Does This Statement I Said to My Wife Constitute Divorce?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

During an argument, I said to my wife, “I spit on you,” and later asked Allah for forgiveness. I can’t recall my exact intention. Is this considered a kinaya (indirect) statement?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question.

This is not an indirect statement of divorce. Instead, it is a highly offensive remark that should be avoided. You should apologize to your wife and refrain from making such comments.

Allusive and Non-Allusive Words

Divorce is of two types:

• Clear and plain words (sarih)
• Allusive words (kinaya)

Sarih (clear) means expressly pronouncing the word divorce or words derived from it, such as: “I divorce you” or “you are divorced” etc. Kinaya (allusive) means using words that are not exclusively prescribed for issuing divorce but allude and hint at it.

Clear and plain words affect divorce whether one intends divorce by them or not, while allusive words do not affect it unless one intends divorce by them or it is determined by the circumstance one is in.

[Ibn ‘Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

Watching One’s Tongue

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “When the Son of Adam awakes, all his limbs denigrate his tongue. They say, ‘Fear Allah concerning us (limbs of the body), for we are only with you (after all). If you go straight, we go straight, and if you go crooked, we go crooked.’” [Tirmidhi]

Review Marriage Obligations

Both of you should review your obligations within the marriage and agree on a plan for conflict resolution. You may also take a free course on Islamic marriage with us. May Allah (Most High) create happiness and harmony in your marriage, Amin.

I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. In sha Allah, you will receive guidance and direction.

Related

• Ruling on Swearing
• Kinaya Archives
• Do These Statements Entail Divorce?
• Will It Affect Divorce If My Husband Says During a Fight, “Go Find Another Husband”?
• Love, Marriage, and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered
• Etiquette of Marriage: A Comprehensive SeekersGuidance Reader
• A Reader on Ritual Purity, Urine Leakage, and Misgivings – SeekersGuidance
• (122) 30 – Devil’s Tricks – The Path of Muhammad: Birgivi’s Manual of Taqwa Explained – Sh Faraz Rabbani – YouTube

Why not begin your search for knowledge by signing up for a course on SeekersAcademy (seekersguidance.org) and building your way up by taking each course?

I pray this helps with your question.

Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.