Answered by Ustadha Shireen Ahmed
Question: Assalam alaykum,
I have one child and my last in vitro resulted in a miscarriage. I sold my late mother’s jewelry in a desperate attempt to fund another cycle. I am filled with immense regret. I’m so overwhelmed with stress. I have really detested being an only child and am desperate to provide a sibling for my daughter. I’ll use the money that I did get to try in vitro again. I feel like I lost a part of my mom.
Could you give some duas?
Answer: Assalam Alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuhu,
I pray this message reaches you in the best of health and iman.
May Allah Most High bless you and your family, and unite you together in Jannat al-Firdous, ameen. It is important to put things in perspective. Firstly, we all make mistakes, so one should not wish for “if only I had done such and such…”. It was in your destiny to sell your jewelry in the way that you did, and no amount of remorse or regret will bring that back. These kinds of blessings are given by Allah Most High, and He can take them back whenever He wills. So just be content with the decision, as that time has passed.
Secondly, be very grateful for the blessings you do have: a lovely little girl, your husband, a good place to live etc. Each child is a blessing, so if just one is decreed for you, then be grateful. One can take the steps to have another one, but in the meantime one trusts in Allah fully that whatever is best for one happens. He knows your state and He knows what is best for you. You may also want to consider if this is the best way to spend the remainder of your savings, as it could also be used for your daughter’s future or education.
Some duas you can recite to help you have less anxiety:
Blessings on the Prophet صلى الله عليه و سلم such as “Allahumma salli ‘ala sayyidina Muhammad, wa ‘ala ‘alahi wa sahabehi wa sallam”
اللهم صلي على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه وسلّم
Allah is sufficient for me, and He is the Best of Providers “Hasbi Allah wa ni‘ma al-Wakil”
حسبي الله ونعم الوكيل
An excellent answer on this same topic can be found here: Struggling to Have Children: Ten Key Etiquettes of Du’a
May Allah Most High destine what is best for you, and grant you goodness in this world and the Next, amin.
[Ustadha] Shireen Ahmed (Umm Umar)
Ustadha Shireen Ahmed (Umm Umar) inspires her students as a living example example of what is possible when one is committed to gaining sacred knowledge. Teacher, student, activist, mother, wife — Umm Umar shows that it is possible to balance worldly responsibilities with the pursuit of knowledge.
Umm Umar was born and raised in Canada, where she graduated from the University of Toronto with a B.A. in Psychology and Sociology. During her university studies, she was actively involved in MSA work at the local and national levels. After graduation, she set out to formally pursue sacred knowledge, studying Arabic at the University of Damascus and Islamic studies at Jamia Abi Nour and taking private classes in Qur’anic recitation, Prophetic traditions,, Islamic Law (Hanafi) and the Prophetic biography.