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I Struggle with Thoughts of Disbelief and Suicide

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil is asked about despair and contemplating suicide from being a lone Muslim.

I struggle with thoughts of disbelief and suicide. I have non-Muslim family members and feel so guilty when I spend time with them during Christmas and so on. I feel ashamed about telling them I am Muslim, because of ISIS.

I have so much uncontrolled anger because I am overwhelmed by my problems. Sometimes I wish I was not brought into existence. I wish for new type of prayer because I’ve been humiliated badly in grade 7, and whenever I want to pray, my mind starts to flashback and then I start to feel shy, embarrassed and then I stop praying,

Can I meet the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and ask him to reverse time? I have so many regrets. My grandfather died a Christian and I am so sad.

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us. Please forgive me for the delay.

Suicidal Thoughts

Dear questioner, you sound like you are in a tremendous amount of pain.

Do you have a plan to end your life? If so, I urge you to please seek professional help. At a very minimum, please contact a suicide or mental health hotline in your locality. You need to speak to someone compassionate, to help you break the cycle of despair in your mind.

Thoughts of Disbelief

It may be useful for you to seek out culturally-sensitive counseling to help you manage and eventually overcome these thoughts which plague you.

Please continue a daily litany of repentance and other duas to help protect you from these thoughts: Selected Prophetic Prayers for Spiritual, Physical and Emotional Wellbeing by Chaplain Ibrahim Long.

Please refer to these links to help start your journey towards healing:

Getting Therapy for Irreligious Thoughts
Having Seriously Evil Thoughts
Types of Thought, Blasphemy, and Sin

Uncontrolled Anger

Please read this resource about the Anger Iceberg. You are lugging around so much unresolved pain, which contributes to you feeling so triggered, so often. When you start to release that pain, then will slowly feel less angry.

I encourage you to try some calming meditations, specifically, Islamic Meditations by Shaykh Muhammad Mendes.

Prayer

I am so sorry that you were so shamed for praying in public while you were in Grade 7. May Allah help you heal from this, and increase you in reward for your struggles.

There is no way for prayer to be changed, but perhaps there are ways you can find a private, secure place to pray. Could you speak to your school counsellor about what happened, and ask him/her to facilitate a safe place for you to pray?

Past Trauma

I urge you to contact Sidi Zuhair Girash of Aafiyah Healing. He is a compassionate and wise Muslim holistic healer who can help you, insha Allah. He can help you loosen the grip of your past trauma, and help you live more easily in the present moment.

It sounds like beneath your anger lies deep feelings of shame, powerlessness and sadness. There are ways to overcome this, with the right help.

Reversal of Time

Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds, for those, Allah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Sura al-Furqan, 25:70)

A wise high school teacher told me once that instead of a “rewind” button for life, Allah gave us something better – He gives us the gift of repentance. Please know that Allah can transform all of your bad deeds into good deeds.

No matter what happened in your past, know that Allah’s Mercy is greater than that. He loves you, even with all of your imperfections.

Non-Muslim Family Members in Hellfire

Only Allah knows where any of us end up in the Afterlife. Because you are already in a troubled mental state, I urge you not to dwell on the fate of your grandfather.

Trust in the Mercy of your Creator. It is not difficult for Allah to have created belief in your grandfather’s heart, before he passed away, for example.

Please seek comfort from this: How to Deal With a Non-Muslim Relative’s Death.

Christmas and Other Festivals

Please know that because you have non-Muslim family members, then it is very important for you to be part of their lives, and attend their festivals. Please attend the social aspects of these gatherings and avoid the religious components, as best as you can.

Please seek comfort from these answers Is Christmas Haram? Being Muslim in a Non-Muslim Family and Partaking in a Thanksgiving Dinner: Permitted or Not?

Meeting The Prophet, Peace and Blessings be upon Him

Narrated Anas, may Allah be pleased with him: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever has seen me in a dream, then no doubt, he has seen me, for Satan cannot imitate my shape.’ (Bukhari)

One interpretation of this is that one will see him in this life in one’s waking state. (Fath al-Bari)

I pray that you do see the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, in a dream. Know that his heart is connected to yours, he feels your deepest acutely, and he is making dua for you. I encourage you to be open to the winds of mercy from God, even if they do not fit your current rigid concept. Rigidity comes from fear and pain – you have endured a huge amount of suffering. Flexibility and openness comes from surrender.

I pray that Allah eases your terrible burden of pain. Please know that you will will feel better, some day soon. It will not always hurt this much. Please choose to keep alive, so that one day, you will look back at your younger self with compassion and love.

You may not believe me right now, but because you have endured so much, you will be able to offer so much comfort to other broken-hearted souls.

Please write back if you need any more help.

Please also see A Reader on the Problem of Evil, Suffering, Destiny, and Allah’s Mercy and A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah.

Raidah

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.

My Son Is Suicidal. What Can I Do?

Answered by Ustadh Amjad Tarsin

Question: Assalam alaykum

My son is suicidal and I have already reached out to the medical and mental health community; but it does not help. Things became worse after some events took place that made him lose faith in humanity. It was after these things he said he no longer believed in God. How do I help him and how do I not get pulled down by his negativity?

Answer: Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Firstly thank you for reaching out and I empathize with the challenges you and your son have faced. May Allah grant you both ease, gentleness, and encompassing well-being.

How were mental health professionals not helping? Are there other resources you can access? If you ever need someone to talk to, I would recommend calling the Naseeha toll free Helpline at 1866 627 3342. They have counselors and volunteers who can listen to you or your son if you’re ever in need.

Although your love for your son will always keep you concerned over his well-being and faith, once a child becomes an adult, they are accountable for their own decisions. Allah the Exalted informs us in the Quran of Prophets and Messengers whose own family members were disbelievers. They tried their best, but then they were free to make their own choices. So you can continue to show your son love and support and use whatever resources are available to help him move past this difficult stage he’s going through.

One of the greatest resources available to you is dua. Allah the Exalted says, “Who [other than Allah] answers the distressed when they call upon Him? Who [other than Him] removes their suffering?” (Quran 27.62) and, “Your Lord says, ‘Call on Me and I will answer you.’” (Quran 40.60). I would especially recommend praying Salat ul-Haja which can be found here.

It is at times when everything else does not seem to work that our hearts are humbled before Allah and we recognize our utter need of Him. Pray for your son and ask Allah to give him good health emotionally and spiritually.

It is very saddening to hear of the negative the treatment you and your son experienced. Unfortunately, this is what happens when people of little knowledge try to assert religion and often veer towards extremes at either end. Allah informs us in the Quran that He sent the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) as, “A mercy to the worlds.” (Quran 21.107). May Allah reward you for your sincere intention and returning to Islam and seeking its true manifestation.

If you testify that there is no god but Allah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah then you are a Muslim. It’s that simple. And always remember that the door of repentance and return to Allah is always open as long as we have life.

May Allah grant you ease in all your affairs and heal the pain in your son’s heart and bring him back to Him with gentleness, ease, and mercy.

[Ustadh] Amjad Tarsin

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Amjad Tarsin was born in Ann Arbor, Michigan and spent his early childhood there. He has also lived in Malaysia and Saudi Arabia, growing up within diverse cultures. He obtained his Bachelors of Arts at the University of Michigan in English Literature and Islamic Studies.
After spending a transformative year studying Islam abroad at Dar al-Mustafa, Yemen, Ustadh Amjad returned to America to start his studies at University of Michigan Law School. Yearning to fulfill his calling to community building, spiritual development, and service, Ustadh Amjad changed career paths and enrolled in Hartford Seminary’s Islamic Chaplaincy program. In 2012 he was selected as University of Toronto’s first full-time Muslim Chaplain.

My Suicidal Thoughts Are Coming Back and I Have No One to Trust. What Should I Do?

Answered by Ustadh Salman Younas

Question: I had to endure a very difficult life. I ended up with severe mental problems. I sought help and after several years of treatment I felt better.

I am now in the military and I can feel my suicidal tendencies coming back strong. I can’t trust any of my fellow soldiers because they will abuse my trust.

What should I do?

Answer: assalamu alaykum

I would strongly advise you to seek professional help regarding your situation and talk to someone you trust for further advice.

You mentioned in your question that you had previously received treatment for your issues and saw improvement. You should return to this as soon as possible.

If your fellow soldiers are unable to provide the needed assistance, seek out someone who will, such as a private doctor or someone outside of the army. The important thing is to find people who you can lean on to get better.

In regards to religious practice, you should try your utmost to engage in prayer, supplication, reading the Qur’an, and connecting with good people around you, such as your family and friends.

These are all means by which the heart finds rest and ease. Use these practices to distract yourself from the troubles around you; don’t spend your day and night thinking about your work and the distress you feel as this will only worsen the situation.

It may well be that you need to change aspects of your life in order to cope with these thoughts.

Your life is more valuable than a job or an occupation. As Muslims, we are taught that the lives of ourselves and others are inviolable and anything that seeks to challenge this has to be challenged in the appropriate manner.

Hopefully, by seeking professional help, leaning on the support of those around you, and turning to God, you will be able to overcome the problems you mention.

With prayers,
Salman

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ridding Oneself of Depression and Suicidal Thoughts

Answered by Ustadh Abdullah Anik Misra

Question: As’Salamu Alaykum,

I have a problem with myself in that I keep having these images of harming myself somehow or committing suicide and I don’t know what to do. I’m at a difficult stage in my life right now. I have very bad family issues, financial problems and problems with myself in terms of my heart. I just feel like ending my life so I can escape all of my problems. The last few years have been very hard for me in that I’ve been unemployed for a while and I have mounting debts that I can’t pay off and other issues. Counselling hasn’t helped.  I’ve turned to Allah and prayed long and hard but then suddenly I’ll become lax in my prayers etc. I feel like I’m being pushed away from worshipping Allah. I have started doing some SG courses and they help but I still find myself weak and vulnerable. And lately the suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming myself have started terrifying me. It’s like I don’t have the guts to hurt myself but at the same time I dont know what I’m capable of doing.

Please help me before I end up hurting myself.

Answer:  In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate,

Wa alaikum as salam,

Dear brother in Islam: you possess the most valuable thing that any person could wish for: iman, or true faith in Allah Most High.

Remember that mankind’s sworn enemy, Shaytan, is insanely jealous of how much mercy Allah Most High envelopes you in at each moment, and how much Allah loves you. Even in your lowest, most sinful, most problem-ridden, most heedless, depressed state, you mean so much to Allah.

This is why Shaytan will do everything in his power to drive you out of true faith: so that you end up damned like him. Shaytan is an evil whisperer; his way of misleading you is to whisper doubts into your heart: doubts about the things around you, about your faith and your sanity, and ultimately, about Islam and Allah Himself.

Horrible Thoughts Are Whispers from the Shaytan into the Heart of the Believer

The thoughts and images you are seeing start from satanic whisperings (waswasa). You have become tricked into adopting them and believing that they are your own thoughts. You might feel disgusted, shocked and scared. But the thoughts are not really yours; you don’t really want to hurt yourself. They are devilish illusions, that while painful, cannot truly hurt you, or cause you to hurt yourself, unless you allow them to become a part of you.

Passing bad thoughts are normal for a Muslim, but they must be disregarded quickly and shunned. Once, the Companions confessed to the Prophet [peace and blessings be upon him]: “Indeed, we are finding thoughts within ourselves that any of us would find abominable to mention!” So the Prophet asked, “Do you really find that within yourselves?” They replied, “Yes.” So the Prophet said: “That is a clear sign of faith.” [Muslim]

Ridding Oneself of Bad Thoughts

The thoughts may be difficult to erase once the mind has adopted the whisperings. Firstly, at the onset of any of these images or doubts, I would advise that you immediately declare in your heart – with authority and certainty- that these are not your thoughts, and tell the Shaytan you are not about to fall for his tricks. Tell him your Lord is Allah, and that you are so grateful for that, and that you are not scared of him and his whisperings, as you have the greatest Protector watching over you.

Then, flee to Allah Ta’ala in your heart, and seek refuge in Him from the Shaytan with full sincerity, consciousness, and in utter neediness. Recite the final surah of the Qur’an with presence of heart, while knowing the meaning of its verses [Surah 114: al-Nas].

Admit to Allah Ta’ala that He is your only Lord; your only hope; your rock and your only refuge. Tell Allah that no matter what the thoughts say or provoke, you only want to stand by Him and worship Him. Confess your sins to Him, and repent for them. Then, ask Him to protect you and rid you of those thoughts forever. Completely consign the problem and solution to Him.

Shun Bad Influences, Live a Pure Life, And Trust in Allah

Once you’ve done that, do your best to rejoice and feel thankful for your faith- Shaytan hates to see that and is driven away by a believer rejoicing in his Lord. Shun and avoid negative, sinful influences in your life that enter your heart through your eyes and ears: violence, sexuality and pornography, or other vices.

Cut the mental noise out of your life: stop reading useless blogs and articles, watching TV or ads, or surfing the net. Seek out the company of good people, in good places like the mosque or a study circle.

Repent from your sins regularly, maintain a state of ritual purity as much as possible, eat lawful food only, be consistent in your daily prayers, recite some Quran each morning and evening, and try to keep in the remembrance of Allah through dhikr. Don’t go into hyper-mode praying, as that won’t solve your problem; this is Shaytan’s trick to exhaust you till you quit. Rather, stay balanced and moderate, but keep your heart focused on loving Allah as much as possible. Love of Allah is everything.

The Importance of Seeking Both Professional and Spiritual Help

Lastly, I would advise you to continue to seek counseling for this issue, as we are commanded to use the best means at our disposal, while turning to Allah in prayer and supplication, knowing that the results are in Allah’s hands. Only He creates happiness in the heart. Do not see the challenges in your life as insurmountable; you still have many blessings, so take things a day at a time, seeking Allah’s help.

Everything I’ve advised you is what I have gleaned from my spiritual guide; may Allah forgive my shortcomings and mistakes. It is best for you to consult a qualified spiritual guide and master of Islamic spirituality yourself when you can. May Allah Most High bless you, relieve you of your troubles, protect us all, and make us all into His righteous and beloved servants, Ameen.

Wassalam,

Abdullah Anik Misra

Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani

Doubts, Difficulties, and Suicidal Thoughts

Answered by Sidi Wasim Shiliwala

Question: as salamu alaykum

Recently my iman has been very low. The only thing that prevents me from killing myself is the knowledge I have about suicide in the Islamic perspective. It seems unfair, I didn’t choose to exist.

 

I have made dua to Allah so many times to give me my iman back, but none of my prayers are answered. And, yes, I know that maybe they will be answered with something better in the akhira, but I can’t use that, because if I die as a non-believer I know where I’m going!

 

The reason why my Iman is so weak is also because I have read many things that is against religion and the existence of God. I would be very glad to hear someone destroy the theory of evolution for instance. I really need help. I don’t see any reasons to live if Islam isn’t the truth. It is so difficult. My mind is filled with so many doubts. Many questions pops up in my mind, such as:

– What have I done to deserve iman? What about all the other billions of people out there? Why are my prayers never answered?

It is not the existence of a God that is most difficult to believe in, but in my mind Islam has to be perfect if God really exists. And I don’t see Islam as perfect. Every time I read translations of the Quran my iman decreases because I don’t see anything special in what I’m reading. I love to recite it in Arabic though. And inside the folds of Islam I have not been able to determine which path is the right one. Sometimes salafis appear to be right, and sometimes non-Salafis appear be right.

I have read all your other answers on how to increase your iman, but it doesn’t help me at all. I have prayed 5 times a day and fasted during ramadan since I was a kid, I know a lot of Quran, and I am well educated in the religion.  I have always loved going to the masjid as well.

 

I think the fact that I’m pretty intelligent contributes to my doubts. I know I’m not using my intellect the right way. I really want to die as a Muslim.

 

Please help, I really need advice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Answer: Walaikum As-salaam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

Jazakum Allahu Khairan for all of your questions. I pray that Allah removes this trial for you, increases your faith, and enters you into His garden. Your question reflects a deep sincerity and longing for God, which is very important.

You have posed many questions, and I am sure that you have many more. I will try to answer what I can as best as I can, but I want to emphasize 3 points of advice at the beginning:

1. Seek the help of a counselor or mental health professional who can help you deal with depression.

 

2. Purify your intention and continue a deep pursuit of knowledge to decrease doubts and increase faith.

 

3. Focus on your relationship with Allah, and don’t get distracted by other thoughts.

I will now attempt to address your questions point by point insha’Allah:

Dealing with Depression

“In many weeks my faith in Allah has been very weak. And the last couple of days has been the most difficult days in my entire life… and when I’m alone I often cry.”

Depression is a very serious affliction that can’t be dealt with in isolation. While this answer will address some of your doubts, your suicidal thoughts indicate a deeper problem that cannot be solved over the internet. Therefore, I strongly encourage you to seek the help of a qualified counselor.

Seeking proper help is of utmost importance, and Allah commands us in the Qur’an to seek qualified advice if we are unsure about something (16:43). Similarly, a hadith relates that when two of the companions gave bad advice to an injured man that resulted in his death, the Prophet (peace be upon him) proclaimed, “Do you not ask if you do not know?” [Abu Dawud]

Alhamdulillah, contacting us at SeekersGuidance is an important first step in the process of seeking help. We can provide some general religious guidance, but I strongly recommend that you find a professional counselor – perhaps one at your school – who can help you deal with your depression.

You can find some general guidance about dealing with difficulties in the following answers:

Advice to a Young Man with OCD and Struggling with Pornography and Other Major Sins

Advice to a Young Cancer Patient

Family Problems: Maintaining Conviction in Allah During Difficulty & Tribulation

Fighting Depression Through The Remembrance Of Allah

Patience and Dua

“I have made dua to Allah so many times… but it doesn’t work.”

As created beings, our limited understanding of reality often prevents us from seeing how and when our duas are answered. Still, we must have certainty that Allah will answer our supplications, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said “Make Dua and be assured of it being answered” (Sunan at-Tirmidhi). This is an essential part of the etiquette of dua, which is explained in the following answer:

Struggling to Have Children: Ten Key Etiquettes of Du’a

Another deficiency we have as human beings is that we do not always know what is best for us at any given time. Allah tells us in the Qur’an: “Perhaps you may hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you may love a thing and it is bad for you. Allah knows, while you know not.” (2:216)

This applies to our supplications as well. We might ask for something and desire it to come immediately, but it is often better for us that it either not be fulfilled in the exact manner or time-frame we wish. In this case, it is from Allah’s mercy and wisdom that He provides us with what we need, not what we desire. Allah knows what is best for us more than we do, so part of our spiritual struggle (mujahada) is to be content and patient with His will.

So rest assured that your du’as are indeed working, but that they’re being answered in the way that’s most beneficial for you and your spiritual development. Perhaps – and Allah knows best – Allah is answering your dua by pushing you to seek help and knowledge, after which you will increase in health, faith, and certainty.

Above all, Allah has promised that He will answer those who call upon Him (2:186), so never think that your du’as are not being heard.

Sacred Knowledge is the Key to Certainty

“The reason why my Iman is so weak is also because… I don’t see Islam as perfect.”

Sadly, this is a reality for many Muslims today. The only way for them to remove such doubts is to actually study their religion in a proper manner, which is why the Prophet said that “seeking knowledge is an obligation upon every Muslim.” [Sunan ibn Majah]

Generally speaking, I advise that you invest a lot of your time in studying this beautiful and deep tradition. Take courses here at SeekersGuidance: listen to the lectures, take copious amounts of notes, and ask a lot of questions. Since you know some Qur’an and fiqh, focus on classes related to belief and spirituality, and start learning Arabic (I’ll explain why soon).

Also, I recommend that you stop reading anti-Islamic materials because they can have a poisonous effect on one’s psyche. The authors of such materials know little about Islam, or religion for that matter. They bury their ignorance in spurious arguments, baseless generalizations, and outright attacks. Ignore these materials and focus on learning more about the deep and complex world of traditional Islamic thought.

As for your specific questions, they can only be answered by taking courses and reading books. I will try to offer some recommendations here:

1. Islam and Science – In reality, science and religion are not at odds with each other: science explains the “how” of the world while religion explains the “why.” Even if all of the current scientific theories about the universe are true, they will only help us understand those laws that Allah set in place to govern His universe.

That said, some works provide noteworthy objections to the theory of evolution, such as Darwin’s Black Box. The following article also provides an intelligent critique of the theory from an Islamic perspective:

Islam and Evolution

I want to stress that Islam is not opposed to scientific progress; to the contrary, Muslims have been at the forefront of scientific research for many centuries. Rather, Muslims object to the manner in which some scientists try to use their data to make absurdly grand claims about the existence of God, the nature of reality, and the value of religion.

If you are interested in these discussions, I recommend you read the works of Seyyed Hossein Nasr related to Islam, science, and modernity, as well as Professor William Chittick’s Science of the Cosmos, Cosmos of the Soul.

2. Islam and the Salvation of Others – While we do not know the final outcome of ourselves or of those around us, we should trust Allah when He says that He is al-Rahman (the all-merciful), al-Raheem (the oft-merciful), al-Ghafur (the oft-forgiving), and many other names that emphasize His mercy over His creation.

In our times, most people are not Muslim, but that does not mean that they are all destined for the fire. Allah says in the Qur’an, “And We do not punish [a people] until We have sent [them] a messenger” (17:15). Based on this and other evidences, most Sunni theologians maintain that people who do not receive the message of Islam will not be held accountable for their disbelief. [Bajuri, Tuhfat al-Murid]

Furthermore, the great Muslim scholar Imam al-Ghazali argues that even those who receive a distorted message of Islam will not be held accountable, since they were not presented with a true and accurate depiction of the religion. [al-Ghazali, Faysal al-Tafriqa] In the end, our concern is not to judge the fate of others, but only to practice the faith and present it to others in the most merciful and beautiful manner possible.

3. The miracle of the Qur’an – There are numerous reasons as to why the Qur’an is miraculous (see below), and translations of the Qur’an rarely capture the true beauty of this noble and generous text. I therefore urge you to study tafsir (commentary) and learn Arabic.

The best English commentary you can find is Mufti Taqi Usmani’s translation of Ma’ariful Qur’an. Of course, English commentaries only offer a glimpse at the Qur’an’s depth and beauty. To truly appreciate the extraordinary nature of the Qur’an, you must learn the Arabic language.

In addition to the Qur’an, the Prophet (peace be upon him) is himself a tremendous proof of this religion, so I urge you to read works that detail his biography and character. The following answers outline some proofs regarding the veracity of the Qur’an and the Prophet (peace be upon him):

The Truth of Islam, the Qur’an, & the Prophet Muhammad (Peace and Blessings Be Upon Him)

How Do We Know That the Qur’an Is Inimitable and Thus From Allah?

4. Navigating scholars and sects – Islam is a diverse tradition with many differences of opinion, but there is much agreement on its core teachings: the five pillars of Islam, the six articles of faith, the necessity of following the Qur’an, sunnah, and qualified scholars, the importance of avoiding the haram and sticking to with the halal, and the goal of achieving Allah’s pleasure, which results in greater spirituality in this world and entrance into Paradise in the next. While important and controversial differences of opinion do exist, we must recognize that the scholars involved are sincere in their efforts and diligent in their studies.

Most importantly, remember that above all else, we are all Muslims. Despite all of our differences, we are a community united around the testimony that there is no god except Allah and that Muhammad is His messenger. You should not feel pressured to choose sides, as we are all striving for the same goals. That said, I highly encourage you to continue benefiting from SeekersGuidance, which has teachers from a variety of schools of thought, all of whom are qualified, accessible, and willing to answer your questions.

5. Study with teachers – regardless of how you continue your pursuit of knowledge, make sure you do so with qualified teachers who can answer your questions and guide you along your path. You, like many Muslims, have thousands of questions, and, insha’Allah, you will find answers to all of them throughout the course of your studies. However, the path of seeking knowledge and purifying one’s heart is not easy; it requires much patience, diligence, and deep reflection.

Insha’Allah, I pray that these few words have helped settle your heart and increase your resolve to reconnect with Allah. But I want to reiterate the importance of seeking help for your difficulties regarding depression and suicidal thoughts. This is a very serious matter, and I pray that Allah makes it easy for you and makes it a means by which you enter into His eternal mercy.

Baarak Allahu Fikum,
-Wasim

Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani