How Do I Hold to a Boycott When Close Relatives Ignore It?

Answered by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick

Question

We steer clear of some products and firms, whereas our close relatives do not.

When celebrating holidays, we share what we have, and it would be impolite to refuse our elders.

I am also concerned that our children are taught one thing at home but are shown something else at their grandparents’ place. What then should we do?

Answer

In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful and the Most Compassionate.

Stick to the boycott in your own home; don’t attempt to control your relatives, and don’t let this matter cause distance between you.

That is the key point; the rest is merely about the means of achieving it.

Ease the Tension

It is a personal decision rather than a religious obligation. It is correct to avoid indirect support of oppression, and scholars back this view.

However, those with a strong faith may still differ as to its extent, who it should apply to, and whether it is effective.

The situation is unlike that of pork or interest, where the rule is clear and applies to all.

This settles most of your worries, since your relatives are not engaging in any sin you need to remedy; they are merely making a different choice about something optional.

Your Responsibility Ends with Your Own Choices

Allah (Most High) says, “No bearer of burdens bears the burden of another.” [Quran 6:164] And He says, “O you who believe, take care of your own souls.

The one who goes astray cannot harm you when you are guided.” [Quran 5:105]

If you haven’t already, offer gentle advice once, then let it go. You should not try to stop something if it will cause more harm, and a voluntary boycott is not important enough to risk family tension.

Correcting elders again and again about something they are allowed to decide for themselves is actually the mistake to avoid.

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “He is not of us who does not show mercy to our young and honour our elders.” [Tirmidhi; Abu Dawud]

Shared Purchases and Hospitality

You are not responsible for what others buy. Eating what your relatives serve in their home is not a sin, and turning down an elder’s hospitality because of a brand is disrespectful compared to any small benefit you might gain.

Bring alternatives to family gatherings yourself so the family has them without anyone feeling targeted.

Teaching the Children Without the Contempt

Don’t tell your child that what their grandmother does is forbidden. If you do, they will either look down on someone they should honor, or think that what you taught them isn’t really true.

Instead, explain the difference to them in simple terms. Some things are always forbidden by Allah, no matter where or who you are. Other things are choices families make to do extra good, and good people can make different choices and still be good.

This is what our family has chosen. Their grandparents love them, and honoring them is always required.

A child who learns this difference at a young age will benefit from it throughout their religious life. But if a child learns to see relatives as wrongdoers, it will harm them in the long run.

Principle and Practical Guidance

The main principle is that everyone is responsible for their own choices, and you should never pursue an optional good if it means giving up something required. Keeping family ties and honoring elders are required.

So, keep the boycott in your own home. Don’t check what others buy. Accept hospitality with gratitude. Bring alternatives yourself.

Teach your children the difference between what Allah has forbidden and what your family has chosen. Most importantly, keep your intention sincere for Allah, because that is where the real reward lies.

And Allah (Most High) knows best.

[Shaykh] Irshaad Sedick
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Irshaad Sedick was raised in South Africa in a traditional Muslim family. He graduated from Dar al-Ulum al-Arabiyyah al-Islamiyyah in Strand, Western Cape, under the guidance of the late world-renowned scholar Shaykh Taha Karaan (Allah have mercy on him), where he taught.

Shaykh Irshaad received Ijaza from many luminaries of the Islamic world, including Shaykh Taha Karaan, Shaykh Muhammad Awama, Shaykh Muhammad Hasan Hitu, and Mawlana Abdul Hafeez Makki, among others.

He is the author of the text “The Musnad of Ahmad ibn Hanbal: A Hujjah or not?” He has been the Director of the Discover Islam Centre, and for six years, he has been the Khatib of Masjid Ar-Rashideen, Mowbray, Cape Town.

Shaykh Irshaad has fifteen years of teaching experience at some of the leading Islamic institutes in Cape Town). He is currently building an Islamic podcast, education, and media platform called ‘Isnad Academy’ and has completed his Master’s degree in the study of Islam at the University of Johannesburg. He has a keen interest in healthy Prophetic living and fitness.