Posts

How Can I Maintain the Spiritual High I Had During Umrah When I Return Home?

Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari

Question: I went to umrah a while ago.  I’ve never experienced anything like that before – the spiritual high and the magnificence of being close to Allah. Ever since I’ve come back I’m always struggling in all aspects of my life and with my practice of Islam.   Personal, family, and religious problems are plaguing me and it is all difficult to handle. I’m also dealing with long term unemployment and a lot of debt.  I wish I could go back to umrah – that’s where I want to be right now. I pray hard but my life doesn’t get better. I really can’t find any coping strategies to deal with my problems and to better myself. I understand that life is a struggle and a huge test but I would really appreciate some advice on how to cope because everything’s getting out of control. Please help.

Answer: Dear Sister,

Assalamu alaikum,

I pray you are feeling better.

My advice is to try to recall specifically what gave you that “spiritual high” from your Umrah and try to recreate that in daily life. The whole point of this exercise should be to remind you that Allah placed us out in the world for a reason. Had He wanted you to have that experience everyday, He would have made you a resident of Mecca! So there must be some wisdom in your present life circumstances.

Obviously, being unemployed and in debt is adding to your stress, so please do whatever you can to tackle this problem by availing yourself of all career counseling and networking opportunities out there.

I think the true test is not how we behave when we’re at the House of Allah, but how we carry over those feelings, emotions, and recharged iman to everyday life.

And Allah knows best,

Zaynab

Emotional Distress: Dealing With Broken Relationships

Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari Abdul-Razacq

Question I am going through a period of depression over a relationship with a non-Muslim girl that has ended. I have asked for forgiveness for my mistakes. The consequences of this relationship have been an abundance of negative feelings and troubling thoughts that have taken over my mind including jealousy, suspicion, withdrawal symptoms, anxiety, hurt, and sadness. I was wondering if there is an Islamic procedure to rid the mind of unwanted thoughts and give me peace of mind.


Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds. May the peace and blessings of Allah descend on the Prophet Muhammad, his family, his companions, and their followers.
Dear Brother,

Assalamu alaikum,

Thank you for your question. I pray you are feeling better.

My advice is to learn from your mistakes in a positive way. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts, look within you to see why you entered into this relationship. How can you become a better Muslim and a stronger person from this experience?

To feel hurt at the end of a relationship is natural. However, given the nature of the relationship, you should be thankful to Allah it has ended. Maybe this was Allah’s way of calling you back to Him.

You should make dua for this woman and ask Allah to guide her. And you should move on with your life. One of the best ways to do this is by being of service to others. Are you young, healthy, and single? If so, there is so much you can do for the Muslim community and the larger society. But before you help others, you’ll have to rectify yourself. Give priority to your spiritual needs. What do you need to grow in your Islam, Iman, and Ihsan?

Finally, please read this excellent answer by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani, “Fighting Depression through the Remembrance of Allah.”

Once you make time in your life for prayer, Qur’an, dhikr, and salawat upon the Messenger, you won’t have time to dwell on the negative.

May Allah Ta’ala give you healing,

Zaynab Ansari Abdul-Razacq

July 25, 2010/Sha’ban 13, 1431

Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Zaynab Ansari Abdul-Razacq is a wife and mother residing in the southeastern United States. She graduated from Abu Nour University’s precollege program in 2000 and has remained active in teaching and studying sacred knowledge through SunniPath and SeekersGuidance. She holds undergraduate degrees in history and Middle Eastern Studies and is a certified public speaker.

Trying to Practice but Feel Like a Failure: What Should I Do?

Answered by Sidi Abdullah Anik Misra

Question: I am a 15 year old Aspergers Child and am a sophmore at a Catholic high school. I was never given a proper chance to learn about Islam formally. I used to learn Quran with my dad but I later stopped. I was never accustomed to fasting or praying and I still am unable to pray all 5 daily prayers. On top of this, I am having issues with my studies, trying to stay away from dating, dances, and so forth. My dad tells me that unless I shape up and get good grades and becoming practicing, I’m not going to be an A grade in life. I”ve tried performing all my rpayerbut after a while I stop. My mom and my sister try to stop me from fasting during school days and discourage me from doing so. I feel depressed about my life and I feel like I am a big failure. What do I do?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Thanks for writing to us. I think that as a 15 year old, in an environment where there aren’t many Muslims and Islam isn’t taught, without much support from family and while struggling against high school temptations, just the fact that you have so much concern about your Islamic practice is a huge blessing!

Just think about it: there are many other youth who are totally lost, not knowing the slightest thing about their faith, let alone worrying and stressing about how to please Allah. When I read your account, I didn’t see you as a failure at all- rather, I think you are strong and insha Allah, your attitude is one of success.

Success with Allah Most High is often attained through struggling against one’s own self, one’s desires, and in striving to resist the demands to do wrong that society invites you to.  This was how the prophets (peace be upon them), the best of mankind, lived their entire lives- through challenges and difficulty. By trying to maintain your Deen (your faith) in your situation, you are following in their footsteps.

My advice would be to try to try putting what you read into practice bit by bit. Start by making dua’ to Allah Most High regularly when alone; ask Him to make your journey easy for you. Begin integrating your 5 daily prayers into your schedule without delay – the prayers are a must and they will keep you away from bad things and uplift your spirit. Most importantly, get yourself into Islamic company: visit the masjid more often, make Muslim friends, and even spend time reading Qu’ran or attending talks with your Dad.

If anyone should discourage you from practicing, be polite and patient with them, but do not give up what Allah Most High has made a duty upon us. Distract yourself from the temptations of dating and bad company by focusing on school work, and perhaps in your spare time, take a basic course on an Islamic subject online (see Seekers Guidance from more details).

Don’t let yourself get down about the challenges. You’re doing very well, and once you integrate prayers and good company into your life, you will see how much easier and fulfilling it gets, insha Allah.  May Allah Ta’ala reward you.

Wasalam,
Abdullah Misra

Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani