Drawing Closer to Allah – Shaykh Abdal Hakim Murad

Shaykh Abdal Hakim Murad expounds on the hadith of the supererogatory acts, and makes clear the criteria for determining if someone is a wali of Allah.

In the famous Bukhari hadith narrated by Abu Hurayra, Allah be pleased with him, the holy Prophet, blessings and peace be upon him, says – with the words of his Lord, so this is a hadith Qudsi where Allah Himself is speaking: “Whoever harms a wali of Mine, I declare war upon him. My slave draws nearer to Me with nothing more beloved to Me than that which I have made obligatory upon him. And then My slave continues to draw near to Me with optional acts (nawafil) until I love him. And when I love him I become the ear with which he hears, and the eye with which he sees, and the hand with which he smites, and the foot with which he walks. And if he seeks My protection I will surely grant him My protection. And if he seeks My victory I will surely grant him the victory.”

As you know this is one of the great hadiths of Islam. It has a name. It is the hadith al-nawafil. The hadith of the nawafil or the optional, supererogatory acts of religion. And it’s telling us something fundamental. The ulama gives these names to a small number of hadiths, because they have something in them that is essential to the din – of the usul, the roots, not of the furu‘, the branches.

So what is the root of our religion that is being expounded, that is being taught to us by Allah Himself in this beautiful hadith? See how He begins it. He begins it by grabbing our attention – by talking about enmity and war. That’s the thing that we most fear. And what we fear more than human war, is fear of war from Allah Most High. Who could stand against that?

The Principle of Wilaya

He says, Exalted and Most High, “Whoever harms a wali of Mine, I declare war upon him.” This is announcing that this hadith is going to be about a particular principle: the principle of wilaya. The principle of being a wali. Do we next get a technical definition of what exactly that means? We don’t. Because the Qur’an and the Hadith, and these hadith qudsiyya particularly, speak to the heart. Speak to the deeper aspect of human intuition. Speak to the core of us, the qalb (heart) and the sirr (secret). The sirr which is the center of our religious life.

We’re not going to get some technical, theological definition here. Instead we’re told how to get there and what it might be like and what are the consequences in practice. See how the hadith goes on. It seems to change direction in a surprising way. It says, “My slave draws nearer to Me with nothing more beloved to Me than that which I have made obligatory upon him.”

It begins again with an attractive principle. It started with fear. Who wants Allah’s war? Then it talks about love. Another thing all human beings are going to be magnetized by. But it’s not love for ourselves. In this hadith, Allah is saying that His love is for those things which He has made obligatory upon us.

The Path of Religion

When we begin in the path of religion we ourselves may be very far from being lovable. That’s why we don’t say, in our religion, “Allah loves everybody.” Allah loves that which is true and good and beautiful. He loves that which we are called to become. And He loves our origin in the nature of Adam, peace be upon him, which is “ahsan taqwim” (Sura al-Tin 95:4). But He doesn’t love us in all our forgetfulness, in our sinfulness, in our envy, and all of the stuff that we do. It is not possible for the Supreme Being to love imperfection. He loves what we are called to be.

In this beginning of our path, and this is a journey that the hadith is telling us about, He has said that He loves the obligations. What is it about us in our religious life that is really most beautiful? When are we in the state, truly, of khilafa and Adamiyya? It is when we are following these obligations. It is when we are sajid (in prostration). It is when we’re following the Sunna and particularly the obligatory things. The five pillars and the other obligations. Those are the aspects of our life that Allah loves. And the other stuff, not so much or not at all.

This language that the hadith uses, which is of “drawing near.” It specifically says this. This is about the journey, not about the state. The journey of religion is a journey. It is suluk, wayfaring, spiritual traveling. Nobody ever stands still. In religion, if you don’t constantly make an effort, that will be like trying to ride a bicycle on the streets of Cambridge. If you’re not pushing the bicycle will fall over. Constantly, we are required, in order to persevere with this journey, to make an effort. And the first effort is to make sure we get these obligations right.

No Heights without Foundations

Do we really know the obligatory beliefs? Do we really know how to do the obligations of prayer and fasting? Before we go on to think about more fancy stuff, have we got the foundations correct? As the ulama say, “They never reach the heights because they neglected the foundations.” We should always think carefully and constantly about, for instance, all of these thousands of prayers that, insha Allah, it will be our nasib to say in our lives – are we sure that we’ve got them right? Are we sure that we’ve got the basic rules of wudu right?

What is more ridiculous than somebody leaving out one of the arkan, basic obligations, when it might take him only a couple of seconds. And he repeats that defective ‘ibada the rest of his days. Let’s make sure that we get these usul right, because it is those things, the aspects of our life as lowly beginners beginners, that Allah, Exalted and Most High, loves. At least in those situations where we are, outwardly at least, in the state of obedience, Allah Most High loves that aspect of us.

The hadith is linking this journey – this suluk, this taqarrub, this literally drawing near to the Creator – to the principle of the Divine Love. In our theology this is always very important. How can we fly our finite selves to the pleasure of the Infinite Being? What can we do that can satisfy the perfection of an Infinite Being? Well, not very much.

Even the obligations that we do are probably done inadequately. We may be outwardly compliant. Who knows where we are inwardly? Who knows what my niyya or intention is? Who knows what we’re really thinking about during these outward forms? But out of His love, because at least we have the outward manifestation of this, that is an aspect of us that He truly loves. And in that state we should be able to begin to find our peace, which is what we all crave.

The Principle of Love

So there is this principle of love in this hadith. And there is this principal of taqarrub: drawing near to Allah, Exalted and Most High. Then the hadith goes on. It’s not just about stopping with the obligations and Allah loves that part of us. No, it’s about progressing. “Thumma!” the Arabic then says. “Then, My slave continues to draw near to Me with optional acts until I love him.”

Now it becomes serious, more serious. It’s not those outward acts that He loves, of the various things that are existent in our lives. It’s our selves. We can be loved by the Creator, Exalted and Most High, despite our maggot-like mortality. Despite the eminent weakness of who we are, and how we think, and everything that we do, He can actually love us. And that is from His generosity, His magnificent mercy that He loves us. But that doesn’t just come without an effort. What is required is these optional acts.

Beyond the obligations there must be something more. Somebody who does the outward fundamentals with ikhlas or sincerity, insha Allah, has the key to Paradise. But there’s more to it than that. There are so many additional things, and the additional things include deepening and perfecting the outward acts, as well as learning about additional acts. As well as learning about fasting on Ashura, you can think about fasting in Ramadan, but better. I could really stop lying. I could really stop being distracted. I could really stop all of the stuff that we do that makes the fast a kind of outward thing but not always an inward flowing reality.

So the nawafil don’t just mean the extra prayers, the extra fast, and the Umra, and those other things. It means deepening what we already have. And if we do that that Allah, Exalted and Most High, is making us this extraordinary promise. Whatever the world might think of us, Allah will love us if we are in that situation. That’s an extraordinary thing. Out of all the orders of creation, Adam, peace be upon him, is singled out for this unique, divine love.

Chosen above All Creation

At the beginning of the human story, the Angels, even, were commanded to bow down to him. Not to Mount Everest. Not to the Andromeda galaxy. Not to space and time itself. But to Adam, peace be upon him, because of the greatness of the divine love for His creature (safiy). This specific title says that Adam, peace be upon him, is the chosen. People say, “I can understand Ibrahim, peace be upon him, is the khalil (friend) of Allah, and Musa, peace be upon him, being kalim Allah (the one who spoke to Allah), and our master Muhammad, blessings and peace be upon him, being habib (beloved of) Allah. Yes, but safiy Allah? Chosen? When he was the only one? Not much of a choice.”

Chosen indeed! Over all the other elements of creation. Over the angelic realms. Over the rocks. Over the Great Rivers. Over the mighty seas. Adam, peace be upon him, is the one to whom even the angels in their perception, in their infallibility, are commanded to bow down. That is the extent of Allah’s love for His greatest summit of creation.

Not just this dust that Iblis, Allah curse him, saw, but the luminosity of the ruh (spirit) which has been breathed into Bani Adam, which make us something unusual and unique in creation. And of all of those countless tens of millions of species, and of all of those other planets that they can just dimly glimpse through telescopes, the only entity that we really know in the whole wide cosmos that can actually think, that can be ethical, that can make meaningful choices is our weak selves – Bani Adam.

This is the meaning of the hamla al-amana (carry this trust). Allah Exalted and Most High offered this Amana to the heavens and the earth and the mountains but they refused to carry it. And they were afraid of it. And He caused man to carry this Amana. This knowledge, this capacity to choose, this capacity to say, “la ilaha illa Allah,” volitionally, rather than compelled. And then what do we do? “He who has proved a tyrant and a fool.” (Sura al-Ahzab 33:72)

We carry this Amana. We have the capacity to be these luminous beings, with this miraculous capacity to see, to understand, to name, to choose, to be ethical, to be better than anything else. But we choose the other stuff. This is “asfala al-safilin.” (Sura al-Tin 95:5) They’re supposed to be in the best of forms, but human beings, when they’re not the best of forms, can be the worst of the worst.

The Two Paths before Us

What is more impressive in the world than the real wali who is in complete outward and inward conformity and obedience and love with his Creator, Exalted and Most High? Nothing finer. What is lower in the world than the one who’s cheating and lying and defrauding people and being brutal? What it worse? [Is there] anything in the animal kingdom worse than that tyrant? No. [Is there] anything in the natural world lower than that tyrant? [Is there] anything in the wide universe that we know of that’s more disgusting than Firaun and Haman? No. Human beings will say, No.

So we can follow Musa, peace be upon him, or we can follow Firaun. There is the possibility of this najdayn. “We have guided him to the two paths.” (Sura al-Balad 90:10) And everybody has that choice. Those two paths are in front of us not once or twice in a lifetime, but at every moment. There is no conscious waking moment in our lives when there isn’t the right thing to do, which is there, and a lot of wrong things which we could also do in that situation.

This is what is meant by constancy. This suluk is constant. This iqtirab, this becoming closer to our Lord and His favor is a constant effort. It’s like riding your bike down King’s Parade. You have to keep going or you’ll fall off. Similarly, the constant effort in order to avoid the lower possibilities, the gravitational force that pulls us down to egotism, to vice, to stupidity, to self-pity, to the ugly things that human beings are good at. Then Allah in His grace can raise us up. Until we get this amazing outcome: “Until I love him.”

If you have that – even though in the madhhab of Ahl al-Sunna wa al-Jama‘ – we generally say wali doesn’t know that he is a wali. If he sees amazing things happening to him and Allah’s favor, he says: “I’m afraid this is some divine ruse.” This is Ibrahim ibn Adham, concerning whom the most amazing things happened, and people came to him from East and West for his prayers. A luminous individual who’d given up his kingdom just for the sake of Allah, Exalted and Most High. Whenever something amazing happened to him in a sign of the divine favor he would look frightened and say, “I’m afraid this is some divine ruse.”

That’s the brokenness and the beauty of the one who is truly close to Allah. He is the humblest of people. Even though Allah and his angels know that he is the best of people. This is one of the secrets of religion and one of the reasons for the beauty of those people.

This Divine Love

This divine love, we may not know it. We may possibly see signs and say, “AlhamduliLlah, Allah has been generous to us.” But generally as we move on this path of iqtirab and suluk, drawing closer to our Lord, we kind of shrink in our awareness of ourselves. Firaun is convinced that he is “your greatest Lord.” Our master Musa, peace be upon him, is the humble refugee and outcast. That’s the difference.

The tyrant soul is the inflated soul of the high net-worth individual, a billionaire, the one with the executive yacht who really thinks that the world is there to serve him. But Allah, Exalted and Most High, in His grace and His love is more likely to be with the weak and the poor and the despised and refugees and the poor taxi drivers, whoever they are. Those are the people who truly are in this state of mahabba, and whom Allah loves, which is why the holy Prophet, blessings and peace be upon him, prays to his Lord to be resurrected among the poor. Not among even grandiose, pious, Islamic bankers, no, among the poor. “O, Allah, resurrect me in the company of the destitute.” Their egos are humbled but their hearts can be luminous.

The hadith doesn’t stop here. It goes on and then tells us something even more shattering and something that we need to think about carefully lest we misunderstand. It’s a sound hadith. It’s from Bukhari. There’s no problem about whether this is right. But how is it right? “When I love him,” Allah says, “I become the ear with which he hears, and the eye with which he sees, and the hand with which he smites, and the foot with which he walks.”

Obviously, every scholar of Islam has always said, “Don’t take that literally. Don’t think that your hand is God’s hand in any literal sense.” No, that’s the way of people we call the hashwiyya. In Medieval Islam there was a sect of people who said, “The faithful way of reading the Qur’an and Sunna is to interpret everything in the most literal possible way. So, Allah actually has some kind of physical form and He sits on something.”

This is not the way of the of Ahl al-Sunna wa al-Jama‘. Obviously, if you use the hashwiyya method for a hadith like this, then you’re going to get all kinds of strange difficulties, and it won’t be tawhid. Allah, exalted and Most High, cannot inhere in anything physical because He is infinite. He cannot have finite extension. You cannot have a body. This is the error of the Christians. With the incarnation they thought the infinity of Allah, Exalted and Most High, can somehow be squeezed and crunched into the confines of the physical body of the first century Palestinian Jew and that is muhal (impossible). It doesn’t work.

The Principle of Tawhid

We have to interpret this according to a criterion that saves the principle of tawhid. Some people can go astray in this, but it’s important. So what does it mean? Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani in his great commentary, the greatest commentary of commentaries of Bukhari, Fath al-Bari, has a long discussion on this. He says, “Some of the ulama say, that when Allah says he becomes the eye with which you see, He means you only see the things that He has commanded you to see. And when he becomes the foot with which you walk that means you only go to the things that He has commanded you to go to.” That’s one interpretation. It is a perfectly valid one.

There are others which are about obedience. That is to say, you only use these outward faculties that you have in obedience to Him, Exalted and Most High. So you’re conforming to the divine command. Others will say, Allah, Exalted and Most High, is the One who is, in His qualities of course, the ground of all being in creation. Why are the Angels bowing down to Adam, peace be upon him? Not because of his Adamiyya, his humanity as such, but because of the sirr that is there. There is something noble about the perfected human being. There is something noble about the one who Allah truly loves, which means that it is more than a question of just guidance, but looking at that person can bring you to a higher spiritual state. How is that possible?

We know that the Sahaba used to go just to look at the holy Prophet, blessings and peace be upon him. This is the hadith of Umm Waraqa. They used to go just to look at him. As if just to look at him was an ‘ibada. There is something in the quality of the perfected human being that is a reminder. How does this work? Well, the hadith is saying precisely this. But the hadith then goes on to speak about the consequences. Not to engage in dangerous metaphysical speculations, but to talk about consequences. “And if he seeks My protection I will surely grant him My protection. And if he seeks My victory I will surely grant him the victory.”

This is how the early Muslims were with their amazing victories, inwardly, spiritual, military, economics, everything. That amazing civilization they produced, East and West, almost overnight, was because they were in this state of Adamiyya. Because of their absolute ‘ubudiyya, their slavehood to Allah, Exalted and Most High, in them, they manifested something of the agency of the divine intention. They were in a state of muwafaqa.

Back to the Beginning

So, to take it back to the point with which we began and this deep mystery. What is it for somebody could be in the state of iqtirab, to be close, to receive the divine love, what exactly is that all about? We’re not allowed to misunderstand it, but the hadith is saying that it is important. What does it mean to be close to Allah, Exalted and Most High? This doesn’t mean geographical closeness or temporal closeness. It means something deeper. And Allah, Exalted and Most High, has describing Himself as al-Qarib. “If my slave asks concerning Me, I am near. I respond to the prayer of the one who makes supplication when he calls upon Me.” (Sura al-Baqara 2:186) He is al-Qarib.

This iqtirab of which the hadith speaks means going close to the One who is already qarib (near). He is never mentioned as ba‘id in the Qur’an and in the hadith. No, He is always close, but we are ba‘id. We are really far, because the lower shaytanic self within ourselves likes to see the world as just being a bunch of things causing other things and neglects the divine reality that is propelling absolutely everything. The divine Names that never cease to be an action in every single moment, in every single movement of every atom in creation, there is the divine agency. That is al-Qarib. “Closer to you than your jugular vein.” (Sura Qaf 50:16)

So that whatever one does is, as it were, just a reflection of Adam’s status with Allah. That one acts simply in accordance with the divine command. Acts as an agent of the divine instruction on earth. That extraordinary thing, that place which is the recipient of the divine mahabba, is what the hadith is referring to as al-wali.

But Who Is the Wali?

There is a lot of talk in Muslim cultures about the wali. We know that it is present in the Hadith. It is present in this hadith. What exactly does it mean? Waliya in Arabic means to be close. It is quite close to the idea of qarib. Allah, Exalted and Most High, uses it with reference to Himself. “Allah is the Wali of those who have faith.” (Sura al-Baqara 2:257) Interesting divine Name, like some of the others, like Latif, like Rahim, that can be used by human beings as well as by Allah, Exalted and Most High.

In this context, the Wali, the One who is the divine friend, the divine Patron, the one who takes responsibility for and is the Patron of, and lovingly guides and helps and protects the salihin (righteous). That is the Wali. That is what it means when we refer to Allah, Exalted and Most High, as al-Wali.

When this refers to a human being what can it mean? What ought it to mean? Well, the ulama here say, closeness. Of course, through this process of iqtirab, of drawing close, one is in proximity to the divine in whatever mysterious and ineffable and difficult way we may conceptualize that, because He is not in a place. But closeness, closeness to His love. Closeness to His obedience. Closeness to conformity to His command. Closeness to the sakina, to the peace, which is in His is presence. This is what it means.

Waliya also in Arabic has the sense: to be consecutive. It is said, “The wali is the one whose actions succeed one another uninterruptedly in conformity with the Sunna.” This is how Imam al-Qushayri defines. Who is the wali? Never mind elaborate definitions of some metaphysical something. Look at the practice. By their fruits you shall know them. Who is the wali in Islam? According to Imam al-Qushayri in his Risala, “It is the one whose actions succeed one another without anything else interrupting them in conformity to the divine command.”

By their Fruits…

Abu Yazid al-Bistami, one of the great, mysterious early Muslims, who is himself revered as a great wali, was told once in this masjid there is a wali. Now any Muslim knows that if you hear of such a person that is true, you want to get near him, because he can pray for you, and his prayers are more likely to be answered than your own. Whenever Muslims travel to a new institution or new town or new country they want to know who is a wali, because their presence is beneficial. They are somebody who is completely, inwardly as well as outwardly, in conformity with the Kitab and the Sunna.

He was told, “There is a wali in that masjid.” He goes to that masjid and there is this man who is doing his ‘ibada. At the end of his ‘ibada the man gets up, and Abu Yazid is watching. And the man makes this disgusting sound with his throat. The kind of noise that you hear sometimes often and mysteriously when people are making wudu in the mosque. Abu Yazid doesn’t speak to him when he comes out. He says, “Somebody who does not look after one of the courtesies of the Shari‘a, how can he be looking after some of the secrets of Allah in creation?” It is not possible. This is fundamental. This is the essential criteria.

Do you want to know who is really a wali, and you don’t want to read a million texts of metaphysical speculation that probably don’t get to the heart of it, and may confuse you if you’re not a super scholar? Just see, first of all, is that person is conformity with the Qur’an and the Sunna? Secondly, does the company of that person make you remember Allah and feel closer to your Lord? Is it, per proximity, something that increases your desire for ‘ibada. That increases your love for human beings, that increases your humility, that makes you want to go out and help people, and see the best in people?

The Firm Criterion

This is the criterion that we offer in Islam. Conformity with the Kitab and the Sunna, because anything else is not Islamic. But also this proximity that comes about with this iqtirab. This mysterious state where the wali is seeing with eyes that, as it were, the eyes that Allah is seeing with. Whatever that means. However we conceptualize it.

Ibn Hajar offered 17 different explanations for this to the common among the ulama. Whatever that might mean is not given to us to know, but we respect them. The key criterion is conformity to the Kitab and the Sunna, and that quality has to be perceived by our soul, so that in the company of those people we are healed and improved and made upright, insha Allah.

May Allah increase the number of His awliya in this umma, and make us their followers, and help us to seek them out, and insha Allah, by them to draw near to true rather than false victory and protection to this umma in these difficult times, insha Allah. Amin.

This post was transcribed, edited, and hyperlinked from a sound file of a lesson given by Shaykh Abdal Hakim Murad that was published on Youtube by tradarchive on 2 March 2017.

Does a Marriage without Repentance Count?

Answered by Shaykh Shuaib Ally

Question: I have commited fornication with a girl. We didn’t repent from it and we married in front of a islamic with witnesses but no guardians. I have divorced her three times after that. Can I marry her again due to the fact that our first marriage was without guardians nor repentance?

Answer: assalamu `alaykum

A marriage carried out by an Islamic Qadi (judge) according to the principles of one of the four schools of law, such as the Hanafi school, is considered valid.

Your divorce is also legally effective, and you cannot simply remarry her.

Moreover, a marriage does not depend upon repentance of past sins from either the bride or groom.

May Allah facilitate your affairs in this life and the next.

Shuaib Ally

Can I Marry Without My Parents’ Consent?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: I was engaged to a guy and my family later found out that that he has a past. My parents have refused to let him marry me, but I am already emotionally attached to him. I tried to convince them but it’s not working. Can I still marry him without my parents’ consent?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. Dear sister, this is a difficult situation to be in. I pray that Allah facilitates a way out for you.


The most favourable situation would be for you to marry this man with your family’s consent. In Islam, marriage is about two families coming together as well as a husband and wife. Women who marry without their family’s blessings are often in vulnerable situations because they lack family support. The first year of marriage is challenging for everyone, especially when they no longer have the bedrock of their family to lean on in times of hardship.

Although the exception to the rule is marriage without your parents’ consent, it would be a very, very difficult path to tread.


1) Pray Salatul Hajat and ask Allah for ease; Pray Salatul Istikhara and be open to taking the path which Allah opens up for you. This will be difficult because you are already emotionally attached to this man. The truth of the matter is that whatever Allah has written will come to pass, and this may or may not mean marriage to this man.

2) Consult with a trusted community elder, family member or family friend, and ask him/her to advocate for the man you wish to marry. Choose someone who is kind and fair, and who will help reason with your parents. It helps to pick someone whom your parents already trust and respect.

3) Take the time and effort to exhaust all means to win your family over. At the end of the day, they love you dearly and want what is best for you. Perhaps because of his past, they are reluctant and afraid to entrust you to him.

4) Remember to always treat your parents with respect and compassion, no matter how they treat you or the man you want to marry.


If you do decide to marry him against your parents’ wishes, then be prepared to cope with the fallout. If they disown you, ban you from visiting etc, then be steadfast and continue to reach out to them with respect and kindness. Your responsibility is still to keep ties with them even if they do not wish to keep ties with you. In most cases, the passage of time will smooth things over. If not, then the arrival of grandchildren will, inshaAllah. If you do not have the support of your immediate family, then ensure you have support from close friends, extended family etc. Adjusting to marriage is challenging, even in the most ideal circumstances.

May Allah guide you to whatever is best in both worlds.


Please refer to the following links:

What to Do When My Parents Reject My Choice of Spouse Because of Cultural Reasons?
Are There Any Legal Leeways to Get Over the Refusal of a Guardian Regarding an Interracial Marriage?
Obeying Parents In Matters of Marriage

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Unregistered Marriages: A Muslim Concern

Nikah Wedding bride

On his deathbed, an imam in the United Kingdom had a confession to make: he had never registered the unions of hundreds of Muslim couples he married in his mosque. Despite promising these couples that he would do so, he forgot – a catastrophic mistake, as they and any children from their union would have no rights in UK law upon divorce or death. Taking his last breaths, the imam now begged for forgiveness.

As she shared this story, London-based solicitor Aina Khan offered statistics that have recently made headlines in the British press:

80% of Muslim couples under the age of 40 in the UK have not registered their marriages under civil law, while 80% of UK mosques are not registering the Islamic marriages conducted under their auspices.

The high rate of unregistered Muslim marriages, or ‘nikahs,’ has concerned traditional Muslim scholars, who worry that these numbers reflect a lack of Muslim integration into broader society and increasing injustice for women and children involved in such unions. Many are calling for Muslim couples to register their marriages under civil law.

“Because we live in a Western society where a traditional nikah can’t be enforced by the court and there is a lot of harm that results – particularly from the female side – people should be told to register,” said Ustadh Salman Younas, a SeekersHub teacher who has studied with many of today’s leading Islamic scholars.

The consequences of unregistered Muslim unions – in which couples sign an Islamic contract but fail to register their marriages with the government – can be extremely harmful. As the UK does not recognize an Islamic marriage contract as legally binding, if the marriage ends upon divorce or the death of a spouse, spouses owe each other nothing in terms of financial support, child care, or inheritance under British law. Removing one partner’s share of funds from a couple’s joint financial investment, such as a mortgage or family business, or from a shared bank account becomes extremely difficult.

The reasons for such high numbers of unregistered marriages are many. Although British headlines worried the numbers indicated a rise in religious extremism, Khan, who published the numbers after conducting research in the UK’s Muslim community, uncovered a different cause.

“Nine out of ten people do it out of sheer ignorance. They say, ‘oh, we’ll do it one day.’ What’s really important is the outfit, the venue, the color of the napkins,” said Khan, head of the Islamic department at Duncan Lewis. “[Others] want to avoid a divorce and a financial share of assets.”

The resistance to registering the marriage often comes from the groom and his family, according to Khan, who want to limit what he would owe the bride in a climate of high divorce rates. Some argue that divorce settlements under British law do not comply with their Islamic counterparts, taking away some of the rights men traditionally had under Islamic law.

Such a view, however, is antithetical to the Islamic spirit.

“Our religion calls for excellence,” said Ustadh Salman. “Are you going to say that because the husband isn’t going to have some of his rights, you’re going to take away virtually all of the wife’s rights?”

Unregistered marriages that end in divorce usually end up at one of Britain’s shari’a courts, which, while holding moral authority among Muslims, are not legally binding. Most of these courts go back to classical texts with traditional rulings that include giving the husband custody of children over the age of seven and leaving the wife no more than three months of financial support.

Few Muslim scholars in the West have dealt with how a post-divorce settlement would look like in a situation that includes new variables such as double income families and two-party contribution to mortgages. This is a problem, argued Ustadh Salman.

“Scholars should examine the family context,” said the ustadh, particularly when viewing the wife’s rights. “To say that all she’s allowed is three months upkeep and then off you go, there’s no link and the husband owes you nothing: that’s unfair in a contemporary context.”

One of the main pillars of Islamic law is justice. Scholars have long held that if older rulings do not establish justice in contemporary realities, then they must move beyond the letter of the text and look at the principles of the text to see how they apply to our current time, according to Ustadh Salman.

“There are many tools at the disposal of a mufti to change legal rules: custom, consideration of public interest, hardship, lesser of two evils, blocking the means to harm,” said Ustadh Salman. “All are well-documented in the tradition.”

In order to ensure the creation of rulings that establish justice based on the Prophetic model in contemporary society, Muslim scholars – and the community at large – must work with other professionals who have the necessary expertise in the fields being studied, such as marriage counselors or legal advisors, said Ustadh Salman.

Among the most common advice given by those experts is that prevention is the cure.

“Have a prenuptial agreement, write it down before the nikah: you’ll each keep your own earnings… Discuss these things,” said Khan, “and then forget about it and have a happy marriage.”

The Islamic contract itself can include clauses that give the wife, for example, the right to divorce if the marriage is not registered under civil law in a year’s time, said Ustadh Salman.

Divorce-ImageFor unregistered couples whose marriages may be failing, however, Khan advised to put the needs of their children before their own and register their marriages. They could then sign an agreement that they would not take from each other more than they are owed Islamically. If that does not work, then a claim against the husband can be made for housing and other types of support if there are children from the marriage. Other issues, such as joint business ventures, can be dealt with, but this is both expensive and risky.

Ultimately, the only way to effectively deal with these issues is for Muslim scholars and community leaders to spread the the message about the consequences of unregistered marriages in the Muslim community, said Khan.

“It cannot be women demanding their rights from the outside,” said Khan. “We need sponsors – mostly male in our community – to support us by spreading this message.”

Khan’s “Register Our Marriage” campaign is one avenue for spreading the word on unregistered marriages. The campaign aims, among other things, to partner with Muslim scholars to publicize a narrative via road shows and social media that says an Islamic marriage is a legal marriage that protects all in it. It also asks mosques to pledge to become authorized to register civil marriages.

As for changes within the Islamic legal system, Ustadh Salman said that they are taking place. Although some may be frustrated with the pace of change, the discourse is progressing, especially as word about the consequences of unregistered marriages spreads through the community.

“Social progress always precedes law,” said Ustadh Salman. “It’s going to take some time to get solutions on this issue, but we need to keep pushing.”

Written by Nour Merza


Resources for Seekers:

Who Gets Custody of the Children After a Divorce?
Can One Get Married With the Goal of Getting Citizenship?
Words of Divorce and Dealing With Abuse in the Maliki School
How to Solve the Problem With Prolonged Engagements
Is It Valid to Divorce Someone While Angry or During Menstruation?
The Fiqh of the Marriage Feast (Walima)
The Ruling on Divorcing While Angry and Pronouncing Three Divorces
Is My Marriage Valid? (Shafi’i School)
What are the Wisdoms behind the Rulings on Divorce in Islam?
Islamic Law for Seekers (Hanafi): Marriage & Divorce (Course)
Basic Rulings and Length of the Waiting Period (`idda)
When Love is Not Enough
Understanding Marriage – A conversation with Imam Zaid Shakir
Should I Stay Married Even Though I Hate My Husband?

Can You Give Me Clarification on the Question Regarding a Woman’s Stepbrother From Her Mother’s Side Being a Wali? (Shafi’i)

Answered by Shaykh Shuaib Ally

Question: Assalam alaykum,

Recently, I have read one of your answer: Is My Marriage Valid? (Shafi’i School)

However, I need some clarification.

Your answer is correct: a stepbrother was a sufficient and acceptable guardian (wali) for her for purposes of the marriage contract.

However the stepbrother is accepted if only the stepbrother is from the father of the female. In this question, the questioner said the stepbrother was born from the SAME MOTHER. Moreover, this stepbrother was born out of the wedlock with the muslim man which means the stepbrother was born by the mother and muslim man without marriage.

Therefore, the stepbrother cannot be wali for the marriage because:

1. He is not the valid wali for the female because he has the same mother but not the same father.
2. He is a child born out of wedlock.

Dear Ustadh, I am doubt with your answer based on my little knowledge and my country situation. It is possible that my knowledge is not applied with the questioner and the country where the questioner is living?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

God reward you for seeking clarification.

You are correct in that a woman’s stepbrother (from her mother) would not be considered a valid wali by virtue of lineage, for one of the reasons you mentioned: he would need to have been born of the same father to be so (his being born out of wedlock is immaterial; he is still attributed to the mother, and is still legally the woman’s stepbrother).

In many scenarios in which some part of the marriage contract had not been conducted validly, oftentimes due to good faith errors, the school wouldn’t consider the marriage and everything that derived from it null. It would rather simply require that the contract be redone properly. In this scenario, had a valid wali been present, the school would have required that the contract be redone with that person acting as the wali.

When a woman does not have a valid wali, as is the case here, she would resort to using a Qadi or Hakim (that is, a person with Islamic legal authority) to serve as her wali. In the absence of such a legal authority, as is the case in the modern Western world, from which the question originated, a woman can appoint a man to serve as her wali. The marriage would then be valid.

Such a person could be her stepbrother from her mother. Thus, even though he is not a valid wali by virtue of lineage, he was a valid wali that was acceptable to both parties of marriage in the absence of an actual wali or a recognized legal authority. Because he could serve as such, and has done so, the marriage would be valid, and there wouldn’t appear to be any legal or practical purpose in redoing the contract.

It also isn’t relevant that the parties did not know what kind of wali he was; he suffices given the circumstances described above, as well as their acceptance of his role in the marriage. It is also more than likely that the Shafi’i scholar who originally conducted their marriage for them was aware of this.

In short, taking all of the foregoing into consideration, it appears that the stepbrother in her specific circumstance was a sufficient and acceptable guardian for her, and that the marriage is valid.

God knows best.

Shuaib Ally

Are There Any Legal Leeways to Get Over the Refusal of a Guardian Regarding an Interracial Marriage?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalamu ‘alaykum,

I would like to know what are the options available for a woman whose guardian prevents her to marry another respectable muslim based only on cultural and racial considerations?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray that you are in the best of health and faith, insha’Allah.

The basis is that a woman needs the permission and consent of her guardian (wali) before marrying, and doing anything otherwise would be wrong, and even sinful if it causes undue hurt to her parents.

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “There is no marriage without the consent of the guardian.” [Tirmidhi & Abu Dawud]

However, in cases of serious difficulty in obtaining the permission of the guardian, there is legal basis for her to marry without his permission.

As Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam writes, “…this acceptability is merely a concession which may be resorted to in situations of need and a blessing for those women who fall victim to their parents’ mistreatment and abuse. In cases where parents force their daughter to marry against her wishes– based purely on caste, wealth, and other similar preferences– and give more importance to their personal gain over and above her interests, this ruling can be an important haven.” [Elucidation of Forty Hadiths on Marriage]

Though this is not a general ruling, and it is certainly not permission for “couples” to make their own mind up about whether or not they have a legitimate excuse.

Hence, I’d advise getting in touch with a local, righteous scholar who can directly assist in your situation. With that, pray the Prayer of Need (salat al-hajah). [see: How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (salat al-haja)?]

Please also see: Video: Finding a spouse, maintaining strong marriages and: Marriage in Islam: A Reader and: Supplicating So Parents Accept My Choice for Marriage

And consider taking: Islamic Marriage: Guidance for Successful Marriage and Married Life

And Allah alone gives success.


Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Details Regarding Being a “Wali” for Marriage in the Maliki School

Answered by Shaykh Rami Nsour

Question: I have a few questions relating to what it means to be a “Wali”. From my understanding, a Wali for a convert is a Muslim male guardian, and I understand that some madhhab’s don’t “require” me to have a Wali, but I’m still missing quite a bit of information regarding this subject.

1. What are the Wali’s responsibilities?
2. What are the responsibilities of person X to a Wali?
3. How does one “pick” a Wali?
4. If an Imam conducts the marriage ceremony for a convert, does he automatically become her Wali if she doesn’t have anyone yet?
5. What is the Maliki view on having/requiring a Wali?


1. There are various types of a Wali, such as those who are entrusted with the care of orphans and the Wali in terms of a marriage. In terms of a Wali’s responsibility towards someone they are representing in a marriage, that Wali must insure that the marriage is suitable for the woman and that the contract insures she be treated fairly. The Wali’s position is over once the marriage is complete and he does not have a legally binding (fiqh) responsibility but the rules of good conduct (akhlaq) would entail that he continue to ensure that someone he married off is being treated well.

2. There are no responsibilities of person X towards their Wali.

3. Person X can choose whoever they want to be their Wali during the marriage contract. The person also can change who they want their Wali to be. The only requirement for the Wali is that he be an adult Muslim male who has knowledge of the rules of marriage, knows what is good for the person he is marrying off based on the culture of the people, and that he be free from outward deviance (fisq).

4. If the Imam conducts the marriage, he would be the Wali.

5. In the Maliki school, a woman must have a Wali present at the contract for the marriage to be sound. If a woman does not have a Muslim male relative, then she can choose a Wali from amongst the Muslim men as long as he is knowledgable and trustworthy.

[Dusuqi, Hashiya Al Sharh al Kabir]

I Need Help Finding a Wali

Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari

Question: Bismillah arahman araheem

I am a convert to Islam, and would like to get married soon.  Like many converts, I do not have a wali.  I realize how valuable this role can be, and would like to have an imam or other pious/learned man serve as mine while I go through this process.

I have sought out help locally, but keep encountering obstacles.  Ideally I’d like to have a wali who would take a bit of time to know me, so that he can help me make an educated decision regarding compatibility.

Could you refer me to someone who might be willing to take on the responsibility of serving as my wali?

Jazakallah khair for your time, and I look forward to your response, insha’Allah.

Answer: In the Name of God, the Gracious, the Merciful

Dear Sister,

Assalamu alaikum.

Thank you for your question.

You are correct that having a wali is important in the process of selecting a spouse. Keep in mind, however, that the Islamic schools of law (bodies of differing legal interpretation of the Qur’an and Prophetic tradition) are not unanimous about a woman’s having to have a wali. For example, the Hanafi school does not require women to have a wali and this position is particularly helpful to women who convert to Islam and do not have Muslim male relatives to assist them in finding a spouse.

Having said that, I’m not a fan of going it alone and I do urge you to make friends with the women in your community, and particularly in the mosques of your larger town, as this will aid you in expanding your network. I don’t know of anyone in that part of the country to recommend personally, but you might contact the ADAMS Center in Virginia for a referral to an Imam in  your area.

May Allah make things easy for you and send you a righteous husband,