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Husband in Conflict with In-Laws

Ustadh Farid Dingle gives advice on how to heal relations between a husband and his in-laws, improve communication, and how the Fatiha is an excellent dua.

Question:

Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

I have been married for 7 yrs. Masha Allah everything has been fine but suddenly my husband’s behavior towards my family changed. He thinks all my family members are selfish. An incident occurred a year ago, but the fault lies on both sides. Now he has broken all the relationship with my family. Please help me and suggest some dua for mending our relationship.

 

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

Dear questioner,

Communication is the key. Have your husband explain very clearly and openly why he is cutting ties. Try to have him sit down with one of your family members and explain what he disapproves of. Maybe there is some valid reason?

At the end of the day, if you can still see your family, as long as he doesn’t say anything bad about them and is not disrespectful to them, he doesn’t have to visit them or be close to them.

Also try to see if this has anything to do with your own relationship. Is he saying this to get back at something you did? Try to get him to open up.

The Fatiha is an excellent dua. We say it at least 17 times a day, but we don’t really mean it. Focus on meaning what you say.

I pray this helps.

Farid

 

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.


Should I Follow a Fast Imam Even if It Entails Not Reciting the Fatiha? [Shafi'i School]

Answered by Ustadh Shuaib Ally
Question: My question is in regards to reciting surah fatiha and following the imam. I was reciting surah fatiha behind the imam but the imam was so fast that when the imam was in ruku, I was still reciting fatiha. Is my prayer valid?
Answer: Assalamu ‘Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Baraktuhu,
Yes, in the Shafi’i school, your prayer is valid in the scenario you described.
Falling Behind Because of the Fatiha
A follower may fall behind the imam for a reason related to the Fatiha (for example if the follower recites slowly, or the imam quickly, and therefore hasn’t completed the Fatiha before the imam moves into ruku’).
In such a scenario, his falling behind is temporarily overlooked because he is performing an obligatory part of the prayer. He can attempt to finish the Fatiha and must catch up to the imam before the imam completes three integral units of prayer (rukn;arkan) that are (a) complete; (b) actions (c) long, not short. If he does not reach the imam before this, his prayer becomes invalid.
Example: The follower remains standing to complete the Fatiha, while the imam continues with his prayer. When the imam completes three long rukns (the ruku’, and two prostrations), then moves up from the second prostration, the follower’s prayer becomes invalid if he hasn’t caught up to the imam.
In case he does not catch up, to ensure that his prayer is not rendered invalid, the follower can consider his rak’ahincomplete. He can return to following the Imam, and make up the missed rak’ah at the end of the prayer.
Falling Behind for Another Reason
A follower may fall behind for another reason unrelated to the Fatiha, such as spending time doing something that is not obligatory (like recommended supplications in the prayer).
In this scenario, falling behind is not overlooked. His prayer becomes invalid if he falls behind by two integral parts of prayer that are (a) complete; (b) actions; (c) either short or long.
Example 1: The imam performs ruku’, returns to the standing position, then moves towards prostration, while the follower is still in the original standing position. In this case, his prayer becomes invalid, as there are two completed rukns between him and the imam: one long (ruku’), and one short (standing after the ruku’).
Example 2: The imam performs the second prostration, then stands and recites, then moves towards ruku’, while the follower is still in the sitting between two prostrations. In this case, his prayer becomes invalid, as there are two completed rukns between him and the imam, although here both are long (the second prostration and the standing following it).
Falling Behind by One Rukn
A prayer is not invalidated by falling behind by one rukn, but falling behind is nevertheless disliked, as one of them main purposes of praying in congregation is to follow the imam.
Source: al-Hawashi al-Madaniyyah
Shuaib Ally

Praying Behind a Fast Imam

Answered by Shaykh Faraz A. Khan

Question: Is one’s prayer valid if he/she is not able to completely recite Surah Fatiha in 3rd or 4th rakat behind an imam because he went to ruku early?  I noticed that many imams recite surah fatiha in loud part (first 2 rakahs) slowly but during 3rd and 4th rakah (silent), they recite fast and I am not able to complete it at normal pace. I have to rush without thinking to complete. This also happens in the final tashahud so I am not able to complete salams on the Prophet PBUH. Is my prayer valid? If I know someone who is going to pray quickly, is it permitted for me to allow him to lead or should I lead the prayer?

Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

I pray this finds you in the best of health and faith.

Your prayer is valid in the scenarios you describe.

Fatiha Behind the Imam

In the Hanafi school, it is sinful to recite the Fatiha behind the Imam in any raka of any prayer: rather, the follower simply remains silent.

So there is no problem if the imam recites Fatiha quickly.

The Final Tashahhud

Scenario One

If the imam makes his closing salams, the follower should make sure he finishes the tashahhud itself (up to the shahada: Ashhadu an laa ilaha illa Allah, wa ashhadu anna Muhammadan abduhu wa rasuluh), as reciting up to that point is wajib. He should then also make his closing salams.

The reasoning is that, although immediately following the imam is wajib, one does not leave a current wajib for another one, so one does not miss the wajib of finishing the tashahhud for the wajib of immediately following the imam in his closing salams.

Scenario Two

Once the follower has finished the tashahhud itself, if the imam then makes his closing salams, the follower should stop reciting and make his salams with the imam, since sending the blessings upon the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and the final du`a of the prayer are both sunnas, while it is wajib to immediately follow the imam, and one does leave a sunna in order to fulfill a wajib, which is of higher priority.

Who Should Lead the Prayer

The basic criteria for this is not how fast or slow one prays, but rather who best knows the legal rulings of the prayer and who has more Qur’an memorized.

[Shurunbulali, Nur al-Idah; Ala al-Din Abidin, Hadiyya Ala’iyya]

And Allah knows best.

wassalam

Faraz

Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani