Father-in-Law Kissed Daughter-in-Law

Ustadh Salman Younas gives general advice on a case of a father-in-law kissing the daughter-in-law by mistake and how one should act in such cases.

Question:

Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

A case has arisen in our town that a father in law suddenly and unexpectedly kissed his daughter in law. This all happened in seconds. After that he is shameful and saying that he didn’t do this intentionally and lustfully and there is no erection or ejaculation, and he is ready to swore on the Qur’an that she is like my daughter and I have not done this intentionally.

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

My assumption is that you are asking about hurmat al-musahara, which is the non-marriageable kinship (mahramiya) created between a person and the relatives of his spouse as a result of marriage and valid intercourse. Thus, a man who marries a woman and consummates the marriage is not permitted to marry her mother or any daughters she has from a previous marriage. Similarly, a person cannot marry the wife of his father. The Qur’anic verse affirming the basic idea of hurmat al-musahara is, “Do not marry those [women] whom your fathers married.” (Sura al-Nisa 4:22)

Outside of a marriage context, however, the scholars differ on whether hurmat al-musahara is ever established. In other words, does adultery–fornication or touching–kissing outside of a marriage relationship establish this hurma? The Hanafis say it does (adding specific conditions when it comes to touching/kissing), while the Malikis and Shafi‘is say it does not. In other words, if a father-in-law touched his daughter-in-law directly with lust, the marriage between the former’s son and the daughter-in-law would be broken according to Hanafis but not so according to the Malikis or Shafi‘is. (Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar; al-Shirbini, Mughni al-Muhtaj; al-Dasuqi, Hashiya)

Given the sensitivity of the situation you describe and the scarcity of details you offer, I cannot offer a specific ruling for this case but only the following general advice:

1. In the specific scenario you mention, people must avoid rushing to judge someone’s marriage as invalidated on account of this act even if it has been clearly shown to have taken place. This is because (i) there is established difference of opinion on the matter, and (ii) annulling someone’s marriage, in this case the daughter-in-law and her husband (the father’s son), on account of someone else’s independent and unsolicited action seems highly unjust and problematic.

2. People must take care to avoid making insinuations against the father-in-law, the daughter-in-law, and other family members, or spreading gossip, hearsay, and the like.

3. If the father-in-law is known to be an otherwise upright person and there is no reason to suspect that something is amiss, people should leave things be, accept him at his word, and let him and the family manage the issue.

4. If there are reasonable signs and indications to suspect something unsavory and wrong taking place on the part of the father-in-law (e.g. abuse), this should be referred to the proper authorities. However, one should tread carefully before suspecting any such thing.

Because of the sensitivity of this situation, I would advise you to consult local scholars – people who are reliable, pious, have wisdom, and who have an understanding of family and community dynamics.

Salman

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.


Speaking in the Bathroom

Shaykh Farid Dingle is asked about the permissibility of speaking in a place that is built for relieving oneself such as a bathroom.

Question:

Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

What is the ruling in the Shafi‘i school about speaking beside the sink in a bathroom if one is far from the toilet?

Jazak Allah khayr.

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful, Most Compassionate.

Speaking in a place built for relieving oneself is permissible does not any name of Allah or any other noble name, and one is not in the process of relieving oneself. This is the position of Ibn Hajar al Haytami. According to a number of other late Shafi‘i scholars, it would still be offensive. (Al-Hawashi al-Madaniyya)

That said, given that the discussions of the Shafi’i on this topic revolve around ‘a place build for relieving oneself’ or ‘a filthy place’, are modern bathrooms, that are built both for relieving oneself and for washing, especially large ones that are kept clean—are they really the same as what our scholars were talking about?

The default is that they are. However, what we have seen and heard from some modern Shafi‘i scholars is that by being at a distance from the toilet itself, or by the toilet seat being down, they no longer consider a person to be in a place built for relieving oneself or “a filthy place,” and hence they do not find any problem in speaking or even saying Allah’s name or the like in such places.

So in answer to the question, the default is that either permissible or offensive, as mentioned above, to talk next to a sink in a bathroom with a toilet. However, it may well be simply permissible given the nature of certain modern bathrooms.

And Allah knows best.

Farid

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.


Validity of My Wudu and Prayer

Ustadh Tabraze Azam is asked about the limits of the face in relation to wudu and if one has doubts about this whether one should repeat prayers.

Question:

Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

I have recently noticed that the part to be washed in wudu includes the sideburns also and the skin between the hair on the sides of the head and the ear and also whatever is above it till just below the hairline. I haven’t been washing that part and it might have occurred to me on its importance but I don’t know why I seem to ignore that part and also I’m a frequent sufferer of waswas.

Do I now need to repeat all my prayers I have been praying with this wudu?

Would appreciate a fast response. Thanks.

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

The assumption is that you washed your face soundly, unless you are reasonably certain that you didn’t get the entire area.

The face is defined as the lengthwise area between the top of the forehead and the bottom of the chin, and from earlobe to earlobe in width. If you have a beard or sideburns, you need to ensure that you are washing up to your ears. Everything in that imaginary circular shape must be washed.

Practically, all you need to do is to cup water into your hands and then pour it over your face, ensuring to pass your wetted hands over the entire area. Ignore misgivings.

Please also see A Reader on Waswasa (Baseless Misgivings).

And Allah Most High knows best.

Wassalam,

Tabraze Azam

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.


Forced to Sit without Tahiyat al Masjid

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat is asked about the sunna of tahiyat al masjid and whether it is best to sit down during the iqama or to stand.

Question:

Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

I live in an area where there is only one mosque within walking distance and it is the local mosque affiliated to no organization or jamaat.

I have the same right over the mosque as they have, but when there is no time for tahiyat al masjid, I tend to stay standing until one or two minutes before the iqamah is given. Sometimes people will force me to sit down saying it is a sunna.

I want any unbiased islamic fatwa/hadith/Qur’anic interpretation from any faqih/mufti that will help me make wiser/less fitna-inducing decisions.

Jazak Allah khayr.

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

Sitting During the Iqama

It is better for you to sit. Firstly because it is disliked to remain standing whilst the Iqama is being given until the statement of “hayya ‘ala ’l-falah.” (Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar).

Getting On With People

Secondly, because the Messenger of Allah said, “The believer gets on [with people].” (Ahmad) Going against the regular practice of people causes friction, and a believer is someone who leaves a positive mark on people with a smile, a light joke, or an endearing gesture.

Doing something that rubs people the wrong way will make you a bullseye for a lot of glares and comments. This could leave you with an unpleasant feeling about the masjid and its people, or even put you off from going there.

It is best to overlook minor annoyances, or, even better, to deal with them with a sense of humor. We have all dealt with the uncles in the mosque who have a heart attack if someone walks in with their socks on, or if the Iqama is not called when the second hand reaches “12” on the clock – sometimes, even if the imam is not present!

In many cases these people are the ones who gave their hard-earned money to build the masjid in the first place, and they are particular about how things are done. Give them a smile, make a joke about something, and walk away having shown good character, honoured the elderly, and done something to please Allah. A pleasant sentence is charity (Bukhari).

Following a Weaker Position to Avoid Friction

Sometimes, it is better to do something sub-optimal in fiqh if it means not causing friction – unless it means that something impermissible will be done. An example of this is what to after the prayer ends.

The position of the Ḥanafī school is to ask for forgiveness (astaghfirullah) three times, and then say a short sentence of duʿa or praise (Allahumma Anta ’s-Salam, wa minka ’s-salam…) before immediately getting up for the sunna prayers. To sit and say one’s devotional prayers and praises is slightly disliked. Even reciting Ayat al-Kursi is deemed too long a wait. (Shurunbulali, Maraqi al-Falah).

However, in many mosques, the imam will sit and make a collective supplication after the prayer. Getting up at this point could cause offence§, so it is better to sit and do what everyone else does, and then get up for the sunna prayers.

The Point is Allah

Going to the masjid is about pleasing Allah. He should be focus of the entire endeavor. If a particular masjid resembles a concentration camp then it might be better to pray in another masjid, if possible, where you can focus on Allah.

May Allah make our hearts attached to the mosques and shade us with His shade on the day where there is no shade save His. Amin.

Abdul-Rahim

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.


What Is an Intoxicant?

Shaykh Jamir Meah clarifies the rulings regarding intoxicants and the moral responsibility of someone who is intoxicated.

Question:

Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

Shafi‘i jurists determined that liquid intoxicants are impure. What is the precise definition of an intoxicant and what are the symptoms of intoxication?

Do symptoms like blurred vision, dizziness, vertigo, weakness, anxiety, etc., denote something causing intoxication?

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

Thank you for your question.

It should first be noted that the impurity of a liquid intoxicant is a separate matter to the impermissibility of consuming a liquid intoxicant.

The Prophet, blessings and peace be upon him, said. “Every intoxicant is khamr, and every intoxicant is unlawful.” (Muslim) Therefore, an intoxicant can be a pure substance and still be prohibited.

Definition of Intoxication

To understand the definition of intoxication (al sukr), which is fundamentally the impairment of the intellect and senses, it is useful to define the intellect (al ‘aql).

The fuqaha have various definitions for the intellect, a common and simple one being “The innate faculty that distinguishes between the morally correct and the morally incorrect.” Others have defined it as “The innate faculty that knowledge of necessary matters are observed when the five senses are sound.”

The fuqaha have defined intoxication as “Disorder and confusion of the intellect accompanied by excitement and muddled speech.”

However, the prohibition of intoxicants is not limited to the specific wording of intoxication given in the definition above, but relates to any significant impairment of the intellect and senses, such as sedateness or absolute stupor.

These definitions and understanding are compatible with medical sources, which list seven stages of alcohol intoxication. For more information, please view this article.

The symptoms you mentioned, such as blurred vision, dizziness, vertigo, weakness, anxiety, etc., are all symptoms of intoxication, as they involve impairment of the senses and the emotions/intellect. They generally fall under stages three–four of intoxication.

Rulings on Intoxication

Depending on the stage of the intoxication, different fiqh rulings may apply. For example, if the person is at the sobriety or low-intoxication level (stage 1), or the euphoric “tipsy” level (stage 2), they would still be considered morally responsible (mukallaf) in many rulings. Weheras, if the person is beyond stage 2, then depending on the individual situation, certain rulings may or may not apply.

(Tuhfat al Muhtaj, al Yaqut al Nafis, Nayl al Raja)

I hope this clarifies the matter for you.

Warmest salams,

Jamir

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.


Proof for Zakat on Fiat Currency in Shafi‘i Fiqh

Shaykh Farid Dingle is asked about the proof for there being zakat on paper and other fiat currencies in the Shafi‘i school.

Question:

Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

Someone is arguing that there is only zakat on gold and silver, because books like al Tuhfa, Fath al Mugin say there is only zakat on gold and silver coins.

What is the proof for zakat on paper currency in the Shafi‘i madhhab?

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate.

Paying zakat on paper money is obligatory in the Shafi‘i school, contrary to what might be understood from some key works in the school.

The reason for this is that paper money has now become globally accepted as currency, so it is dealt with in all aspects.

Imam al Nawawi says, “Our scholars reject there being any [zakat or interest] in [non-gold and non-silver] coins because the legal reason for [such rulings] is that gold and silver are almost innately currencies (جنس الأثمان غالباً), in contradistinction to such coins, which, even if they do have currency in certain places, are not treated as currency in such a universal way.” (Majmu, Nawawi)

Such authoritative works in the Shafi‘i school that explicitly reject this are referring to a time period in which paper money was not yet fully treated as currency in the financial and economic world, and therefore their words must be interpreted in such a light.

Now that these alternative currencies do have currency everywhere, and are treated as currencies even more than gold and silver, they take the ruling of gold and silver in zakat and interest.

Today, without question, the rules of zakat and interest apply to paper money.

For more detail on this issue, please see this fatwa in Arabic issued by the Ministry of Fatwa of Jordan.

I pray this helps,

Farid

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.


When Can I Join a Congregational Prayer?

Answered by Shaykh Farid Dingle

Question: Assalamu alaykum

The Imam was in the tashahud position in the last raka when I entered the mosque. Just after I said the opening takbeer before I had a chance to join the imam in the tashahud position, the imam said the first of the finishing salams.

Can I join a congregation after only one finishing salaam has been said before the second one?

And what about my situation? Have I caught the congregational prayer?

Answer: Wa alaykum assalam,

The prayer is generally over once the imam utters the first salam, meaning saying assalamu alaykum. After that you could not join the prayer, because it is over.

In your scenario, you caught the group prayer because you joined before he said the first salams.

I pray this helps.

Wassalam,
[Shaykh] Farid Dingle

Shaykh Farid Dingle grew up in a convert family in Herefordshire, UK. In 2007, he moved to Jordan to pursue traditional studies. Shaykh Farid continues to live in Amman, Jordan with his wife and kids. In addition to continuing his studies he teaches Arabic and several of the Islamic sciences.

Shaykh Farid began his journey in sacred knowledge with intensives in the UK and Jordan (2004) in Shafi’i fiqh and Arabic. After years of studying Arabic grammar, Shafi’i fiqh, hadith, legal methodology (usul al-fiqh) and tafsir, Sh. Farid began specializing in Arabic language and literature. Sh. Farid studied Pre-Islamic poetry, Umayyad, Abbasid, Fatimid, and Andalusian literature. He holds a BA in Arabic Language and Literature and continues exploring the language of the Islamic tradition.

In addition to his interest in the Arabic language Shaykh Farid actively researches matters related to jurisprudence (fiqh) which he studied with Shaykh Hamza Karamali, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, and continues with Shaykh Amjad Rasheed.

Can a Woman Enter the Kitchen During Her Menses?

Answered by Shaykh Farid Dingle

Question: Assalamu alaykum

I entered in the kitchen and my mom shouted at me and said you cannot enter in the kitchen while in your periods.

Is it allowed for a women to enter in the kitchen at that time?

Answer: Assalamu alaykum assalam,

There is no harm in entering the kitchen, eating and drinking, or cooking while a women is menstruating.

The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) went to lengths to remove any stigma regarding menstruation, and any ideas that people had of a menstruating woman being physically filthy or impure: Sayyiduna Anas (Allah be well pleased with him) narrates that the Jews of Medina used to not eat with menstruating women or be in the same room as them, and that the Prophetic Companions ask the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and grant him peace) about that. Thereat, Allah Most High send down the verse: And they ask you about menstruation. Say, ‘It is harm, so keep away from wives during menstruation … [2:222] He explained to them saying, ‘Do with them any besides intercourse.’ [Muslim and others]

He (Allah bless him and grant him peace) would recite the Quran resting his noble head in his menstruating wife’s lap and he would sleep in the same bed as her. [Bukhari] He would even eat from the selfsame part of a piece of meat that his menstruating wife was just eating from. [Muslim]

All of this tells us that a menstruating woman is not filthy nor does she have to avoid any activities save certain intimate relations with her spouse, and certain acts of worship.

As for reciting the Fatiha, or anything else of Quran, one cannot do so until one finishes one’s menses and makes ghusl. This is because of the hadith in Tirmidhi and others, ‘Let no one in ritual impurity or menstruation recite anything of the Quran.’ [al-Talkhis al-Habir, weak] However, in the Shafi’i school, if you are reciting the Fatiha, or anything else of Quran, by way of a dua or seeking protection, it is permissible during menses. [Minhaj al-Talibin] So, for example, if it is one’s habit to recite the Fatiha over the food you cook so as to bless the food, that would be permissible.

I pray this helps.

Wassalam,
[Shaykh] Farid Dingle

Shaykh Farid Dingle grew up in a convert family in Herefordshire, UK. In 2007, he moved to Jordan to pursue traditional studies. Shaykh Farid continues to live in Amman, Jordan with his wife and kids. In addition to continuing his studies he teaches Arabic and several of the Islamic sciences.

Shaykh Farid began his journey in sacred knowledge with intensives in the UK and Jordan (2004) in Shafi’i fiqh and Arabic. After years of studying Arabic grammar, Shafi’i fiqh, hadith, legal methodology (usul al-fiqh) and tafsir, Sh. Farid began specializing in Arabic language and literature. Sh. Farid studied Pre-Islamic poetry, Umayyad, Abbasid, Fatimid, and Andalusian literature. He holds a BA in Arabic Language and Literature and continues exploring the language of the Islamic tradition.

In addition to his interest in the Arabic language Shaykh Farid actively researches matters related to jurisprudence (fiqh) which he studied with Shaykh Hamza Karamali, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, and continues with Shaykh Amjad Rasheed.

Can a Man Use Gold Utensils? (Shafi’i)

Answered by Shaykh Farid Dingle

Question: Assalamu alaykum

Can a man use something else that is made partially or entirely of gold?

Answer: Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh,

In the Shafi’i school, it is permissible to use gold or silver or silver utensils – such as clips or pens – if they are merely coated with a very thin layer of gold or silver — as is the case with most pen nibs or the like. The criterion for being thin is that were you to give it to a gold-/silversmith, they would not be able to melt off and collect any gold or silver. [Bushra al-Karim]

And Allah knows best.

Wassalam,
[Shaykh] Farid Dingle

Shaykh Farid Dingle grew up in a convert family in Herefordshire, UK. In 2007, he moved to Jordan to pursue traditional studies. Shaykh Farid continues to live in Amman, Jordan with his wife and kids. In addition to continuing his studies he teaches Arabic and several of the Islamic sciences.

Shaykh Farid began his journey in sacred knowledge with intensives in the UK and Jordan (2004) in Shafi’i fiqh and Arabic. After years of studying Arabic grammar, Shafi’i fiqh, hadith, legal methodology (usul al-fiqh) and tafsir, Sh. Farid began specializing in Arabic language and literature. Sh. Farid studied Pre-Islamic poetry, Umayyad, Abbasid, Fatimid, and Andalusian literature. He holds a BA in Arabic Language and Literature and continues exploring the language of the Islamic tradition.

In addition to his interest in the Arabic language Shaykh Farid actively researches matters related to jurisprudence (fiqh) which he studied with Shaykh Hamza Karamali, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, and continues with Shaykh Amjad Rasheed.

Waswasa and Ghusl in the Shafi‘i School

Shaykh Qasim Hatem is asked about the rulings on waswasa in the Shafi‘i school and how to handle misgivings in relation to purification.

Question:

Assalam alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

I require an answer according to the Shafi‘i school.

1. After taking a ghusl, when I rub myself dry with a towel body hair, and hair from my beard and head fall out. I also get very itchy so I usually scratch myself and this obviously results in some skin coming off even though it can’t really be seen. After this if I remember that I forgot to wet a certain part on my body in the ghusl, then will only washing that place suffice or must I wash the areas from where hair has fallen out and also where I’ve scratched myself?

I do suffer from waswasa and it badly affects my life. Would you say that the above are also waswasa? And, in such situations should I simply wash the area that was left out ignoring the places where hair has fallen out from etc., that I understand need re-washing?

2. Even during ghusl and wudu, if ever get an itch somewhere then I either don’t scratch it until I’ve finished or if I do scratch the place the I’ll repeat the washing of that place.

According to the rules of the book this understanding would probably be correct but I wanted to ask if I should ignore this because it seems like waswasa and delving into fine details.

Should I ignore these things?

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

I pray all is well with you. I’m sorry for the late reply. May Allah give you success in this life and the next. Amin.

1. Once you’ve made the intention for fard ghusl and washed the skin and hair on the body, then you don’t have to re-wash the parts you already washed, even if some of the skin or hair comes off before you wash the whole body. You just have to wash the part that you left out of the ghusl.

Yes, it does sound like a case of waswasa and you should just ignore the places where skin and hair had fallen out in this situation.

2. Once you wash the limbs of wudu in wudu, then you don’t have to return to them, even if you scratch them before you finish your wudu. This also sounds like it could be waswasa and would be better to ignore.

I hope this helps.

Wassalam,

Qasim Hatem