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Seek Refuge in Allah from Anxiety and Grief – Shaykh Salek bin Siddina

* Courtesy of Shaykh Salek Bin Siddina

I hope and pray to Allah that all of you are well, and that this pandemic has not preoccupied your thoughts. I hope that your worries have not led you to spend the precious moments of your time, which are the capital that a believer invests for his true future in the hereafter, squandered on listening to the news. Excessive news consumption leads people to become paranoid and anxious. This anxiety weakens them and makes the body more susceptible to illness. This is why the Prophet ﷺ taught us the well-known supplication as mentioned in an authentic hadith. It begins as follows:

Oh Allah, I seek refuge in you from anxiety and grief/depression.

The Prophet ﷺ goes on to seek protection from other things, but note that he began with anxiety and depression. Anxiety and grief are so harmful to the intellect and the body, yet, how much constant worry do you have streaming through constant negative news consumption. This leads to feelings of being overwhelmed, despite much of the news being sensationalized and exaggerated. In fact, the news contains obvious lies, as is clear to any sane person who reflects on it.

Avoid and beware of listening to the news too much. Instead, direct your focus toward Allah with repentance. Learn what Allah has made obligatory upon you and implement it, then Allah will lift the calamity from you.

Allah says “and whosoever has taqwa (God conscious obedience) of Allah, He will make for him a way out (of every problem).” Allah will remove all the pressure, anxiety, depression, and worry with taqwa. “and bless him from where does not expect.”

The great scholar Muhammad bin Ahmad Al Hudayki al- Soussi (who passed away 1189 A.H.) during the time of the plague said, “do not be excessive in your fear, instead, hold firmly to Allah”.

He said (may Allah have mercy on him):

“The slave of Allah should know that panic is not beneficial. Rather, it leads to destruction (in several ways). It leads the panicked one to neglect his/her requirements. It leads to wasting one’s life in delusions, which in reality have no fruitful outcome. What is upon him/her is to fulfill one’s duties as a believer and exerting the effort needed to completely rid oneself of one’s sins before one is taken to account for them. He/She should be ready for the journey back to and the facing of one’s Lord. Allah has already measured out all movements, stillnesses, appointed times (of death), provision and (the number of) breaths. A person will not die until he lives out the time appointed for him and (used up) his provision. “Allah will not delay (the death of) a being one’s its appointed time has come.” The only escape and refuge is (fleeing to) Allah. Being pleased with the decree of Allah is mandatory. Belief in the (divine) decree is mandatory, whether it is good/positive or bad/negative”.


What Should I Expect from Allah? Anxious and Bitter

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question: Assalamu alaykum

I am getting treatment for anxiety. I have prayed to Allah for so long that I ask, “when will Allah’s help come”? I know Allah is always near. I am angry and bitter at Him for my suffering because I try to please Him; the next day, something goes wrong; why would He allow this? Why doesn’t Allah facilitate things for me? I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t like to make du`a anymore because it is repetitive, insincere and nothing will change. What should my expectations be? I used to be such a positive about Allah, but I am now miserable and cynical. I feel upset when others are happy with wealth and marriage without being religious. Is my mental health issue making me ungrateful or lack iman? Does Allah love me?

Answer: Assalamu alaykum brother,

I pray that Allah gives you relief from your anger, and gives you guidance in all aspects of your life. I empathize with your feelings of frustration, sadness and emptiness.

I want to begin by asking you to do three things:

1) Trust in Allah
2) Don’t try to do business with Allah.
3) Keep a balance throughout your life of hope and fear

Trust

The basis of a relationship between a Muslim and his Lord is trust. We trust that He gives us what is best for us without knowing it. We trust that worldly events happen for a good reason that Allah, Most High knows. We trust that calamities befall us, trusting it is good for us, without knowing how or why.

Allah, Most High said, “Why should we not put our trust in Allah, when He has truly guided us to the very best of ways? Indeed, we will patiently endure whatever harm you may cause us. And in Allah let the faithful put their trust.” [Qur`an, 14:12]

This verse sums up the very essence of the believer. He stands as a soldier in the face of any challenge, has excellence all the way through, and trusts in Allah for the outcome. Not matter the outcome, and no matter the gravity of the situation, it always ends up being good for the believer. The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “How wonderful is the case of a believer; there is good for him in everything and this applies only to a believer. If prosperity attends him, he expresses gratitude to Allah and that is good for him; and if adversity befalls him, he endures it patiently and that is better for him.“ [Muslim]

Allah, Most High, tells us that the Prophet Ya`qub, said to his sons, after losing one of them for many years, “In Him I put my trust. And in Him let the faithful put their trust.” [12:67]

And to sum it all up, Allah, Most High, says, “Yes, indeed, everything in the heavens and the earth belongs to God, and He is enough for those who trust in Him.“ [Qur`an, 4:132]

Business with Allah

It is incorrect for a believer to worship his Lord in order to get something back from Him in this world. A Muslim’s expectation from Allah is for the hereafter (akhira) alone, and he should treat this world as a place only to worship and be tested. Allah, Most High, say ,“I did not create jinn and humans except to worship Me.“ [Qur`an, 51:56]

Praying to Him, or fasting, or giving charity is a way to increase blessings and forgiveness in one’s life, but it doesn’t make one immune to problems. The very notion of having problems is in line with the nature of this world. As a huge benefit, one gains wisdom, clarity, patience, experience and tactics to help with future problems. This is the good in the matter of the believer that we saw above.

Allah, Most High, says, “Do people think they will be left alone after saying ‘We believe’ without being put to the test? We tested those who went before them: God will certainly mark out which ones are truthful and which are lying.“ [Qur`an, 29:2-3]

So, from now on, try to worship Him, solely for His sake, because He deserves it, with utmost sincerity, and continue to pray for ease and well-being. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “[…] Do (good) deeds within your capacity as Allah never gets tired of giving rewards until you get tired of doing good deeds.“ [Bukhari]

Balance hope and fear

Fear your Lord and have hope in him. Some scholars have said it is better to fear Him in your youth and place hope in Him during your old age. Either way, have both equally your faith will be complete. It is not permissible in the shari`ah to feel protected from Allah’s devising (makr), or to have despair from his mercy (qunut/ya’s).

Know that Allah loves you and sees your worth. In the Qur’an, Allah states, in different verses, that He loves those who do good, those who are just, those who are God-fearing, those who repent and purify themselves and those who are patient. Aim to have these qualities and turn to Him to guide you. It takes years to purify oneself and gain this tremendous qualities, consider yourself at the beginning of the path.

Please continue to get help for your mental health issues, with medication, therapy and religion, I am certain that Allah will lift you up out of this. Don’t despair and Allah will help in the right time, from His infinity wisdom.

Wassalam,
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterwards, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

How Do I Calm My Worries?

Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah

Question: Are there any specific duas or Surahs I can recite to help me with my constant state of anxiousness, depression and paranoia that I have been feeling due to a multitude of heavy things and it’s been weighing me down.I just need a way of easing my difficulties.

Answer: Assalam ‘alaykum. Jazakum Allah khayr for writing into us.

If life gets overwhelming and we find ourselves always worried, then it’s a good time to take stock of what is happening in our lives, looking to see whether things could be done better, and most importantly, assessing where our relationship with Allah is.

Reading the Signs

Everything in life has a language and it takes patient observation and reflection to understand the language of each thing or event. When the physical body starts to become run down and needs a break, it shows signs of fatigue in order that the person may stop and take a break so the body can recover. If it is ignored, the body keeps throwing up other signs, such as ailments, in order to be heard.

Similarly, the mind and the soul throw up symptoms of distress when something is amiss and needs fulfilling. When one has constant stress, anxiety, anguish, or a feeling of emptiness, it is because the mind/soul is yearning for something that it needs. Sometimes the need is to simplify or prioritise one’s lifestyle choices, or one needs fulfilling intellectually, or one needs to connect spiritually, or perhaps all of these. It is because of these feelings that we so often turn to temporary ‘worldly’ solutions, such as food, wealth, entertainment etc. to fill the void.

Relationship with Allah

Of course, there is nothing more important than assessing one’s relationship with Allah Most High, as He is the One who has control of our affairs and the only One to change them.

Ensure the following:

1. That you are fulfilling your duties to Allah, particularly your daily prayers.

2. That you are avoiding sins in private and in public.

3. You have a daily reading of Quran each day, ideally with a translation if it is needed.

If possible, try to:

1. Wake up for Tahajjud, even for 10 minutes, pray two cycles of prayer and supplicate to Allah to lighten your burdens and ease your heart.

2. Depending on the causes of your conditions, seek out beginner courses on Islamic studies such as ‘aqidah, fiqh, seerah, and tafsir. It important to learn the religion properly, as knowledge shapes one thoughts and make one’s heart firm in one’s belief in Allah and the knowledge that he is the sole Doer of everything that happens to us.

Supplications

Recite the following supplications after each prayer and at Tahajjud time:


اللّهُـمَّ رَحْمَتَـكَ أَرْجـوفَلا تَكِلـني إِلى نَفْـسي طَـرْفَةَ عَـيْن، وَأَصْلِـحْ لي شَأْنـي كُلَّـه لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا أنْـت
O Allah, I hope for Your mercy. Do not leave me to myself even for the blink of an eye. Correct all of my affairs for me. There is none worthy of worship but You.
[Abu Dawud]

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ الْهَمِّ وَالْحُزْنِ وَالْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ وَالْبُخْلِ وَالْجُبْنِ وَضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ

O Allah, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being overpowered by men. [al Bukhari]

اللَّهُمَّ لَا سَهْلَ إِلَّا مَا جَعَلْتَهُ سَهْلًا ، وَأَنْتَ تَجْعَلُ الْحَزْنَ إِذَا شِئْتَ سَهْلًا
O Allah, there is no ease except in that which You have made easy, and You make the difficulty, if You wish, easy
[Ibn Hibban]

It is reported that Asma’ bint ‘Umays (may Allah be pleased with her) said, ‘The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said to me, “Shall I not teach you some words to say when you feel distressed?
اللهُ اللهُ رَبِّ لا أُشْـرِكُ بِهِ شَيْـئاً
Allah, Allah, my Lord, I do not associate anything with Him
[Abu Dawud]

Action

There are many ways to go about relieving anxiety and stress. I will try to mention the most useful:

Expressing your thoughts:
First, it would be helpful to sit down and get all the thoughts and anxieties expressed outwardly. This is the first step in clarifying what is wrong. Expressing the concerns outwardly distances one from their own thoughts so it is possible to get some perspective on the issues. It also allows one to trace more clearly what is going wrong and what can be done, and to make positive and constructive changes.

One can do this by first writing down all the things that is on one’s mind, in no particular order. Then categorise them into groups e.g. family, work, relationships, personal etc. Then go through each one and try to identify what it is that causes the worry about that particular thing.

Next to it, write down all the possible solutions within your control, including what could be done to simplify the issue. For things out of your control make a separate list and next to these, write down any ideas of people who you can consult regarding the issue for advice, such as parents, close friend, local scholar, or even a therapist.

Once you have done this with all the issues, try to put each in action one by one. Of course it may not be possible to resolve all issues so simply, and the anxieties and paranoia won’t disappear just like that. but it’s a good start and having it all written out means you can refer to it when you feel overwhelmed and remind yourself of the solutions.

Therapies: If the above does not work, it may be useful to seek treatment for a while, as this will again be way to express your thoughts outwardly, and perhaps gain some perspective. Constitutional homeopathy or other holistic therapies should also be very useful, particularly if you suffer from depression and paranoia and natural, valium medication is needed.

Included in therapy is ensuring you are getting adequate exercise and nutrition. You may want to try simple meditation or relaxation techniques (see below for book reference).

Please also seek out the company of good friends, and not spend too much time alone. Joining hobby clubs and other team activity groups may be a good idea, if possible.

Book References

I highly recommend the following books which should help with both understanding anxiety and depression as well as give many practical advice:

1. How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, by Dale Carnegie
2. The Complete System of Self-Healing – Internal Exercises, by Dr. Stephen T, Chang

Insha’Allah these two resources will provide ample use to you. May Allah grant you the very best of states and tranquillity of mind and heart.

Warmest salams,

[Shaykh] Jamir Meah

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007, he traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with a main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continues advanced studies in a range of Islamic sciences, as well as teaching. Jamir is a qualified homeopath.

What Should I Do About My Extreme Anxiety in Matters of Religion?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam alaykum

What should I do about my extrem anxiety in matters of religion?

I know I must ignore waswasa but sometimes it takes me almost 1 hour to perform a prayer.

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

You should read: The OCD Workbook, by Bruce Hyman, and work through it with a close friend or loved one. This should be supplemented with visits to a therapist so that you can be cured from this mental unbalance by the Grace of Allah Most High.

Try to pray with others, if reasonably possible, and under no circumstances should you leave the prayer altogether. Ask Allah Most High for facilitation and success, and with sincerity and steadfastness, you will get through this. Don’t lose hope.

Allah Most High says, “Say, ‘[God says], My servants who have harmed yourselves by your own excess, do not despair of God’s mercy. God forgives all sins: He is truly the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful.” [39.53]

Please also see: A Reader on Waswasa (Baseless Misgivings) and: How Do You Distinguish Between a Test From Allah and Punishment? and: Satanic Whisperings (Waswasa) as a Trial from Allah: Punishment or Blessing?

And Allah Most High alone knows best.

[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Tabraze Azam holds a BSc in Computer Science from the University of Leicester, where he also served as the President of the Islamic Society. He memorised the entire Qur’an in his hometown of Ipswich at the tender age of sixteen, and has since studied the Islamic Sciences in traditional settings in the UK, Jordan and Turkey. He is currently pursuing advanced studies in Jordan, where he is presently based with his family.

Seeking Out A Culturally-Sensitive Counsellor, by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Working for the SeekersHub Question and Answer service constantly reminds Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil about the importance of looking after our emotional and mental health.

So many Muslims around the world are struggling with different forms of psychological imbalance. To name a few: anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and so on. These inward fractures mirror the outward fractures we see in our troubled world today.
We live in stressful times, and many of our trials begin in our family homes. Many families lack the knowledge and training necessary to deal with these issues, hence, difficulties often escalate.
I feel like in almost every question I respond to, I encourage the distressed questioner and his/her loved ones to see a culturally-sensitive counsellor.
What does that actually look like? Does he/she have to be Muslim? Not necessarily. That would be ideal, but it’s not always possible.
Some aspects of a culturally-sensitive counsellor are:

Understanding

A counsellor who understands Muslims and what is important to us would be much more in tune with your needs. It’s exhausting to need to justify and explain your stance to an ignorant counsellor. Most people who are at counselling are already tired and stretched thin.

Open-minded

An open-minded counsellor is able to support you even if his/her values are different to yours. This applies to both Muslim and non-Muslim counsellors.

Empowering

Many people enter therapy believing that his/her counsellor will magically solve their problems. This does not solve the long-term issue of whatever caused the issue to begin with e.g. victim mentality, difficulty handling strong emotions etc.
The best kind of counsellor doesn’t tell you what to do. Rather, he/she will help you tap into your own values, and help you come to your own decision.

Good rapport

Trust your gut. If speaking to your counsellor makes you feel worse, then reflect on that. Is it because he/she is encouraging you to step out of your comfort zone? Or is it because she is being condescending? Not liking what a counsellor has to say can be a signal for growth, or it could be a sign of a mismatch. Be honest with yourself.

Empathy

The right counsellor feels for your pain, but does not do so from a place of sympathy and condescension. The right counsellor helps to hold you accountable for what you do, and believes in your ability to overcome hardship.

Finding the right counsellor

So now that we’ve covered some important qualities in a culturally-sensitive counsellor, how do we go about finding one? I wish I had an easy answer for that. The reality is that it’s a hit and miss process. Some counsellors will click with you, and others will not. Some people are able to find the right counsellor straight away, while others need to look for months, or even longer.
As with anything, start with asking Allah. Perform the Prayer of Need. When you do come across a potential counsellor, then perform the Prayer of Guidance. InshaAllah, Allah will make it clear to you.
To help you find the right counsellor for you, speak to Muslims who are working or volunteering in the mental health field. Ask your doctor. Do your research. Above all, place your trust in Allah, and in His promise that after every hardship, comes ease.
[cwa id=’cta’]

Resources for seekers

How Not To Let Stress Get You Down. Lessons From The Sunna – Dr. Rania Awaad

Ustadha Dr. Rania Awaad guides us through stress reduction strategies and techniques drawn from the way of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. Reducing stress in our lives can put our minds and bodies in a better state, God willing, to take advantage of the manifold spiritual opportunities life offers.


Ustadha Dr Rania Awaad has received a traditional license (ijazah) to teach Qur’anic recitation (tajwid) in both the Hafs and Warsh recitations from the late eminent Syrian scholar, Shaykh Abu Hassan al-Kurdi. In addition to completing several advanced texts of the Shafi’i school (madhhab), she is licensed to teach texts of Maliki jurisprudence (fiqh), literature (adab), and spirituality (ihsan). She is also a physician. Her medical interests include addressing mental health care concerns in the Muslim community, particularly that of Muslim women. Other on-going endeavors include the compilation of a manual addressing female-related medical issues from a fiqh-oriented perspective as well as a manual on raising Muslim children in the West.
[cwa id=’cta’]

Resources for seekers

Prophetic Cure to Remove Worry and Relieve Debt, by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Faraz Rabbani shares a prophetic narration (hadith) from the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, where he teaches one of the companions, Abu Umama (may Allah be pleased with him), an expression to remove his worry and relieve his debt.

The expressions is:

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْهَمِّ وَالْحَزَنِ وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْجُبْنِ وَالْبُخْلِ وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ غَلَبَةِ الدَّيْنِ وَقَهْرِ الرِّجَالِ

“Oh Allah I seek refuge in You from all worry and all hardship, I seek refuge in You from inability and laziness, I seek refuge in You from miserliness and cowardice, I seek refuge in You from being overcome by debt and from being overpowered by people.”

[cwa id=’cta’]

 

Can My Wife Divorce Me Because I Did Not Disclose to Her Before Marriage That I Have Anxiety?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: I had my marriage contract about 8 months back. At that time, I had been taking anxiety medication after experiencing symptoms of extreme restlessness. My anxiety is not severe and the medication I am taking has no effect on marital relations.

By not informing my wife prior to marriage, have I committed an injustice towards her, and does she have right to seek divorce?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah make things easier for you, and grant you the best possible outcome.

Anxiety

The first year of marriage is a huge adjustment, even in the most ideal of scenarios. I am sorry that your honesty with your wife has led to a rift in your marriage. May Allah reward you for being truthful with her, and may He soften her heart.

Reading between the lines, it sounds like your wife is unhappy that you did not tell her about your anxiety before you married her. On one hand, mood disorders are difficult to disclose to prospective spouses. There is too much stigma attached to them. However, the path of excellence would have been for you to discuss it with her, and to let her decide. Some people are compassionate and patient enough to take that on, while others are not. Wives who support their husbands (or vice-versa) through anxiety, depression, bipolar, and so on, are greatly rewarded. However, not everyone has what it takes.

I suggest that both of you see a compassionate marriage counsellor to help you work through this issue. If you disclosing that you have anxiety is enough for your wife to want to seek divorce, then you have bigger issues to deal with.

I encourage both you and your wife to complete this course Islamic Marriage: Guidance for Successful Marriage and Married Life. This course will teach you about the spirit and the law behind a successful marriage.

Support

I pray that Allah grants you complete healing. Have you considered seeing a therapist, counsellor, or psychologist? Medication has its role in treating anxiety, but other strategies such as mindfulness, progressive muscle relaxation, hypnosis and so on can also support you on your journey of recovery. Please consider consulting a naturopath who can assist you in improving your diet. There is a strong link between gut health and overall wellbeing.

Please perform the Prayer of Need regularly in the last third of the night and ask Allah for help. Reach out to trustworthy friends and family members who can help you.

Be honest and kind with yourself. Having anxiety is something that you will need to manage, until Allah grants you complete healing. That may happen quickly, or it may not. During times of stress, it is normal for your anxiety to flare up. Marriage is full of up and downs, and childrearing, even more so. I pray that your wife softens her stance, and is able to have sincere concern for you.

There are many, many Muslim spouses around the world who are supportive, loving, and forgiving when their loved ones struggle with mood disorders. This is but a manifestation of Allah’s Mercy for His creation. Please remember that you are more than your anxiety – this is your trial, but it does not define who you are as a person.

Istikhara

“And obey Allah and His Messenger, and do not dispute (with one another) lest you lose courage and your strength depart, and be patient. Surely, Allah is with those who are As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.).”
[Qur’an, 8:46]

If your wife’s loss of trust in you is something that cannot be healed despite your best efforts, then perform the Prayer of Guidance to help you decide if divorce is best for you. Even though it is hated to Allah, it is still permissible. Look for what is made easy: if Allah turns her heart towards you, then it is your sign to stay married to her. If she remains unwilling to move forward with you, then seek advice from a trustworthy local scholar before deciding to divorce her.

This trial is painful, but also a way for you to attain patience. I pray that Allah facilitates whatever is best for you in both worlds, and rewards you abundantly for being patient with His Decree.

Please refer to the the following links:

A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah
Positive Spiritual Thinking: Choosing Mindfulness (taqwa) and Embracing Trust (tawakkul) by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
What Are Some Prophetic Supplications That Can Help Me Deal With Trials in My Life?
Coping With Tragedy – Dr. Umar Faruq Abd-Allah

Wassalam,
[Ustadha]Raidah Shah Idil

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers through Qibla Academy and SeekersHub Global. She also graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales.

Amazing Supplications When Faced With Stress and Anxiety – Habib Kadhim

Habib Kadhim al-Saqqaf advises us on how we should deal with stress and anxiety.

How do we respond to everyday stress?

Depending on where the stress originates from, the response differs. Generally, we must fill our hearts with a good opinion of Allah. Keep reminding yourself that your Lord has given you the greatest thing, which is the deen. Place full reliance on Him, and He will give you everything you desire. Always say Alhamdulillah (praise be to Allah). Always look to the future with confidence in the fact that whatever He gives, is going to be good for you in this world and more importantly, in the akhira (afterlife).
After having done all these,  say:
حَسْبُنَا اللَّـهُ وَنِعْمَ الْوَكِيلُ
Hasbunallah Wa Ni ‘mal Wakeel
Allah is sufficient for us, and He is the best disposer of affairs.(3:173)
Perform some good deeds, so that you’ll feel stable before the feeling happens.

How do we deal with anxiety?

The treatment for this, is to first to have a good opinion of Allah, since He has given you Islam, and made you of the Ummah of Muhammad, Allah bless him and give him peace. He is not going to do something bad to you.
And Allah says, “I am of the opinion that my servant has of me.” (Sahih Bukhari). If you draw near to him by a hand span, He will come to you by an arm’s length. So how can you have a bad opinion of your Lord? Having this perspective can greatly reduce anxiety over something which hasn’t yet happened. And then if anything does occur, then say to yourself, “I have a 100 ways to overcome this, I have the adhkaar (the remembrance of God) and the salawaat (Blessings on the Prophet).” These are all tried and tested, and if a person says these with sincerity, Allah will remove all these difficulties from him.
Other mighty prayers include:
لاحول ولاقوة الا بالله
La ḥawla wa la quwwata illa billah
There is no might or power except with Allah.
 رَبِّ اشْرَحْ لِي صَدْرِي وَيَسِّرْ لِي أَمْرِي
Rabbi-‘shrah li sadri wa yassirli amri
My Lord, expand for me my breast [with assurance] And make easy my task. (20:25-26)
This prayer has a great reward. It is a noble verse of the Qur’an, and beneath it are seas of knowledge. It will expand your chest and bring joy to you. If you have problems, you won’t necessarily see them as something great, but rather as something light.


Resources for Seekers

Because I Committed Zina in the Past, Will I Ever Get Married to a Good Muslim Man?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: I met a good Muslim guy. He asked me if I had been with anyone else, so I told him the truth. He ended our relationship. He said he won’t change his mind. Do I wait for him?

I get anxiety attacks because I feel like no good Muslim guy would want me. Will I ever marry a good Muslim man?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.

Disclosing sin

Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace be upon him) said, “All my Community will be excused except those who are blatant. And it is from blatancy for one to perform an act at night and to wake up and tell something that they did such-and-such, while Allah had concealed it for them. They slept under the cover of Allah, and they rended Allah’s covering from themselves in the morning.” [Bukhari and Muslim]

It is actually impermissible for you to reveal past sin. It is blameworthy for him to have asked you about your past. You have made your repentance, and repentance gives you a clean slate. Moving forward, please do not tell anyone about your past zina. You are permitted to deny having a past.

If you were previously married and currently divorced, then it would be obligatory upon you to tell a prospective husband the truth about your marital status. Marriage and divorce are halal, and can be spoken about. Zina is a major sin, and must remain hidden.

Moving forward

To help give you closure, please perform the Prayer of Guidance up to seven times about what to do. Observe how life unfolds to give you an idea of what is best for you. If this young man does not contact you and moves on, then that is a sign for you to move on too. If he contacts you again and is willing to give you another chance, then that is a sign for you to pursue marriage. Don’t wait for him after you have completed seven istikharas.

Dear sister, please be honest with yourself. He has already made it clear that he is devastated and will not change his mind. This is heartbreaking for you, so please do what you need to to heal. Grieve your loss, and after that, I encourage you to move forward and trust that Allah has someone even better in store for you. Nothing is difficult for Him.

Anxiety attacks

Make dua for Allah to cure your anxiety. See a culturally-sensitive counsellor to help you learn coping strategies. Also consider downloading this hypnosis track: Overcome Fear and Anxiety.

Marriage

If Allah wills, then it is absolutely possible for you to marry a loving and righteous Muslim man. Have a good opinion of your Merciful Creator. Please do your part by making regular istighfar, guarding your prayers, giving in charity, performing the Prayer of Need and asking for a loving and righteous spouse. I encourage you to save up money to perform umrah and Hajj. Ask Allah for everything that you wish.

When registration reopens, I encourage you to do this course Islamic Marriage: Guidance for Successful Marriage and Married Life. This course will give you a clear idea of how to pursue marriage, and the spirit and law behind a successful Islamic marriage.

Trust in Allah

Place all your hopes in Allah and trust that He will never let you down. His Decree overcomes all of our weaknesses.

I pray that Allah grants you the blessings of a loving, righteous husband and children who will be the coolness of your eyes.

Please see:
Can We Deny Having Committed Sins After We’ve Repented From Them?
Some Prophetic Supplications for Difficulty and Distress
A Reader on Tawba (Repentance)

Wassalam,
Raidah

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani