. Here cultures tend to differ considerably. I’m also assuming that your question is directed at this formal proposal. It is acceptable for the suitor to send a representative as how it is fine for him to attend in person. Similarly, the “fiancee to be” may or may not be present. The important thing, and this is where our local culture tends to drift off a bit, is that she should be dressed appropriately and modestly. Also, even though engaged, contact between them is still impermissible and thus holding hands or even a peck kiss, is totally unacceptable. Answering your question, the proposal is delivered to the wali or his representative and the wali would accept the proposal after consulting the sister. Note that when the wali is the father or grandfather, they are not obliged to consult their daughter or granddaughter, it is however recommend.

Your final question regarding an illegitimate father. The father is only considered illegitimate, when the child was born out of wedlock or prior to 6 months in wedlock. When it is established that the fiancee is an illegitimate child in a non-Muslim country, she has one of two options, namely, tawliyah or tahkim. Tawliyah is when she appoints a man of integrity to act as her wali. Tahkim is where she appoints, with her fiance, a scholar as an ad hoc judge to marry her off to her fiance.

And Allah knows best

Wassalam
[Shaykh] Abdurragmaan Khan

Shaykh Abdurragmaan
received ijazah ’ammah from various luminaries, including but not restricted to: Habib Umar ibn Hafiz—a personality who affected him greatly and who has changed his relationship with Allah, Maulana Yusuf Karaan—the former Mufti of Cape Town; Habib ‘Ali al-Mashhur—the current Mufti of Tarim; Habib ‘Umar al-Jaylani—the Shafi‘i Mufti of Makkah; Sayyid Ahmad bin Abi Bakr al-Hibshi; Habib Kadhim as-Saqqaf; Shaykh Mahmud Sa’id Mamduh; Maulana Abdul Hafiz al-Makki; Shaykh Ala ad-Din al-Afghani; Maulana Fazlur Rahman al-Azami and Shaykh Yahya al-Gawthani amongst others.

The Woman I Love Doesn’t Want to Marry Me Because of My Low Income.

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: Assalam aleykum,

I am in love with a young woman. We have done sinful things in the past. Will Allah and the Prophet (upon him be blessings and peace) ever forgive me?

At first, she said she didn’t want to marry me because my income was too low. I begged, and then she agreed.

Soon after, she changed her mind and said she didn’t want to marry me anymore. I truly love her and want to marry her, and I’m planning to transfer to a better-paying job. What can I do?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. Please forgive me for the delay.

Forgiveness

Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (upon him be blessings and peace) said, “Allah, the Exalted, has said: ‘O son of Adam, I forgive you as long as you pray to Me and hope for My forgiveness, whatever sins you have committed. O son of Adam, I do not care if your sins reach the height of the heaven, then you ask for my forgiveness, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, if you come to Me with an earth load of sins, and meet Me associating nothing to Me, I would match it with an earthload of forgiveness.”‘ Tirmidhi].

Please do not despair in the mercy of Allah. Allah loves you, and wants goodness for you. Yes, you have sinned, so continue to make a sincere repentance. Dunya is filled with trials, so after you fall, pick yourself up, make your repentance, then move forward.

Marriage

Before you even consider marriage, please listen to the free downloadable lesson set Getting Married, with Ustadha Shireen Ahmed and Shaykh Faraz Rabbani. When registration reopens, please enrol in Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriages. Please implement the wisdom in these resources.

Your situation is a difficult one. You have sinned with this young woman, you are in love with her, and she has changed her mind many times. However, the reality is that she she longer wants to marry you.

My advice to you is to surrender to the Will of Allah. You are torn with longing and heartache because you are hoping for something that may never happen. I pray that Allah soothe your pain. Tests of heartbreak are the amongst the hardest to bear, but bear this with patience, and bring yourself closer to Allah. Allah alone can soothe your pain.

Moving forward

Occupy your heart with Allah, and He will lift the anguish from it. Listen to and read Qur’an daily, wake up in the last third of the night and pray tahajjud.

Please choose your wife wisely. She will be your companion on your journey to Jannah, and the future mother of your children. Pick a woman who brings out the best in you, who accepts you as you are, and is happy to be supported by you.

Falling in love first can often cloud your judgement. I suggest that you speak to your family about wanting to married. Your parents want what is best for you, know you, and may already have someone in mind for you.

The heart wants what it wants. You can make this harder on yourself by pining for her, or you can make it easier by actively letting go.

Provision

I encourage you to read Surah Al-Waqiah as regularly as you can, to help you increase your provision, and to eliminate fear of poverty in your heart.

Please perform the Prayer of Need  regularly, beg Allah to remove her from your heart, and ask Him to send you a righteous and loving wife who will be your solace in this world and the next.

Please see:

[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.

Why Married Couples Struggle and How to Respond Successfully

Why Married Couples Struggle and How to Respond Successfully. A Muslim Perspective from Ustadha Shireen Ahmed & Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

The closest relationship a person will ever experience in their lifetime is with their spouse. In this SeekersHub seminar, we learn how to cultivate this union to the fullest, how to overcome common hurdles, and how to maintain a high degree of moral conduct and excellent character.

For more info and FREE registration for our upcoming seminars – wherever you are in the world, visit SeekersHub Toronto.

Cover photo by Azlan DuPree.

How To Manage Problems With In-Laws – Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

How To Manage Problems With In-Laws. A Muslim Perspective from Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

The closest relationship a person will ever experience in their lifetime is with their spouse. In this SeekersGuidance seminar, we learn how to cultivate this union to the fullest, how to overcome common hurdles, and how to maintain a high degree of moral conduct and excellent character.

For more info and FREE registration for our upcoming seminars – wherever you are in the world, visit SeekersGuidance Toronto.

Cover photo by Azlan DuPree.

What Is The Purpose Of Marriage? A Muslim Perspective from Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Muslim-Marriage-Couple-Nikah-CREDIT-AzlanDuPree

What Is The Purpose Of Marriage? A Muslim Perspective from Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

The closest relationship a person will ever experience in their lifetime is with their spouse. In this SeekersHub seminar, we learn how to cultivate this union to the fullest, how to overcome common hurdles, and how to maintain a high degree of moral conduct and excellent character.

For more info and FREE registration for our upcoming seminars – wherever you are in the world, visit SeekersHub Toronto.

Cover photo by Azlan DuPree.

Successful Marriage: Keys from the Prophet Muhammad’s Sunnah ﷺ, by Habib Hussein as-Saqqaf

This talk on marriage by Habib Hussein as-Saqqaf is probably one of the finest we have heard on the subject in a long, long time.

The closest relationship a person will ever experience in their lifetime is with their spouse. In this SeekersHub seminar, we learn how to cultivate this union to the fullest, how to overcome common hurdles, and how to maintain a high degree of moral conduct and excellent character.

For more info and FREE registration for our upcoming seminars – wherever you are in the world, visit SeekersHub Toronto.

Cover photo by Azlan DuPree.