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Raising a Believing Generation by Habib Umar bin Hafiz: Intentions and Supplications

(Four) Intentions and Supplications

Shaykh Amin Buxton

Children are a trust (amanah) that Allah most High has gifted us with. Raising believing children is a huge challenge and every pious parent passionately prays that they will be able to do so. We are blessed to have such guidance from one of the most illuminated scholars of our time; Habib Umar bin Hafiz. We will explore insights from Habib Umar bin Hafiz on how to raise the next generation of believers.

Habib Umar bin Hafiz is a master of the science of tarbiyah – nurturing of the human soul in the pursuit of perfection. Here, he turns his attention to tarbiyah as it applies to raising the next generation of strong believers.

Exploring Abdullah Nasih Ulwan’s work “Child Education in Islam”, he gives important insights and principles that any parent, carer, or educator can make good use of. The journey starts with considerations to be taken before embarking on the journey of parenthood and even marriage itself.

Intentions have a huge impact on our actions and have consequences both in this life and for eternity. We examine the effect intentions have when it comes to having children and what we intend and wish for our children. We look at the supplications which God’s pious servants make either to be blessed with children or to bless the children they already had.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Marry a woman who will bear many children and one who will be a loving wife because your number will be a source of pride to me in front of the other nations on the Day of Judgement.” [Abu Dawud]

 This hadith teaches us that one of our intentions in getting married should be to have children who will be a source of pride and joy for the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). We know that the pleasure of God and the pleasure of the Prophet are one and the same, so if you please the Prophet you please God Himself. This makes us realize the greatness and significance of having children.

Podcast Series based on the same topic – Believing Future

Sayyidah Hanna’s Intention

God tells us about the intention of Sayyidah Hanna – the mother of Maryam (may Allah be pleased with her). Sayyidah Hanna dedicated the child in her womb to the service of God and her words are recorded in the Quran: “Lord, I have vowed to You, in dedication, what is in my womb for Your service. So accept this of me, for You hear and know all things” [Qur’an, 3:35].

Assuming that it would be a male child, she dedicated it to the service of the scholars and worshippers in the Temple in Jerusalem. She did not want the child to bring her any worldly benefit, to bring in an income, or to support her. She wanted its only role to be one of service.

When she ended up giving birth to a female child she wondered how a young woman could serve in the Temple, having to come and go amongst the men who taught and worshipped there.

But Allah accepted her intention due to its sincerity and caused her to be remembered in the Qur’an until the end of time. She said: ‘I name her Mary and I commend her and her offspring to Your protection from the accursed Satan.” Her Lord graciously accepted her and made her grow in goodness’ [Qur’an, 3:36-37]. 

But Maryam is not the only fruit of her dedication: from Maryam comes Prophet Jesus and all the blessings which he brings. In fact, it is he who will save this nation from the Antichrist at the end of time. Thus the very fate of not just the Children of Israel but also the nation of Muhammad is tied up in that one intention.

  

The Prayer of Zakariya

Allah then tells us how He entrusts Maryam to the charge of the Prophet Zakariya (peace be upon him). Zakariya witnesses the miracle of this young girl receiving provision directly from God. Upon witnessing this, he prays then and there that he be blessed with a child:

‘Lord, from Your grace grant me virtuous offspring: You hear every prayer .’ [Qur’an, 3:38]

This is a prayer which we should use to call upon God with repeatedly, not just if we wish to have children, but also if we already have them, in the hope that they are pure and virtuous. It shows us that the desire of God’s chosen servants is for good, pure, and virtuous children. Unfortunately, this purity is not a concern for many Muslims whose main concern is for their children to be successful in a worldly sense. 

 

The Supplication of God’s Chosen Servants

Another important supplication that should be often on our tongues comes at the end of Surat al-Furqan where we find a beautiful description of God’s chosen servants. The final quality mentioned is that they say repeatedly:

“Our Lord, let our spouses and children be the delight of our eyes. Make us good examples to the pious” [Qur’an, 25:74].

The request of the people that God loves is that their spouses and their children be a source of joy to them in this life and the next. We know from how they are described in the previous verses that they would not take delight in anything worldly regarding their children.

Their joy is in the piety and uprightness of their children which will allow them to be reunited in Paradise. They do not only want them to be a joy to their eyes but also to the eyes of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and the pious. 

 This is not to say that good intentions are sufficient on their own. Parents must also fulfill their responsibilities in raising their children for which they will be accountable: “Allah will certainly ask every person about what was placed in their care – did they take care of it or did they neglect it. He will ask a man about his household” (Ibn Hibban).

But when the parents have good intentions when having children and are prepared to give children the best upbringing, the children are a source of great blessings.

 


About the Author

Shaykh Amin Buxton was born in London. He converted to Islam in 1999 and read Arabic and Islamic Studies at SOAS, University of London. He also studied the Islamic sciences in a traditional setting in both Syria and Yemen. He has edited and translated a number of books which include Imam al-Haddad’s ‘Beneficial Counsels’ and Umar al-Khatib’s ‘Prophetic Guidance’. Since 2017 he has resided with his family in Edinburgh, Scotland. He is involved in several educational and social initiatives including New to Islam Edinburgh and Rafah International. Shaykh Amin Buxton is producing a podcast for SeekersGuidance and is one of our esteemed internal scholars

 


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Should I Abort My Illegitimate Child if the Baby’s Father Has Run Away?

Question:

I am a 23-year-old girl and have been intimate with a man who has been Muslim for two years. I have found out I am pregnant. Once I told him this, he messaged me, “On the Holy Quran I am never having any children with you. I will never be there for you, and the child will never know me.” I really want to keep this baby, but my child will never have a father or family as I will lose them too. What do I do? Will Allah forgive me if I have an abortion?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I am so terribly sorry for the pain that you are going through and for finding out that the baby’s father is a flake. The absolute best answer that I can give you is here, please read it fully:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/pregnant-zina-not-want-abortion-want-repent/

 

Abortion

If a woman wants to abort because the child would be illegitimate, and she would not have support, it would not be a valid reason to abort. Please see the details here:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/when-is-having-an-abortion-permitted/

 

Involve Your Parents

This is a very, very sensitive topic, and your circumstances are very challenging. Despite this, you should communicate the problem to your parents. You absolutely cannot go through this alone. A pregnancy requires all kinds of support and help, and when they get past the shock and emotion, they will actually think things through with you, by the grace of Allah, and help you.

 

Allah’s Mercy

Allah is Merciful and forgives all sins, place your trust in Him and repent sincerely. See the details here:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/living-religion/sincere-repentance-zina/
Please supplicate to Allah to help you navigate this difficult time and apply the tips given above at the link. May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

 

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Is It Selfish To Not Want Children?

Question: I am 30 and decided not to have kids because of the abysmal state of my mental health. I do not have anything to offer and do not want them to become emotionally/spiritually void like me or suffer neglect. My husband is nice and primarily does all the work, but he is not an intellectual or logical planning type, so he cannot raise them himself. He says is okay with the decision, but says “Ameen” to relatives making dua for kids. Am I sinning and being selfish?

Answer

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. The short answer is yes. You are being selfish and potentially sinning by refusing to give your husband children. He has every right to leave you, and this is valid grounds for divorce.

 

Children

The benefits of having children are plentiful, some of them being: they give you a new perspective on your priorities, they teach you about yourself, they help bond your marriage, they bring out the best (and worst) in you, and generally things change and improve in one’s life from the blessing of a child.

The religious virtues of having children are great, including the fact that a child who prays for you after you are gone will be a continual charity for you. Please see those details here:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/the-virtues-of-having-children/

The Prophetic command was to have many children so that he, Allah bless him and grant him peace, could boast about our numbers on the Day of Judgment. Raising a child to believe in Allah and His Messenger is no light matter and it should be the goal of every logical or intellectual Muslim parent.

 

Inadequate

As for your feelings of inadequacy, rest assured that we are all in the same boat. None of us is perfect, and most parents pray to Allah that He guides them to be the best people they can be and to protect them from every harm. If you feel that your mental health should be diagnosed or if you need medication, please consult a medical professional. It is important to deal with that in the correct way.

The situation that you describe with your husband seems to me to be the perfect fit for parenthood. You can be the logical one that leads the way and sets their goals, and your husband can be the one who does the heavy lifting of their physical care. If you are both happy with this arrangement and agree to it, then I feel that you should proceed.

 

Pray and Learn

As usual with any big decision, pray Istikhara and ask Allah to open your heart to this idea if that is what He really wants from you. Communicate to Him about your shortcomings and ask him to help you overcome them and send you that which will make your family whole and committed to Allah’s pleasure.
https://seekersguidance.org/articles/prophetic-guidance/the-reality-of-istikhara-2/

Please take a course on raising children and basic fiqh to ensure that you are proceeding with full knowledge of your responsibilities and the rights of children. May Allah grant you children that will be the coolness of your eyes, a means of continual charity, and a reason for your eternal happiness.

https://seekersguidance.org/courses/absolute-essentials-of-islam-hanafi-getting-started-with-your-belief-and-practice/ 

https://seekersguidance.org/courses/marriage-in-islam-practical-guidance-for-successful-marriage/

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Can a Dead Fetus Be Buried Along With Its Mother?

Question: Can a dead fetus be buried along with its mother?

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Dear questioner,

Thank you for your important question.

Yes, when a woman dies while pregnant and a fetus dies inside her, they do not have to be buried separately.

If, however, the woman dies and the fetus is still alive, the baby must be aborted. If then the baby is born by a cesarean section from the dead mother, shows signs of life, and then dies, it must be washed and prayed over, and it also must be shrouded and have its own burial. (Bushra al-Karim, Ba-Ishn)

I pray this helps.

[Ustadh] Farid Dingle

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Farid Dingle has completed extensive years of study in the sciences of the Arabic language and the various Islamic Sciences. During his studies, he also earned a CIFE Certificate in Islamic Finance. Over the years he has developed a masterful ability to craft lessons that help non-Arabic speakers gain a deep understanding of the language. He currently teaches courses in the Arabic Language.

 

Ten Things Children Can Learn from the Coronavirus

Ten Things Children Can Learn from the Coronavirus

By Hosai Mojaddidi

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Source: https://www.instagram.com/hosaimojo/?hl=en

Earlier this evening, my husband was talking to the kids over dinner about the coronavirus (COVID-19) when the topic of how it started came up. He told them about the “wet markets” in China and further explained how different people across the world eat wild animals or bushmeat to survive.

Despite my subtle attempt to change the subject, which I found too revolting over dinner, they were eager to hear all the gory details about different types of animals that humans were known to eat.

I eventually walked away but first asked my husband to teach the boys about the incredible wisdom of our faith in prohibiting the consumption of specific types of animals, mainly carnivorous ones. 

Right now we have a golden opportunity as parents to make the most of this global catastrophe. Here are some ideas:

  1. Teach children about the fiqh of food consumption which includes the different categories of permissible/impermissible meat.
  2. Teach children and re-emphasize the importance of cleanliness in Islam, not just to wash their hands frequently.
  3. Teach children the importance of wanting for “your brother what you want for yourself,” and sharing/caring in this “nafsy nafsy” climate.
  4. Teach children the power of the prayer of Istikhara in times of uncertainty.
  5. Teach children that despite technology, modern science, etc., human beings will ALWAYS be weak and dependent on God, and this is PROOF. When a small invisible virus can bring the world to its knees, never underestimate the power of Allah. We will always be in need of Him whereas He is free of all needs!
  6. Teach children the value of time, because they will feel it being stretched in the next few weeks, months, etc.
  7. Teach children the value of the elderly, for they have been unjustly erased in our world and now many people will live to regret pushing them away.
  8. Teach children the value of their Masjid and community centers as events will be shut down and they will realize how much value being with fellow community members even for a few hours every week brought to their lives.
  9. Teach children the importance of saying “Bismillah,” and “Insha Allah”, as anything void of the name of Allah has no blessing.
  10. Teach children that this world is temporal, death is a transition and NOT an end, and no matter how one dies or when, the only thing that matters is that they die with the testification of faith (shahada) upon their lips.

May Allah increase us all, draw us closer to Him, and protect us from harm. Ameen.


 

About the Author

“For over 20 years I’ve had the honor of serving the Muslim communities in the greater Bay Area and Orange County/LA areas as an organizer, teacher, spiritual counselor, mentor, and mental health advocate.”

In 1996, Sister Hosai began to take classes at Zaytuna College, as well as help organize events and eventually became a recognized activist in the community. One of her main areas of focus was to help create a strong sisterhood for the women in the community by leading halaqas (spiritual study circles). In addition, she organized support groups, offered individual spiritual counseling & mentoring, and couples’ spiritual therapy.

In 2010 sister Hosai launched the website MH4M (www.mentalhealth4muslims.com) and began writing and sharing useful guidance on social media. The website gathered a global audience quickly.

Sister Hosai teaches at MCC Easy Bay monthy, as well as offering workshops and other talks to Islamic schools and masjids for the greater community. She shares timeless and practical advice through her social media channels.

Source: http://hosaimojaddidi.com/about/

 

Cultivating Patience Through Your Young Children

Trust in Allah

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil explores how having small children can build patience and help you get closer to Allah.patience

When you are a mother to young children, one crucial virtue is developed over the slow and inexorable passage of time – patience. With little ones, everything is slowed down. They need so much support, from the minute they are born to many years after that.

Gratitude

Having little children also gives me so many things to feel grateful for. Basic acts that I once took for granted are suddenly so precious. Sleeping for long stretches at night, eating a meal, or drinking hot tea without interruption – these are the small blessings that I didn’t even realize were blessings, until I had one baby, and then another.

I became a mother upon the arrival of my first daughter, in June 2015. I have been either pregnant, breastfeeding, or both, ever since. Because of this, I have been living in a very different, almost altered, state of reality. The potent combination of oxytocin, broken sleep, cuddles, and tantrums have been the ultimate crucible for the straitening of my nafs.

I will surface out of this, someday, and I pray that the version of myself will be kinder, more patient, more resilient, and more grateful. Most of all, I hope I will sleep better.

Losing Control

Before I had children, I was impatient. I liked to feel in control. I liked life to go ‘to plan’. I was a meticulous planner, and I realized now how much I relied on external calm to help me attain some measure of internal calm. It would never last, of course. Allah Most High always sent me something to knock the wind out of me – again.

Now I’ve come to realize that with raising little ones, there is no control. There is only surrender, and embracing the chaos.

Babies Without Schedules

While I was a fresh-faced undergrad, I knew a mother who smiled at my carefully curated study timetables. She smiled, chuckled, then said, “Babies have their own schedule.” I had no idea what she meant. Ten years later, and I finally do.

Resistance to Reality Causes Stress

Stress is resistant to reality. And I can make a tough afternoon with my girls even harder by wishing I were somewhere else. What actually helps is taking a deep breath, exhaling, and accepting that this is hard, and asking myself – what do I need to nourish myself, right now? Often, everything feels worse when I’ve forgotten to eat, in the rush of feeding my kids. Filling my own self-care cup is the best way for me to meet the needs of my small children.

Accept the Untouched Planner

I don’t have a planner anymore. Actually, I do, but I rarely get the chance to use it. My eldest daughter draws cats on the mostly untouched pages, and she was so excited to see how I had circled her birth date in June, and wrote “My baby turns 4!”. She insisted that I write it again, so I did.

Something so unremarkable to me – writing words on paper – utterly enthralls her. And that’s one of the many gifts of having such little children. There are so many firsts, and everything is a marvel. They slow us down and bring us the gift of the present moment. Babies and small children are masters of mindfulness. It’s up to us to choose to be open to what they have to teach us, every day.


Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers through Qibla Academy and SeekersHub Global. She also graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales.

The Ruling of Shaving a Newborn’s Head in the Hanafi School?

Question: What is the ruling of shaving a newborn’s head in the Hanafi school? Why is it not considered a sunna?
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate
The act of shaving the head of the child is established from the Hadith of the Prophet (may Allah bless him and give him peace), however, the scholars differed over the exact meaning of the Hadith and its legal ruling.
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “With the child, there is an ‘Aqiqa, so spill forth blood on their behalf and remove from them harm” [Bukhari].
In this narration, some scholars understood the statement ‘remove from them harm’ to mean the hair that the child was born with. Others took it to mean circumcision and yet others took it to have a general meaning [Mulla ‘Ali Qari, ‘Umda al-Qari Sharh Sahih al-Bukhari].
However, the Hanafi school has not considered the shaving of the newborn’s hair to be intrinsically a Sunna, rather recommended.
The Term ‘Recommended’
The text that you quoted indicates the ruling of shaving the head, which is recommended or mustahabb in Arabic.
Recommended actions are such actions that one is rewarded for doing. However, one is not sinful nor blamed for not doing them [Shurunbulali, Maraqi al-Falah].
In the terminology of Islamic Jurisprudence, there is a difference between what is deemed a Sunna and what is deemed to be of a lower category.
The word sunna and the word recommended can sometimes be used interchangeably. In legal jargon, the word sunna when mentioned without any descriptor generally means an emphasized sunna or a sunna of guidance.
The word ‘recommended’ may be used instead of sunna because certain actions or commands of the Prophet (may Allah bless him and give him peace) fall unto one of the following example categories:
Examples of Recommended Acts
(1) The command is merely a command of recommendation, not an obligation. Generally, these types of commands are not directly related to the Prophet’s mission of conveying guidance, rather relate to general advice.
For example, the Prophet’s command to wear white.
He (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Wear of your garments that which is white, for it is the best of your garments…” [Tirmidhi].
(2) The particular practice of the Prophet (may Allah bless him and give him peace) being a practice of habit or form not directly related to His mission of conveying guidance.
An example of this would be the method by which the Prophet (may Allah bless him and give him peace) drank water or the clothing He wore.
These are just examples to shed some light on the issue; this is not an exhaustive list.
Summary
Thus, even though one can say that wearing white or drinking sitting down are Sunna, Scholars would make a distinction between the sunna of wearing white and the sunna of praying the two units of prayer before Fajr.
The former is thus called by the scholars ‘recommended’ and the latter an emphasized sunna. Note, recommended is sometimes referred to as non-emphasized sunna [Shurunbulali, Maraqi al-Falah].
With that being said, the shaving of the newborn is recommended in the Hanafi school. In other words, it is a non-emphasized sunna.
Hope this helps
Allah knows best
[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

 

Shaykh Yusuf Weltch is a graduate from Tarim; a student of Habib Umar and other luminaries; and authorized teachers of the Qur’an and the Islamic sciences

Rights and rulings of an illegitimate child

Question: In the case of an illegitimate child, who is mahram to him/her, who has to support him, and what rights and obligations does the biological father have?

Short Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Dear questioner,

Thank you for your important question.

Although a child born out of wedlock is technically not the child of the biological father, as a point of human and Islamic decency he should step up and help both financially and emotionally, where possible.

Fuller Answer:

The bed and the stone

The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, ‘The child will be attributed to the “bed” and the adulterer will receive the stone.’ (Muslim)

The “bed” here means the marital bond, such that the child will be ascribed to the husband of the wife unless he undertakes a public imprecation of her (lian). (Sharh Muslim, Nawawi)

Mahrams

In the case of a married woman committing adultery, the child would be the mahram of the husband of the child’s mother, and the mahram of his relatives. (Again, unless her husband legally disowns the child (lian wa nafy).)

Now if the woman was not married, she and her relatives, children, and future husband would all be mahrams to the child.

Finances

In the case of adultery when the husband does not legally disown the child (lian wa nafy), the husband of the child’s mother would be obliged to support him/her, and he/she will inherit from him. This would apply even after divorce.

Now if the woman was not married, then the child will only be ascribed to her and will have no legal father, so she, or whoever is obliged to support her, would be obliged to support the child. So, for example, if she got married in the future, her husband would then have to support the child.

The child would only inherit from her mother, and not her biological father or new stepfather.

The biological father would in principle have no rights or responsibilities whatsoever. Hence, the stone analogy in the hadith.

Taking some responsibility

When one is old enough to have sex, then one is old enough to take responsibility for one’s actions. Someone who gets a woman pregnant and walks away literally leaving her carrying the baby is extremely inconsiderate.

Being a single mum, no matter what government support this is no easy task. It is emotionally, physically, organisationally, mentally draining, and, for many, financially taxing.

Although it is true that a Sharia court would not oblige the biological father to take any emotional or financial role in the child’s life, there is nothing to say one should not step up and help out someone else in need. This is especially the case when one was the cause of the difficulty placed upon them.

Please also see:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/can-i-claim-a-child-from-an-illicit-relationship/

I pray this helps.

[Shaykh] Farid

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Farid Dingle  has completed extensive years of study in the sciences of the Arabic language and the various Islamic Sciences. During his studies, he also earned a CIFE Certificate in Islamic Finance. Over the years he has developed a masterful ability to craft lessons that help non-Arabic speakers gain a deep understanding of the language. He currently teaches courses in the Arabic Language

Dealing Problems With Abusive Father

Answered by Shaykh 

Question: I’m a woman who lives with both parents and siblings home. My dad has sexually abused me for 13 long years without my mom knowing. Do I have any right to leave my parents’ home and never speak to my dad again?

Answer: Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh

Dear sister, I pray Allah gives you a quick release from these difficulties you have endured. The difficulty of the situation and the burden of the secret must have been unbearable.

You have every right to leave your parents’ home; in fact, you must. You need to take all the steps to get yourself out of harm’s way, as living in such an environment is clearly very harmful to you.

Allah Hates Oppression

The Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, quoted Allah Almighty Himself to have said, “Truly, I have made it forbidden on myself to wrong anyone; and I have made it severely forbidden for you! So do not oppress each other!“ (Muslim)

Allah hates oppression, and it is necessary for you to end this cycle by moving away to your new school. This will prevent the continuation of this problem.

When you are ready, you need to discuss this matter with your mother. Do not break ties with her due to your father’s actions. She must know, as there are legal ramifications to this situation too. Also, if he has been secretly doing this to you all these years, it is very likely that there have been other victims.

If he’s managed to keep it a secret from your mother, it’s possible that you could have kept other similarly vile acts a secret. Even if there aren’t any other females he has access to, it needs to be brought up: some younger males could be in danger too.

Distance Yourself

At this point, you need to get out of harm’s way and focus on healing. I don’t advise you to go near your father again for the foreseeable future. The scars you have will take a long time to heal. You will need a lot of therapy and a supportive company to move beyond this.

This is a safeguarding issue, and it should be reported to the authorities. Usually, it is the silence of the victims that emboldens people like this to prey on others. This may even be in his own interests to prevent him from further harm to others.

Supplication

Keep supplicating to Allah for a way out, healing, and for you and your loved ones to stay safe. In the Qur’an, Allah commands us to be excellent to our parents (Qur’an, 17:23). The wording indicates that they deserve this just for being the means of entering this world.

Putting up with harm, and restraining yourself from a bad response are both forms of excellence. If things do get out don’t you yourself think that you are being bad, and don’t let anyone else convince you of that either. I’d say you’ve shown plenty of excellence through these all these years, to both of your parents.

Find Support

Find someone who can support you through this and take the necessary steps. Don’t think about cutting ties or anything right now. The priority is to get away and heal. Things may get worse before they get better.

You don’t have to go near him, nor do you have to speak to him at this point. In fact, it’s better you don’t.

As a closing thought, I’d say that such tests are not given to everyone. They are very hard, and the pain may seem unbearable, but the gifts Allah has in store for you will be infinite and unimaginable great. Have a daily dose of reminders on patience and fortitude, and this seminar may be useful on your journey to healing. Get professional help.

May Allah take very special care of you. Amin.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with erudite scholars such as Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh Abdurrahman Arjan, Shaykh Hussain Darwish, and Shaykh Muhammad Darwish. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic with teachers such as Dr. Ashraf Muneeb, Dr. Salah Abu’l-Hajj, Dr. Hamza al-Bakri, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Dr. Mansur Abu Zina, and others. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Qur’anic recital by Shakh Samir Jabir and Shaykh Yahya Qandil. With Shaykh Ali, he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Qur’anic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.

Ramadan Rejuvenation for Kids | A Puppet Show on the Shifa – Ustadha Shireen Ahmed

In this Ramadan daily series for young children, educator Ustadha Shireen Ahmed gives daily lessons from the Shifa of Qadi Iyad on the character and virtue of the Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace). The story is told from the perspective of a student of Qadi Iyad, who explains the text to his young son Mahmud. These episodes feature unique puppets which explain the lessons in story format to make them easier for young children to follow. This series streams daily this Ramadan at 9:30am ET at https://seekersguidance.org/live/.

Click here to download the colouring page.

Click here to view the full playlist.