Posts

Supplication For Getting Married

Answered by Ustadh Salman Younas

Question: I had a relation for 2 months with a boy but we broke up because we are from different states and our parents won’t allow us to get married. Is there any supplication I can do to get him as my husband in the future with our parent’s acceptance?

Answer: assalamu alaykum

You should note at the outset that having such a relationship before marriage is not sanctioned in Islam. While it is good to see you are thinking about marriage and validating your relationship in the eyes of the shariah, if you have engaged in any past behaviors that the shariah deems impermissible, you should seek God’s forgiveness for it as should the other party.

In this way, you can proceed with marriage in the correct way and with the blessings of God. You should know that the doors of His mercy are always open: “Do not despair of the mercy of God. Surely, God forgives all sins. Indeed, He is the Most Forgiving, the Merciful’ (39:53).”

Regarding a supplication, you can use any words you like. There are other general supplications you should recite as well, which include:

“Our Lord! Grant unto us spouses and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous.” (25:74)

You should also recite the istikhara prayer. Set your mind and heart to God granting you a spouse who is best for your worldly and next-worldly life regardless of who it is.

Please see: A Dua to Make Someone My Spouse and Istikhara: The Prayer of Seeking Guidance

Wassalam,

[Ustadh Salman Younas]

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Salman Younas was born and raised in New York and graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Political Science and Religious Studies. After studying the Islamic sciences online and with local scholars in New York, Ustadh Salman moved to Amman. There he studies Islamic law, legal methodology, belief, hadith methodology, logic, Arabic, and tafsir. Ustadh Salman’s personal interests include research into the fields of law/legal methodology, hadith, theology, as well as political theory, government, media, and ethics. He is also an avid traveler and book collector. He currently resides in Amman with his wife.

A Dua to Make Someone My Spouse

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil is asked whether there are specific dua one can recite that makes the desired person become one’s spouse.

Question:

Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

I am interested in marrying my friend, but the problem is that he does not want to get married right now. He likes me, but we haven’t talked about marriage. He says he is not ready.

I am praying hard to Allah to make me his wife. when he gets ready. Meanwhile I’ve said no to all proposals.

I’ve become very spiritual. I started tahajjud, reading Qur’an, and making duas. I make istighfar a lot. Sometimes my heart just says he is the one. I don’t know when we will get married. Is there any dua by which we can get married fast?

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.

Being Ready For Marriage

Dear sister, please know that when a good man wants to marry you, he will ask for your hand in marriage, and do everything it takes to make that happen.

It sounds like you are in love with this young man, but he is not reciprocating your affections. You describe him as liking you. If he has not mentioned wanting to marry you, then my advice to you is this: ask him, if he is keen to marry you, and how long that will take.

Supplication To Marry

You may recite the following supplications for a spouse anytime:

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَاماً

“Our Lord! Grant unto us spouses and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous.” (Sura al-Furqan 25:74)

رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ

“My lord, I am in absolute need of the good You send me.” (Sura al-Qasas 28:24)

Source: Should I Rely on Allah to Send Me My Marriage Partner?

Current Focus

When you are young and unmarried, it is natural to want to seek out companionship. Allah created us to long for connection and heartfelt relationships. And when you are in love, hearts and eyes become blinded.

You are your own woman. You do not need a man to inspire you to greater heights of worship. Choose to do so, willingly, because you are responsible for your own soul. A loving husband can be a precious and beloved helpmate to Allah, but do not give your heart away to anyone until he is married to you.

Self-worth

Trials of attachment are painful indeed. Longing to marry someone who does not want to marry you back is very heartbreaking. Dear sister, you are beloved to Allah. He honors you with Islam. Please do not waste your time on a man who does not value you enough to marry you. And from this heartbreak, I urge you to choose your husband wisely.

Prepare for marriage by studying and reading about it – love and attraction are insufficient to sustain a successful Islamic marriage. Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriages is an excellent starting point.

I pray that Allah guides you to what will benefit you most in this life as well as the next.

Please see: Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered.

Wassalam,

Raidah

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.


Should I Rely on Allah to Send Me My Marriage Partner?

Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah

Question: As-SalamuAlikum. What duas can I make to Allah to enable me to be paired with a Spouse? I am of marriageable age but I am reluctant to find someone for myself or ask my parents for help in this regard due to previous bad experiences.

Answer: Wa’alaykum assalam. I pray you are well insha’Allah. I’m sorry to hear you have had hardships in your life. May Allah turn them into moments of strength and increase in faith.

The correct way to seek a spouse is to first rely on Allah as the sole source of happiness and goodness, supplicate to Him, and then take the means which are available to you in choosing the right spouse, which means making decisions based on your own judgement and the advice of your parents and others, whilst seeking further guidance through Istikhara.

Marriage for the sake of Allah

Before one gets marriage, one should try to ensure that they are grounded in their own practice of the religion, the meaning begin observing the obligatory duties of the region.

One should also make sure that seeking Allah Most High’s Pleasure is the most important purpose of marriage, in that one desires companionship and intimacy from a lawful relationship, in which two people help each other increase in faith, practice and their journey towards Allah.

Supplication

You may recite the following supplications for a spouse anytime,

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَاماً

‘Our Lord! Grant unto us spouses and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous.’ [Qur’an, 25:74]

رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ

‘My lord, I am in absolute need of the good You send me’ [Qur’an, 28:24]

Taking the Means

A man once asked the Prophet ﷺ, ‘O Messenger of Allah, should I tie my camel and trust in Allah, or should I leave her untied and trust in Allah?’ To which the Messenger of Allah ﷺ replied, ‘Tie her and trust in Allah.’ [al Tirmidhi]

Like wealth and other blessings, marital spouses are part of one’s decreed provisions. However, just because they are decreed, it is a mistake to believe that one should not take the means and necessary action to gain the provision. Rather one relies on Allah and then takes action. This is the way Allah Most High has commanded us to live, and to do otherwise is blameworthy.

Taking action here means actively looking for and meeting potential marriage partner, each step weighing up the situation and advice of parents, elders and good friends. Then, one seeks further guidance from Allah through praying Istikhara and supplicating for what is good in each affair.

Bad Experiences

Hardships and bad experiences happen to us all. In such times, we have to find a way to turn these negative experiences into positive outcomes by learning from them, being patient, relying on Allah alone and being thankful to Him for everything.

At the same time, it is right to be precautious, especially when marrying. Therefore, I suggest you take the steps described above, but be sure to asses each person and situation properly. Do not be afraid to say what you want and what you expect, and ask whatever questions you feel you need to in order to feel absolutely confident you are making the right decision. Similarly, do not be afraid to take a step back if things do not seem right or comfortable to you.

You may also find the following answers useful:

Supplication for a Spouse

Istikhara: The Prayer of Seeking Guidance

I wish you all the best and that Allah grants you a pious and loving spouse, and protection from harm.

Warmest salams,
[Shaykh] Jamir Meah

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007, he traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with a main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continues advanced studies in a range of Islamic sciences, as well as teaching. Jamir is a qualified homeopath.