Is Everything In My House Impure?


Question: I was careless in the preventing of spreading impurity, i.e. prostatic fluid. Now it has spread to almost all things in my house. Now on rainy days people come to our house with wet clothes and sit down, so their clothes become soiled. Also, our family goes to masjid, which makes the carpet of masjid impure. What should I do?
Answer:Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I pray that you can resolve this issue without any waswasa (baseless misgivings) and that you feel comfortable in your home again.

 

Certainty

A legal principle that you should know is that certainty is not removed by doubt. If you simply doubt that there is filth in some areas, you should ignore it, and you are not responsible to purify it.

If you are certain that there was prostatic fluid in a certain area, simply remove the color and smell of the spot, and then pour clean water over it. The spot is pure. Or if it is small, toss it in the washing machine.
Do not worry at all about the masjid carpet or other areas of your home where filth is not perceptible.

 

Pure

Also, semen is not considered filth in the Shafi’i school but is pure. I only recommended purification because it is considered filth in the Hanafi school.  Please see the links below.

https://seekersguidance.org/answers/purity/spreading-filth-while-asleep/
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/people-may-have-walked-on-filth-in-my-room-has-it-spread-all-over-my-house/
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/shafii-fiqh/clean-pre-sexual-fluid-floor-shafii/

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

What Are the Conditions Of a Nikah When Marrying a Christian Woman?


Question: What are the conditions to fulfill a marriage contract for marrying a Christian woman? Do divorced women in this case and in general require a wali or wakil?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I pray that Allah blesses your union and gives her the opportunity to learn about Islam and convert by the grace of Allah. It will make a world of difference regarding the children.

Please see this link for the minimum conditions for a valid marriage contract:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/minimum-steps-must-taken-marriage-valid/

A divorced or single Muslim woman must have a wali for her marriage, but there is room in the Hanafi school for her not to have a wali at all. I still highly encourage that you gain the consent of her father and your own. Parents deserve this much respect. May Allah give you both the best in this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Will Allah Forgive Me For Fighting With My Husband?

Question:  I fought often with my husband, and many times he slept away from me. I never refused intercourse, but he says I never encourage it. He says he is not happy with me. We have four children: two are mine, and two are step-children from his second wife. I was the third wife, but then he divorced the other two. I am 20 years younger than him, and now he is marrying again. I feel guilt and regret sinning by disobeying him. This is why he is after another girl. I cry daily, but I did stop fighting with him, even if I did not get my rights. Will Allah forgive me?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I commend you for not fighting with your husband anymore and for deciding to improve yourself. This is important for you as a Muslimah, for your relationship with Allah and not just for your husband.

 

Forgiveness

You ask if Allah will forgive you for fighting with your husband. The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “When half of the night or two-third of it is over. Allah, the Blessed and the Exalted, descends to the lowest heaven and says: Is there any beggar so that he be given? Is there any supplicator so that he be answered? Is there any beggar of forgiveness so that he be forgiven? (And Allah continues it saying) till it is daybreak.“ [Muslim]

And he said, Allah bless him and give him peace, “Allah, Blessed is He and Most High, said: ‘O son of Adam! Verily as long as you called upon Me and hoped in Me, I forgave you, despite whatever may have occurred from you, and I did not mind. O son of Adam! Were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky, then you sought forgiveness from Me, I would forgive you, and I would not mind. O son of Adam! If you came to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth, and then you met Me not associating anything with Me, I would come to you with forgiveness nearly as great as it.’” [Tirmidhi]

Can there be any doubt in your heart that Allah does not forgive the one who is sincere in his repentance?

 

Be the Best Wife That You Can Be

Consider this Prophetic hadith: It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, what type of wife is best? He said, ‘The one who makes (her husband) happy when he looks at her, and she obeys him if he instructs her to do something, and she does not do anything with regard to herself or his wealth in a manner of which he does not approve.'” [Musnad of Ahmad]

What your husband is doing requires a tremendous amount of patience and communication from you. You should clear the air with your husband before he marries her and try not to hate him for it. Considering that he has divorced twice before, he will probably marry again and again, until old age sets in. This is the pattern that I see.

 

Beautify Your Character and Learn

I pray that you remain on this path of transforming yourself, communicating better with your husband, and having beautiful patience. A Muslimah is strong, devoted, loving, and patient, but also she is firm and does not accept abuse. Please take the course linked below on marriage with your husband and apply the knowledge and tips that are taught. May Allah bless you and your family with the best in this world and the next.

https://seekersguidance.org/courses/marriage-in-islam-practical-guidance-for-successful-marriage/
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/i-no-longer-love-my-husband-after-he-married-a-second-wife/

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Should I Stay In My Arranged Marriage?

Question: A Muslim friend asked me this, but I did not have an answer. She had an arranged marriage only to make her mother happy as she was averse to the man. She tries to love him but cannot force herself to love. She is thinking of divorcing him, but she feels guilty about hurting her family and that they might hate her. She is lost.

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for being a kind friend whom she can talk to. I pray that she finds peace and happiness and is able to move forward.

 

Istikhara

I cannot tell her whether to go or stay, but I can tell her that istikhara is a formidable means to help to find her way. Tell her to follow her istikhara, she can find the details and etiquettes here:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/istikhara-the-prayer-of-seeking-guidance/
https://seekersguidance.org/articles/general-artices/the-reality-of-istikhara/

 

Give It a Shot

Personally, I believe that she should give it a shot. She is already married to him, and she is not miserable-I take this as a good sign. Love comes from two people showing kindness, respect, and doing little things for each other. Please tell her to start being loving cheerful and affectionate on her end, and he will eventually follow suit. She must know that having children will also allow them to bond and love each other more. The more she invests emotionally, the more returns she will have. Love never comes automatically, and she should not expect it to. She must also know that there is no guarantee that she will marry again, or even marry a nice guy again.

 

Walking Away

Walking away is possible and I counsel her to only do this if her istikhara is negative and she has discussed the matter with both families. To be honest, her grounds for requesting a divorce because of not loving him is not valid, so there would have to be something more serious. Is he giving her rights in the bedroom? Is he supporting her well? Please tell her to sit down, communicate with him, and open her heart up.

See this excellent advice as well:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/dont-feelings-wife-can/

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Which Child Takes Care Of the Parents?

Question: In a family where there are four children (all adults, two elder sisters, and two younger brothers), and the younger one of the sisters is married with children. Likewise, the younger one of the brothers is married with children. The father is deceased, and the mother is elderly, who is responsible for the financial and general care of the mother?
Answer:Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for asking this important question, and I pray the care of your mother will become easier on all of you and bless you all immeasurably for taking care of her.

 

Who Is Responsible?

The support of a widowed woman falls on her sons, equally, as her primary financial supporters even if one is wealthier than the other. As for the daughters, they must support their parents if they are able to and if their brothers are unable to support the mother. Please see the details here:
https://islamqa.org/hanafi/daruliftaa/7933
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/married-daughters-supporting-elderly-parents/

 

Goodness To Parents

The reward and rank of a person who takes care of his parents are tremendous and should be seen as such. The Righteous Caliph, ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib said, “Goodness towards (one’s) parents is the greatest obligatory act.”

And Allah, Most High, tells us, “Your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to your parents. If one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them a word of disrespect, or scold them, but say a generous word to them. And act humbly to them in mercy, and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy on them since they cared for me when I was small.’” [Quran, 17:23-24]

The rank of the mother is even higher than the father’s as we know that Paradise lies at her feet. I pray that you and your siblings can share in the blessings of caring for your mother and partake in the reward that will follow, by the grace of Allah. Please remember that Allah will send you someone one day to treat you in the same way that you treated your mother, so please love for her what you love for yourself, may you be blessed! Please see these link as well:
https://seekersguidance.org/articles/beneficial-knowledge/goodness-parents-reader/

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

How Can I Take Care Of My Parents?

Question: I am living with my husband away from my home country where my parents live. My father is ill, and my mother takes care of him. I am always stressed out in leaving them alone. Whom should I stay with, my parents or my husband? I am not able to support them financially unless my husband gives them money once in a while. I make dua for them but still feel like I am sinning.

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I empathize with your feelings and I understand the pain of leaving your parents alone when they are unwell and alone. I pray that you can contribute to finding a solution even if you cannot help yourself.

 

Living With Parents or Husband

There is no question that you should live with your husband. He has rights over you, you have rights over him, and you belong under the same roof. The rank of a husband is as great or greater than that of a parent because not only does the Shari’a oblige obeying him, but also society and families meet their demise when women are not supporting and respecting their husbands. See this link:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/is-it-sinful-to-disobey-to-my-husband/

 

Financial Support Of the Parents

A woman is obliged to financially support her parents if she earns, has her own money, and is able to earn. If you feel that your parents need your financial help, talk to your husband about you working part-time or him contributing regularly to your parents. Please see the details here in this article:
https://islamqa.org/hanafi/daruliftaa/7933

In the meantime, you should do what you can for your parents from afar. Call them regularly as you are already praying for them. Ask some of your friends or relatives who live near your parents to go over and check on them or cook for them. When you do go and visit, try to cook food and freeze it for them and clean the house. Most importantly, ask Allah to help you help them and He will send you a solution, by His grace. May Allah reward you for being concerned about your goodness to them and may He send you a child that will also care for you. Please see these links:

https://seekersguidance.org/articles/beneficial-knowledge/goodness-parents-reader/
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/should-i-listen-to-my-husband-or-my-mother/

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approve By Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Is It Permissible For My Wife To Excessively Leave the House?

Question: I do not like my wife going out of the house frequently without legitimate need and for excessive social gatherings. However, after having counseled her regarding this, I have accepted this in the greater interest of the marriage and hope that with time she will realize that it leads to ghafla (heedlessness) and possible harm. Recently this has extended to meeting her friends in late evenings. I told her this was not acceptable, but she refused and went anyway. I am extremely upset.

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I am sorry that your wife has decided to take on this approach. I truly feel that you are right and I pray that you can find a compromise with her that makes you both happy.

 

Marriage Course

There is no question that you both should take a course on marriage in Islam right here at Seekers in order to learn your rights and responsibilities in marriage. If one is armed with this knowledge, one does not seek to transgress these bounds and earn the displeasure of one’s husband, let alone Allah’s displeasure. See this link:
https://seekersguidance.org/courses/marriage-in-islam-practical-guidance-for-successful-marriage/

 

Balance

A man and wife should seek to balance out the household affairs. One should take care of earning finances while the other manages the children and household, upholding a religious atmosphere. A couple may help each other in the other’s sphere and both should work as a team, helping each other and respecting each other. It is the only way to live peacefully and think beyond ourselves. I recommend that you sit your wife down and gently explain this to her. Tell her that you are ready to compromise and let her socialize some, as long as she adheres to the main rules of the home, such as not going out at night, leaving a meal ready, or stays within curfew.

 

Bond, Compromise, and Respect

The best way to get your wife to agree with you is to show love, respect, and interest. Is she bored with you at home? Is there something new that you can do together? The best option would be to socialize together. Can you go out in the evening with her and meet a couple? Can you sit at a different table with your friend and she with hers? This way, she can still have fun, but you are together. Can you agree that she goes out once a week with her friend and she joins you for dhikr (remembrance of Allah) or a dars (lesson) once a week? This way you both are getting what you want. The most important thing is to not get angry. This usually leaves both parties resentful and blocks communication.

 

Turn To Allah

The best first step for anyone when they are hit by a test is to turn to Him, Most High, wholeheartedly, and worship Him to the best of their ability. Learn the basics of your religion as best as you can (right here with free Seekers courses), read some Qur’an with the meaning every day, even if only a few lines and surround yourself with positive religious friends and couples. My teacher once told me that there is no problem that giving charity does not take away. Try this and sincerely pray for Allah to guide both of you to what is best for you in this world and the next. See these links as well:

https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/can-demand-wife-dresses-modestly-work-less-outside-home-stop-meeting-irreligious-friends-change-baby-daughters-diapers/
https://seekersguidance.org/articles/prophetic-guidance/your-purpose-when-marriage-is-rocky/

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Are We Sinful Because Of Shaytan?

Question: Can you please explain the difference between Shaytan al-Nafs and the Shaytan? Also, are we sinful because of Shaytan, or are we simply inclined to sin?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. The questions that you ask are very important and understanding them is a good starting point for eliminating sin from our lives.

 

Four Enemies Of the Soul

Imam Ghazali mentions in Minhaj al-‘Abidin, on the Seven Tricks of the Shaytan, that the four enemies of the souls are the (a) Nafs (lower self); (b) Hawa (caprice); (c) Dunya (this world); and (d) Shaytan (the Devil). Whenever a man sins, which is part of his imperfect nature, the source is one of these four. So one must be keen to recognize that the enemies are always present and one must use one’s taqwa to fight off the current enemy when the thought of misdeed comes to one.

My teacher once explained the situation to me saying that one’s nafs is like a president who makes the decision, and the Devil is his closest advisor; they work hand in hand. He advised that must always ensure to give the nafs what he wants within limits, as long as the nafs give you what you want. For example, be diplomatic with the nafs, and let it indulge in a dessert or the like, as long as it gets up for tahajjud that night.

Please see this answer for the types of ego:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/the-meaning-of-nafs/
And this answer about the source of our thoughts:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/distinguishing-between-thoughts-from-ourselves-shaytan-and-allah/

 

Sinful Nature

Allah did create man as weak, greedy, and sinful, but this is not something to fear. Only the Prophets are free of sin, and Allah loves our repentance and expects it from his true believers so that He can forgive them. It is only through this process that one can purify oneself. It is the pure ones who will be successful as Allah, Most High, has told us in His book.

The Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Were you not to commit sins, Allah would create people who would commit sins and ask for forgiveness and He would forgive them.“ [Muslim]

Finally, please see this link on fighting the ego. May Allah give you the best in this world and the next.
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/imam-nawawi-on-fighting-the-ego-nafs/

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

How Do I Deal With My Sister-In-Law As We Live In the Same House?

Question: How do Interact with my sister in law? I live in the same house as my parents, and sometimes I am required to pick up my sister-in-law, who is a doctor, from her workplace when it gets late, as my brother lives in another country for his work. How do I manage this?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. It is true that you are in a tough spot. The best thing for you is to help your sister-in-law when it is necessary, as in the case that you mentioned, but maintain Islamic gender interaction all the time.

 

Gender Interaction

You will find the rules in the links below, do your best to follow them, and ask Allah to help you. The most important aspects are lowering your gaze, never being alone with her, never touching her, and never approaching her private quarters. The conversation should always be respectful but limited and cordial, even sitting together alone in the family room should only be limited to a few minutes.

Please see:

https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/what-are-the-principles-of-gender-interaction-in-islam/

May Allah reward you for your sincerity and help you achieve this delicate balance.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

Is Fasting On the 27th, 28th, and 29th Of the Lunar Month Sunna?

Question: Is there any voluntary fast on black days 27th, 28th, and 29th every month of the lunar calendar? 

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I have not heard or read anything at all about fasting during the phases of the new moon. Please see this link about fasting during the white days:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/why-prophet-fast-white-days-month/

And here is the du’a that is sunna to recite upon seeing the new moon:
https://seekersguidance.org/articles/general-artices/ramadan-mubarak-the-prophets-dua-when-the-new-moon-is-sighted/

However, if one wanted to fast on those days, without specifically ascribing it as a sunna of the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, one is free to do so.

I pray this helps.

[Ustadha]Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.