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What Is Considered Slander?

Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Weltch

Question: What is considered slander?

Answer: In the Name of Allah, The Most Merciful and Compassionate

Slander is to mention something false about someone and is strictly prohibited.

Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Do you know what backbiting is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He said, “To mention your brother in a way that he dislikes.” It was said, “What if what I said about my brother is true?” He said, “If he is as you’ve said, then you have backbitten him. If it is not true what you said, you have slandered him.” [Muslim]

Argumentation

Even though what you said is not slander, it is best to leave argumentation. The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Whoever leaves dispute, while they are incorrect, a house will be built for them in the outskirts of Paradise. And whoever abandons it, while they are correct, a house will be built for them in the center of Paradise, and whoever’s character is made beautiful, one will be built for them in the highest part (of Paradise). [Tirmidhi]

May Allah bless us all with beautiful character

Allahu A’alam

[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Yusuf Weltch is a graduate from Tarim; student of Habib Umar and other luminaries; and authorized teachers of Qur’an and the Islamic sciences.

Is It Permissible to Sit at a Table or in a Restaurant Where Alcohol Is Served and Consumed?

Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Weltch

Question: Is it permissible to sit at a table or in a restaurant where alcohol is served and consumed? Also, how do we apply this ruling in the context of western countries?

Answer: It is sinful to accompany people of open sin and transgression unless one intends to prevent them or reproach them in that sin. [Hashiyah Ibn Abidin]

The Western Context

In the western context, though many things that the Muslims do not partake in are common, we find that there are many alternatives. It is not farfetched to meet friends and colleagues at a coffee shop or a restaurant that does not serve alcohol.

One must use wisdom in these matters. For example, being the first to suggest the meeting place or if necessary by excusing one’s self in a very tactful manner. If one is frank and straightforward, with a respectable and dignified approach, it is usually taken well and with respect. For example, “Sorry, but as a Muslim, I would prefer we go somewhere where alcohol is not served.”

May Allah bless you

Allahu A’alam

[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch

Modes Of Reciting The Holy Qur’an

Answered by Ustadh Farid Dingle

Question: Salams, How it is possible that some traditional scholars have criticized some mass-narrated modes of reciting the Qur’an [qiraat mutawatira]?

Answer: Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Dear questioner,

Not everything that is mass-narrated [mutawatir] was necessarily known to all scholars at all stages of the Islamic tradition. A hadith or mode of recital [qiraa] can be mass-narrated from the Prophet (Allah bless him and give peace), and yet take time to reach every member of Ummah.

This was the case with certain modes of the recital. After they became well known, everyone accepted them. Before that, some scholars of the Arabic language or of other disciplines criticized certain pronunciations that seemed wrong to them.

This is the case with Imam Ahmad and the mode of the recital of Hamza al Zayyat.

What is the Basis for the Ten Modes of Recitation of the Qur’an?

The Cementing of Ideas

Before Ibn Mujahid

Although the Quran was recited in all corners of the Muslim World from the very beginning of the spread of Islam, the codifying of the modes of recital did not happen immediately. Indeed, it was not until the work of Quran specialist Ibn Mujahid (d. 324 AH), and the further work of his student Ibn Khalawayhi and then Ibn al Jazari (d. 833 AH) that the various modes of recital were completely codified, recorded, and distinguished from other modes of recital.

Before this time, and indeed as part of the very process of excluding incorrect modes of recital, criticisms were launched against certain modes of recital. Modes of recital that were later identified as non-mass narrated, and therefore incorrect, were frequently quoted alongside those which were mass-narrated, without any mention of which ones were “valid” or not. This is very clear in books of tafsir from, say, before 700 AH.

For example, the great early grammarian Akhfash (d. 215 AH) cites the non-mass-narrated, invalid recital ‘malika yawmi al din’ alongside the mass-narrated, valid mode ‘maliki yawmi al din’ with which we are all familiar in Sura al Fatiha. [Maani al Qur’an, Akhfash] He does not distinguish the mass-narrated, valid mode from the non-mass-narrated, invalid mode. This just goes to show that before Ibn Mujahid, this clarity was just not there.

At the same time, in the same sura he only mentions two ways of pronouncing the word ‘sirat’: with Seen or with a Sad. [Maani al Qur’an, Akhfash] The fact that he doesn’t mention the third mass-narrated pronunciation, namely reciting with a heavy Zed [al Sad al mushamma Zayan], tells that he was simply not aware of it.

All of this reiterates the fact that not all scholars were aware of all of the various ways of reciting the Quran, even if they were genuine scholars, and even it such modes of recital were indeed mass-narrated.

After Ibn Mujahid

Sometimes even after the work of Ibn Mujahid, criticisms still made due to the lack a universal recognition of authority and finality of his work.

By way of example, the great Qur’an exegete Zamakhshari (d. 538 AH) criticized a mass-narrated mode of recital ascribed to Abu Jafar [Yazid bin Qa’qaa’], of the imams of Qur’anic recitation.

According to this mode, the words in verse 34 of Baqarah ‘And when We told the angels: Prostrate …’ is pronounced ‘lil malaikatus judu’ (with a damma on the ta marbuta).

Concerning this, Zamakhshari says, ‘Abu Jafar [Yazid bin Qa’qaa’] recited it lil malaikatus judu with a damma on the ta in keeping [with the damma in usjudu], but you cannot just displace the signs of inflection for the sake of keeping the same sound except in a very weak dialect of Arabic. It is like those who say Al hamdi lillahi.’ [al Kashaf, Zamakhshari]

Zamakhshari says that this is weak Arabic and not valid, even though the mode of recital ascribed to Abu Jafar mass-narrated.

Why did he do this? Because the authority of the work of Ibn Mujahid was still not yet fully accepted by all Muslim scholars, even two hundred years or so later. This kind of thinking would be expected by a fortiori from those well before Ibn Mujahid, such as Imam Ahmad.

Hamza al Zayyat’s mode of recital

So what was wrong with his Hamza al Zayyat’s mode of the recital?

If you have a careful listen to his mode of recital (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sngQiOXMaWs), you might notice some oddities. Certain vowels are recited in a very acute fashion, there are some pauses, and merging of certain similar, but not identical letters. All of these would seem odd to the average listener.

In reality, the student of Arabic and of the Quran knows very well that there many different ways of pronouncing Arabic words, or of certain words in series. Many of these phonological possibilities are spread out among the various canonical modes of reciting the Qur’an. Hence, there is nothing actually “odd” about any of these sounds that we hear.

Regarding scholarly criticism of Hamza al Zayyat’s mode of the recital, Ibn Mujahid mentions the reason why some scholars did not like his mode of the recital.

One of Hamza’s students once attended a lesson of Abdullah ibn Idris (a reciter of the Qur’an and hadith narrator, d. 192 AH) and recited some verses with extremely long vowels and various other somewhat artificial characteristics. At this, Abdullah ibn Idris expressed his dislike of the recital and criticized it. [Kitab al Saba fi al Qiraat, Ibn Mujahid]

Imam al Dhahabi narrates in his short biography of Abdullah Ibn Idris that he actually directly rebuked Hamza al Zayyat. He said to him, ‘Fear Allah! You are a man who is trying to play God! This recitation is neither the recitation of Abdullah [Ibn Masud] nor of anyone else!’ He added later, ‘I do not hold it permissible for anyone to say that Hamza is on the Sunna.’ [Siyar Alam al Nubala, Dhahabi]

So it is clear that Ibn Idris, and probably Imam Ahmad following suit, felt that his model of the recital was not based on learning [talaqqi] but rather based on his own made-up style, a style that seemed very artificial.

However, Ibn Mujahid mentions that the scholars said that such artificial elongation was actually also disliked by Hamza al Zayyat himself, and not recited thus by his skilled students. [Kitab al Saba fi al Qiraat, Ibn Mujahid]

Commenting on this event, Dhahabi says, ‘Thus did Ibn Idris’ denunciation [of Hamza] spread. May Allah forgive him [Ibn Idris]: Muslims have wholeheartedly accepted every letter [of his mode of recital], and today there is consensus on it.’ [Siyar Alam al Nubala, Dhahabi]

Here Dhahabi clarifies that these objections, although sincere, were actually out of place and that as a mass-narrated mode of the recital, we all accept it as Qur’an.

Imam Ahmad’s View of Hamza al Zayyat

Imam Ahmad disliked the modes of recital [qiraah] of Hamza al Zayyat and that of his student Kisai, and he also disliked the idgham kabir [merging of two similar letters even if the first is not silent] of the Quran reciter Abu Amr. [Sharh Muntaha al Iradat, Bahuti]

That said, it is actually valid in Hanbali school to recite even a non-mass narrated mode of recital [qiraa shadha] as long as the chain for it is sound and it conforms to the Uthmanic mushaf. [Sharh Muntaha al Iradat, Bahuti] This is most definitely found in these aforementioned modes of the recital.

This tells us that one can actually recite these modes of the recital in the Hanbali school, as we shall explain later.

The View of Others

One of the many illustrious students of Hamza al Zayyat was the famous Sufyan al Thawri. He was once sitting in his circle of students, and Hamza came and then left. He said of him, ‘Do you see this man? He never recited a single letter of the Qur’an save that it was based on precedent [athar].’ [Kitab al Saba fi al Qiraat, Ibn Mujahid]

Clearly, his student (Thawri) knew that there was nothing “creative” about his mode of recital but it was all taken from his teachers, and from them back to the Followers and Prophetic Companions.

Ibn Mujahid also quotes the position of Ibn Dawud [hadith narrator, d. 213] regarding Hamza al Zayyat. He said, ‘Have you heard what the scholars of Basra say? Who is there that has more knowledge than Hamza of how it [the Qur’an] is recited and the subtleties thereof?’ [Kitab al Saba fi al Qiraat, Ibn Mujahid]

It is evident that Ibn Dawud, and in fact the scholars of Basra, held Hamza and his mode of the recital in high esteem.

And it is sufficient enough that Kisai, the actual founder of the Kufan school of Arabic grammar, was his student and narrator of his mode of the recital. If there was anything odd or linguistically invalid about it, Kisai would definitely be the first one to point it out.

You can hear a sample of Kisai’s recension from Hamza here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7aAit-6i20

Conclusion

Imam Ahmad, exercising his brilliant and valid Islamic scholarship in a period before the Ten Modes of Recital were properly known and codified, like many other scholars, criticized Hamza al Zayyat because of what was ascribed to him of his apparent unorthodox way of reciting the Quran.

After it became clear to the whole Umma that his recital was perfectly fine, and that it was mass-narrated and based on the recitals of the Early Muslims, the objection leveled no longer bore any weight.

I pray this helps.

[Ustadh] Farid Dingle

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Farid Dingle has completed extensive years of study in the sciences of the Arabic language and the various Islamic Sciences. During his studies, he also earned a CIFE Certificate in Islamic Finance. Over the years he has developed a masterful ability to craft lessons that help non-Arabic speakers gain a deep understanding of the language. He currently teaches courses in the Arabic Language.

Supplication For Getting Married

Answered by Ustadh Salman Younas

Question: I had a relation for 2 months with a boy but we broke up because we are from different states and our parents won’t allow us to get married. Is there any supplication I can do to get him as my husband in the future with our parent’s acceptance?

Answer: assalamu alaykum

You should note at the outset that having such a relationship before marriage is not sanctioned in Islam. While it is good to see you are thinking about marriage and validating your relationship in the eyes of the shariah, if you have engaged in any past behaviors that the shariah deems impermissible, you should seek God’s forgiveness for it as should the other party.

In this way, you can proceed with marriage in the correct way and with the blessings of God. You should know that the doors of His mercy are always open: “Do not despair of the mercy of God. Surely, God forgives all sins. Indeed, He is the Most Forgiving, the Merciful’ (39:53).”

Regarding a supplication, you can use any words you like. There are other general supplications you should recite as well, which include:

“Our Lord! Grant unto us spouses and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous.” (25:74)

You should also recite the istikhara prayer. Set your mind and heart to God granting you a spouse who is best for your worldly and next-worldly life regardless of who it is.

Please see: A Dua to Make Someone My Spouse and Istikhara: The Prayer of Seeking Guidance

Wassalam,

[Ustadh Salman Younas]

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Salman Younas was born and raised in New York and graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Political Science and Religious Studies. After studying the Islamic sciences online and with local scholars in New York, Ustadh Salman moved to Amman. There he studies Islamic law, legal methodology, belief, hadith methodology, logic, Arabic, and tafsir. Ustadh Salman’s personal interests include research into the fields of law/legal methodology, hadith, theology, as well as political theory, government, media, and ethics. He is also an avid traveler and book collector. He currently resides in Amman with his wife.

Playing With A Conch

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question: Assalamualaikum, We went to the Bahamas last year and my kids bought a conch and for fun blow into it. Is this haram? My father has told them that the Hindus use it and we should not.

Answer: Wa ‘alaykum assaalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

It is better to discontinue the use of the conch. It is used by Hindus in their religious ceremonies, so it is superior to avoid it.

Imitating the Disbelievers

The Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “Whoever imitates a people he is one of them.” (Abu Dawud). This hadith is intended to dissuade the believers from attempting to imitate disbelievers and the morally corrupt in matters specific to them and their identity. Doing so would be impermissible and sinful.

There is a lot of detail to this topic, but what is relevant here is the issue of the act of worship they do with the conch. It’s clear that your children do not try to imitate the Hindu ritual, but there is a strong association between the conch and the ritual so it is best avoided. (Itr, I’lam al Anam)

May Allah grant you the best of both worlds.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with erudite scholars such as Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh Abdurrahman Arjan, Shaykh Hussain Darwish, and Shaykh Muhammad Darwish. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic with teachers such as Dr. Ashraf Muneeb, Dr. Salah Abu’l-Hajj, Dr. Hamza al-Bakri, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Dr. Mansur Abu Zina, and others. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Qur’anic recital by Shakh Samir Jabir and Shaykh Yahya Qandil. With Shaykh Ali, he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Qur’anic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.

Company Shares

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question: My company has offered me the option to buy company shares. The share price is substantial, so they offer a loan but it is not interest-free. The company will pay the interest portion, and I will have to pay the principal amount of the loan. Is this transaction legal in our deen?

Answer: wa ‘alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

This transaction is impermissible. It’s better that you get an interest-free loan from another source if you wish to make this investment.

Being Far from Allah’s Mercy

The Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, cursed the one who takes interest, the one who gives it, the one who documents the transaction, and the one who is a witness to that transaction; he said, “They are all equal [in sin].” (Muslim) This is a serious matter.

A curse (la’na) is a plea to Allah to distance someone from His mercy. Imagine a time when you are desperately in need of Allah’s mercy, whether in this life or the next, and it doesn’t show? How dire would that situation be?

Find an alternative, pray the istikhara prayer, and pursue it in a halal manner if you feel it is for your ultimate benefit. Otherwise, run a mile, lest Allah’s mercy is even further away from you at your hour of need.

May Allay grant you the best of both worlds.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with erudite scholars such as Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh Abdurrahman Arjan, Shaykh Hussain Darwish, and Shaykh Muhammad Darwish. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic with teachers such as Dr. Ashraf Muneeb, Dr. Salah Abu’l-Hajj, Dr. Hamza al-Bakri, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Dr. Mansur Abu Zina, and others. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Qur’anic recital by Shakh Samir Jabir and Shaykh Yahya Qandil. With Shaykh Ali, he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Qur’anic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.

Should I Advise My Sister To Get Back With Her Boyfriend?

Answered by Ustadh Farid Dingle

Question: Should I advise my Muslim sister to get back with her boyfriend for the sake of their daughter?

Answer: In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate

Dear questioner,

There is quite a lot in your question, so I will try to tackle it from a few different angles.

In summary, though, do get involved with your sister’s life, and be there for her wherever she is in her religious life, but make sure she knows that she can only continue her relationship with her ex-boyfriend in an Islamic marriage.

Mending together

Your sisters need you. And you need them. Mending, both emotionally and psychologically, takes time, but one of the greatest catalysts is family support.

The modern, almost designed breakup of the family unit is itself a cause of weakened emotional strength — a strength that we all rely on as an immunity to the ‘flings and arrows’ of the chaos of This World (Dunya). Sometimes circumstances force us to separate ourselves from our immediate kith and kin, but we always need to work to rebuild these ties for immediate benefit in This World, and our benefit in the next. So keep in contact with them, and help them through their religious confusion, because you too need them in your life.

Family ties are so important in Islam that Allah Most High equated it in the Quran with turning away from Islam:

‘And might it well be the case that, if you turned away, you will spread corruption on earth and violently sever your ties of relationship? [47:22]

It has also come in a Hadith Qudsi that the womb (the symbol of family ties) stood up before Allah and said, ‘Here I am seeking refuge from being cut off!’ At this Allah responded saying, ‘Yes, [I grant you that]. Will you be content if I keep closing whomsoever keeps you close, and cut off whomsoever cuts you off?’ To which she replied in the affirmative. [Bukhari and Muslim]

So in this vein, it would probably be a good idea to reach out to your brother too, even if he is in another country, and to parents too eventually. All of this is part of the healing process, and all of this is part of the completion of our faith.

The Letter of the Law

Before we proceed to the specifics of what to do in this scenario, we need to get our bearings on what the Sacred Law says about your sister’s relationship and her daughter.

You and I both know that an extramarital relationship between a man and woman is not halal, and that means that Allah hates it and will not make it bear fruits of happiness in the long run. For this reason, the Sacred Law does not recognize the legitimacy of fatherhood outside the fold of marriage: the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, ‘The child is the bed’s [i.e. the mother’s], and the fornicator gets the stone.’ [Muslim] This hadith tells us that is not an issue of biological paternity, rather than only the mother is considered the mother in Allah’s eyes, and the biological father who was not married to the woman has no relationship to either one: he is not the child’s father. This is important to know and recognize, even if the law of the land states otherwise. It means that the daughter will never inherit from the biological father, and is not considered his mahram.

It is also worth noting that as we all know, a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man. The only way that your sister and her former partner could get back together again would be by him becoming Muslim, and then the two getting married. This marriage would also make him the daughter’s mahram.

Trying your best

Now you are probably sitting there reading this and thinking to yourself that this is all well and good, but your sister does not look at things like this at this particular point in her life. Right now, she is trying to survive physically, financially, and emotionally as a single mother. From her current point of view, she is probably torn between love and hate, and toying with the idea of getting back with someone who has a vested interest in her and her (and his) daughter.

Given the situation, you really just have to try your best to realize the least amount of harm on all levels. What if she does go back to him and becomes Muslim? What if he doesn’t become Muslim? What if she doesn’t and just ends up a single mother? What if she just gets another boyfriend?

These are all possibilities that you have to factor in. So just be there for her in these decisions and turn her towards the most god-fearing choices she can actually make at this time in her life.

One of the scholars of the past said, ‘He who guides you to the This World has cheated you; he who guides you to doing acts of worship has tired you out, but he who guides to Allah Himself has given genuine advice.’ This is what she needs right now: a comprehensive will to turn to Allah that will translate into a genuine resolve to abide by His rules.

The golden principle is that Allah is running the show and that whenever we show genuine remorse and willingness to change, He opens solves things for us in unfathomable ways. This entails that we all decide to abide by the Sacred Law, leave the haram in our lives, and strive to perform what is incumbent upon us.

Allah Most High says, ‘Allah is the Protector of those who have faith: from the depths of darkness He will lead them forth into light.’ [2: 257]

We ask Allah to takes us all out of the darkness and into His light. Amen.

[Ustadh] Farid Dingle

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Farid Dingle has completed extensive years of study in the sciences of the Arabic language and the various Islamic Sciences. During his studies, he also earned a CIFE Certificate in Islamic Finance. Over the years he has developed a masterful ability to craft lessons that help non-Arabic speakers gain a deep understanding of the language. He currently teaches courses in the Arabic Language.

Is It Valid to Pray Between Sunrise And Midday?

Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Weltch

Question: Is it permissible to make up missed prayers at the time between Sunrise and Salat al-Zhuhr?

Answer: In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate

May Allah bless you for your inquiry.

It is permissible to make up missed prayer between sunrise and up until just a few minutes prior to the entering of Zuhr time.

There are 3 times, in which any obligatory or necessary prayers performed therein would be invalid (i.e. regarding those prayers whose obligation was established before the entering of these times.) [Maraqi al-Falah] They are:

1) From the rising of the sun (which signifies the end of Fajr) until it fully rises and becomes clearly visible (appx 15 mins after sunrise)

2) When the sun is at its zenith until it declines (signifying the entrance of the time of Zuhr prayer), and,

3) When the sky becomes yellowish and the sun’s light becomes weak, such that one can bear to look at it until it fully sets (this is near the end of the Asar prayer time. (Maraqi al-Falah)

Allah Knows Best

[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Yusuf Weltch is a graduate from Tarim; a student of Habib Umar and other luminaries; and authorized teachers of the Qur’an and the Islamic sciences.

Doubts About My Tawaf During Hajj

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question: I have a constant gas problem, and I have recently performed Hajj. I’m having doubts about my tawaf al ziyara. Please advise.

Answer: Wa ‘alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

Your tawaf is fine and perfectly valid. You can relax, and thank Allah for the opportunity of going.

Certainty is Not Removed by Doubt

The basic understanding is that you performed wudu and nothing which invalidates wudu occurred. You did not hear a sound nor did you smell anything. Therefore, the certainty of your being in a state of wudu is not removed by the doubts you had. (Zarqa, Sharh al Qawa’id al Fiqhiyya)

What you should do is busy yourself with what the prophets Ibrahim and Isma’il said when building the blessed Ka’ba, “O Dear, Loving Lord; accept [this] from us. Indeed, you the All-Hearing, All-Knowing.” (Qur’an, 2:127) An accepted Hajj will be priceless on the Day of Judgement.

May Allah accept your Hajj and that of everyone else who went this year. Amin.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with erudite scholars such as Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh Abdurrahman Arjan, Shaykh Hussain Darwish, and Shaykh Muhammad Darwish. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic with teachers such as Dr. Ashraf Muneeb, Dr. Salah Abu’l-Hajj, Dr. Hamza al-Bakri, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Dr. Mansur Abu Zina, and others. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Qur’anic recital by Shakh Samir Jabir and Shaykh Yahya Qandil. With Shaykh Ali, he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Qur’anic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.

Dealing Problems With Abusive Father

Answered by Shaykh 

Question: I’m a woman who lives with both parents and siblings home. My dad has sexually abused me for 13 long years without my mom knowing. Do I have any right to leave my parents’ home and never speak to my dad again?

Answer: Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh

Dear sister, I pray Allah gives you a quick release from these difficulties you have endured. The difficulty of the situation and the burden of the secret must have been unbearable.

You have every right to leave your parents’ home; in fact, you must. You need to take all the steps to get yourself out of harm’s way, as living in such an environment is clearly very harmful to you.

Allah Hates Oppression

The Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, quoted Allah Almighty Himself to have said, “Truly, I have made it forbidden on myself to wrong anyone; and I have made it severely forbidden for you! So do not oppress each other!“ (Muslim)

Allah hates oppression, and it is necessary for you to end this cycle by moving away to your new school. This will prevent the continuation of this problem.

When you are ready, you need to discuss this matter with your mother. Do not break ties with her due to your father’s actions. She must know, as there are legal ramifications to this situation too. Also, if he has been secretly doing this to you all these years, it is very likely that there have been other victims.

If he’s managed to keep it a secret from your mother, it’s possible that you could have kept other similarly vile acts a secret. Even if there aren’t any other females he has access to, it needs to be brought up: some younger males could be in danger too.

Distance Yourself

At this point, you need to get out of harm’s way and focus on healing. I don’t advise you to go near your father again for the foreseeable future. The scars you have will take a long time to heal. You will need a lot of therapy and a supportive company to move beyond this.

This is a safeguarding issue, and it should be reported to the authorities. Usually, it is the silence of the victims that emboldens people like this to prey on others. This may even be in his own interests to prevent him from further harm to others.

Supplication

Keep supplicating to Allah for a way out, healing, and for you and your loved ones to stay safe. In the Qur’an, Allah commands us to be excellent to our parents (Qur’an, 17:23). The wording indicates that they deserve this just for being the means of entering this world.

Putting up with harm, and restraining yourself from a bad response are both forms of excellence. If things do get out don’t you yourself think that you are being bad, and don’t let anyone else convince you of that either. I’d say you’ve shown plenty of excellence through these all these years, to both of your parents.

Find Support

Find someone who can support you through this and take the necessary steps. Don’t think about cutting ties or anything right now. The priority is to get away and heal. Things may get worse before they get better.

You don’t have to go near him, nor do you have to speak to him at this point. In fact, it’s better you don’t.

As a closing thought, I’d say that such tests are not given to everyone. They are very hard, and the pain may seem unbearable, but the gifts Allah has in store for you will be infinite and unimaginable great. Have a daily dose of reminders on patience and fortitude, and this seminar may be useful on your journey to healing. Get professional help.

May Allah take very special care of you. Amin.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with erudite scholars such as Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh Abdurrahman Arjan, Shaykh Hussain Darwish, and Shaykh Muhammad Darwish. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic with teachers such as Dr. Ashraf Muneeb, Dr. Salah Abu’l-Hajj, Dr. Hamza al-Bakri, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Dr. Mansur Abu Zina, and others. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Qur’anic recital by Shakh Samir Jabir and Shaykh Yahya Qandil. With Shaykh Ali, he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Qur’anic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.