Is Allah Displeased With Me for Showing Irritation to My Mother?
Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Question
While I was studying, my mother asked me to serve dessert to guests, and I showed irritation; she became upset, said I was ungrateful for the tuition my parents pay, and prayed against me in her distress. Is Allah now displeased with me?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Merciful and Compassionate.
Do not be harsh with yourself. A moment of irritation, especially when you regret it, is not the lasting displeasure you fear. The concern you feel now is itself a sign of your love and respect for your mother.
The Place of the Mother
It is true that the mother’s right is immense. When a man asked the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) who was most deserving of his good company, he answered, “Your mother,” and again “Your mother,” and a third time “Your mother,” before saying “Your father.” [Bukhari, al-Adab al-Mufrad]
Allah ties her honor to His own worship: “And your Lord has decreed that you are to worship none but Him; And to treat parents with grace and kindness … Never say ‘Faugh!’ to them or rebuff them harshly; But speak to them respectful words of honor.” [Quran 17:23; Keller, The Quran Beheld]
A Lapse Is Not a Sentence
Consider the matter carefully. A brief moment of irritation, especially if it was not intended, is not the lasting displeasure warned about in the texts. What is done out of forgetfulness or by mistake is forgiven. Your mother’s words were spoken out of hurt, not as a final judgment against you. She felt unappreciated in that moment, but this does not close the door to her love or to Allah’s mercy.
Repentance Is Found at Her Feet
The way forward is clear. A man once came to Ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) burdened by a grave sin, asking whether he could repent; Ibn Abbas asked, “Is your mother alive?” and said, “I know no deed that brings one nearer to Allah than dutifulness to the mother.” [Bukhari, al-Adab al-Mufrad]
Repentance and making things right go together: go to your mother, apologize sincerely, serve her with a glad heart, and show her that she is honored and secure with you.
And Allah is the giver of success and facilitation.
And Allah knows best.
[Shaykh] Faraz Rabbani
Related Answers
- Is Allah Displeased If I Anger My Parents Accidentally? — why an unintended slip is not the displeasure the texts warn against.
- Is the Pleasure of Allah in the Pleasure of Our Parents? — how a parent’s contentment relates to seeking Allah’s.
- Have I Earned the Anger of Allah for Raising My Voice at My Mother? — reassurance and a path back after losing one’s temper.
- How to Achieve Balance Between Hope and Fear of Allah? — keeping hope and fear in their proper measure.
Shaykh Faraz Rabbani is a recognized specialist scholar in the Islamic sciences, having studied under leading scholars from around the world. He is the Founder and Executive Director of SeekersGuidance.
Shaykh Faraz stands as a distinguished figure in Islamic scholarship. His journey in seeking knowledge is marked by dedication and depth. He spent ten years studying under some of the most revered scholars of our times. His initial studies took place in Damascus. He then continued in Amman, Jordan.
In Damascus, he was privileged to learn from the late Shaykh Adib al-Kallas. Shaykh Adib al-Kallas was renowned as the foremost theologian of his time. Shaykh Faraz also studied under Shaykh Hassan al-Hindi in Damascus. Shaykh Hassan is recognized as one of the leading Hanafi jurists of our era.
Upon completing his studies, Shaykh Faraz returned to Canada in 2007. His return marked a new chapter in his service to the community. He founded SeekersGuidance. The organization reflects his commitment to spreading Islamic knowledge. It aims to be reliable, relevant, inspiring, and accessible. This mission addresses both online and on-the-ground needs.
Shaykh Faraz is also an accomplished author. His notable work includes “Absolute Essentials of Islam: Faith, Prayer, and the Path of Salvation According to the Hanafi School,” published by White Thread Press in 2004, which is a significant contribution to Islamic literature.
His influence extends beyond his immediate community. Since 2011, Shaykh Faraz has been recognized as one of the 500 most influential Muslims. This recognition comes from the Royal Islamic Strategic Studies Center. It underscores his impact on the global Islamic discourse.
Shaykh Faraz Rabbani’s life and work embody a profound commitment to Islamic scholarship. His teachings continue to enlighten and guide seekers of knowledge worldwide.
