Posts

Angry During Pilgrimage

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question: I got angry with my mother during the Hajj. I don’t know what happened to me, but I was so angry, and I could not control myself. I am crying every night after that. Can you please tell me if there is any way to ask forgiveness to Allah and my mother?

Answer: Assalamu ‘alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh

I pray you are well.

You have no need to worry; there is no sin which Allah Most High is not prepared to forgive. Ask Allah for forgiveness, and speak to your mother, and ask her to pardon you too.

Allah Knows Our Weakness

Having created us, Allah is well aware of our weaknesses and flaws. He told us in a hadith in which the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, quoted him, “My servants! Indeed you keep sinning day and night, yet I [am willing to] forgive all sins! So ask Me for forgiveness: I will forgive you.” (Muslim)

What a beautiful hadith this is! Turn to Allah, and ask. Then carry on with things, confident in the promise of Allah Most High.

Speak to your Mother

It may be a good idea to speak to your mother to explain your side to her. From your question, it seems that you were very concerned about her wellbeing, and performing tawaf in that crowd was, in fact, not the best course of action for her.

Sometimes, in stressful situations, it can easy for people to get upset, or a bit angry. I’m sure if you explain this to her, she will appreciate that it was your love and concern for her that was your motive. And, after all, mothers are very forgiving.

Don’t worry about your Hajj. Allah’s mercy is vast, as is His generosity. Perhaps your Hajj was accepted because of that concern you felt for your mother…

May Allah accept your Hajj and that of everyone else who performed it and grant you all the fullest of rewards for it. Amin.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with erudite scholars such as Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh Abdurrahman Arjan, Shaykh Hussain Darwish, and Shaykh Muhammad Darwish. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic with teachers such as Dr. Ashraf Muneeb, Dr. Salah Abu’l-Hajj, Dr. Hamza al-Bakri, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Dr. Mansur Abu Zina, and others. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Qur’anic recital by Shakh Samir Jabir and Shaykh Yahya Qandil. With Shaykh Ali, he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Qur’anic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.

Speaking Harshly

Answered by Ustadh Salman Younas

Question: Today after jummah prayer was over I was looking for a women who I had told I would give her money, so I was looking for her and a man came and asked me for money and he claims that he’s the person I “promised”, so he basically lied. I got angered and spoke harshly to him. Am I sinful for speaking to the man harshly?

Answer: assalamu alaykum

The answer to this question would depend on the nature of your harshness and what exactly you stated.

Anger is not only a natural human emotion but a necessary one for essential human functioning. However, because it is so easy for a person’s anger to become a “swelling ocean” and exceed the bounds, our religion has placed great emphasis on controlling and moderating one’s anger. Thus, the Prophet (blessings upon him) counselled his companions not to become angry. [Bukhari], and many great scholars when asked to summarise good character said it was to leave aside anger. [al-Ghazali, Ihya Ulum al-Din]

Imam al-Ghazali mentions that anger is acceptable only:

i. at the right time,
ii. in the right place,
iii. for the right reasons, and
iv. with the right intensity.

Falling short in any of these points will lead to imbalance and a type of anger the Prophet warned against – one that is not entailed by religion nor the intellect. This imbalanced and blameworthy anger is dangerous because of what it leads to: mockery, insults, demeaning and abusing others, envy, hatred, backbiting etc.

If your anger involved any of this, it should be considered sinful and you should repent. However, if it was merely an expression of firmness and frustration at this person’s act of lying that did not exceed the bounds, it would not be sinful.

But it is often superior to hold back and put up with people in the type of situation you describe and to still seek the forgiveness of God. Imam Ahmad stated, “Good character is to not get angry or enraged. Good character is to patiently endure what comes from people.” [Ibn Rajab, Jami al-Ulum wa’l-Hikam] The spiritual masters of Islam advise people to resist the impulses of their self (nafs) as a form of training it. In other words, when it gets angry, a person should strive to conquer it through good moral character and a display of gentleness. [al-Qushayri, al-Risala]

[Ustadh] Salman Younas

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Salman Younas was born and raised in New York, graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Political Science and Religious Studies. After studying the Islamic sciences online and with local scholars in New York, Ustadh Salman moved to Amman. There he studies Islamic law, legal methodology, belief, hadith methodology, logic, Arabic, and tafsir. Ustadh Salman’s personal interests include research into the fields of law/legal methodology, hadith, theology, as well as political theory, government, media, and ethics. He is also an avid traveler and book collector. He currently resides in Amman with his wife.

Channeling Anger for the Doing of Good – Nurulain Wolhuter

Anger is one of the more serious diseases of the heart. The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, emphasised its severity in numerous ahadith. For example, Abu Huraira, Allah be pleased with him, narrates that a man said to the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace: “Advise me”. He said: “Do not become angry”. So he (the man) reiterated (the question) over and over. He (the Prophet) said: “Do not become angry” [al-Bukhari]. And Anas, Allah be pleased with him, asked the Prophet about that which distances him from the anger of Allah, and he said: “Do not become angry” [Ahmad].

But does this mean that one should never feel anger? How should we feel, for instance, when experiencing or witnessing oppression, cruelty or injustice? Or when someone reviles our religion or our beloved Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace? Imam al-Ghazali takes the view that excessive anger, as well as the inability to become angry at all, are reprehensible. However, being angry in moderation is permissible, as long as it is controlled by the intellect. This is in accordance with our Prophet’s instruction to always follow the middle way in everything.

By way of illustration, let us consider the case of Islamophobia. As Muslims living in the West, we have become all too familiar with its subtleties – veiled comments about bomb-carriers, descriptions of women in niqab as letter-boxes – as well as with its more overt forms – women’s headscarves being ripped off, pigs’ blood being spattered on mosques. But how should we deal with the anger that these experiences evoke?

Imam al-Ghazali’s cures for anger are as insightful in this respect as they are in regard to anger more generally. He exhorts us to humility and patience, and to view ourselves as no better than others. Rather than step forward to take on the perpetrators, to insist on our rights above all else, or to retreat to a siege of separatism, we should think of how our response can demonstrate the truth and beauty of Islam. And how better to do this than to emulate the example of Allah’s Beloved, Allah bless him and give him peace. In this way, our moderate anger will be kept under the control of our intellect. For he, when people reviled and hurt him, responded with the best of character. Instead of seeking the destruction of the people of Ta’if who had hurt him so badly, he expressed the hope that believers would come forth from among their descendants. And instead of being harsh to Abu Jahl, he asked Allah to honour Islam with the one whom He loves more: Abu Jahl or Umar ibn al-Khattab [Tirmidhi].

So the anger we feel when we experience or witness things that hurt or offend us in our religion is justified, provided that it is moderate and controlled. But if we go beyond that, and try our best to transform the anger into forgiveness, gentleness and kindness to those who have hurt or offended us, we will be calling them to the truth and reality of Islam. Let us try to emulate our Beloved in this, as we try to emulate him in everything else.


 

Is Pronouncing ‘Talaq’ in Anger Valid?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: Assalam aleykum,

My husband and I have had some very bad fights, in which we both argue and insult each other. My husband has pronounced ‘talaq’ to me many times over the years, and once even said it three times in a row, but we were both ignorant about the rulings of divorce. I know better now, and am worried about the current stage of my marriage.

My parents have pressured me to return to him and continue with married life. My husband and my parents both do not believe that a talaq said in anger is valid. What do I do?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.

This Answer is a general reply based on the details given. Given the considerations in such cases, please consult reliable local scholars about the specifics of the situation.

Anger

Dear sister, the majority ruling amongst the four school of thought is this – a prouncement of ‘talaq’ in a state of anger is valid, especially as he pronounced it three times in a row. In short, you are no longer married.

Please refer to this excerpt from The Ruling on Divorcing While Angry and Pronouncing Three Divorces:

Finally, it should be noted that, if a woman heard her husband pronounce three divorces and has no doubt in this, but her husband is doubtful, then it will not be permissible for her to treat him as her husband. It will be necessary for her to consider the marriage to be over, thus not let her husband have a husband-wife relationship with her, as the Fuqaha mention that a woman is like a judge (al-mar’atu kal qadhi), meaning that she will be considered a judge with regards to her own situation. (See: Radd al-Muhtar, 2/432). Yes, if she is also doubtful, then she will act according to the procedure outlined above.

In conclusion, you mention that you remember your husband pronouncing divorce three times, thus three divorces have into effect, thus the marriage will be considered to be over. You will not be allowed to return together until after your waiting period (iddat) is over, and until you marry another man and consummate the marriage, get divorce, and complete your second waiting period, because of explicit texts of the Qur’an and Sunnah.

Even if your parents and former husband do not believe you, please know that it is still binding upon you. You are ultimately the one responsible for your own soul.

Divorce

Dear sister, from what you have described, it sounds like you have been divorced for quite some time now. Please make your taubah, and make a plan to move forward with your life as a single mother.

There is much stigma attached with being divorced in the Muslim community. Please know that in your case, as in many others, divorce is a mercy from Allah. You have the opportunity to live a peaceful life with your daughter now. He remains her father, and has rights to interaction with her.

Parents

I am sorry that your parents have pushed you back into a relationship with your former husband. They love you, and want what is best for you, and in their mind, that means staying married to your former husband.

It is obligatory for you to treat your parents with respect, but there is no obeying creation in the disobedience of Allah. Be tactful, respectful, and wise. If they will not listen to you, then seek out a compassionate local elder and/or scholar who can persuade them that you are in a state of divorce.

I pray that over the course of time, your parents will soften their stance.

Mutual respect

Allah wants goodness for you in this world and the next. It is traumatising and deeply disrespectful for a husband to threaten his wife with ‘talaq’ every time he loses his temper. By the same token, it is unacceptable for a wife to goad a husband through belittling him.

I pray that Allah heals you and your former husband, and grants you both whatever is best for your dunya and akhirah.

If Allah writes marriage for you in the future, then I urge you to please study the inward and outward laws governing a successful Islamic marriage. Educate yourself through lesson sets such as this.

Support

Who can you reach out for support during this time? Do you have close friends or siblings you can lean on? What is your financial state right now?

Please look after your spiritual, physical and emotional health during this stressful time. Your daughter needs you, and you can only give her love and support after you have nourished your own self.

Spiritual nourishment

I urge you to stand up in the last third of the night, even if it’s 5-10 minutes before the entry of Fajr. During this time perform the Prayer of Need, pour out your sorrow to Allah, and trust that Allah hears you.

I encourage you to draw comfort from the beautiful duas from this resource: Selected Prophetic Prayers for Spiritual, Physical and Emotional Wellbeing by Chaplain Ibrahim Long.

May Allah make this transition easier on you, and reward you for every discomfort you endure for His sake.

Please see:

Am I Still Married Despite My Wife Claiming That I Have Divorced Her?
Is It Valid to Divorce Someone While Angry or During Menstruation?
What are the Wisdoms behind the Rulings on Divorce in Islam?
Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered

[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.

Is Our Divorce Reversible? (Shafi’i)

Answered by Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan

Question: Assalam alaykum,

One month into our marriage during an argument, my husband said “I divorce you” in anger and without intent. He even forgot he said it almost right after. He did not verbally take me back but we lived together for a few months. Five months later, in another argument, he texted me to say “My decision to divorce you is final” and the next day said “I divorce you” three times. Are we divorced once or irreversibly?

Answer: Wa alaykum al-Salam

Please study this answer.

Accordingly, the first divorce of your husband will be valid, whether he was angry or not, intended it or not. Thereafter, you have confirmed that he did not formally take you back as a wife. If this is the case, and your iddah or waiting period ended – which is the completion of three clean periods – you are no longer considered his wife. If he divorces you thereafter, those divorces are not considered valid. If you wish to continue a relationship with him, you would have to perform a new Nikah or marriage.

And Allah knows best

Wassalam
[Shaykh] Abdurragmaan Khan

Shaykh Abdurragmaan
received ijazah ’ammah from various luminaries, including but not restricted to: Habib Umar ibn Hafiz—a personality who affected him greatly and who has changed his relationship with Allah, Maulana Yusuf Karaan—the former Mufti of Cape Town; Habib ‘Ali al-Mashhur—the current Mufti of Tarim; Habib ‘Umar al-Jaylani—the Shafi‘i Mufti of Makkah; Sayyid Ahmad bin Abi Bakr al-Hibshi; Habib Kadhim as-Saqqaf; Shaykh Mahmud Sa’id Mamduh; Maulana Abdul Hafiz al-Makki; Shaykh Ala ad-Din al-Afghani; Maulana Fazlur Rahman al-Azami and Shaykh Yahya al-Gawthani amongst others.

Is Defending a Slandered Person a Valid Reason for Getting Angry?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: Assalam aleykum,

Is defending a person who is being verbally attacked a valid reason for getting angry (i.e. raising one’s voice) if the person who is committing the wrong will not listen to one who defends in a calm way?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us. Please forgive me for the delay.

Anger

There is a difference between positive anger and negative anger. Positive anger can give you the courage to stand up for what’s right. Negative anger can lead to you losing your cool and making decisions you later regret.

Emotional Flooding

When two individuals are in conflict, physiological flooding is likely to occur. If both parties are flooded, then it is highly unlikely for either party to come to a peaceful resolution.

In other words, if someone is already shouting at you, then shouting even louder at him will not help him listen.

Unfortunately, some people only response to threats and other forms of emotional violence. The ends do not justify the means. Responding to violence with violence is not our way.

Conflict resolution

Aisha (may Allah be pleased be her) said, “The Messenger of Allah (upon him be blessings and peace) never hit anything with his hand – not a woman, nor a servant [ie. to clarify that not just another man is meant, rather no living creature, not even an animal] – except in his fighting in Allah’s way [ie. just war that was fought for protection]. And he never, ever took revenge on a person who had done something personally wrong to him, unless something of what Allah made inviolable was violated [ie. like the abuse of slave], in which case he reacted solely for the sake of Allah, Might and Majestic.” [Muslim]

Reflect upon the Prophetic model of conflict resolution. He modelled calm in the face of tremendous pain. He never lashed out at his wives, children, or anyone who worked for him. He felt anger, and showed us how to deal with it – with restraint, and by choosing the path that is pleasing to Allah.

Solutions

I recommend that you explore different communication and conflict resolution strategies. Please read these articles:

Manage Conflict: The Six Skills
Weekend Homework Assignment: Physiological Self-Soothing
The Anger Iceberg
Making Sure Emotional Flooding Doesn’t Capsize Your Relationship

I also suggest speaking to a culturally-sensitive counsellor who can teach you better conflict resolution skills. Learning how to communicate and manage conflict is a skill, like any other, and it takes guidance and practice.

Good character

I encourage you to explore SeekersHub courses, lesson sets, and podcasts that deal with good character.

I do not know the details of your situation, but it sounds like you are interacting with a very challenging individual. Trust that Allah is the Turner of hearts. The true test of good character lies with difficult interactions, and not the easy ones. Look upon this as a learning opportunity, and a way for you to grow in your journey towards Allah.

Please see:

A Little Fiqh on Controlling One’s Anger
Is There a Supplication (Du`a) to Help Control a Bad Temper?
A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah

Wassalam,

[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.

When Confronted With Brutal Injustice, by Shaykh Salim Mauladdawila

Remaining faithful and strategic when confronted with brutal injustice is perhaps one of the most challenging tests of this life. However, it is the right thing to do and it pays off, explains Shaykh Salim Mauladdawila.

The tale of the first murder committed in human history and the ripples of sin that would emanate therefrom is one from which many lessons are drawn. The pride of Qabil, the elder brother, his disobedience of his father Prophet Adam, and his inability to accept God’s divine decree all came together to culminate in him committing the vile act of murdering his own brother in cold blood. Of his sin God says in the Quran,

“We decreed for the children of Israel that whosoever kills a human being, except [as punishment] for murder or for spreading corruption in the land, it shall be as if he killed all humanity” [5:32].

The Prophet Muhammad further explained in a hadith narrated by Imam Muslim,

“No person is killed unjustly except that the first share of sin falls upon the son of Adam, for he was the first to introduce killing.”

Greater than that perhaps, as some scholars have pointed out, Qabil’s transgression marks mankind’s first open defiance of his Lord, and it would serve as a divide for all the descendants of Adam to come. From that day there would now be two groups in human civilisation: those who follow prophetic guidance, and those who turn away.
But just before that fateful moment when Qabil struck down Habil, the younger of the two, Habil spoke inspired words. Threatened by his brother, he is quoted by God as saying to him,

“If you raise your hand to kill me, I will raise not mine to kill you, for verily I fear God, the Lord of all the worlds” [5:28].

Referencing this thousands of years later, the Prophet Muhammad would say in narrations collected by Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah, Imam Ahmad, and others that when in times of incredible tribulation, it is upon us to “be like the better of Adam’s two sons”.

When Muslim Commit Wrong

Anger and outrage are natural reactions to encountering injustice. When the injustice is towards our fellow Muslims, we are understandably angered further. But sometimes we find Muslims themselves committing wrong. Be it in the sphere of our immediate family, local community, or on a global level, when injustice and oppression occur so close to home we typically feel shaken and betrayed. We cry out for justice and wish that the perpetrators get their comeuppance. Sometimes the powers that be handle the situation correctly and we are blessed with closure, but other times justice escapes us, be it through systemic failure of a trusted establishment or another reason. At times the guilty party is so close to us and so respected by us that we feel that no matter the outcome, true forgiveness can never take place.

Being Entitled to Justice

We are all entitled to justice, however in its pursuit it is pertinent we keep two things in mind: we cannot let our pursuit of justice be an excuse for transgressing the sacred law, and true justice in God’s sight extends to beyond this world and is ultimately carried out on the Day of Judgement.
The vast majority of us can be thankful that no one is immediately threatening their life, but when we are wronged, the Prophet’s advice to “be like the better of Adam’s two sons” remains golden. For us, his words mean that we should maintain high standards in all our interactions, and that whatever situation we find ourselves in, it is upon us to remain bound by the rulings of the sacred law.
In the Quran, God advises us as to what we should do when facing injustice. He says,

“And surely we will try you with something of fear, hunger, and loss of wealth, life, and the fruits [of your labour]; but give glad tidings to those who have patience, who, when assailed by adversity, say, ‘Surely we belong to God, and to Him we shall return.’” [2:155-156].

More than simply being words to utter in times of tribulation, what God is outlining for us here is an understanding that Muslims should have in all their interactions. A way of thought that guides us in our daily dealings. Scholars who have commented on this verse have noted that there are two kinds of adversities which can befall us, and this verse is teaching us how to behave with both:

  1. adversity directly from God, like illness or death, and
  2. adversity which comes in the form of animosity and injustice from other human beings.

“Surely we belong to God” means that when God tests us with some affliction, we reaffirm our status as His slaves, surrender to Him all our affairs, and are ultimately pleased with His decree. As for when another person wrongs us, “surely we belong to God” means we turn to Him for retreat and do not seek appeasement for our anger thorough unlegislated means, for He who we belong to has ordered us so.

Two Wrongs Do Not Make A Right

Indeed God specifically mentions three traits of the pious as those “who expend both in joy and tribulation, who suppress their anger, and pardon the people” [3:134]. God also gives us further direction in how to respond saying, “Good and evil are not alike: respond [to evil] with the better deed” [41:34]. We aught to be mindful of this verse and not stoop to the lows of our oppressors. We do not subscribe to the notion that two wrongs make a right and we always strive to seek the pleasure of our Lord through the means he has permitted.

The Hadith of the Lie

A look at the examples of our Prophet, his Companions, and the pious people in Muslim history gives us further guidance in these matters. One of the greatest examples we have is in the well-known Ifk Hadith, or the hadith of the lie.
A lengthy hadith narrated by Imam al-Bukhari, the Ifk Hadith deals with an incident where the Prophet’s wife Sayyida Aisha was falsely accused of promiscuity outside of her marriage. Over a period longer than a month, false accusations were spread in Medina causing much distress to the Prophetic household and the household of Abu Bakr al-Siddiq. Aisha’s innocence was eventually proclaimed by God in a revealed verse and the propagators of the lie were duly punished. What remains for us are several lessons in correctly dealing with communal problems.
Firstly, throughout the narration Aisha does not slander any of the individuals who blackened her name. She was proven innocent and justice was served, and she did not seek more than that. Indeed during the ordeal, her only words to the Prophet were, quoting the prophet Yaqub, “patience is best. I seek the aid of God alone for what you impute” [12:18]. Out of the several individuals involved, only two are mentioned by name; one who is somewhat essential to the story and the other, the main source of the lies, is only named in passing. We also find that when the Prophet stood on the pulpit in his mosque and addressed his Companions regarding the allegations, he refers to the source of the lies simply as “a man”. The anonymity of those who spread the lie was maintained to the point that even modern hadith scholars disagree as to who exactly was punished.
Furthermore, probably the most astounding thing we see is the behaviour of Abu Bakr, the father of Aisha, during the turmoil. One of the accusers was Abu Bakr’s first cousin once removed. He was a poor man, and Abu Bakr provided him with aid. While his daughter was actively being slandered, Abu Bakr continued providing for his relative fully aware of his role in the matter. Even when the accuser’s own mother cursed her son, Abu Bakr continued to financially support him. It was only when Aisha’s innocence was revealed by God that Abu Bakr swore to end his charity. However even then, upon revelation of the verse, “Let not those of means amongst you swear that they will not give to their relatives, the poor, and those who leave their homes in the service of God. They should forgive and overlook [their failings]. Would you not like God to forgive you?” [24:22], Abu Bakr resumed his aid, saying, “Yes, by God, I wish that God should forgive me”, and, “By God, I will never withhold it from him ever”.

The Case of Yemen

Even in modern times, we find amazing examples of “responding with the better deed”. In parts of Yemen once under communist control, Islamic scholars were silenced with threats, abducted, and even killed, sometimes publicly. The collapse of the USSR brought with it the fall of communism in the region, and religious scholars returned to the vanguard of traditional society. Their return, however, did not usher in of a wave of bitter reprisals for abducted fathers and murdered uncles. Not one scholar used their position of influence to seek revenge on those who had ransacked their homes and evicted their families. Those previously aligned with the oppressive party found that the scholars did not expose them as wrongdoers, and instead encouraged their repentance and return to sound behaviour and faith. The pious scholars, like the pious of the Muslims before them, busied themselves with God’s words, “Indeed, God orders justice, good conduct, and giving to relatives, and forbids immorality, bad conduct, and oppression” [16:90], and their trust was with his verses, “Whosoever does an atom’s weight of good will see it, and whosoever does an atom’s weight of evil will see it” [99:7-8].

Allah Takes Care of It All

We have been blessed with a religion so complete that we can always find guidance, and a God so merciful that we are never left forsaken. Many scholars state that one of the reasons our Prophet Muhammad endured so many hardships in life was to provide us with a sound example to guide us in our own tribulations. As followers of the Prophet, we cannot let scandals and acts of oppression cause us to forget the moral standards we strive to live by. We are to remember that our God is merciful, and no injustice goes unpunished, be it in this world or in the next.
When we seek justice, we do so for all creation, but without crossing the lines defined by the religious law. We cannot take matters into our own hands in acts of anarchism. We have no rights over any other person’s property. Slander, back-biting, and vilification are all strictly prohibited by our Lord. If justice escapes us, we should remind ourselves that true justice takes place in the hereafter.
As Muslims, we are ordered to do good, but God continuously encourages and calls us to excellence. In acts of obedience and in acts of wrongdoing, we are reminded by the words of our Prophet, “God the almighty is good and accepts only that which is good”.

Resources for Seekers

My Colleagues Don’t Respect Me When I Am Praying. What Can I Do?

Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah

Question: Assalamu alaykum

My colleagues don’t respect me when I am praying. They enter in the room where I pray and make a lot of noise. When I talked to them about that they got angry at me. I w afraid that I would have to fight them. What should I do?

Answer: In the Name of God, the Merciful and Compassionate

Thank you for your question. May Allah grant you the best of states and guide you to what is pleasing to Him.

Finding a peaceful place to pray can often be difficult in shared spaces. What is important is that while we try to find our personal space for worship, we must also take into account other people’s spaces.

Talking with your colleagues

I’m assuming you share a room with others. It would be a good idea to speak to your colleagues at another time other than straight after prayer. Be gentle and explain to them that those times are important to you and ask them if they could kindly not make too much noise just during those prayer times. Explain to them that it is important to keep one’s concentration during prayer and you would really appreciate them helping you in this. It maybe your roommate hasn’t realized the nature of prayer and everything it entails. God tells us in the Qur’an,

‘Invite to the way of your Lord with wise and fair counsel, and reason with them in ways that are best’ [al Nahl 16:125],

However, if they are not willing to listen to you, despite you asking kindly, then do not become angry. There is no excuse for arguing and fighting and is not allowed, even in these situations. Confrontation will only make the matter worse.

Practical steps:

You can try some of the following suggestions to ease the situation:

· Pray away from doorways and entrances.

· See if there is any other room or place you can pray without distraction. If there is no other space, then make sure you pray somewhere that is not in their space or obstructing them from getting to their things. A corner or facing a wall or window may be good options.

· Put a barrier in front of you such as chair. This will stop anyone walking in front of you as well as defining a clear ‘space’ for them to see.

· Don’t recite so loud in prayers, such as at Fajr, Maghrib, and Isha, that it distracts others. Their comfort and personal space is just as important to consider as your prayer.

· If things don’t improve and you cannot pray elsewhere, consider using earplugs when praying to avoid distraction from others making noise in the room. Combine this with closing your eyes, which may help with concentration.

I sincerely hope that your situation works out and you find a solution. Remember, do not angry, argue, or fight. Show them that practicing one’s religion means patience and composure at all times. God informs us, ‘Allah is with those who patiently persevere’ [2;153].

This way, even if they don’t listen to you, they won’t be able to help but respect you. They may even feel embarrassed and respect your request.

Warmest salams

[Shaykh] Jamir Meah

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007 I travelled to Tarim, Yemen, where I spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with my main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, I moved to Amman, Jordan, where I continue advanced study in a range of sciences, as well as teaching. Away from the Islamic sciences, I am a qualified Homeopath, and run a private clinic in Amman.

What Should I Do After Raising My Voice Against My Parents?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: As salam alaikum

If one raises their voice in the heat of the moment against their parents or other elders, are they required to seek forgiveness directly from the individual? What if one was making a valid point but by seeking forgiveness, their point is diminished or even dismissed?

Answer:Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

Generally, if you hurt another person in some way, it is proper that you ask to be excused for your mistake. This applies more seriously with respect to parents because of the duty to do good to them. Hypothetically, if voices need to be raised to make a point, you should consider (a) the actual need in making the point, (b) the soundness of it, and (c) if it can be made in a more reasonable and positive way. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Verily Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness in all matters.” [Bukhari; Muslim]

Consider taking the following free class: The Rights of Parents

And please also see: How Can I Be a Dutiful Son While Maintaining Independence from Controlling Parents? and: When May Parents Be Disobeyed, and How? and: A Reader on Tawba (Repentance)

And Allah Most High alone knows best.

wassalam,
[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Tabraze Azam was born and raised in Ipswich, England, a quiet town close to the east coast of England. His journey for seeking sacred knowledge began when he privately memorized the entire Qur’an in his hometown at the age of 16. He also had his first experience in leading the tarawih (nightly-Ramadan) prayers at his local mosque. Year after year he would continue this unique return to reciting the entire Quran in one blessed month both in his homeland, the UK, and also in the blessed lands of Shaam, where he now lives, studies and teaches.

Mercy Over Machismo: The Prophetic Way, by Ustadh Amjad Tarsin

Mercy Over Machismo: The Prophetic Way, by Ustadh Amjad Tarsin

Capturing the Spirit of Ramadan
Mercy, Forgiveness, and Salvation

Every night our Ramadan scholars will explore one of the three key spiritual goals of Ramadan. Each talk will conclude with a dynamic conversation as we explore mercy, forgiveness and salvation deeply and see how we can attain these divine gifts practically. These talks will enliven and inspire us as we begin our nightly ‘isha and tarawih prayers.

Daily at 10:00 pm EST. Attend in person at SeekersHub Toronto or watch live. 

 

 

Let’s #GiveLight to Millions More

We envision a world in which no one is cut off from the beauty, mercy and light of the Prophetic ﷺ example. A world where the dark ideology of a few is dwarfed by radiant example of the many who follow the way of the Prophet ﷺ. But we can’t do it alone. We need your support. This Ramadan, we need you to help us #GiveLight to millions more. Here’s how.

Photo by apai biszign.