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My Wife Does Not Want to Move in With My Elderly Mother and Disabled Brother. What Do I Do?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: My elderly mother lives alone at home. I am her youngest child, and I live with my wife and children in our own home. I would like to move back in with my mother but my wife is does not want to because of the neighbourhood and my brothers are often present at my mother’s house.

I feel if I say to my wife, “I want to move in and you have to come with me,” it will cause issues among us. What can I do?

Answer: Assalam alaykum wa rahmatuLlahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for seeking out an answer to this dilemma.

Balance

This is a very challenging situation. On one hand, you want to keep your mother company in her old age, and bring happiness to her heart. On the other hand, your wife does not want to give up her right to private quarters.

I encourage you to perform the Prayer of Guidance up til 7 times about moving in with your mother. Watch how events unfold to help you ascertain the best way to move forward.

Logistics

Asking your wife to move in with her elderly mother-in-law and disabled brother-in-law is asking her to go above and beyond the call of duty. Please acknowledge that and express that to your wife. Explain that you know that this situation is not ideal, but you’d like to figure out a compromise. Don’t make the mistake of demanding this from her. See her perspective, and do your best to win her over. Please perform the Prayer of Need every day, especially in the last third of the night, and beseech Allah for help.

It is common for marriages to fall apart because of the stress of living with in-laws. Please seek protection from that. On the other hand, living with your mother is an excellent way of being of service to her in her old age. insha Allah your wife will be able to be on board and secure her place in Jannah through her sacrifice.

Repentance

The Messenger of Allah (upon him be blessings and peace) said: “Whoever persists in asking for forgiveness, Allah will grant him relief from every worry, and a way out from every hardship, and will grant him provision from (sources) he could never imagine.” [Ibn Majah]

Make constant istighfar every day and trust Allah will make a way out for you.

Alternatives

What are some alternatives you can both come up with? An option is for all of you to spend the weekends at your mother’s home, and weekdays in your own home. At least this way, she gets some company. Perhaps start with this first, and see how it goes.

Another option is for you to make the effort to spend more time with your mother during the week. Try to see if you can have dinner with her at least on Mondays and Wednesdays.

Based on your wife’s concerns, would your mother be willing to sell her home and move to a different neighborhood? I know that is probably unlikely. Most elderly people do not fare well with big life changes, so it would be more realistic for your wife to accept that nosy neighbors are part of life, and a means of refining her character.

Moving in

If there is no other option other than moving in, then I encourage you to please refer to this website, Contented In-Laws, for some excellent tips. This rule is especially useful—Rule #8 Try to Buy a House with a Living Room and Bathroom for Each Party.

Even though your mother and your wife have a good relationship right now, it is extremely challenging for both of them to share the same living space, every single day. Allah knows this about His creation, hence the wisdom behind the ruling of a wife’s rights to her own separate quarters. However, for many families around the world, moving in is the only option. This is why having a separate kitchen, living room, bedroom and bathroom makes a world of a difference.

If you do move in with you mother, then ensure that you set firm boundaries with your brothers when they come to visit.

Balance

I cannot state this enough: please do your best to strike a healthy balance between your mother and your wife. You may be torn with feelings of guilt because you are not living with your mother, and you may also be feeling frustrated with your wife. Both of them have valid perspectives, and your role is to give both their due, to the best of your ability. You will juggle this role for as long as you, your mother, and your wife are alive. I pray that Allah grants you the wisdom and compassion to fulfill this role, and reward you immensely for your struggles.

When registration reopens, I strongly encourage you to do The Rights of Parents course and the Islamic Marriage: Guidance for Successful Marriage and Married Life course. In the meantime, you can download the free lesson sets on Getting Married.

Please learn what the rights of your mother and your wife are, in order to help you fulfill them. Don’t rely on cultural norms or expectations—rely on what Allah demands of you.

Please see:

What Are Some Prophetic Supplications That Can Help Me Deal With Trials in My Life?
A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah

Wassalam,
[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi‘i fiqh, Arabic, Sirah, Aqidah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajwid. She continues to study with her Teachers through Qibla Academy and SeekersHub Global. She also graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales.

How To Manage Problems With In-Laws – Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

How To Manage Problems With In-Laws. A Muslim Perspective from Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

The closest relationship a person will ever experience in their lifetime is with their spouse. In this SeekersGuidance seminar, we learn how to cultivate this union to the fullest, how to overcome common hurdles, and how to maintain a high degree of moral conduct and excellent character.

For more info and FREE registration for our upcoming seminars – wherever you are in the world, visit SeekersGuidance Toronto.

Cover photo by Azlan DuPree.

My In-Laws Spoil My Child and Are a Negative Influence. What Should I Do?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: Assalam’aleykum,

My in-laws spoil my daughter, criticise me on how I treat her, and I fear that they will be a negative influence on her as they are less practising that my husband and me. What should I do?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.

In-Laws

The topic of in-laws is often a very sensitive one. I encourage you and your husband to be on the same page when it comes to dealing with his parents. Find a way to communicate both of your concerns calmly and respectfully.

All families have their in-built set of communication defaults, even if they are problematic. Accept that you cannot change their style of communication, but you can work with it, instead of against it.

Is there a culturally-sensitive marriage counsellor in your locality? This would be an excellent way for you to learn how to learn to be assertive with your in-laws, while remaining respectful. Even if your husband doesn’t want to go to counselling, I encourage you to go on your own so that you can learn better stress management strategies, alongside conflict resolution methods.

I strongly encourage you to read the book “Daughter-In-Law Rules” by Sally Shields.

Keeping ties

‘A’isha (may Allah be pleased with her) reported that the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, “Kinship is derived from Allah. If anyone maintains ties of kinship Allah maintains ties with him. If anyone cuts them off, Allah cuts him off.” [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad]

There is tremendous reward in keeping ties with family, especially close members such as your husband’s parents. I encourage you and your husband to commit to visiting his parents, as well as yours, on a regular basis. Set the intention to bring happiness to your in-laws, and ideally, stay in their home for a short time. Whatever discomfort you feel as you stay under their roof is only temporary. If this is still too difficult, then book accommodation close to their home, and visit them. They will be unhappy that you are not staying with them, but at least you have made the effort to visit.

I encourage you and your husband to do this life-changing course – The Rights of Parents. I pray that this course will inspire him to keep in touch with his parents.

Daughter

The best way of securing your daughter’s safety in this world and the next is sincere dua, alongside you and your husband taking the best means possible to secure her success in deen and dunya. Every day, read this dua from Surah Al-Furqan, Verse 75:

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

Outwardly, although it may look like a bad idea to expose her to non-practising family members, remember that all guidance comes from Allah. Grandparents love their grandchildren, and it is in their nature to indulge them. Set limits as best you can, but trust that you only visit them occasionally, and it is unlikely that your in-laws would go out of their way to harm your daughter.

Unfortunately, it is impossible for you to protect your daughter from all negative influences. What you can do is strive to instill Prophetic traits in her, so that she will learn how to respond in ways that please Allah. I encourage you and your husband to do this free course: Islamic Parenting: Raising Upright Children

Good character

Narrated Anas bin Malik (may Allah be pleased with him): The Prophet (upon him be blessings and peace) said, “Make things easy for the people, and do not make it difficult for them, and make them calm (with glad tidings) and do not repulse (them).” [Bukhari]

The difficulty you face with your in-laws is an incredible way to refine and improve your own character. By doing so, you are also teaching your daughter how to honour the elderly, and how to be patient with challenging family members.

Dua

When you feel like your pleas are falling deaf on creation, please know that the Creator never tires of hearing your voice. I encourage you to stand up and perform the Prayer of Need and ask for whatever will bring your heart relief. Channel your anxieties into heartfelt dua.

Support

Please look after yourself. Lean on your loved ones, practice self-compassion, and reflect on the trials of Prophet Yusuf (upon him be blessings and peace). He too was sorely tested by his family, and his story teaches us the importance of exercising beautiful patience.

I pray that Allah grants you a way out of your tribulation, and adorns you and your loved ones with the Prophetic qualities of patience, contentment, and mercy.

Please see:

Contented In-Laws
Raising Children with Deen and Dunya
Six Steps to Instilling the Attribute of Courage in Muslim Children – Ustadha Shireen Ahmed, SeekersGuidance Instructor
Selected Prophetic Prayers for Spiritual, Physical and Emotional Wellbeing by Chaplain Ibrahim Long

Wassalam,
[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers through Qibla Academy and SeekersHub Global. She also graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales.

Photo: Elisa Azzali

Are My Grandparents’ Siblings and My Father-In-Law’s Brothers From My Unmarriageable Kin (Mahram)?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam alaykum,

1. Are my grandparents siblings mahram to me?

2. Are my father-in-law’s brothers (uncles-in-law) mahram to me?

Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

A person is from your unmarriageable kin (mahram) when they are immediately related to you, (a) by blood (qaraba), (b) through marriage (sihriyya) or (c) through nursing (rada`a). For details, please see: Who is Mahram

1. Yes, your great-uncles, namely, your grandfather’s brothers, are from your unmarriageable kin (mahram).

2. No, your father-in-law’s brothers are not from your unmarriageable kin (mahram).

[Qadri Pasha, al-Ahkam al-Shar`iyya fi al-Ahwal al-Shakhsiyya (Article 22)]

And Allah Most High alone knows best.

wassalam,
Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Photo: Kevin Schoenmakers

Do I Have the Right to Demand From My Husband to Not Live With My In-Laws?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: I am pregnant, newly in hijab, live with my in-laws and am struggling with lack of privacy. I have my own room but have to share a bathroom and shower with my brother-in-law and his wife. What do I do?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. Congratulations on your pregnancy! May Allah reward you for enduring this difficult living arrangement. I pray that Allah eases your tribulation.

Privacy

Please read A Wife’s Right to Housing Seperate From Her In-Laws by Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari and share this article with your husband.

Even though it is your right to have separate quarters, you need to proceed wisely. The key here is balance, wisdom and discretion. Your husband sounds bound by cultural and family expectations. That being said, your well-being and your baby’s is extremely important.

Privacy

May Allah reward you for fulfilling the obligation of hijab. I am so sorry that you are struggling to even use the bathroom at night due to your brother-in-law’s presence. Is it possible for you to keep a long hijab and a wraparound shift near the door so that you can quickly cover yourself before going to the bathroom? It’s important for you to not stop yourself from using the bathroom because you need to keep healthy and well throughout your pregnancy. As difficult as things are right now, work on accepting that this is how it will be for now, and that all discomfort is temporary, inshaAllah.

Please encourage your husband to be supportive of your hijab. He needs to set clear boundaries with his brothers e.g. ask them to call before they arrive, or to knock and give you time to wear hijab. They need to learn the basic adab of entering the home of a Muslimah, like not looking into the house until he is given permission. Give yourselves time to adjust to this new state.

Mediation

Is there a local scholar you can consult, or a trusted community elder? Please have a mediated discussion about your living arrangement so that both you and your husband can calmly express your concerns. A culturally-sensitive relationship counsellor would also be an excellent option.

Think of more ways in which you can positively persuade your husband. Give yourselves a realistic timeline. Ask him if it’s possible to trial living on your own for a year, while maintaining ties with his family.

Dua

Please perform the Prayer of Need, ask Allah for an opening, and for the patience to endure until He changes things. Trust that Allah is able to do all things.

I encourage you to perform the Prayer of Guidance about moving out. If Allah makes it easy for you to move out (your husband’s heart softens) then that is a sign for you. If Allah blocks that path (your husband remains opposed to the idea), then that is a sign for you.

Baby

The arrival of a new baby is a shock to most first-time parents. Both of you will need as much help as you can get. Because of this, please do your best to keep on good terms with your in-laws. Reach out to your family for support too.

Be gentle with yourself, and with your husband. You are both about to embark on the most life-changing journey of your life, and need to be on the same page.

If it is any consolation, often the arrival of a newborn makes extended family dynamics much easier to deal with. New challenges present themselves, of course, but such is the nature of life in this dunya.

Perspective

When you are stuck in a problem that seemingly is caused by creation, take a step back and reflect on your Creator. Remind yourself that this dunya is not perfect, and not everything will be to our liking. These discomforts are a sign that this dunya is not our final home. These trials are also the best opportunity to exercise virtues such as gratitude, contentment, patience, and so forth. Reset your intention, every day, for Allah. Do this every morning before you even start your day.

I pray that this trial will help you beautify yourself with Prophetic virtues, and raise your rank in Jannah. May Allah bless you with an easy birth, speedy recovery, and a loving and righteous child.

Please see:
In-Laws Leaving Me No Privacy: What is the Proper Response?
Problems With In-Laws: Maintaining Distance & Advice on Mending Ties
Dealing With an Ill-Tempered Mother in Law
A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah

Wassalam,
Raidah

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Can In-Laws Force a Daughter-In-Law to Have a Child?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: In Islam, can in-laws pressure or force a daughter-in-law to have a child?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for clarifying this sensitive issue.

Force

No, in-laws cannot force a daughter-in-law to have a child. The issue of starting a family is a private matter between husband and wife.

However, it is only natural for aging in-laws to strongly desire grandchildren. As always, the key is balance.

Boundaries

It was narrated from Aishah that the Prophet (upon him be blessings and peace) said:
“Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness in all things.” [Sunan Ibn Majah]

My advice is to be gentle, and firm. When the topic of having children is forcefully raised, repeat the same thing. Come to a decision with your husband about what your response will be. You must both be on the same page. A possible response is, “May Allah reward you for your concern. Please make dua for us.”

Empathy

It was narrated from Ibn ‘Umar that the Messenger of Allah (upon him be blessings and peace) said: “The believer who mixes with people and bears their annoyance with patience will have a greater reward than the believer who does not mix with people and does not put up with their annoyance.” [Sunan Ibn Majah]

Try to exercise empathy. Gently ask your in-laws what their concerns are. Some in-laws have valid concerns about infertility if other family members have struggled with this issue. Others are afraid they will pass away before they have a grandchild. It’s easier for them to mask their vulnerability with an angry order to hurry up and have children. Try your best to reassure them. InshaAllah, you will be rewarded for having patience with them.

Please refer to the following links:

A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah
What Are Some Prophetic Supplications That Can Help Me Deal With Trials in My Life?

Wassalam,
Raidah

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

My Brother-In-Law Is Violent. Do I Have the Right to Move Out?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: I am extremely worried. I am married and live with my in-laws. However, my younger brother-in-law has a mental issue. He screams, swears and hits his family members. Now matters are getting worse. Can I move out with my husband?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. Dear sister, may Allah remove you from this harmful situation, grant you righteous offspring, and may He grant your brother-in-law complete healing.

Living arrangements

Even under normal circumstances, you have the right to move out and live in your own private quarters. I encourage you and your husband to read this excellent article, A Wife’s Right to Housing Separate From Her In-Laws, by Mufti Muhammad Ibn Adam Al-Kawthari.

Despite that, there can be very strong expectations for married children to live under one roof, especially in certain cultures. A wife can choose to forgo her Islamic right for the sake of maintaining harmony. Allah will reward her immensely for her patience and sacrifice. This is not an easy living arrangement, but the arrival of grandchildren often does smooth things over.

However, in your situation, your safety, your husband’s safety, and the safety of your future children is at stake. Your children are a trust given to you by Allah. Your current living situation is unsafe and unsuitable for raising a family.

Safety

The Messenger of Allah (upon him be blessings and peace) said: “Whoever persists in asking for forgiveness, Allah will grant him relief from every worry, and a way out from every hardship, and will grant him provision from (sources) he could never imagine.” [Ibn Majah]

Please perform the Prayer of Need in the last third of the night and ask Allah to help you out of this hardship. Guard your prayers, make regular istighfar, salawat upon the Prophet (upon him be blessings and peace) and give in charity.

I urge you and your husband to move out after having a frank discussion with the rest of his family. Try your best to explain things in a way which they can eventually accept. It is understandable for them to react negatively (denial, anger, shock etc), but continue to treat them with respect and kindness. Even after moving out, you and your husband must still visit and maintain family ties.

Help

Your brother-in-law needs professional help. Is there a family therapist/counsellor/psychologist he can see? I am aware of the deep stigma attached to mental illness, but this issue will not go away on its own. It sounds like all of your in-laws and your husband need some kind of family counselling to help them heal from being physically and emotionally abused.

There are many psychiatric and psychological support networks which your in-laws can tap into. Please start by speaking to your family doctor. Many people who suffer from these imbalances do get better through a combination of counselling, medication, diet and lifestyle changes, and spiritual exercises.

First things first. Speak to your in-laws, move out, heal, and be there to support them from a safe distance.

Please refer to the following links:
Reader on In-Laws
A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah
What Are Some Prophetic Supplications That Can Help Me Deal With Trials in My Life?

Wasalam,
Raidah

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

How to Handle Mean In-Laws?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question:Assalam ‘aleykum.

I have moved in with my husband and in-laws.

Since I moved in, my mother in law has been acting differently with me. She makes comments daily, usually saying that I can’t bring up my son properly.

My sister in law has periods where she won’t talk to me but I don’t know why.

I have asked to move out but have been told no. I feel as though I am sinking into depression and cannot see a way out.

Is there anything I can do?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray that this message finds you well, insha’Allah.

Continue praying the Prayer of Need (salat al-hajah) with sincerity and neediness, and give a little in charity whilst supplicating to Allah Most High that He relieve from your difficulty by His Grace. [see: Struggling to Have Children: Ten Key Etiquettes of Du’a]

Allah Most High says, “And whoever is mindful of Allah, He will grant them a way out, and will provide for them in ways unimagined. And whoever places their trust in Allah, then Allah is their sufficiency. Allah’s affair will surely come to pass–and Allah has made a clear decree for everything.” [65.2-3]

Strive to learn and have Godconsciousness (taqwa) in your life, and ensure that you are fulfilling all of your responsibilities as a wife and mother, for the sake of Allah Most High, in a way that will better the situation.

You may find the following titles useful: (1) Six in the Bed, by Nancy Wasserman Cocola, and (2) The Divorce Remedy, by Michele Weiner Davis. And perhaps: Contented In-Laws

Please also see: How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (salat al-haja)? and: How Do You Distinguish Between a Test From Allah and Punishment?

Consider taking the following free class at SeekersHub: Islamic Marriage: Guidance for Successful Marriage and Married Life

And Allah alone gives success.

Wassalam,

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani

In-Laws Leaving Me No Privacy: What is the Proper Response?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Question:Aslaamu’alaikum,
I have been happily married to my husband for 2 years now but the fact that we live next to my in-laws makes things really difficult. My brothers in law enter my house whenever they want leaving me no privacy and my mother in law is extremly cold towards me. I really don’t want to raise children living like this.
Please advise me on this situation…
Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray that this finds you well. May Allah grant you ease in this difficult situation.
Being on the same page
Your husband and yourself need to be on the same page on: 1) Your joint decision to stay or leave 2) How to treat your mother-in-law 3) What to do when issues arise.
Consider moving out
Explain to your husband, calmly and factually, about the difficulties you are having in your current living situation. It is praiseworthy of him to want to to care for his mother in her old age, but it is also important for him to consider your feelings. There is a reason why in Islamic law, married couples are encouraged to have their own private quarters.
Remember to broach this topic from the angle of compassion, and not accusation and judgement.
Whatever sacrifices you make for his sake and for his mother’s will not be wasted in the eyes of Allah. At the same time, do be realistic with yourself and your ability to cope. Do not merely endure this in silence and grow in grief and resentment.
Delaying children
It is actually wiser for you to delay having children with your current living condition. Pregnancy, childbirth and raising a child are all tremendous life changes, and it would be easier for you to cope if you have a stronger foundation.
Ask Allah for ease and have trust that He is looking after you.
Continue being kind
May Allah reward you for your gestures of kindness towards your mother-in-law, especially because she is not reciprocating. Continue these acts of gift-giving and kindness for Allah’s sake. Nothing is lost with Him. Many cultural norms are deeply unfair towards daughter-in-laws, so seek comfort in knowing that Allah answers the dua of the oppressed.
The Messenger of Allah (upon him be blessings and peace) said to Mua’ad Ibn Jabal (may Allah be pleased with him), “Beware of the supplication of the unjustly treated, because there is no shelter or veil between it (the supplication of the one who is suffering injustice) and Allah (SWT)” [Bukhari and Muslim]
Self-care
Please remember to look after yourself during this stressful time. Connect with your family and friends, seek counselling, eat well and exercise. Consider reading “The Happiness Trap” by Dr Russ Harris as a way to cope with what you cannot change, until Allah moves you out.
Duas in the last third of the night
Increase in dua, dhikr and prayer during the last third of the night. Draw closer to Allah in this time, and remember that He knows your deepest fears and hopes, and only He has the power to remove this trial from you. What is this dunya, after all, other than a temporary abode of tribulation?
Through being patient with your current hardship, I pray that you will attain the highest ranks in Jannah, your true home.
“And those who have believed and done righteous deeds – We will surely assign to them of Paradise [elevated] chambers beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally. Excellent is the reward of the [righteous] workers.” [Quran, 29:58]
Please see:
Wife’s right to housing separate from her in-laws
Dealing with an ill-tempered mother-in-law
Living with disrespectful and overbearing in-laws
Problem with in-laws: maintaining distance and advice on mending ties
wassalam,
Raidah
Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani

Dealing With Non-Muslim In-laws Who Dislike Muslims

Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari

Question: Assalamu alaykum,

My question is about marriage and how to deal with future in-laws who are not Muslim. If a woman wishes to marry a convert whose mother is not willing to meet her because she is Muslim and wears the hijab then should this affect her decision to go ahead with the marriage?

My parents are supportive of whatever decision I make but fear that if the guy’s mother is not willing to meet me before the wedding then there will be incredible tension and pain for me in my future relationship. 

Answer: Assalamu alaikum,

Dear Sister,

Thank you for your question.

Sadly, one of the most difficult (and hurtful) consequences of a cross-cultural marriage can be the rejection the young couple face from either one or both sides of their respective families.

My own mother dealt with this; my father’s parents refused to meet her and refused to meet their own grandchildren (my sister and me), and this situation lasted for decades.

It really hurt. Alhamdulillah, however, the human spirit is resilient and other family members saw the price of intolerance and did their best to make amends.

If you think you have the strength to weather the storms, don’t let your fiance’s mother stand in your way. It’s funny how people accuse Muslims of being intolerant but then turn around and manifest the exact same sins.

It’s possible God will soften her heart and she will come around, or she may never accept you. I hate to paint it in such stark terms, but it’s best to prepare yourself for chilly or non-existent family relations.

May Allah grant ease,

Zaynab Ansari