Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

October 27, 2023 5 mins

Am I Committing Zina If My Wife Hasn’t Converted Yet?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil Question My wife is Hindu, and I am a convert to Islam. While she respects Islam, but she said she has no wish or inclination ever to convert. Whenever we speak about it, she is adamant about the religious and spiritual freedom of our children to choose their religion […]
June 28, 2022 4 mins

Reader on Parents Rejecting Suitors for Marriage

In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, then marry to him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil […]
June 2, 2022 3 mins

Reader on Women’s Ranks in the Hereafter

In the Name of Allah, the Merciful and Compassionate “The inhabitants of Paradise, on that Day, will be happily busy. They and their spouses, in shades, reclining on couches. They will have therein fruits. They will have whatever they call for. Peace—a saying from a Most Merciful Lord.” [Quran, 36:55-58]   A question that is often […]
November 4, 2020 4 mins

Cultivating Patience Through Your Young Children

Trust in Allah Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil explores how having small children can build patience and help you get closer to Allah. When you are a mother to young children, one crucial virtue is developed over the slow and inexorable passage of time – patience. With little ones, everything is slowed down. They need so […]
March 12, 2019 4 mins

Cultivating Gratitude in Our Lives – Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil explores ways for us to begin cultivating gratitude in our day-to-day lives. Allah Most High says in the Qur’an; “Verily, We sent (Messengers) to many nations before you (O Muhammad). And We seized them with extreme poverty (or loss in wealth) and loss in health with calamities so that they might […]
February 16, 2019 8 mins

How Do I Deal with My Abusive, Toxic, and Mentally Ill Mother

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil Question I am a Muslim woman in her early twenties, living with my parents and I have always had trouble in my household. I have grown up in a toxic and violently abusive environment with consistent emotional, verbal and psychological abuse, and at many times physical abuse. I am […]
January 26, 2019 6 mins

I Struggle with Thoughts of Disbelief and Suicide

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil Question I struggle with thoughts of disbelief and suicide. I have non-Muslim family members and feel so guilty when I spend time with them during Christmas and so on. I feel ashamed about telling them I am Muslim, because of ISIS. I have so much uncontrolled anger because I […]
November 30, 2018 6 mins

Am I Wrong for Not Sleeping with My Porn-Addicted Husband Until He Stops?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil Question I have been married for 21 years. My husband has been addicted to porn since before we got married. I did not know this until a few years into our marriage. I have tried to talk to him several times but he gets angry and defensive. He tells […]
August 4, 2018 3 mins

My Husband’s OCD Is Troubling Me. What Do I Do?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil Question My husband is obsessed with cleaning the floors of our apartment nearly every day. It is driving me nuts! He is obsessed with having the apartment spotlessly clean. I can understand that, but it is going too far. If I don’t clean everything the way he wants, he […]
May 29, 2018 4 mins

Can I Make Dua That Allah Sends My Boyfriend to Me as My Future Husband?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil Question I am a young girl who has had a relationship with a guy for over 2 years, but we broke up. I know that everything is already written for us and we have to put faith in Allah, as He knows best. However, I don’t like the idea […]
March 6, 2018 3 mins

My Parents Are Always Fighting. What Do I Do?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil Question I am so embarrassed by my parents’ fighting – it is so loud that even the neighbors can hear. They’ve been fighting for years, and because they’re old now, it’s really bad for their health. One morning, I got very angry and just exploded at them. I know […]
February 15, 2018 3 mins

Is Marriage the Solution to My Masturbation Problem?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil Question Is marriage the solution to my masturbation problem? Answer I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us. Marriage May Allah help you along your journey towards healing, and bless you with the best means possible. Marriage is a tremendous responsibility and […]
December 24, 2017 4 mins

My Wife Had an Affair. We Have a Young Daughter. What Do I Do?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil Question My wife had an affair with her co-worker, but she refuses to quit her job. When I check her phone location, she is not where she says she will be. Ours was a love marriage – she was Christian before she embraced Islam. We have a young daughter, […]
June 11, 2017 3 mins

My Parents Refuse My Choice of Spouse Because He Is Married. What Do I Do?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil Question I want to marry a married man with 3 children and have been trying for 4 years to persuade my family to give me their blessings. They refuse to because they say it is dangerous to marry a man who is already married. I don’t want to lose […]
May 4, 2017 2 mins

Can I Marry Without the Consent of My Parents?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil Question I met someone I would like to marry, but my parents do not approve because he does not have a Bachelor’s degree. I have spoken to my parents and grandparents, but they are not supportive. Can I marry without my family’s permission? Answer I pray this finds you […]
April 19, 2017 1 min

Learn to Live – 04 – Interview with Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

In this episode, Ustadha Raidah tells us about the reasons why she went on a  path of seeking sacred knowledge. She talks about the benefits of moving to Amman, Jordan for her studies. Ustadha Raidah also talks about where and how she was brought up, relating this to why the prioritization of sacred knowledge is […]
February 1, 2017 3 mins

What Will Women Receive in Paradise? I Feel That They Are Left Out.

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil Question I feel that women are not part of the Quranic narrative besides descriptions of “wide-eyed virgins” for male believers. What do women get in Paradise? Answer I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for seeking out clarity on this matter. Quranic Narrative “Indeed, the Muslim […]
October 4, 2016 3 mins

How Should I Deal with the Lack of Intimacy in My Marriage?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil Question Since the conception of my child, my husband has refrained from any intimacy with me. It has gotten to a point where we haven’t shared any marital relations for several years. It’s frustrating and depressing for me. He says that he doesn’t have those feelings for me and […]
August 12, 2016 4 mins

What Should I Do with a Husband Who Can’t Satisfy Me Sexually?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil Question I have been married for a decade, my husband is physically unable to sexually satisfy me, and he does not want to seek medical advice. He also doesn’t practice. What should I do? Answer I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for seeking out clarity […]
July 9, 2016 2 mins

How Do I Interact With My Sisters-In-Law?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil Question What does the Shari’a command us regarding the interaction between a man and his sisters-in-law? How does one manage oneself in situations where interaction is unavoidable due to South Asian cultural settings? Answer I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for seeking clarification on this […]
May 7, 2016 4 mins

How Should I Deal with My Unfaithful Husband Who Watches Porn?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil Question I caught my husband with pornography on his computer, and suspect he is having an affair with a woman on a dating website. When I confront him he gets angry. I am scared of being a single mother despite having a good job. What do I do? Answer […]
April 25, 2016 2 mins

I Cannot Stop Drinking Alcohol and Committing Adultery. What Do I Do?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil Question I feel lost in my sins, and am desperately trying to crawl out from under them. I have committed a number of sins such as drinking alcohol and committing adultery. I always fall back into these patterns. What can I do to overcome my weakness? Answer I pray […]
March 19, 2016 3 mins

Is It Permissible for Me to Leave My Family Home and Live on My Own as an Unmarr...

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil Question I have brothers who have moved out and have children. Whenever they come and visit my parents and me they behave in an impolite and reckless way. I am financially supporting my parents, they are not. Is it permissible for me to buy my own home in order […]
December 30, 2015 4 mins

How Can I Deal With My Difficult Mother in a Respectful Way?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil Question My mother has never been good at expressing her love towards me. Her behaviour has caused me a lot of pain. She forced me to marry a guy just because it would look good in the eyes of people and that marriage ruined my life. She lies all […]
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