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Single Muslims – Why Can’t We Get Married?

Single Muslims

Why are single Muslims having difficulty finding a spouse? What do they bring to the table when looking for an ideal marriage? What is the Islamic backdrop to this search?

This open, flowing discussion took place in SeekersHub Toronto, in the company of Imam Tahir Anwar and Shaykh Faraz Rabbani. Chaired by Dr Bano Murtuja.

..but first, further resources for single Muslims:

Listen to the Podcast now

“Only The Dead Stand Still” – Dr Bano Murtuja on Muhammadan Activism

Dr Bano Murtuja on Muhammadan Activism

Bano-MurtujaDr Bano Murtuja argues that being an ‘activist’ is the natural state of a believer, the one Allah ‘brings to life’ – and being alive is to change as necessary. However, Dr Bano warns that we have collectively failed in this responsibility. Find out what she means in the above video.

Dr. Bano is a co-founder and the first managing director of SeekersHub Toronto. Her training includes successfully completed the three-year Micro Madrasa Program in the United Kingdom, with direct study under Shaykh Ibrahim Osi-Efa, Ustadha Nagheeba Hayel, and Shaykh Haroon Hanif.

Dr Bano is the mother of several young children and is the Managing Director of Nader Khan’s First Spring Records company. She is a contributor to the SeekersHub Answers service and has extensive experience as a counselor and mentor, as a community leader and activist and is an experienced public speaker. She is an engaging and effective teacher, whose intelligence, insight, commitment, and concern have benefited countless troubled and sincere souls.

Dr Bano Murtuja’s writings on SeekersHub include

Resources for seekers:

Do You Want to Learn More?

Consider taking an online course with SeekersHub. It’s free for everyone, anywhere in the world. There are over 30 titles to choose from, including Understanding the Prophetic Way: Imam Nawawi’s 40 Hadith Explained.

The Story of Islam – The Prophet’s Life by Dr Bano Murtuja

 Introduction to Dr Bano Murtuja

Dr. Bano is a seeker of knowledge who has successfully completed the three-year Micro Madrasa Program in the UK, with direct study under Shaykh Ibrahim Osi-Efa, Ustadha Nagheeba Hayel, and Shaykh Haroon Hanif. In addition she has been a student of Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.

She has invaluable experience as a counselor and mentor; as a community leader and activist; and is an experienced public speaker. She is an engaging and effective teacher, whose intelligence, insight, commitment, and concern have benefited countless troubled and sincere souls.

Over the last few years, she has also been answering questions for the Seekers Guidance Answers service.

Original article sourced here.

Islam and Purpose: Setting Priorities Straight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBLiU0t4sYw

SG Answers By Dr Bano Murtuja

Parental Demands Scared Away Potential Spouse

Difficulty Getting Married Leading to Resentment and Depression

Dealing with In-Laws With a Different Islamic Perspective

My Non-Muslim Parents Get Upset When I Wear the Hijab

Should I Let My Daughter Spend Time With Her Non-Muslim Father?

How Do I Encourage My Siblings to Become Muslim?

Dealing with In-Laws With a Different Islamic Perspective

Answered by Dr. Bano Murtuja

Question: I have been engaged for a year to a man who I really like. However, his father and stepmother have been a problem within our relationship. They truly dislike my family have accused us of following false Sheikhs, of engaging in Kufr because we do tasbih, or we say our dua’a out loud etc. They accuse of of bid’a and have negative opinions of Muslims unlike them. My fiance has defended us against them, but he seeks to please them and he doesn’t put his foot down hard enough. What should I do?

Answer
: Wa’laikum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakathu,

I pray this finds you in the best of health and states.

May Allah (Exalted be He) bless your union with all that is good, and make it a means to gain closeness to the All Loving and His beloved (upon him be peace and blessings).

Relationships with in laws can often be difficult to navigate, particularly if their understanding of Islam is different from one’s own.

The best example we have for dealing with those who disagree with us is in the actions of the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him). He (Peace and blessings be upon him) was unfailingly noble in his treatment of those who disagreed with him. He (Peace and blessings be upon him) would increase in excellent character the more he was subjected to bad character. This beautiful trait turned many hearts towards him.

It is not necessary for your future in laws to be in agreement with your approach. InshaAllah through you demonstrating good character, they will eventually come to accept and respect that this is simply a difference of opinion. As long as their opinion does not impact your ability to perform the obligatory, the best way to approach it is not to argue, rather, wherever possible remain silent and maintain the best of etiquette with them.

With regard to communicating with your future husband, it is important that there are boundaries set as to how you are treated. That said, asking him to do so in absolute terms may in the long term do more harm. If possible, explain to him how their opinion makes you feel and the course of action you feel is best, but at the same time be open and understanding of the fact that he knows his parents best and will be able to navigate that relationship with this understanding.

Your continued patience and good character will, inshaAllah, increase you in your relationship with your future husband.

May you be granted ease and facilitation in all of your affairs.

Ma’salam

Bano

Dr. Bano Murtuja is the Managing Director of SeekersHub Toronto, unique learning foundation that connects transformative knowledge and spirituality with actionable community service and social engagement. It is open and welcoming to individuals of all ages, religious beliefs and walks of life, with equally diverse programs and activities offered at no cost.