At What Age Should We Make Sure That Our Kids Wear Modest Clothes?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I wanted to know that at what age should we make sure that our kids wear modest clothes? I have a 9-year-old daughter and most of her clothes are passed down from her cousin. Most of these clothes are sleeveless and short.
When I object, my wife says that everyone dresses like this or she is too young to dress modestly and that most of these clothes come from her sister and she does not have any problem with it.
At what age should we make sure that our children are dressed properly and what type of clothes are okay for children to wear? How can we explain it to our children about being dressed modestly?
Answer
Thank you for your question. The best explanation of Islamic dress, its purpose, obligation, and meaning is here.
Islamic dress: they are not little anymore
You are absolutely correct that your daughter should be dressing more modestly at her age. Many parents in the West have forgotten or have never learned the Islamic standard of honor and beauty. Simply shopping at the local western malls to pick up whatever is one sale doesn’t work when your daughter reaches age 8 or 9.
Clothing should be long-sleeved, loose, and shirts and dresses should be covering the bum. It doesn’t need to be black or ugly, and she should still get plenty of fresh air and sun for Vitamin D on her face, hands, and possibly feet. She will have to stop wearing leggings very soon.
Your wife has the same attitude that most parents toward their children: that they are too young to dress modestly. This is false. A girl who is 9 is not little anymore and she is still viewing her as a 3-year-old. The sooner you train her to behave and look like a young lady, the better it will be for her deen and society.
Prepare them to want to wear hijab
A child who is trained to think that wearing sleeveless shirts and short clothing in public is normal is not going to be encouraged or motivated to wear hijab by 10 years old. Note that a 9-year-old girl may begin menstruating at any time and it is obligatory for the parents to teach her all the rules of menstruation by the time she is nine, so how can it be when they won’t teach her the basics of dressing as a Muslimah?
At this point, she should also be praying five times a day, so it must be made a habit to leave the home in clothing that she can pray in, and if she is not wearing a hijab yet, she should be carrying it.
Imitating disbelievers and keeping good company
Not imitating non-Muslims in clothing is a factor when raising a Muslim child and parents should be keenly aware of it and avid to avoid it. One should remember that tight-fitting clothing is not beautiful and the lack of modesty takes the beauty out of things. Teach your child the same. Talk to your wife, have her read the following articles, and most importantly, keep the company of religious families who keep Islamic modest dress. Your daughter will want to dress like those around her and teach her that she will dress differently from her cousin.
May Allah give you success in raising your girl and reward you for having the correct opinion about your daughter’s dress. Please see these links as well:
Clothes of The People of the Land
Denim Clothing, Saris, and Imitating the Unbelievers
What Type of Clothing Can We Label as Sunna?
May Allah give you the best in this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
