Advice for Dealing With Serious Illnesses

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: My aunty has recently been diagnosed with cancer and it seems to be getting worse and worse. My grandma likes to be told specific things to read; Is there any particular collections of duas/surahs/ dhikr you know of that she could read.

 

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray that you are in the best of health and faith, insha’Allah.

May Allah give her — and all those sick — a full and complete recovery, insha’Allah.

It would good to recite the entire Qur’an, and then supplicate for her and all other Muslims. Supplications after completing a recital of the Qur’an are blessed and accepted, insha’Allah. (See: Are Supplications Made After the Entire Qur’an Has Been Recited Considered Accepted By Allah? )

Moreover, you should encourage her to spend her time in worship, repaying her debts to Allah, seeking forgiveness, mercy, and a raising of ranks. Encourage her to make much supplication, for He loves to be asked, and remember to always have a good opinion of Allah, by being a worshipful, grateful slave.

Finally, realize the words of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), “No fatigue, illness, anxiety, sorrow, harm or sadness afflicts any Muslim, even to the extent of a thorn pricking him, without Allah wiping out his mistakes by it.” [Agreed upon]

Please also see:

[1] Advice to a Young Cancer Patient

[2] How Do You Distinguish Between a Test From Allah and Punishment?

[3] A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah

[4] Prophetic Supplications to Cure Illnesses

[5] Asking Allah for Well-Being: The Sunna of the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace)

And Allah alone gives success.

Wassalam,

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani

Why Do Good People Suffer While Bad People Get Away With Crimes?

Answered by Dr. Bano Murtuja

Question: After many years of marriage I finally left my husband due to various reasons but mostly due to his infidelity. Recently he submitted to the courts a document containing horrible slander and vicious lies about my character.

I believe everything happens only with the permission of Allah (SWT). Then how could Allah (SWT) do something so horrible like this to me when I’ve been striving so hard to get closer to him. It’s shaken my faith and I don’t know how to deal with it. I want to understand why Allah (SWT) is doing this to me and how he could allow someone like that to get away with such slander after years of abusing me.

I also question how Allah (SWT) can hurt innocent children all over the world. Reading the news and hearing of incidents, it appears that women and children get the worst treatment at the hands of men. Why? How can we love when he punishes us beyond reason? Fear I understand, but it’s so hard to love when you are constantly being slaughtered.

What is the message I’m missing?

Answer: As salam alykum wa rahmatullahi,

I pray this finds you in the best of health and states.

Testing Those Who Seek to Get Close to Him

You have mentioned that you are seeking to get close to Allah (Exalted be He). As difficult as it may be, it is often through the harshest tests that we attain true proximity to Allah (Exalted be He).

We of course make dua that we are granted ease, and that Allah (Exalted be He) grant us proximity without tests. That being said, we can often gain perspective by reflecting on what the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) and our teachers have said on the virtues of patience.

Abu Yahya Suhayb ibn Sinan said, “The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, ‘What an extraordinary thing the business of the believer is! All of it is good for him. And that only applies to the believer. If good fortune is his lot, he is grateful and it is good for him. If something harmful happens to him, he is steadfast and that is good for him too.’” [Muslim]

Our teacher Shaykh Faraz provides a beautiful answer on how tests have the potential to bring us closer to the All Loving.

This can be found here:

Qur’anic Reflections: Divine Tests and the Great Virtue of Steadfast Patience

Consequences of Oppression

With regard to your question about how your husband can get away with behaving in this manner, it may appear that this is the case. However, what you often find is those who oppress experience the consequences of that oppression in spiritual terms in this life and with far graver consequences in the hereafter. May the All Loving guide us all to be better than what we are, grant solace and tranquility to those we have harmed and forgive our transgressions.

The question of evil and suffering in the world requires a very lengthy discussion. This has been addressed comprehensively by Shaykh Nuh Keller here:

Suffering and Divine Wisdom

May Allah (Exalted be He) grant you ease and facilitation in all your affairs.

Ma’salam

Bano

Love, Good Character, and Mercy Between Spouses

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: There is a famous hadith often cited by people and they state the source as Sahih al-Bukhari and Sunan at-Tirmidhi. The Hadith is: “When a husband and wife look at each other with love, Allah looks at both with Mercy” [Bukhari 6:19 & Tirmidhi 14:79]. Could you state that if the hadith is a fabrication or it does really exist?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I hope you are in the best of health and spirits, insha’Allah.

This narration (hadith) is not related by Bukhari and Tirmidhi in their respective collections.

Though, it is a narration (hadith) found in Imam Suyuti’s al-Jami` al-Saghir, and seemingly taken from Rafi`i’s Tarikh. However, it appears to be very weak at best.

The Soundness of Its Meaning

Nevertheless, the meaning is sound as understood from Qur’anic verses and other prophetic narrations.

Allah Most High says, “And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” [30:21]

Mercy is a quality that induces excellent conduct. It is a concern for good.

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “The believers best in faith are those best in character, and the best of you are those best to their spouses.” [Tirmidhi] Munawi explains that this includes being patient with them, constantly cheerful, and treating them with excellence. [Munawi, Fayd al-Qadir]

And Allah knows best.

Wassalam,

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani

Longing to Marry Someone I Had a Physical Relationship With

Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari

Question: I am a teenager and I had a physical relationship with a brother. We want to get married as soon as we are old enough but we got caught by parents. Now our families hate each other and the guy has been sent away. I can’t even think about being with anyone else. Is there any dua i can read or do anything for us to be together again, and for our families to accept our relationship?

Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful

Dear Sister,

Thank you for your question. I pray this message finds you well.

As difficult as it is to accept, you are better off without this person in your life. A man who truly values a woman will marry her before having a physical relationship with her. A soulmate is supposed to lead you to Allah, not entice you to commit sin. It would not be appropriate to ask Allah to bring someone back into your life who encouraged you to commit a major sin. Instead, you should thank Allah this person has been removed from your life. You should focus on repenting to Allah and reevaluating your life. You’re only a teenager and have many years, God willing, in store. Why weigh yourself down with a toxic relationship? You should move on with your life and let him move on with his. If he had wanted to do right by you, he would have married you. Period. Trust me, he will recover from this; men almost always do. You, on the other hand, might have a longer road to travel, hence my insistence on repentance and getting things right with God.

May Allah Ta’ala give you healing from this,

Zaynab Ansari

Parental Demands Scared Away Potential Spouse

Answered by Dr. Bano Murtuja

Question: Someone asked to marry me, and I was deeply interested in him.  My parents agreed, but they set unreasonable conditions, so he refused.  I got my parents to agree to take away their conditions, but the brother still refused. My problem is I can’t forget about him.  Other people want to marry me, but I only want to marry him because he is a very good man.   Please advise me because I am having problems forgiving my parents for this.

Answer: Walaikum salam,

I pray this finds you in the best of health and states.

Your parent’s actions in setting unreasonable demands in the first instance is problematic, however, the brother’s refusal to marry you despite your parent’s changing their minds is an indication that your marriage was not meant to be.

Whilst the first brother may be a good brother, Allah (Exalted be He), in His infinite Wisdom and Knowledge knows that which is best for us. Regardless of his character, it may have been that a marriage with him was not best for you in this life and the hereafter.

I understand that emotional attachment such as the one you formed with the brother in question can be difficult to break. However, comparing potential marriage partners with him is not begin fair to your self or to the brother’s who ask for your hand in marriage. When proposals come, you should make istikhara and ask Allah (Exalted be He) to make easy for you that which is best for you.

A full guide on how to make istikhara can be found here: The Reality of Istikhara

With regards to forgiving your mother, it is important that you remember our parents actions are often motivated out of love and concern for our welfare.

Allah (Exalted be He) has described the believers in the Qur’an as “those who avoid major sins and acts of indecencies and when they are angry they forgive” (al-Shura 42:37).

He (Exalted be He) also says: “And let not those of virtue among you and wealth swear not to give [aid] to their relatives and the needy and the emigrants for the cause of Allah , and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” (an-Nas 24:22)

In trying to forgive others one should remember that we are all flawed, and all in need of forgiveness from human beings and by the Creator. In forgiving the wrongs done to us, we pray that we are in turn granted forgiveness for our transgressions.

May Allah (Exalted be He) grant you ease and facilitation in all your affairs.

Ma’salam

Bano

Related Answers:

Obeying Parents in Matters of Marriage

My Parents Won’t Let Me Marry Before My Older Sister

Marriage & Dealing With Parents

Can I Sell Conterfeit Items on eBay?

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Question: Is it permitted to buy and sell duplicate items on ebay. For example, I am planning on buying a few items that bear a company trademark (Apple, for example), but they are in fact counterfeit items made by another company.  Am I allowed to sell such things on ebay if I don’t claim they are original and I sell them as is?

 

Answer: Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you in the best of health and spirits.

Selling an item–even “as-is” with a fake company label is considered deception (khiyana), and is a major sin–as well as being unlawful by law, and against eBay’s own terms (http://pages.ebay.com/help/policies/replica-counterfeit.html).

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Whoever cheats is not of us.” And he said (peace and blessings be upon him), “There is no faith in one who isn’t trustworthy.”

The believer, instead, is true and trustworthy–two of the distinctive qualities of the Beloved Messenger of Allah (peace & blessings be upon him & his folk). The believer also follows the law of the land, and the terms of all agreements.

Allah Most High says, “Believers! Fulfill all contracts.” [Qur’an, 5.1]

wassalam, Faraz Rabbani

Executive Director, SeekersGuidance & SeekersHub Toronto

Related Answers:

Redressing the Wrong of Taking Unearned Money from One’s Employer

Paying Taxes to a Government That Harms Muslims

Obeying Parents in Matters of Marriage

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: I asked by mother to get married and she told be about a lady. She said I should speak to her and then marry her if I like her. Now she wants me to cut things off because she doesn’t think the lady’s mother is a good person, even though her mother is very pious and reads the Qu’ran often. Should I obey my mother, or follow my heart and marry the lady?

 

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray that you are in the best of health and faith, insha’Allah.

It would generally be much wiser to marry with parental approval.

Parents can be convinced. However, realize that they have deep concern, and only want the best for you. It would break their heart if you went ahead without their consent.

If your mother is not keen on it, it may be that she has seen or noticed something which may be detrimental to the relationship in the long term. Women notice things that men don’t. Marriage is a coming together of families, and not simply of the husband and bride to be.

It is reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Your love of something blinds and deafens.” [Abu Dawud] It could be that there is an issue which you haven’t considered.

If you have done your homework on her, asked those worthy of consulting, prayed istikhara, and still feel that you should marry her, then continue to insist without any arguing.

And Allah knows best.

Wassalam,

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani

Related Answers:

Marriage & Dealing With Parents

Marriage & Obedience to Parents

My Family Doesn’t Get Along With My Spouse’s Family

What is the Link Between Sura al-Kahf and the Dajjal?

Answered by Ustadha Shaista Maqbool

Question: I came across a hadith that mentions that whoever commits the first ten verses of Surat Al-Kahf to memory will be saved from the fitna of the Dajjal. What is the connection between Surat Al-Kahf and the Dajjal?

 

Answer: Wa’alaikum assalaam warahmatu Allah,

Imam Muslims narrates in his Sahih that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah upon him) said:

“Whosoever memorizes 10 verses from the beginning of Surah al-Kahf will be protected from the tribulation of the Dajjal.”

Imam Munawi in his Fayd al-Qadeer (commentary on Jami’ as-Saghir of Imam Suyuti) said:

“It is because of what is in the story of the people of the cave of wonders, such that whoever knows these will not be amazed by the Dajjal and therefore, he will not be tried; or, whosoever ponders over these verses and contemplates their meanings will be weary of the Dajjal and therefore safe from him; or that this is a specialty given to this Surah…”

And Allah knows best.

wasalaam,
Shaista Maqbool

Checkec & Approved by Faraz Rabbani

Related Answer:

The End of Times: Isolating Oneself, Sticking to the Majority, and Protection from the Dajjal

My Weak Memory Discourages Me in My Studies

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: I’ve studied Arabic intensively since the beginning of this year. I’ve improved a lot since I started, but I get discouraged because I feel that when I move one step forward in my studies, I jump 10 steps back. In other words, I’ll learn something new and it will stick with me like glue, but my memory is so weak that the old material loses its strength. This is very discouraging for me. Alongside consistently reviewing, are there other steps that I can take to help my memory? And general advice to help maintain my himmah even when things get rough?

 

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I hope you are in the best of health and spirits, insha’Allah.

Sidi Ibn `Ata’illah al-Iskandari said, “No matter is difficult if you seek it through your Lord, and nothing is easy if you seek it through yourself.”

Difficult times are to be expected. This is the dunya. However, with patience, perseverance, and a little realization, there is always a way out.

Allah Most High says, “And whoever is mindful of Allah, He will grant them a way out, and will provide for them in ways unimagined. And whoever places their trust in Allah, then Allah is their sufficiency. Allah’s affair will surely come to pass–and Allah has made a clear decree for everything.” [Qur’an, 65: 2-3]

Realize this and take the best possible means of attaining unto the goal. Consult more often regarding how and what you should review. What steps should you be taking to really benefit from the knowledge? How does it relate to other topics/subjects? Try to study/review with other students. And do everything you can to cement the material down. With time and sincerity, it will come, insha’Allah. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) reminded us to seek the assistance of Allah and not to deem ourselves incapable.

Make a point to renew your intentions, seek forgiveness for yourself, parents, family, fellow students, teachers, and the entire umma, give a little in charity, strive to consistently fulfil all of your obligations, pray out of neediness, ask in blessed times and places with focus, sincerity, and conviction that you will be answered, and finally be grateful for what you already have. Allah Most High says, ‘If you are thankful, I will surely increase you’ [Qur’an, 14:7]

Please also see:

[1] Advice Regarding Being a Student of Knowledge and Taking Notes

[2] How Do I Improve My Memory So I Can Memorize the Qur’an More Easily

[3] A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah

And Allah alone gives success.

Wassalam,

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani

Inheriting and Property Bequests from Non-Muslims

Answered by Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

Question: I have been reading about wills and I plan on writing one shortly. My question, if my parents are non-Muslim and they have bequested money and assets to me, if I pass away before my parents would it be permissible for their bequested money/assets assigned for me instead be given to my Muslim family (wife and children)? This is important to know because I plan on including this bequested money/assets in my will.

Answer: In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,

Before answering your specific question, it is important to keep in mind that Islamically a Muslim does not ‘inherit’ from a non-Muslim, and vice versa. This is agreed upon within the four Sunni Schools of Islamic law, due to clear textual proofs such as:

Sayyiduna Usama ibn Zayd (Allah be pleased with him) relates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said, “A believer does not inherit from an unbeliever, and an unbeliever does not inherit from a believer.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

However, it is permitted to accept a bequest (wasiyya) from a non-Muslim, or make a bequest for a non-Muslim, provided it is specified and does not exceed a third of one’s entire estate. As such, in general if your non-Muslim parents make a bequest of up to one third in your favor, it will be permitted to take it after their death.

As for your wish to include in your own Will what your non-Muslim parents bequeath for you, this is not permitted. A beneficiary of inheritance (irth) or bequest (wasiyya) becomes the owner of the inherited or bequeathed wealth only after the testator – or the one whose estate one is inheriting – passes away, and not before. As such, it is not permitted for you to include in your Will what your parents have bequeathed for you, given that you do not currently own these assets.

However, there are two alternatives:

Firstly, your parents can give you a gift during their lifetime. In this case, you are allowed to include the gifted items in your Will; and even if you do not, your family will automatically inherit their respective shares according to Islamic law.

Secondly, your parents can include your family along with you in their Will, meaning they stipulate that should you pass away before them, the bequeathed items should be granted to your wife and/or children.

And Allah knows best

Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari
Darul Iftaa, Leicester, UK
www.daruliftaa.com