Can I Give Up My Right of Divorce?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

I make hasty decisions when angry. I have already issued two divorces, and I fear a third. Can I give up my right of divorce, or bind myself by a contract so that it cannot be issued in haste?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

There is no legally recognized way for a husband to relinquish his right of divorce entirely.

Even if he delegates it, or conditions it on a written statement or a binding intention, his own right of divorce never ceases and can still take effect.

Ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) related that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Divorce is the right of the husband, who has authority over the woman through marriage.” [Ibn Majah]

The one who holds the right of divorce is the husband. The wife does not hold it. [Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

What You Can Do Instead

The right of divorce placed in the husband’s hands carries great divine wisdom. It is a grave trust and part of your moral responsibility, and the way to honor it is to make hasty use of it harder rather than to try to sign it away.

Take a marriage course and an anger management course, so that you learn to hold your tongue in the moment. And draft a safeguard undertaking with a reliable mufti or scholar: a written promise not to pronounce divorce, and to seek mediation or consultation first.

That will not remove the right, but it will stand between you and an impulsive word.

May Allah reward you for caring about your marriage and your family, and for putting every means in place to prevent another divorce.

And Allah knows best.

[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Related SeekersGuidance Answers

• Can a Woman Divorce Herself Without Being Delegated the Right to Do So? · Mawlana Ilyas Patel · Why a wife holds no independent power to end the marriage, and what tafwid, delegation, actually transfers.
• Does the Wife’s Second Use of the Same Delegated Authorization Count as Another Divorce? · Shaykh Faraz Rabbani · How far a single delegation reaches, and why an unrestricted command does not allow for repetition.
• Did I Utter One Divorce or Two in This Case? · Mawlana Ilyas Patel · How a single pronouncement is counted, and how a revocable divorce is taken back.
• What is the Ruling of Three Divorces in the State of Anger Multiple Times? · Mawlana Ilyas Patel · The three degrees of anger, and which of them leaves a pronouncement without effect. Bears directly on your fear.

Mawlana Ilyas Patel has received traditional education in various countries. He started his schooling in the UK and completed his hifz of the Quran in India. After that, he joined an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied secular and Aalimiyya sciences. Later, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries to further his education. Mawlana has served as an Imam in the Republic of Ireland for several years and taught the Quran and other Islamic sciences to both children and adults. He also worked as a teacher and librarian at a local Islamic seminary in the UK for 12 years. Presently, he lives in the UK with his wife and is interested in books and gardening.