Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
I committed a great sin and don’t know how to repent. Recently I shared to a single guy online, my wife’s picture in a little revealing dress without showing her full face. Recently, I found out that in the past, she had relationships, so I lost my temper, and at night I shared her pictures (not nudes) with this guy. Then I felt terrible when I came to my senses. I realized that what she did was in her past. I don’t know what to do. I hate myself, and I am feeling like beating myself. I don’t understand how I lost control. Please tell me how to save my wife and myself from hellfire. She doesn’t know yet.
Thank you for your question. I empathize with your frustration and confusion, and I pray that you can find patience in the future when you are faced with something that displeases you.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “(Real) patience is at the first stroke of a calamity.” [Bukhari] Concerning this Hadith, we can see that true patience appears at the very first stroke of a problem, and your first reaction was that of anger and overreacting. I hope that you take this as a lesson to train and develop yourself and work on eliminating your ego and working on anger management so that you don’t cause irreparable problems for your relationships in the future.
All praise to Allah that you feel regret and remorse. Now, repent, repent, repent. I pray that you continue to gain closeness to Allah through worship and increasing your knowledge and practice. Pray on time, give charity regularly, read the Quran daily, and avoid the haram. This is the only way to truly transform. Take a course on Islamic marriage now so that you understand what it entails of rights and responsibilities. May Allah make your affairs easy for you and guide you to what is best for your relationships. There is no need to tell your wife what you did, as this might cause irreparable harm. One should not disclose one’s sins. Ask your single friend to delete the photos.
Find solace in this Quranic verse. Allah Most High says, “Say, ‘O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.’” [Quran, 39:53]
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Have taqwa (fear) of Allah wherever you may be, and follow up an evil deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards the people.” [Tirmidhi]
Please see these links, apply the tips within, and memorize the du`as.
- How Do I Deal With Anger?
- How Can I Control My Anger?
- Is Anger Sinful?
- A Reader on Tawba (Repentance)
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.