Is It a Must for My Father to Be There When I Will Marry My Wife?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam alaykum

Is it a must for my father to be there when I will marry my wife?

I have left my father in very bad terms a while ago.

Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

Yes, it is possible to have a valid marriage without parental approval, yet this is normally very problematic. In any case, I’d advise consulting with some local scholars because such situations can be sensitive.

Please also see: Obeying Parents in Matters of Marriage and: Marriage & Obedience to Parents and: When May Parents Be Disobeyed, and How?

And Allah Most High alone knows best.


[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Tabraze Azam holds a BSc in Computer Science from the University of Leicester, where he also served as the President of the Islamic Society. He memorised the entire Qur’an in his hometown of Ipswich at the tender age of sixteen, and has since studied the Islamic Sciences in traditional settings in the UK, Jordan and Turkey. He is currently pursuing advanced studies in Jordan, where he is presently based with his family.

How Can I Make Binding on My Spouse to Not Prevent Me From Getting the Custody of My Disabled Sibling?

Answered by Ustadh Salman Younas

Question: I have a younger sibling who is disabled. After my parents, I am the only one who can take care of her. If I am to get married, how can I ensure that my spouse and in-laws will be willing to accept her as a part of my family? I wish to make this one of the conditions to the wedding, that she shall be my responsibility.

Answer: assalamu alaykum

This is something that you should be clear about when meeting a potential spouse/in-laws so that you can receive a clear answer regarding whether they are supportive and understanding of your sister’s condition and the circumstances surrounding her care.

From a legal perspective, you may stipulate in your marriage contract that you and your husband will both be responsible for the care of your sister. You should detail what this entails to avoid any future dispute: living with you and other related arrangements, financial aspects, and so forth. This condition would be sound and binding upon the husband due to the Qur’anic command to “fulfill your contracts” (5:1) and the prophetic tradition that “the Muslims are those who fulfill the conditions they stipulate.” [Abu Dawud] The principles of the Hanbali school also lend support to this since they deem stipulating conditions in the marriage contrast as valid. [Ibn Qudama, al-Mughni]

I have had this ruling confirmed by senior scholars, as well, such as al-Sharif Hatim al-Awni (God preserve him).


Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

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