How Can a Woman Stipulate in Her Marriage Contract Her Right to Initiate Divorce?

Answered by Shaykh Umer Mian

Question: Assalamu alaykum

How can a woman stipulate in her marriage contract her right to initiate divorce?

Answer: Wa alaikum as-salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

Please read the article below. It should provide sufficient answer, in sha Allah.

Wassalam,
Umer

The Difference between Khul` and Divorce
Answered by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

Question: I was wondering what the fiqh is regarding the difference between khula and divorce. I also wanted to know the fiqh regarding putting a statement in a marriage contract as follows: “I reserve the right for you to divorce me if you observe your right to take another wife.” (meaning is it legal, halal to have a statement, and if so, what would be the proper wording of such a statement?)

Answer: In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,

The only difference between divorce and Khul’ is that a divorce is given by the man without demanding a financial payment form the wife, where as in khul’, the wife receives the divorce in return for a financial payment. This is usually in a situation where the husband in unwilling to give the divorce and the wife persuades him to issue the divorce in return of this payment.

It should be remembered that a Khul’ can not come into effect without the consent and agreement of the husband. The wife can persuade him to enter into the agreement of Khul’ but not enforce it upon him. For more details see the recent post on Khul’ on the Hanafi forum.

With regards to stipulating a right of divorce for the wife in the case where the husband fails to fulfill a certain promise or condition, this is permissible and known in the fiqh terminology as Tafweed.

If this tafweed takes place at the time of contracting the marriage, meaning the wife stipulates the condition, and demands the right to divorce her self in the case of non-fulfillment, it will be valid, provided one condition is met, which is that the offer of marriage is initiated by the woman coupled with the demand for Tafweed, and the man accepts this. If the opposite takes place, it will be void.
(See: Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar, 2/285 & Bahr al-Ra’iq, 3/318).

So the statement of the woman would be as follows: “I give my self to you in wedlock on the condition that you do not marry again and if you do then I have a right to divorce my self” and the husband says: “I accept you in my marriage in agreement with the condition stipulated”.

In this way, if the husband was to marry again, the wife would have the right to divorce herself. (For more details, see a previous post on ‘placing conditions in a marriage contract’.

And Allah knows best

Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari, UK
www.daruliftaa.co.uk

Can My Wife Divorce Me?

Answered by Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan

Question: Assalam alaykum,

My wife gave me divorce with lots of grievance and in angry condition. After that she became committed to me that she withdraw it. Recently she got angry again and went for a divorce. Then she came to know that the previous divorce is running. How can we get rid of it?

Answer: Wa alaykum al-Salam

If what you mean by your wife giving you a divorce, is that she pronounced a divorce and said to you that she divorces you, then this divorce is not valid. The power of divorce in Islam lies only with the husband. The pronouncement of divorce by the wife is null and void.

Yes, should the husband sign over his power of divorce to his wife, whereby he says to her, “divorce yourself from me” and she responds by saying, “I divorce myself from you” the divorce would be valid.

If however what you mean is that she applied for a separation in an Islamic court, and your marriage was annulled, then this would be valid. You would then be required, if you wish to reconcile with her, to remarry her in a new marriage contract.

And Allah knows best
Wassalam
[Shaykh] Abdurragmaan Khan

Shaykh Abdurragmaan
received ijazah ’ammah from various luminaries, including but not restricted to: Habib Umar ibn Hafiz—a personality who affected him greatly and who has changed his relationship with Allah, Maulana Yusuf Karaan—the former Mufti of Cape Town; Habib ‘Ali al-Mashhur—the current Mufti of Tarim; Habib ‘Umar al-Jaylani—the Shafi‘i Mufti of Makkah; Sayyid Ahmad bin Abi Bakr al-Hibshi; Habib Kadhim as-Saqqaf; Shaykh Mahmud Sa’id Mamduh; Maulana Abdul Hafiz al-Makki; Shaykh Ala ad-Din al-Afghani; Maulana Fazlur Rahman al-Azami and Shaykh Yahya al-Gawthani amongst others.

Is My Half Sister Mahram to Me?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam alaykum

I am an illegitimate child. Is my half sister mahram to me?

Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

Yes, if the lady in question has the same mother as you, she is from your unmarriageable kin (mahram) because she is your half-sister. However, if there is some kind of unwarranted attention which she may get from a half-brother by unveiling in his presence, she should carefully consider the wisdom in doing so.

As part of a longer verse, Allah Most High says, “Also forbidden to you for marriage are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters…” [4:23]

Generally, the basis is that children born out of wedlock are not ascribed to their biological fathers. This is because the establishment of paternal lineage (ithbat al-nasab) is a legal ruling which has specific requirements that don’t return to biological factors. Thus, and even if the father is known, you would not be deemed his son, you would not inherit from him, nor would his children be impermissible for you to marry.

Of course, if the father unconditionally claimed the child in a court setting, lineage would be established and the normal duties of paternity would apply; and with respect to you, his daughters would be impermissible for you to marry, so they need not cover in your presence.

Please note that this is an explanation of the law and limits of the discussion in question, and it has no bearing on the propriety of any such potential marriage.

[Kasani, Bada‘i al-Sana’i; Halabi, Multaqa al-Abhur; Abyani, Sharh al-Ahkam al-Shar‘iyya fi al-Ahwal al-Shakhsiyya (2.875)]

Please also see: Who is Mahram and: Are Step Siblings Mahram? and: Is My Half-Brother From My Unmarriageable Kin (Mahram)?

And Allah Most High alone knows best.

wassalam,

[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Tabraze Azam holds a BSc in Computer Science from the University of Leicester, where he also served as the President of the Islamic Society. He memorised the entire Qur’an in his hometown of Ipswich at the tender age of sixteen, and has since studied the Islamic Sciences in traditional settings in the UK, Jordan and Turkey. He is currently pursuing advanced studies in Jordan, where he is presently based with his family.

Is It Wrong to Not Be Optimistic About Finding a Spouse?

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Question: Assalamu alaykum

I don’t want to have children.

Is it wrong to think it will be more difficult for me to find a husband who doesn’t want children?

Is it a lack of trust in Allah?

Answer:  Walaikum assalam,

I hope you’re doing well, insha’Allah.

No, it is always good to have hope; a good opinion of Allah; and to take the means.

But it is best to prefer the Prophetic way and preferences to one’s inclinations and preferences. And from the Prophet’s way (Allah bless him and give him peace) is having children. Thus, one should prefer it, unless there are extenuating considerations to the contrary.

Please see: How Can I Stay Positive and Trust in Allah in Difficult Times? (Video) and: Islamic Parenting: Ten Keys to Raising Righteous Children – Faraz Rabbani – Vimeo

[Shaykh] Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Faraz Rabbani is a scholar and researcher of Islamic law and Executive Director of SeekersHub Global After ten years overseas, Shaykh Faraz returned to Canada in the Summer of 2007. In May 2008 he founded SeekersHub Global to deal with the urgent need to spread Islamic knowledge—both online and on the ground—in a reliable, relevant, inspiring, and accessible manner. He has been repeatedly listed as one of the world’s 500 most influential Muslims (The Muslim500).

How Can I Stop an Engagement Which I Am Unsure About?

Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah

Question: Assalamu alaykum

I met this guy through my parents the Islamic way, I agreed to get engaged but with hesitation and uncertainty. At the engagement party and I was freaking out because I don’t think that this is the guy for me. What should I do?

Answer: Assalam alaykum. I pray you’re well insha’Allah.

When choosing a spouse, it is important to make sure you feel comfortable with them. If you are hesitant and uncomfortable then it is best that you resolve these feelings before entering into the marriage.

Suggestions

It often helps to clear and crystallise one’s thoughts by expressing them outwards and speaking to others. This helps us realise what the core issues are, to differentiate whether the issue is with ourselves or with the other person, and identify the solutions available.

Try doing the following:

1. Write out all the issues on paper. Write everything, even if they don’t make sense or seem silly. Write down words that are associated in your mind about this person and the idea of marriage to him.

2. Leave it for one day and then return to the paper. While reading it this time, do any of those words feel different now or the same? If further things come to your mind on this second reading, write them down on the paper.

3. Speak to close and trustworthy family members or friends and go through the list. Listen to their advice and sleep on it.

4. Return to your list, has anything changed within you? If so, note it down.

5. Arrange one more sitting with the prospective spouse (in person) and see if this confirms your doubts or allays them. This way you would have given him a chance and confirmed/dispelled your fears.

6. If you still feel niggling anxieties and uncertainty, then speak to your parents. Tell them that you are not comfortable with this person and prefer not to proceed with the marriage. If speaking to your parents is difficult, then get a third party member to speak to them on your behalf.

7. Make plenty of du’a and pray Salatul Istikhara throughout the above steps.

Please also refer to this answer:

Will I Be Disobeying My Parents If I Turn Down a Marriage Proposal?

May Allah facilitate ease in your affairs and grant you a loving and kind spouse.

Warmest salams,

[Shaykh] Jamir Meah

Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007, he traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with a main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continues advanced studies in a range of Islamic sciences, as well as teaching. Jamir is a qualified homeopath.

How Can I Leave a Man Who Doesn’t Want to Divorce Me?

Answered by Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan

Question: Assalam alaykum,

I lived with my husband for 2 years. After that he sent me back to my parent’s home. He told me to not came back home. So for 2 years now I’m leaving alone with my 2 years old son. He never called to ask after his son and doesn’t spend money for my son.

We are still married legally . He doesn’t want to divorce and doesn’t want me to go back home. Am I still married in islamic point of view ?

Answer: Wa alaykum al-Salam

Thank you for writing to us.

If your husband has not divorced you, you are still considered his wife. However, your husband cannot keep you in a marriage where he provides no care and maintenance for you and your son. If you wish to exit this marriage and your husband refuses to divorce you, you will have to apply for an annulment by an Islamic Judiciary body, ideally in your country or city.

My suggestion would be for you to speak to reliable local scholars and they should be able to facilitate this for you.

May Allah guide and bless you.

And Allah knows best
Wassalam
[Shaykh] Abdurragmaan Khan

Shaykh Abdurragmaan
received ijazah ’ammah from various luminaries, including but not restricted to: Habib Umar ibn Hafiz—a personality who affected him greatly and who has changed his relationship with Allah, Maulana Yusuf Karaan—the former Mufti of Cape Town; Habib ‘Ali al-Mashhur—the current Mufti of Tarim; Habib ‘Umar al-Jaylani—the Shafi‘i Mufti of Makkah; Sayyid Ahmad bin Abi Bakr al-Hibshi; Habib Kadhim as-Saqqaf; Shaykh Mahmud Sa’id Mamduh; Maulana Abdul Hafiz al-Makki; Shaykh Ala ad-Din al-Afghani; Maulana Fazlur Rahman al-Azami and Shaykh Yahya al-Gawthani amongst others.

Should I Stay in Parent’s House or Wife’s Parents House?

Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah

Question: Assalamu alaykum

My wife wants me to live with her at her parents house. My parents won’t allow it.

What should I do?

Answer: Wa’alaykum assalam.

While it is important to give everyone their due rights, especially parents, there comes a time when a person has to assess a situation himself, and make a decision that he feels is the right thing to do, even if others disagree. You can’t please everyone all of the time.

Given the situation you have described, and if this is just a temporary situation, then I suggest that your wife stays at her parent’s house and your parents stay in their house, until the work in your house is complete. That way you are not asking anything from anyone.

As for yourself, if your wife has her own family around her and your parents are dependent on you, then it might be a good idea to stay with your parents, and visit your wife when you can during the week. Preferably, you should stay overnight with your wife twice a week, not leaving more than 4 days apart between visits, if this is possible. Your parents will just have to accept this. There is nothing to lose respect over.

If your parents are not dependent on you, then there is nothing wrong with you staying with your wife at her parents’ home. In this case, visit your parents in their house when possible.

If your parents get upset or angry, then be patient and kind with them.

Discuss things with your wife and your parents, make a firm decision, and pray Istikhara. Then act.

I wish you all the very best.

Warmest salams,
[Shaykh] Jamir Meah

Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007, he traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with a main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continues advanced studies in a range of Islamic sciences, as well as teaching. Jamir is a qualified homeopath.

My Husband Uses Me Only for Marital Intimacy. What Do I Do?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: Assalam aleykum,

For the past 20 years, I have been the one to financially support my husband and children. He tried to get a second wife, which he cannot afford. Am I wrong to get so upset, or to want him to spend time with me?

All my husband wants from me is sex.Please help me.

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us. Please forgive me for the delay.

Husband

`Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) narrated that Allah’s Messenger (upon him be blessings and peace) said, “No calamity befalls a Muslim but that Allah expiates some of his sins because of it, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn.” [Bukhari]

Dear sister, my heart goes out to you. Your tribulation is deeply painful and personal one. Your husband’s neglect, financial and emotional abuse is not your fault. Please believe that. You are a good woman, deserving of love and respect.

You have gone above and beyond the call of duty by financially supporting your husband and your children. That has been your husband’s responsibility, even if he continues to shirk it. I pray that Allah blesses you manifold for every cent you have given.

Reality

You cannot force your husband to treat you with dignity, respect and compassion. All you can do is communicate your needs and boundaries. Ultimately, the choice to stay, or to leave, lies with you.

You have endured this for twenty years. Please be honest with yourself. Do you see your husband’s behaviour changing? Or can you imagine a more tranquil existence? One where you enjoy the company of your children, and perhaps even the possibility of marriage to a man who appreciates you? At the very least, being free of your husband can mean a much more tranquil life, even if remarriage is not written for you.

Knowledge

Please empower yourself and your children by learning what an healthier marriage is meant to be like: enrol in the SeekersHub course Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriages.

I encourage you to read this book – Before You Tie the Knot: A Guide for Couples.

Moving forward

I encourage you to perform the Prayer of Guidance about how to move forward. If staying in your marriage is better for you, then a clear sign would be your husband making a sincere repentance, asking you for forgiveness, and striving to improve his relationship with you.

If leaving your marriage is better for you, then a clear sign is your husband continuing to hurt you, and not making any effort to heal your marriage.

Change is frightening and difficult, even when it is good for you. Place your trust in Allah. He will carry you through this. Your dignity and well-being matter to Allah.

Self-care

Mothers are most in need of nourishment, because we are the wellspring from which our families draw.

What are you doing to look after yourself? Please schedule in daily, weekly, monthly, bi-yearly and yearly breaks for yourself. Simple acts like enjoying a of tea, a walk through the park, or a weekly catch-up with a close friend – these recharges can help to get you through difficult times. Scheduling time for yourself can be very difficult to do when you are working to support your family, so I pray that Allah grants you a way out. Start with dua, and intention.

I recommend that you speak to a culturally-sensitive counsellor. Sometimes, speaking to a supportive professional can help you tap into what really matters to you.

Tahajjud

Tahajjud is a very special time. Even if it’s 5-10 minutes before the entry of Fajr, please take that time to sit with Allah and pour out your sorrow. Trust that He is All-Hearing and All-Knowing. Nothing is lost with Him. Please perform the Prayer of Need in this precious time. Ideally, strive to make this a regular practice – daily is best.

I pray that Allah grants you a clear way out and grants you the courage to do what pleases Him. Please keep in touch.

Please see:

My Husband Mistreats Me and He Doesn’t Pray
Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered

Wassalam,

[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.

My Friend’s Mother Pushes Him to Get Married to Her Niece. What Should He Do?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: Assalam aleykum,

My friend is in love with a young woman and wants to marry her. Unfortunately, against his wishes, his mother has arranged a marriage to his cousin. His mother said that if he is a good son who wants her duas, then he must obey her. What should he do?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.

Balance

This is a very challenging and delicate situation.

Please recommend this book to your friend: Before You Tie the Knot: A Guide for Couples by Salma Elkadi Abugideiri and Imam Mohamed Hag Magid. It has an excellent section which goes into detail about the challenge your friend is facing.

In short, the authors do not recommend getting into a marriage simply because one’s parents are forcing one to. This can lead to great heartbreak and resentment.

Mother

The obligation upon your friend is to treat his mother with respect and kindness. It is not obligatory upon him to follow her blindly. However, it is a major sin for him to break her heart. This is why it is so important for him to tread carefully.

I strongly encourage your friend to enrol in this course – Excellence With Parents: How to Fulfill the Rights of Your Parents.

Mediation

Is there another family member or community elder who can advocate for him? This situations sounds like it needs a delicate hand, and another elder may be the key to persuading his mother.

Your friend needs to communicate these points to his mother, in a way she can accept, most likely through the advocacy of an elder:

1) it is not her right to force her son into marriage.
2) her niece will be unhappy because her future husband is in love with another woman.
3) working together with her son instead of against him will help everyone in the long run.

Marriage

Please encourage your friend to perform the Prayer of Guidance about how to move forward. He must watch what Allah unfolds for him, as objectively as possible.

For example, a clear sign for him to pursue marriage with the woman he loves is his mother softening her stance. A clear sign for him to let go is his mother refusing to change her mind.

Please encourage your friend to perform the Prayer of Need in the last third of the night, even if it’s 5-10 minutes before the entry of Fajr. Ask him to beg Allah to make a way out of this situation.

Ideal

The best case scenario here is your friend winning his mother over and gaining her blessings before he marries the woman of his choice.

Persuading his mother will take some time and a lot of effort and patience. Some short-term discomfort and delay will pay off tremendously in the long run. Even the best of marriages take a lot of adjustment in the beginning, and it is far better for your friend to have his mother’s blessings.

Caution

If your friend does not successfully persuade his mother and decides to go ahead with marrying the woman he loves, then it may be an uphill battle. The stress of in-laws who do not accept a new spouse can be too much to bear, and end up causing divorce.

If your friend manages to keep his new marriage afloat, then often the birth of a child helps to smooth things over. Grandchildren have the uncanny ability to soften even the hardest of hearts.

I pray that Allah blesses your friend with the patience and the wisdom to be kind to his mother, while being honest with himself.

Please see:

Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered
Do I Have to Marry Someone Within My Caste to Please My Family?
Can My Mother Force Me to Marry Someone?

Wassalam,

[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.

My Wife Had an Affair. We Have a Young Daughter. What Do I Do?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: Assalam aleykum,

My wife had an affair with her co-worker, but she refuses to quit her job. When I check her phone location, she is not where she says she will be. Ours was a love marriage – she was Christian before she embraced Islam. We have a young daughter, whom I love very much. What do I do about my wife and daughter?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.

Spying

“O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.” [Qur’an, 49:12]

I am so sorry to hear that your wife has betrayed your trust, and continues to do so. You cannot control what she does, but you can control what you do. Please bear in mind that it is impermissible for you to spy on her.

I cannot imagine how frustrating that must be for you, so consider this – is your current strategy working? Is cross-examining her and finding out that she is lying bringing you both closer, or further apart? What can you do differently, to break this futile pattern?

Communication

Please sit down and have an honest discussion with your wife. Does she want to stay married to you? If she does, then what can you both do to rekindle your affection and increase trust and forgiveness?

If she does not, then it is better for you to end your marriage, then drag this out. If she is undecided, then encourage her to perform The Prayer of Guidance up til 7 times about what to do next. Please exhaust every option to save your marriage, but bear in mind that you cannot force her to stay and remain faithful to you.

Counselling

I encourage you to see a counsellor on your own, to help you decide whether or not you want to stay in your marriage.

If your wife is willing to work on your marriage, then it would be beneficial for both of you to go to couples’ counselling.

Please read these articles:

7 ways to become a better forgiver
Recovering from infidelity
5 ways to prevent infidelity

Self-Care

Please look after yourself during this stressful time. Are you sleeping well? Eating a balanced diet? Exercising? What is your prayer like? Are you making dua?

These acts of self-care are all acts of worship, given the right intention. When your spouse betrays your trust, it is easy to place complete focus on them, at the expense of your own emotional and physical well-being. Be mindful of this, and bring attention back to yourself, and your relationship with Allah.

Daughter

It is heartbreaking when children like your daughter are caught in between unhappy parents. As you are her father, then you must decide how to navigate this troubling situation. I urge you to perform the Prayer of Need and beg Allah to give you the strength to be present for your daughter during these troubled times. Children know when their parents are upset.

If your wife no longer wants to stay married to you, then both of you must decide how to break this devastating news to your daughter. Reassure her of your love for her, and that strive to cultivate a routine in which she is able to still spend time with both you and your wife.

From a religious perspective, it is important for you to nurture her Islam through word and deed, and the best testimony of your character is how you treat your family, especially under times of stress. Be mindful of dealing with your stress in a constructive and healthy way, so that you do not end up losing your temper with your daughter.

If your wife wants to stay married to you, then strive to build happier memories as a family. It is possible to build an even stronger marriage after an affair, but it will take tremendous strength of character from both you and your wife.

I pray that Allah grants you clarity and courage.

Please see:

Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered
A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah

[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.